Raise the Bar: To Live a Life of Excellence in Health, Wealth, Relationship and Spirituality

By Jay Ibrahim

Raise the Bar is about leaving the world of normalcy and mediocrity and raising yourself above your standard. It is about living a life of excellence and mastery in all aspects of your life, including health, wealth, relationships and spirituality. Most of us are good, but when we are told how to live great, we say, "I'm good enough." This mindset is damaging and limiting, hence we succumb to our thoughts, not our potential. This book will take you on a thirty-day journey to take your life to extraordinary levels and become whole. Raise the bar in everything that you do and become a legacy-maker.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Jan 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9780228857747

Jay Ibrahim

Jay Ibrahim is an entrepreneur who revolutionized the relationship world. His background in psychology, behavioural psych, Applied Behavior Analysis, psychotherapy and rehab counselling over the last eleven years puts him ahead of the race when it comes to relationships, conflict and resorting to your love life once again. His decades of experience and profound knowledge of modern ages and classic strategies of resorting to relationships and communication give all his clients the comfort to know they are in good hands, and that there is no problem he can't handle.Jay has an online platform called Metanoia Academy. Ultimate Freedom Journey is one of his successful programs, helping thousands of people raise the bar in health, wealth, relationships, and spirituality and live a life of freedom mentality. He is a world-renowned love doctor mentoring clients on how to be the ultimate man.

Book preview

Raise

the Bar

To live a life of Excellence in Health, Wealth, Relationship and Spirituality

Jay Ibrahim

Raise the Bar

Copyright © 2021 by Jay Ibrahim

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-5773-0 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-5772-3 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-5774-7 (eBook)

Table of Contents

Preface

Introduction

Part I: Define Your Lifestyle

Day 1: Who do you want to be?

Day 2: How to achieve ALL the biggest GOALS.

Day 3: How to build your mastery.

Day 4: Your vision of fortitude.

Day 5: How to find what are you looking for?

Day 6: How to Attain True Balance

Part II: Build your Lifestyle

Day 7: How to build your ideal relationship.

Day 8: It is time to untie the knot.

Day 9: Welcome diversities as you welcome challenges.

Day 10: What is your reason for happiness?

Day 11: What is your biggest regret?

Day 12: Your world is yours for the creation.

Part III: Live Your Dream Lifestyle

Day 13: What would you do if you were not afraid?

Day 14: To live a life of purpose is to live a meaningful life.

Day 15: How to fix your relationship through your Broken Window.

Day 16: Why your relationship is not optimal.

Day 17: How to become your authentic self.

Day 18: How to make your own sandwich.

Part IV: Become Your Dream Lifestyle

Day 19: How to become what you are destined to be.

Day 20: Where are you planting your seed?

Day 21: How to live a life of gratitude.

Day 22: How to take charge of your life?

Day 23: How to find your Ah-ha moment.

Day 24: How to live a life of grace and servitude.

Part V: Be your Dream Lifestyle

Day 25: How to inhabit the life of wealthy and successful people.

Day 26: How to avoid the myth about relationship.

Day 27: Where are you toward your convictions?

Day 28: Are you going to be a BOAT or a LIGHTHOUSE?

Day 29: Should I stay, or should I go?

Day 30: Have you struggled long enough yet have taken risk?

Epilogue

Preface

I remember the moment very well. I was sitting in bed watching TV before going to sleep. I was struck by the concept that no matter what happens in life, we will never be satisfied. Millions of people are always searching for better things in life, wanting to climb or escape somewhere else rather than being at home. Even my partner was Googling on the phone, searching around and finding out what new scandal was going on in the world, rather than being present. It is not even about being present with someone that was the issue. We are not satisfied with our lives, so we view the world and see what else we can add as excitement in life.

Before you wonder where I am going with this and why I am starting this book in a pessimistic tone, I’m trying to capture the moment when this book began to write itself. After studying people for decades, it was apparent that a person’s presence is no longer a present on many occasions. Most forget to see the value of their existence but instead want to compare their lives with the other people, thinking:

•Why am I not happy despite all my material gains?

•Why am I not as successful as other people?

•When will it be my turn to be happy and successful?

Instead of trying to solve their problem or the ordinary life they live, I uplift and provide a different avenue that dissolves the problems.

The problems never really existed, and we will dive into this much deeper in the book, but I want you to understand the premise first. Imagine if there was no problem or, better yet, imagine if the problem was not really a problem but only a by-product of your programming about your actions— meaning the problem itself does not exist. It is an illusion of what we make it to be.

There is a powerful statement in the book The Kybalion: A Study of the Hermetic Philosophy of Ancient Egypt and Greece, originally published in 1908. If you haven’t read it, it is a must. The book said that life creates what we make of it, meaning that the mind and our spiritual essence represent the ‘all.’ The ‘all’ cannot be deleted or changed but instead exists in its perfect form. An interesting aside to this is complexity science’s belief that nothing is real until it is looked at (‘Schrödinger’s cat’ thought experiment). We create such form, and by extension, we create the world we live in. We possess the power to make the difference in the wise eyes (i.e., You). What you decide to muster as your choice in life is what is created. Now, tell me that is not profoundly worded.

We have a set of ideas derived from our core belief system that holds no value in our life anymore. Yet, we make conscious decisions daily to follow these outdated belief systems, and we cannot see anything beyond them. This book will help you see things from a different perspective, making you understand that this life has a different view—the truth. A person’s real vision is blurred by nothing but real possibilities and untapped potentials. This book will guide you through the journey of finding yourself and eradicating all your problems. The Kybalion helped me understand that the problem never really existed but rather the problem manifests in the mind, and we can create a different mindset. If we can create a different manifestation, we will no longer have problems with health, wealth, spirituality, or relationships.

You will learn techniques, strategies, and world-class habits that will:

•help you seize opportunities designed by you.

•equip you with the mindset that has helped millions create the lifestyle of their dreams.

•instil in you a habit that creates fulfilment and everlasting happiness; and

•also, you will learn to become your own hero and tap into your superpowers.

It is time to change your world, envision your outcome, dissolve your problems, and ultimately reach self-actualisation.

I will leave you with this great quote by Peter Crone during an interview set out at Nail it and Scale it by Kerwin Rae:

"Most people are under the impression if something is wrong now, I need a solution. I am not a fan of that because I think affirmations are a behavioural adaptation to the belief that there’s something wrong. I would rather get you to the place where we realise there’s nothing wrong, so why I need affirmation."

Who is this book for?

I know some people reading this book will be wondering if they fit what is discussed in this book. When I started writing this book, I was thinking about who my best audience would be, who are the right people that would benefit the best from this. During my working career in the disability, mental health and recovery sector for the last twelve years, I have encountered many clients who have endured many hardships throughout their life – from a life of torment due to parental control or negligence, from the abuse that has impacted them emotionally and physically and from the struggle to see the purpose in living. All these clients have one thing in common; they were all men. I have worked closely with men in my career and have found my methods worked tremendously with men. Not to say that it will not work with women. During my working career, most of the clients were comfortable working with the same-sex practitioners/clinicians, making it hard for me to work closely with female clients for long periods, especially those who had sexual allegations against men.

Some female clients have had horrific stories of sexual abuse from close relatives, making my work with them short-lived, and I had to find other ways to leave my mark on them. Hence, I would work with other female practitioners to supervise them on how to treat those clients and how to show a level of empathy that each female client could understand and welcome without being triggered. Therefore, I found that my work with men has been helpful, beneficial and uplifting. The languages that I would use with them were concise and most were able to comprehend the level of complexity they were undergoing. The stoic men had a harder time accepting the treatment, the diagnosis or the vulnerable nature of the job. They were more resistant to therapy. That was the best part because resistance indicated that I was on the right track; the hesitation, the subtle realisation that I might be right, and finally, the shift of body language that accompanied each difficult conversation. All these tales told me that I was strolling along a road that is less travelled and it needed further exploration. I brought with me the scavenger tools to excavate the caves of untapped pasts that were long forgotten and which clients had worked hard to suppress.

Men from all walks of life came to me attempting to find something about themselves that they had left uncovered. They had secrets they were unaware of due to the survival state they had to remain in overcome everyday challenges. Each session came with further complications that they never wanted to unveil until the time was right. Every businessman, executive, successful and world-class individual who came through my door wanted to find out one thing — why were they not happy despite their lifestyle? Each person has had success one way or another, but they were finding it hard to enjoy the fruits of their labour. They were finding it tormenting to fight the urges and wanted to quit it all and leave this earth. The level of their happiness did not match the challenges they were facing. Each one stated that they understood the challenges would make the man and how each moment is a realisation toward something greater. Yet, they remained unhappy and unaccomplished.

These clients helped me understand much more about what men’s role is in society, so I started researching why most of these men were unhappy. I left the field to venture off on my own, doing the necessary research that most people have done, and I uncovered something profound. I realised the reasons why these men were unhappy and why they continued to struggle to define themselves. Their self-image, identity, and who they are as individuals had been clouded by many misguided years. The layers that each person wore to hide their true identity became the costume they wore for the world. They found out that the more layers they wore, the more protected they felt. They saw themselves in the third person and realised they had a scapegoat for all their problems. Responsibility and accountability became a concept that none obeyed. The men would tell you that they take full responsibility, but their actions remained the same. They remained the abusive partner who promised they would stop or the cheating partner who vowed they will never dive into that pond of unhealthy temptation ever again. They exchanged one addictive pattern for another because they enjoyed the rush more than the reward. The promises they bestowed toward their partner came with no conviction or truthfulness. Instead, they became the scripted words they had learned to say or recite when the damage had been done and licking the wounds was the only option.

I started to study those men and men alike and found that each has a set of commonalities that needed to be explored further. I began sharing my research with my clients, and the success that came from each of my sessions was almost mystical, so I needed to share it with more people. That is why this book has been written because it gave me the ability to share my knowledge with anyone who wants to see the other side of happiness and see beyond everyday success and lifestyle and know what awaits. This book is a 30-day journey to help you reach your level of excellence and mastery in all aspects of life. To help you understand this concept further, do not look at it as days, where each day you must complete one section. Look at it as a way of living, which means that each ‘day’ is a moment in your life that you must embody, a new ingredient to the slice of life that you devour. It is a new way to see life from a different vantage point and find better ways to overcome your past, live your present and foresee your future.

I started conducting live events, seminars, teaching and coaching for men who wanted the complete lifestyle, who wanted to compete with their ‘today self’ and rise above it, who wanted to live a life of excellence in health, wealth, relationship and spirituality. No more a lifestyle of simplicity and mediocrity just because it will fit the norm and turn you into a living blind spot. Instead, it is for the ways of seeing beyond your past, whether it is trauma-based or unaccomplished and being able to see the power that is bestowed upon you through lived experiences. Each person I worked with was able to define themselves greatly at the end, break their shackles and march toward happiness with sincerity and intention. Now it is your turn, so the next question to ask yourself is…

Do you know yourself well enough?

I get this question or a variant of it all the time:

Why do I need to focus on all aspects of my life when I just need help with my relationship?

Or

How can I make my partner change?

Everyone seems to want a quick-fix scenario and evaporate the problem. I keep telling my clients—who are called ‘travellers’ because they go through a self-identification journey and find purpose—that my work is not to solve problems but help dissolve them. A problem is not superficial; it has layers and layers of problems.

Everything around us is full of energy. Everything has a circular motion that brings things back around.

No matter where you go in life, you always end up back where it all started. EVERYTHING is connected.

Every cell, every fibre of being, atom, and molecule is connected, just like everything around us.

We live in a continuous life of give and take. We provide what is necessary and take what is granted, but it is essential not to take it for granted. Our ‘bad’ is someone else’s good and vice versa.

Think of a relationship as a tree—we give out carbon dioxide while trees give us oxygen. Each cycle is essential for survival. We are on a continuous circle.

Now, think of your life when it comes to this circular connection. What would happen if the connection were untangled, even if a small bit? You start to unravel and lose connection to your inner self (subconscious). So, your outer self (conscious) is floating now and roaming without any destination or foundation.

Where will the outer self go?

EVERYWHERE and NOWHERE

because you lost your navigation. The outer self will find the next best thing and attach itself to it like a parasite, infesting the life of someone else. Many call it love; you call it living or surviving. Now you have infested this new entity, sharing your lost body with a connected soul. The lost body will eventually become a host, taking over someone’s else life and overreaching their true potential within their own body and leaving them lost within themselves. Now you occupy a body that belongs to someone else and caused another person to unravel and untangle.

Now the problem has doubled. You have caused more people to lose connection and circulation. You must understand one thing—you are born complete, a full circle (a concept you will learn more about in a later chapter) with untapped potential and capabilities, connected to your parents and ancestors. Your bloodline carries gifts from many years ago into the one person. Each bloodline carries its own scripture that holds the truth and stories of our past, passed down through generations. Now we possess those stories in the form of essence, which we now call our instincts.

YOU

You are now creating many possibilities, revolving your life around an entity with no bounds and no limits. What can this body do once it understands its real power? You can either guard it with your life and do what is necessary to survive, or you can lead and create the superpower that it possesses by Living. Growing. Knowing.

I tell everyone that no matter what destination you desire to take yourself toward, define what desire is based on. If it is based on your emotional capacity, you will forever remain present in the NOW.

Your goals and dreams will attach themselves to the emotion you possess now. You can shift that emotion and stay positive, but in life, actual struggles become hurdles that need constant battling.

However, if you start from the beginning by defining your inner connection, who would you find?

Your inner you

You must always go back to the start and recalibrate. Life will not wait for anyone, but your life demands that you start over and not roll over.

The lost person who was once left behind, the person who needed your hand to guide toward your outer world. Someone to cherish work through innocent eyes, the eyes of the optimist, and the eyes of tomorrow.

The creation of a healthier, better, stronger relationship must start from the beginning and finding your inner self. You have forgotten ‘full circle’ dance. You had it memorised so well before, but now you forgot how it all began. The sequences are out of sync, the alignment is off, and your communication is obsolete. Your inner self is talking to you to let you into its life once again. Close the circle by finding your inner self and give back what you have taken for years.

Complete the circle by finding what you are missing and close that gap. Each life has its pillars, and each pillar creates the foundation that you build your Tomorrow. These pillars need to be healthy and well-grounded for you to grow.

Why am I standing here? What is my reason? These pillars become your blueprint to a home once forgotten, and this home is the safety net that helps you navigate back to the inner you.

Do you have all your pillars connected and interlocked? If you focus on only one pillar, what about the rest? Have they reached the potential that you desire? If yes, are they sustained?

Each pillar becomes part of you. You instil in each pillar what you dream of the most: the best partner, a successful business, a healthier mindset, and physical/metaphysical and spiritual evolution that brings you all together. Now, these are your pillars, and these are your blueprints, so paint the picture that you deserve.

Are you ready to live the lifestyle that you desire and deserve? Then make the commitment to go back full circle and see your true inner self. Find that person and bring the person forward and start over.

This book will help you find your purpose, transform your life, find your inner self, and revolutionise your lifestyle. It all begins today.

Here are your stages:

1.Part 1: Define Your Lifestyle

2.Part II: Build your Lifestyle

3.Part III: Live Your Dream Lifestyle

4.Part IV Become Your Dream Lifestyle

5.Part V Be your Dream Lifestyle

You are born to win and made to live

Introduction

We live our lives searching for a sense of purpose, meaning, and something that we can be proud of, but even when we find it, we often feel lost, confused, and unfulfilled.

The search was never based on your purpose or your goal but rather on your beliefs. How you view yourself and your self-worth determines your thriving lifestyle. Every successful person, leader and champion accomplished something greater within themselves when they found their worth in their actions and journey.

Ask yourself:

•Have you ever found yourself feeling empty after achieving a goal?

•Have you ever felt dissatisfied even after a promotion or success in business?

•Have you ever found yourself dissatisfied with your life even though you have more than most?

It all has to do with your self-worth and beliefs, which create your identity. They form a strong viewpoint on your experience, which eventually shapes your attitude and builds your character.

Everyone knows how much your attitude determines your latitude. It provides you with a sense of strong will, determination, perseverance, and sheer desire to be your best self. Watch how your belief damages every aspect of your life. Everything about you is connected: every part of your life correlates with another, meaning that if your health increases, it will carry your relationship, wealth, happiness, etc. Many of you make the mistake of waiting until something happens before you make the next move.

You say to yourself:

•Once I get this promotion, I will focus on my health.

•Once we move to my ideal home, I will decorate the house.

•Once I finish this project, I will focus on my family.

Life has no pause button. It has no when ready button to instigate your life. All it has is constant momentum, and it begins with now—no delay and no delusion of a promised tomorrow. NOW. The moment you let doubt, negative self-belief, limitation, false perception and forged identity into your life, you poison it. Think of it: the moment you have doubt in your life, you corrupt the love and connection you have with yourself, then it creeps its way to your partner and everyone around you. Therefore, they eventually leave you.

This impacts your reflection and experience about relationships and viewpoints, and it quickly adds negatively to your health—you begin to drink, and you mostly drink alone. You drink to hide the pain or drink, so you no longer feel pain or sorrow. Drinking becomes an addiction, and that addiction becomes your source of anger and aggressive behaviour toward others. That behaviour imprints a label about your character and discourages any person from coming closer to you. To make it even worse, you start to push people away, thinking:

•Why would you even love someone like me?

•Why would you even care about an addict like me?

You start to believe the labels people place on you instead of calling it for what it is— a moment. A moment of relapse, a moment of weakness, a sense of vulnerability, but rather, you make it your identity.

That behaviour, identity, and addiction become your new way of life. You begin to lose your financial stability and spend it all on your addictions, gambling, and alcohol. You spend unwisely to close the void and buy material objects to satisfy your ego and make you feel empowered and loved. Now what is being sacrificed is your finances. Your income is no longer able to extend to all your new habits and shopping sprees. Only then do you begin to realise that nothing in this world matters anymore. You begin to lose your spiritual and religious connection. Your faith in humanity dies or, even worse, has a reverse effect in life. You begin to lose faith in what made you healthy in the first place and start to put all your energy into the corruptions and distractions in life.

Your downward spiral does not stop there. It takes you further to a sense of emptiness because now you begin to feel even worse about yourself and who you are becoming. Your identity is fully formed into someone you despised more than anyone in this world. You have become the one person you hated the most, the one who made you feel small and unworthy from the start—your parent.

Life has a funny way of returning you to your old ways. You become your worst enemy since you believe there is no point. You think I will be just like my dad or mum. There is no escape, so let me transform into my parents, a belief that will potentially be inherited by my kids and their kids. The cycle continues

It all began with your self-belief, your self-worth, your own reflection that determined your experience, which eventually shaped your attitude.

Today it stops!

This makes sense.

I work with an organisation that provides clients with disability support. It is guided by vital principles and clarity, which makes my work both beneficial and impactful. When I first started working within the disability and mental health sector a decade ago, I did not know which side would benefit me the most. I have never had the concept of helping others, but always asked how can I become great at what I do? Throughout my studies, I wanted to justify why I was studying psychology. I began searching for my meaning through my studies. I thought that if I studied psychology, I would make sense of my life and my thought processes.

Even when I was dating and sabotaging relationships, cheating on others, and so on, I kept asking why I kept doing this to myself. Would I show the world to every woman I dated (at least I thought I did)? I would make her so happy and finally, would make her fall in love with me. That gave me gratification to the greatest extent, and I kept pushing these fake relationships that meant everything to them but were a hobby for me. And I kept on saying that this makes sense to me now, let me continue venturing down this rabbit hole, let me see what I can find.

I managed to get my degree in psychology and went on to further study. I pursued higher learning and was never satisfied with just one Master’s, so I went on to get my second degree. Hopefully, by the time you read this book, I will have finished my third Master’s. To me, that made sense, and I justified everything I did when I began working in the field. I was more confused about what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to help. Books, research, and more jobs later, and I was still unable to make sense of it all.

Then came challenges, heartaches, pain, and further suffering, and it finally all made sense. I was meant to make sense of my journey through my own reflection. While I embraced these experiences, I would lavish my life with learning to gain further insight into WHO I AM. That became my new motto.

When I meet a new referral, when I get new client in my coaching business, and even when I meet new people in my life, they ask me what I do. I say,

"I do a lot of things; my role does not necessarily define me. Instead, I create an experience through your own lived journey. I try to help the people I connect with make sense of their reality and dissolve their fantasies. I help others to see you for who you are by empowering everyone with the right narratives to define themselves and actions."

I undertook further studies in trauma and forensics. Through my work with both disability and mental health clients as a behaviour specialist, I became a human lie detector (not a bad superpower). I realised that many people need to acquire one thing only, not a sense of purpose and not even a reason for living. People wanted to feel understood, wanted to feel heard, and needed an emotional connection. These findings helped everyone answer the million-dollar question, WHO AM I?

Ideally, every step you take is you trying to make sense of it all. You try to make sense of your decision, result, actions, or reactions. Everything that revolves around you becomes a question of reality and making sense of it all. So, when I meet a new client in my ‘job’ or my coaching business, I tell them the same thing. I help you make sense of what is going on for you; therefore, you begin to feel understood and heard. Once you achieve that clarity, your potential is endless, and you break through the roof of your own limitations. Why? Because you realise there was never a roof in the first place. It was personal agendas placed by others that defined you through their impaired visions.

Superpowers.

When we let those people dictate our lives, we become an image of their own reflection. Therefore, we do our best to fit within that image. So, we study what people say is a good job. We talk about the job we will take and base it on the salary we will make from it. I work at this job, and I can make up to six figures and so on, but no one talks about the impact they make on others.

I was guilty of that starting path. I took the job or studied something to become an authority figure so I could have a ‘superpower,’ but not knowing what I would do with these powers. Instead of using it for good, I empowered myself and never thought of who I might harm along the way. That is how most of us think—how can we use whatever talent or skill (learned or inherited) we have to benefit our life?

Our self-image becomes the new passport we take with us everywhere we go. We are not welcomed to certain areas or settings without showing our identification (passport) as it informs our understanding through our daily practices. Are we worthy enough to be a superhero using these superpowers, or are we merely average people who are dressing up? These questions become your guide for what you should do next in your job, career, and lifestyle.

You try your best to find more meaning from your ventures and try to make sense of it. You convince yourself that your superpowers are used for good when you only use them to boost your morale and socio-economic status. You work at this job because you want to make X amount of money and buy a certain type of car and live in particular areas. These are your guidelines and your projected superpowers and your thoughts and actions are justified by your result.

We take on these roles in the jobs we despise. Still, since it is justified by our superpowers, we become accepted. Your new job gives you a desire that was lost growing up. It could be because you grew up poor and do not want to go back to that life. It could be that you were shunned from making any moves as your siblings overshadowed you. It could be because you became entitled as a single child, so you thought that your inherited superpower is your birth right rather than earned. There are many other reasons in play, but they all lead in the same direction—self-preservation.

Now you are in a job you barely even like, taking your anger out on your family daily, and you start to get angry at little things. You become unbearably on edge all the time, aggressive at work, and barely have time for fun. You educate your colleagues and children about being assertive when, in reality, it is bullying in disguise and unnecessary hostility. Now, these people follow your steps and become your protégés. You are their mentor. Your superpower made you a villain, not a hero. You are as good as your last Mentor. Unfortunately for you your first mentors were your parents, followed by friends and others that have a negative impact on your life. The question is who taught them? You can only teach others what you were taught so now you are the image of that poor reality.

Alternatively, you do the complete opposite and hide your pain through impulsive buying that feeds your ego. So, you buy until you are either broke or you hoard unresolved memories. You cannot justify the expenditure, but it makes you feel complete, so why not? You still become a villain.

Realisation.

Life is a journey. We face adversities through our ups and downs, but we try to remain pure at heart and true to our cause. Superpowers are tools given to you to withstand your most challenging times. They give you a fighting chance through everything thrown at you because, without them, you will fail. Each of us has these superpowers, but we do not realise it because they are not activated.

Life is a journey.

In many superhero movies, the hero is exposed to a specific moment that made them realise their moment or their superpower. Spiderman was bitten by the spider, but it was more about his uncle dying that made him realise his superpower. Superman’s powers were inherited, but only when he realised that his power could heal did he make a hard decision. The best superhero of them all, Batman, made a vow when his parents died that justice would pay, but it was at that moment he realised that vengeance would only result in two graveyards –his enemies and his own.

We all need that push to activate the moments of our heroism and make us realise what we are capable of. If they are not activated, these powers will remain dormant and die with you. That is like our epigenetics. Epigenetics derives from Greek, and it means our behaviours and environment can change our genes and the way they work. Our DNA is not necessarily modified, but epigenetics can change how your body reads a DNA sequence.

Epigenetic studies further explored the idea that nature and our behaviour can activate something inside us on top of what we currently have, therefore amplifying our current features. Meaning that if you were to be exposed to an environment where there are many musicians, you will activate your artistic side and emphasise those skills. You, too, can have artistic flair.

These episodes in life will make you realise that you have an additional feature to your inheritance sequence. It is the same moment you realise why you have experienced this scenario. Like many of the clients I have helped, they realised that they are required to add to others and must become someone of influence. I know that the majority can be of influence as villains, so how can they know the difference?

It comes in proportion to the amount of pure joy and happiness you experience when others follow your advice and guidance and receive tremendous growth. When what you are projecting onto others comes from unconditional love and pure determination to add value to others. You provide these values with a euphoric feeling because you know you have used your superpowers for good rather than evil. These superpowers are now like infections, and those around you are also influenced by your impact. Now you have many people following in your footsteps.

In this book, you will have the opportunity over the next 30 days to live your true life as a superhero and a genius in your domain. You will be given a chance to live a life of total mastery while leaving behind a legacy. What you will learn will become engrained through your actions and thoughts, therefore activating your epigenetics.

As you go through the stories, you will begin to unravel the mystery left inside you, filled with confusion and hostility. Eliminating those thoughts and habits will allow you to gain clarity and finally make sense of your life, both in thoughts and perspectives. When you enlarge your field of vision, you begin to see your true potential and become open-minded.

As your vision becomes more transparent, you also start to see your identity, your attitude, and soon, your character. You begin to build the person you desire to be as you will better understand yourself.

You invite discussions, open conversations, and reflection with yourself and bring the house down on self-defeating narratives. You start to love your life, the impact you are making in all interactions, and genuine happiness starts to fill your life. Your goal moves from making yourself happy to making others grow and flourish.

You move toward a hero mentality and bring comfort and security to everyone around you. People feed off your positive energy and see the benefit of your way and begin to copy what you do. Your legacy has grown and permanently printed your name through their actions and accurate presentation of your teaching. The value that you added rippled into a community of greatness and leaders.

You move from an ordinary individual to the dream body you desired. You become what you wished to be from the day you were born—a person of purpose, a person of pure love, influencing everywhere you go—a superhero.

Let us start the process. You need to make a commitment to yourself today. You need to commit to unravelling your character and activating your inherited talent and skill. You need to focus on all areas of your life.

We will focus on your health, wealth, relationships, and spirituality. These avenues will ignite you from within and shine the light into your darkness and begin to decipher your ultimate question: who am I?

You will make sense of what is going on for you and make sense of your world and mind. You will gain clarity about your life and finally identify yourself.

Move toward a heroism lifestyle, a dream lifestyle you were born to live.

Part I

Define Your Lifestyle

Day 1

Who do you want to be?

Success is the sum of small efforts - repeated day-in and day-out.

-Robert Collier (Owner of Collier magazine)

As we start this new journey and embark on something bigger, we must do one thing.

We must determine where you want to be? Where do you want to be in 30 days?

What type of person do you NEED to become?

Thirty days might not sound like a long time but let me tell you, it only takes one day to change the rest of your life, so do not be fooled by the duration of the days. What really matters is what today looks like. Shape your day, and the world will mould itself to fit within your mind.

We will touch on thousands of books in psychology, social psychology, forensics, behavioural psychology, relationships, mindset, spirituality, health, divine living, growth, leadership, and trauma. The list goes on during this journey that we are taking. I have over a decade of experience working in this field, impacting, empowering, leading, and influencing people around me.

The goal is that you will see the best version of yourself with every step in the journey. Every day that you take toward your goal is a day closer to a lifestyle of freedom, living, and a positive mindset. Over the years, my work has been to capture misplaced innocence, which allowed many to break away from their shackles and eliminate the impression that we have limits.

But I am here to tell you and show you that in our 30-day journey together, you are only limited by the mindset you have allowed others to create for you.

Therefore, you will soon realise that no matter where you are placed on Earth, your process of living can begin when you decide that today is the day.

Whenever you are held back or think of stopping because you are not good enough or whatever other reason people place on you, tell yourself one thing:

Not Today.

Just NOT today.

So, let us begin your 30-day challenge of transformation by defining what you need to be.

Think long and hard about who you want to become within the next 30 days. Not just anyone. Really think hard and ask yourself: If I cannot be this person, then is my life worth living? I know it sounds morbid, but we need to dive deep into what truly motivates you so you can commit for 30 days and know that if you hesitate and miss a day, you must start all over again. However, when you think deep down why you are committing yourself to these 30 days, it needs to be something so divine that it pushes and motivates you because your life depends on it.

I promise you this process works, and everything that we will be doing over the upcoming weeks will lead toward a lifestyle you never saw possible. Imagine your life 30 days from now, where you have achieved your desired goals.

If you decide that today is the last day of living a mediocre life, then you must commit yourself to the cause, and the reason is YOU. You are not doing this for anyone but yourself. Honour your decision to be who you want to be in the next 30 days and respect yourself to fulfil this honour.

Your accountability is crucial in this step, so you must be honest, truthful, and transparent. It is much more efficient if you have an accountability partner, but you must see the person you need to be. So, if you are doing this with your partner, they must have their own 30-day goal that is not based on your goal. Even if you run a business together, each other’s goals and values will all depend on the type of leader you become and choose to instil into others. Focus on who that person is first; then, we can work on collective goals.

You can decide to be a better father, a better husband, a better lover, a better partner, a better leader, better CEO, earn more money, receive the love that you desire. You must define it. We can never take you to a destination if we do not know where you are currently and where you want to go. If you have ever done that, then no wonder you are feeling lost, confused, and unfulfilled. You have no goal destination.

You cannot say to yourself you want to be a millionaire in 30 days, or you want 30 years of pain to go away in 30 days, but I can assure you, you will be closer to these goals than you have ever been before because you did one thing—you committed to yourself.

Create a list of what you seek to accomplish and become within the next 30 days. Think of the four pillars in life (an idea adapted and extended from Zig Ziglar’s Wheel of Life and Robin Sharma’s Four Interior Empires):

•Health

•Wealth

•Relationships

•Love

•Spirituality

•Family

•Leadership

Create a list under these seven categories and map out where you want to be in 30 days in each category.

Health

Stand in front of the mirror and look at your body - are you happy with it? If not, what is that you seek to gain or lose? Here is the thing: you are not allowed to hate your body because that creates nothing more than a spiralling negative effect on yourself and your body. Your body is simply a by-product of your own creation, meaning you cannot really hate your body. That is counterproductive; you can’t hate a car that you bought because it doesn’t feel or drive right. You choose the car, just like you choose your body. It did not create itself; it happened over a long period.

Instead, what I want you to do is dislike the habits that created the body you see and the thought processes that led to where you are now. Your body did not do anything wrong. It followed its biological responsibility to consume food and drink. Hence, it is only repaying you for what you have done to it.

I remember going to the beach and seeing every single parent wearing shirts to cover their bodies while in the water, rather than enjoying being in the water with shirts off. I mean really enjoying the sun, the experience, the sensation of the water and how it feels on your body. Instead, people wearing shirts speaks volumes because it says, I do not like my body and what I have done for it, so I am going to deprive myself of this great experience just to avoid shame. Shame is a mindset and mental reaction to an action that you have repeatedly done toward your body. So, if your definition of the ideal body is something else than what you currently have, then find that habit that resulted in that and put all your emotions toward going the other way and start loving your body for being there for you. Take the time to thank your body.

Take the time to think about what type of healthy body you want to become in the next 30 days. This new habit will become ingrained, and you will benefit from this way of thinking. It should always come back to YOU. Nobody else will enjoy it more than you. It is your body to stare at in the mirror and say thank you.

Define that body in all its details, make it realistic and achievable but hard enough that it scares you. Your body will thank you as your habits will implicate these results. Put that ideal person on the mirror as a source of motivation. Remember, it is the habit that is discouraged, not the person.

Wealth

Wealth has nothing to do with money but involves the monetary value you can create. Wealth is health in abundance because without your healthy lifestyle, your wealth will be in riches but poor in value. Your lifestyle will be about worthlessness. No one will see the impact that you created, even your family. Your wealth comes from the abundance created through value, leadership, mindset success and fulfilment. That is your true and honest wealth concept.

Wealth is an abundant supply of something you desire. What is it, therefore, you desire most? Find that creative sense and seek more of it by creating the right ritualistic routine that many people before you have done. Think of your wealth as a source of leadership that allows people to grow and succeed. If your plan in life is to be rich, you will always be working and always be poor. But if your goal in life is to be wealthy, then everyone around you becomes rich due to your venture.

Wealth is about something much bigger than what you initially bring to the table. When you write the list of wealth, think of all the items you want an ample amount of within the next 30 days. You might not reach that goal, but you will be sure to be on the right track toward that goal.

Now write down a list of items you would like to be wealthy in—think clearly and think hard. There will be a whole section on wealth at the end of the book that will help you reach that goal in a calculative way.

Relationships.

Relationship is essential as it involves every type of interpersonal connection that you would like to have with people. Do not think of it as only romantic relationships but rather the kind of relationship you want to have with others. John C. Maxwell explains this clearly in his book Leadershift and how connecting with people comes with many challenges, but you must commit to connecting with others. Networking involves humility, energy, commitment, dedication, and love. Each part has a role to play when you are networking with others and creating a healthy relationship.

If any of the following is not present in your network, then you will be alone and left to your own accord. If this continues to happen, then any project or business avenue or simple support that you might seek in the future will be tarnished. Network with others around you and extend a helping and courteous hand to others. Let them know you exist and would like to get to know others.

Define what relationship you would like to have and what you are bringing to the table. You have much more you can offer to the world, so let them know what it is by networking. Find one person a day and just say hello for the sake of saying hello and being friendly. Ask yourself:

•What type of relationship do you want to have?

•Who did you resonate with?

•Who would you like to resonate with?

•Do you have leaders in your network?

•Do you have business owners, chief executive officers, and people you want to inspire?

•Who is in your immediate circle?

•Is your partner helping you grow or not?

•Are you learning from them, or are you exactly the average of their lifestyle? Meaning that if they all are working a job, bickering about the same thing, despising others while offering you advice, yet you can clearly see that they have nothing much to offer.

Define it now and let me get you there.

Love.

Everyone needs love. It is part of our evolutionary status and physiological needs. Everything in our life stems from love, including all creation of life and happiness. Love is the utmost manifestation of what we seek to desire and helps us reach a level unfathomed. It all begins with our love to learn and grow, to help others, and to love back. Love is our romantic essence that brings forward a spark of life. Love is the only thing that defies physics and creates miracles. Total focus and creation of what you love the most will shine a light toward your life.

Love is the true cure for disease and mental health symptoms as it helps you see beyond the illness and see the true salvation of your deepest despair. Love allows you to forgive and cherish what you have and will enable you to feel with true intent. Love is what keeps you in a relationship and what motivates you to move forward in life, business and build on your faith.

Love also has the power to destroy if not used properly. How many times have you seen love in a one-sided relationship lead to an empty relationship filled with blind hope and faith? Or overbearing love that led to stalking and even a crime of passion. No matter where you look, the common denominator is always love.

Define what love life looks like to you, but you cannot want something from others. For example, you cannot say that you want someone to love you for who you are; that is bull and has no weight. Do you love yourself for who you are? That statement has nothing to offer but the simple indication that you choose not to grow or improve in your relationship, and you want a mother figure who will take care of you and your needs while expecting nothing. I say to that, GROW UP.

Define the type of love you desire in the next 30 days by defining the kind of growth and love you are going to share:

•What type of lover do you want to be?

•How will you show that?

•Who will you have to be to become that person?

•What does love mean to you, and how will you show that?

•What type of loving person will you become to attract the person you love?

•Are you ready for a relationship (be honest)? What is the one thing that is stopping you? Define what that is, and the following chapters will help you break away from that and attract your ideal partner.

Spirituality.

Spiritual growth and evolution are two main factors that provide you with clarity in life. Spiritual evolution is like hiking up a hill trying to reach the summit. It takes effort and days of discipline. Every day you continue to climb bit by bit. As you do, despite the oxygen level depleting slowly, you still find yourself breathing easily because your lungs have become used to requiring low oxygen to function. Now you are about to reach the summit, and you feel your body is no longer tired but growing stronger, fitter and has better clarity. When you finally reach the top, what do you see? EVERYTHING. You see as far as your eyes can and nothing stands in your way. This is true self-actualisation and spiritual evolution.

Define your spiritual evolution and what it is that you seek to gain at the end. Here are examples that are shared from my clients:

•I want to meditate for 20 minutes a day without disruption.

•Learn to enjoy every aspect of my life.

•Become spiritually connected to every part of my day.

•Have better connection between my subconscious self and conscious self.

•Have strong faith and connection with my religion.

Family.

I should not have to explain to you how important this category is to each person. It not only impacts your life but your whole family and generations to come. Your kids and their kids will be impacted by the decision you make today and over the next 30 days. Ask yourself these questions:

•What type of father do you want to become?

•Is that person different from your mother or father?

•If it is separate, then think about why you want to be different from them?

•What makes them unworthy of being duplicated?

•Once you find that habit, it is easy for you to do the opposite.

Many books talk about the impact fathers and mothers have on their children and that what happens in the first five years will forever impact a child’s life all the way through to adulthood.

⸰Identify their personality.

⸰Build their character.

⸰Build self-esteem.

⸰Shape their identity.

⸰Create individuality.

⸰Learn how to treat others and be treated by others

⸰Build confidence.

⸰Understand friendship and making friends.

⸰Interpersonal relationships

⸰Communication

⸰Honesty and integrity

⸰Learning from mistakes

⸰What unconditional love looks like

⸰Security and comfort

⸰And the list goes on.

Your next 30 days will be crucial to the type of parent you want to become. If you do not have a family yet or even a partner, then think about what personality you want to enrich within your kids.

Define the type of father you want to become.

Leadership.

A real leader creates other leaders to follow. Leadership is everything and can be implemented every day and in every way. Everything that is mentioned above can stem from good leadership. Here are some points about the importance of a good leader:

•A Good Leader understands that leaders help others succeed.

•A Good Leader understands that in business, you cannot hire people to think and organise things in order of importance—that is a role left for you as a leader.

•A Good Leader understands that if you are going to be a leader, you need a thick skin because you will be misunderstood for a long time.

•A Good Leader understands that if people are not showing you signs that they do not want to succeed, then work with someone else.

•A Good Leader understands that nonbelievers will tell you not to bite off more than you can chew or not to get your hopes up, but rather have you choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity. If they have not done it, how are they going to get you there?

•A Good Leader understands that excellence is attainable, but perfection is an illusion.

We can spend all day and many chapters talking about the importance of leadership, but we should focus on what type of leader you want to become. Do not say successful. Define what successful looks like. Bring clarity and thorough definition of the type of leader you want to become in the next 30 days.

"Success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds."

Orison Swett Marden (Author of How to Succeed).

Day 2

How to achieve ALL the biggest GOALS.

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfilment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.

Jack Canfield¹

Now let us continue from our previous step. The first thing you had to do was to define the type of person you want to be, and now it is time to determine the goal attached to that person. Once you state the who you NEED to be, we must attach to it the goals you need to set to achieve those dreams.

Don Miguel Ruiz is a renowned spiritual teacher and internationally bestselling author of books such as The Four Agreements and Mastery of Love. He has spent the past three decades guiding people to personal freedom through his profound insights regarding the nature of human reality. Mr Ruiz said that there are two types of people in this world— the dreamer and the believer. You can decide to dream about the life you want to create or have strong faith in the person you will eventually become. Both avenues are excellent, but you must stick to the person that results from each process. Ruiz further explained that by being a dream master, we can change as fast as the dream changes. And we adapt to the dream instead of resisting it, and we guide the dream in whatever direction we want. The last thing you want to do is to become like most people who focus on the little things, disregarding the bigger picture of what their life can be like.

As Tony Robbins says, I believe most people fail in life simply because they major in minor things. We are designed to outshine our limitations and outgrow our weaknesses, becoming infused instead with the necessary skills to gain our heart’s desire. However, we remain seated in our comfortable couches because we realise that achieving such a goal takes time and hard work, so we settle. Now it is time to create the result you desire for yourself, and soon enough, we will uncover how you had these goals all along, but first, I want you to define your goal.

Design your roadmap.

Every goal ever achieved is built when you begin to design your own map. No destination can be achieved without having the right roadmap. Imagine going on a dirt road without any navigation system, every road might take you somewhere, but it will not be the right road. There is a story that resonates very well with this idea. A young couple, lost on a rural road, spotted an old farmer, so they stopped the car and asked him a question, Sir, could you tell us where this road will take us? Without hesitation, the old farmer said, Son, this road will take you anywhere in the world you want to go if you are moving in the right direction.

Every road will lead you somewhere, but the question is, which road are you meant to be on? Is this the right