Sex a Delicate Apple

By Kayode Oladipupo

In this book, you will learn that sex is good, sex is pleasurable, sex is powerful, sex is intimate, sex is bonding, and sex creates new life. The book provides a practical guide for young people and sexually active adults on how to possess themselves in honour and dignity. It stress the fact that sexual purity is God’s ideal for us. When we follow this ideal, sexual intimacy becomes a powerful force that creates a strong bond of oneness and unity between husbands and wives. Proper use of sex helps youths to develop sterling leadership qualities like: Responsibility, Respect, Care, Concern, Empathy, Self- Control, Right Conduct, Transparency, Integrity, Accountability and Loving Relationship. Sex, though sweeter than honey, needs a careful and delicate handling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kayode Oladipupo
• Release date: Jan 29, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005673642

Book preview

FOREWORD

Sex and sexuality are the taboos in African cultural references. Infact, in many of our African languages we do not have the word that translates sex directly. Many people of my generation can testify that they were never exposed to the formal lesson on sex – either by parents or by a teacher in the classroom. We had to discover all about sexuality on our own, more especially through our peers during the teenage years of exploration. The parents are either embarrassed to talk about it or they also were never empowered to talk about it. Many teenagers or young adults have become victims of irresponsible sexuality due to their ignorance on this subject matter. We at the moment faced with society threatened by the scourge of Sexually Transmitted Infections, high incidence of single parenthood which breeds the imbalanced growth of children, teenage pregnancy which leaves the economically struggling families in some distressful situations, and the disturbed career pathing of the productive sector of the society in the tertiary institutions.

My colleague, S.K. Oladipupo, in this book does not offer a quick – fix solution to the problem of misconstrued sexuality. He endeavours to bring to the attention of the reader the fact that sexuality is neither an accident nor misnomer we have to deal with as human beings. Sex is a wonderful gift of God and is designed to be enjoyed within the confines of marriage. I believe it is an important issue for both Christians and non-Christians of our milieu. The biblical authority on the subject is balanced well with the physiological ramifications – something that is rare in many manual on the subject. The Bible is the tether that sets the limits. We seek to learn about sex and sexuality by appealing to the scriptural examples that sets the parameters within which sex is to be practiced and enjoyed. I delight in the fact that the author leads us into submitting ourselves to the authority of scriptures, without disregarding our sensible physiological realities. For many of the current generation to understand sexuality, it is not just all about sex acts, but it is all about self-understanding, self-esteem, initiatives and assertiveness. It implies understanding of the importance of delaying pleasure and gratification for the long-term good and better life.

It is vital for us as people who oversee God’s flock to move out of our comfort –zones and address the issues relating to sexuality in a more direct and responsible manner. The time has come for us to break the mysteriousness of sexuality and teach our people the facts of life in a way that can lessen the social menaces we encounter in our societies today. As social workers, spiritual overseers, community leaders, and youth practitioners, we need to expose the negative outcomes of sexual irresponsibility that is spread by some political icons and media in our day. We need to engage in social analysis of the impact of the irresponsible behaviour so that the modern generation can be conscientised with the effects of this ignorance and lack of responsibility. The young people need to be empowered in areas of taking charge of their bodies and who they are. The parents need to be encouraged to be transparent to the younger generation about issues of sexuality. The beauty of sex is something not to be ashamed of but to be proud of. The young men and women must know from us as reliable sources the virtue of virginity. They have to know that the best gift one can give one’s life partner is virginity on the first honeymoon day or night. We have to develop the positive outlook of sex. I recommend to you this book as a valuable resource for clarity on sexuality issues.

Kelebogile Thomas Resane,

YFCI\Africa – Southern Region and Training Director

Johannesburg RSA

CHAPTER 1

S EX

Sex is part of God’s creative plan

f or men and women

Femi and Kemi are into relationship. They have been going out on a regular date for sometimes now. Of recent, there is a growing tension between the two. On a date, Femi walked up to Kemi, held her hands and looked straight into her eyes, gently pulled her to himself.

Femi:(Leaned forward): Sweetheart, let’s have a kiss.

Kemi:(Snapped back in protest): What’s is getting on

you! Don’t you know that it is not right for us to

have sex before marriage?

Femi:(Surprised): Do you call kissing sex? Everybody

is doing it.

Kemi:No, we are not everybody; we are Christians,

well nurtured youths. It is a sin to do that before

marriage? Can’t you understand?

On their way home, Femi reached out his hands and held Kemi by her waist.

Kemi:(Protesting): Femi, you are going too far.

Femi:What do you mean I’ m going too far? You mean

just holding you is going too far?

Kemi:I thought we are on a date to get to know each

other and to build a relationship that will last us

for a life time. For us to achieve that, we need

to abstain from all forms of sexual act now.

Femi:You will have to define what you mean by sexual

act. Since everything spells sex in your sight

Kemi:Femi, please try to understand. It is for our own

good. You know I love you, but we must get

things straight.

Femi:Okay then, what is sex? I wish to know

Sex is a private and personal close relationship between male and female joined together as husband and wife under God. Sex is good, sex is pleasurable, sex is powerful, sex is intimate, sex is bonding, and sex creates new life. Sex is a small but delicate thing and people particularly the young ones find it attractive and adventurous.

Sex includes the following:

Caressing

Petting

Kissing

Masturbation

Seductive dressing

Intercourse

Pornography

Oral sex:

Fellatio - An act of touching man’s penis

with mouth and tongue to derive

sexual pleasure.

Cunnilingus - An act of touching a woman’s

sex organ with the mouth and

tongue to derive sexual pleasure.

The best context for this deeply personal and profound act is within the bond of a committed and faithful marriage where life and love can grow and benefit individuals and society. Sex was created and designed by God to stimulate