Letters to Chris

By Paper Gold Publishing Ltd and Holly Barbo

Everyday laughter and communications with loved ones can change between heartbeats. Joy becomes hollow. Loss takes its toll. The last two years have increased the number of people coping with loss. For an author used to taking words and making them her own, Holly found one way; she wrote her beloved husband letters. A burden bared is a burden shared.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paper Gold Publishing
• Release date: Feb 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201054762

Paper Gold Publishing Ltd

As a person who views news and politics with the fascination of watching a train-wreck, Bixby is driven to extract what IS discussed and twist it into the light of what ISN’T. Writing fiction, but keeping it within parameters of the believable and possible, K.H.’s thrillers grab the reader, causing them to wonder … is the story real?

Book preview

Prologue

I met Chris in college and had a magically harmonious marriage for forty-five years. He was a gentle man with a healthy sense of humor, very creative, intelligent and a big heart. Speaking of his heart, it was the only thing questionable in his fit body.

He needed a heart valve replacement and was a prime candidate for a minimally invasive procedure. He was tested every way possible, and the surgery was a go. We scheduled it for the last day in March 2020. Prior to the surgery date Covid protocols came into effect which meant we couldn’t visit him in the hospital during the standard five to six days post-surgery recovery.

I spoke with him on the phone three times as he stayed in ICU. He was miserable and just wanted to come home. He’d never been in the hospital before. That is how healthy he was. Then the unexpected happened. He had a massive heart attack three and a half days in recovery and died.

We’d shared everything in life... and in death I had no foundation for my world anymore. I was numb. I so missed the communication, the hugs and after six months I decided to write to him. Hey postage is cheap, right?

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Letters To My Love

October 3, 2020- 6 months without you

Chris, my love-

You will never grow old.

You will never get weak.

You will never lose track of where you are and why you are there.

You will never lose patience with your infirmaries or snap at your loved ones, nor will you ever forget or fail to recognize them.

You will not see me grow old and wrinkled.

You will not bear the grief of Misha-kitty when she reaches the end of her life span but instead will welcome her as she joins you.

You went so quickly and without warning that I hope you did not suffer.

You are so very missed.

I miss the strong lifetime of sharing:

our conversations, thoughts, dreams, observations, and humor but also the burdens and concerns.

I miss your reassurance, hugs, strength, and opinions.

I miss your love and the pride you took in my accomplishments... your confidence in me.

I miss the love in your eyes when you looked at me. I knew you saw me as beautiful even as I was aware of the changes, the wrinkles, and lines time brought. Those things didn’t matter to you.

I miss being your side-kick in our life journey and the humor and gentleness you used when things looked bleak.

I’m afraid of the future without your strength beside me. it is shrouded in fog. I always felt protected and strong as a team. Half of me is gone and I’m having trouble finding my footing. I know I have strength but feel blind. I can’t see the road ahead as I could when you were by my side. I know there is a future for me. I’ll make it someway. Damn I miss you. You left too early.

With All My Love,

Holly

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October 7 Wednesday

The damage to our home, caused by the torrential downpour three weeks after you died, is almost completely finished. It’s been six months since the rain poured into our house... a half year of our walls ripped down to the studs and stepping on the splintered floor. It is beautiful now and I know you would like it. Hopefully Misha-kitty is settling her stress level. During the transition I moved the water, litter, and food into our bedroom (Yes, I’m