Why some Indian millennials don't want to have children

As an animal-lover, Aishwariya Kathiravan, 27, is heavily troubled by how human beings have led to the suffering and even extinction of some of the world's flora and fauna.

The parent of three dogs and two cats, who lives in the south Indian city of Chennai, has rescued more than 100 dogs and helped to arrange the adoption of dozens of cats and dogs over the past 10 years.

Her love for animals led her to become an anti-natalist - a person who believes that the human race should stop procreating to ensure the survival of other living species.

Aishwariya Kathiravan, left, is an anti-natalist. Photo: Handout

Kathiravan, who made the decision seven years ago, is among a tiny but growing number of anti-natalists and child-free advocates in India who are defying the social norms of having children.

The reasons are varied, with some preferring to pursue careers, rejecting the financial commitments involved, or not wanting to subject a child to an increasingly uncertain world amid the coronavirus pandemic and climate change.

Keen to connect with others who shared her views, Kathiravan searched online and came across Child Free India (CFI), a movement supporting child-free people and anti-natalists.

CFI was started two years ago by Pratima Naik, 30, an engineer and social activist from Bangalore who does not want any children. She established the organisation after finding no such support group for people like her.

CFI now has more than 2,000 members across different chapters in seven cities.

"Child-free is a choice of not to have kids, and anti-natalism is a philosophy of phasing out human beings from earth by not procreating, so that other species would have enough resources to survive," Naik said.

No one took CFI seriously when it first opened, she said.

"The first meeting of CFI, held in Bangalore, received bitter criticism as to not have babies is a stigma in India," Naik said. "Many people trolled us."

A woman holds her toddler in Mumbai, India. Photo: EPA-EFE

In India, getting married and raising a family is the crux of life. Only 2 per cent of marriages end in divorces or separations, which are a cultural taboo.

A marriage that does not produce any children, especially sons, results in a tenfold likelihood of ending in divorce or separation, according to research published in the Population and Development Review journal in 2016.

Infertility can also sour a relationship, even leading to domestic violence in India, according to some studies.

For Sourav Dixit, 38, witnessing his parents get into constant arguments over responsibilities and money throughout his childhood made him realise that marriage and children were not absolute necessities in life.

"Parenting requires skills and dedication of time and energy," said Dixit, a psychotherapist in Kolkata. "And I see many parents lack these qualities that cause suffering to children. It is better not to have kids if you are not emotionally or financially capable."

Dixit was open with his decision to be child-free when he and his wife Darshana were dating.

"Sourav had made clear about this before we married and I had accepted it," Darshana said. "They say the life of a woman is incomplete without babies, but I don't feel that way. I spend time with the kids of my siblings, and that is fulfilling."

One reason it is important to Indians to have children is to continue the family line. Photo: AFP

One reason it is important to Indians to have children is to continue the family line, with preferably a son.

That is the reason the parents of Dipak Parashar, a 34-year-old government official, want him to have children.

Parashar, who comes from a Hindu orthodox family from the conservative eastern state of Bihar, said his parents do not accept his child-free stance. In a desperate attempt to get him to change his mind, they took him to temples and asked him to visit a psychiatrist, to no avail.

"Their concern is that the family lineage would end, not that I should have children," said Parashar, who has a partner. "Though my sister has kids, like others in India's patriarchal society, the daughter is considered an outsider and her children don't 'take the genes forward'."

India has a fast-growing population. With about 1.4 billion people, it is the world's second-most populous nation, but it is expected to overtake China in 2027, according to the UN's 2019 World Population Prospects report.

But as the country grows, it is seeing rising social and development challenges such as poverty, food insecurity, unemployment, increased pressure on the environment and natural resources, rising costs of living and housing issues.

India has a population density of about 453 people per square kilometre, about thrice that of China's 153. Because of this, crime issues such as trafficking are worsening.

India is expected to become the world's most populated nation in 2027, according to UN estimates. Photo: AFP

For Naik from CFI, the child-free movement is "no different" from the Indian government's efforts to control population growth through measures such as incentives for small families, or boosting medical facilities for sterilisation, as both will result in fewer children being born.

"CFI is in the process to organise an online event, together with sister organisations from other countries, such as The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, to reach out to people who are child-free," she said.

Some of CFI's supporters include people who have had children.

Darshana Muzumdar, a grandmother from Pune in western India, said she backed the movement to encourage girls and women to stand up for their child-free decisions.

"I always had the feeling that I was not ready to become a parent. But I never had the courage to go against society," she said. "And now I regret it."

This article originally appeared on the South China Morning Post (SCMP).

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