Oluwashola, The Story of Us

By Salt Essien-Nelson

Oluwashola: The Story of Us. This is not just a book. It's Salt's life. Her sister, Sholly's life. Her family's life. In all it's perfectly imperfect glory. When her baby sister, Oluwashola (Sholly) Atunrayo Adefolalu Gaska died on December 28, 2016 in far away Poland, a part of Salt

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookTrail Publishing
• Release date: Jan 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637676707

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Salt Essien-Nelson

Paperback: 978-1-63767-669-1

eBook: 978-1-63767-670-7

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021925301

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Ordering Information:

BookTrail Agency

8838 Sleepy Hollow Rd.

Kansas City, MO 64114

Printed in the United States of America

Dedication

This book is dedicated to

You, my Aburo, Oluwashola Atunrayo

Thank you for the purpose you have brought to my life.

And to Bola Malogo

For your voice that continues to encourage us all saying: Go! Climb those Mountains!

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgement

Foreword

Reviews

Introduction

Chapter 1: Before there was Us. There was Prof

Chapter 2: There was Monisol

Chapter 3: Then there was me, your Egbon Number On

Chapter 4: Then, there was our Brother, Tokunb

Chapter 5: Is the Moon Following Us Daddy

Chapter 6: Coming to Nigeria, First Stop, Airport Hotel

Chapter 7: Lara Day Nursery and Primary Schoo

Chapter 8: The Queen of T

Chapter 9: Life at Queen’s College Yab

Chapter 10: A Sholly is Bor

Chapter 11: 26A Saratu Street, Ageg

Chapter 12: Thank You Prof for all the Glorious Books

Chapter 13: Of Fetching Water and Taking Out the Garbag

Chapter 14: Crashing Into Gates Did Not Start Toda

Chapter 15: But first, to the United States of America we go

Chapter 16: Come and Let Us Be at Rest – Life in Calaba

Chapter 17: It was not always sweetness and light in Agege-vill

Chapter 18: You would have been the 4th chil

Chapter 19: Our Uncle and Auntie

Chapter 20: Let Your Love Be Wis

Chapter 21: My Many Fear

Chapter 22: We buried Bola toda

Chapter 23: A Word about Being Intentiona

Chapter 24: And with this I close…for no

Acknowledgement

You would not be holding this book in your hands:

If PapaGod did not connect me with Jennifer Nkem-Eneanya. I halted writing this book several times and the last time; I was sure I would not finish it. I just could not type out all the words. Many times, I would just shut down my laptop in tears. But the urge to honour Sholly and obey God pressed heavily on me so one day, I decided to just dictate what I had to share trusting God for a reliable person to transcribe. That person was Jennifer. I am not sure how to thank you enough. I just keep asking God to reward you for me.

If PapaGod did not connect me with Iyinoluwa Fageyinbo, now Onduru. There are portions in this book that I had no plan to include. One day, she sent me her book – Journey to Healing - having no clue why. God just told her to and as I read it, He spoke to me clearly: If you want to be healed, whole and 100% free, you need to do like Iyinoluwa. I wept because I totally understood what God was saying. So, trusting God’s loving cover, I obeyed. Iyinoluwa, thank you too, for obeying.

If PapaGod had not surrounded me with people, especially women who stood by me during my darkest moments right after Sholly passed on. I doubt I would be here publishing this book. I am confident that He used their genuine and consistent loving care to ensure that I did not lose my mind. Not everyone that smiles with you is your friend. I know this and that is why I am especially grateful for my Tribe. I pray that as each one reads this; her heart will bear witness with mine and know I speak of her. I hope she hears my voice whispering softly, ‘Sistren, I see you and I appreciate you with all my heart’.

To every single member of the Remembering Mrs. Gaska, My Aburochild Facebook page. As at today, there are 1905 of you. Thank you for being there these part three years and partnering with me to keep Sholly’s memory alive for good. I am deeply grateful and hope you stick around to see what else Sholly and I get up to.

To my immediate family – my MGM, Akan, Imaobong and Aniekan, thank you for all the ways you have contributed to who I am today. I love you all the same, differently and thank you for ‘managing’ me and coming to terms with my ‘extra-ness. Yes, some of what you read in this book might be tough to take in but such is Life: One big bag of all kinds of chocolates and to paraphrase Forrest Gump, you never know which one of them will make you cringe. But, to be totally fair, my bag has not been half bad. I would accept it again, and again. Why? Because it is the bag that had you, my ‘Reasons’ in it.

To my Publisher, Bidemi Mark-Mordi, thank you for ‘getting’ this book from Day 1. That day, when Audrey brought you to my event back in 2011? It was for this book. Not even for Salt Chronicles. We met for this book. I am not sure anyone else would have flowed so easily with my vision for this book. Thank you for the gift of you.

To you dear Reader, holding this book in your hands, God bless you. Thank you for investing your resources in this book. I pray you feel it was worth funds and time spent.

Salt Essien-Nelson

Foreword

Perhaps nothing focuses our attention more than death, and it is in remembering those who have passed that we become most alive. This is an ‘in memoriam’ to little sister Oluwashola and bosom friend Bola, recounting intersecting journeys, shared memories, occasional mischiefs, and tragedies in the gritty messiness of life.

Unvarnished candor and courage shine through in every page, particularly in detailing the struggles with personal anxieties, and later the joys and complications of family life as a child, sister, wife, and mother. Indeed: No family is perfect. It is an invitation To live fuller so we can die empty.

O’we, the distilled wisdom of the ancients, permeates this book. For instance, there is the imperative to insulate children from toxic conversations in a domestic setting, even when the language is coded. Also, because love is blind, she must be protected by wisdom. Then; That you are nothing if the sibling coming behind you has or is nothing. Not forgetting the practical guidance to set up prenuptial agreements for international and interracial marriages, and the imperative of being intentional in our daily lives.

Your revelation and handling of a traumatic experience in the final pages of this book was extremely distressing, and yet inspiring. Up to that point, I had become your virtual co-traveler and confidant in your relatable life’s journey, and suddenly this happened! Isn’t that life? At the end of it all, just like tempered steel, you emerged stronger and higher!

Life, death, and intentionality. The first two are given, the last one, straddling the two, is a choice. Perhaps that is what this book compels us to reflect on.

Thank you for the gift of this awesome book, and for the courage to tell your inspiring and uplifting story. Now I can start becoming intentional in the important areas of my life

Arinze Oduah

Senior Procurement Manager, RDS and Author, ‘An Ordinary Life’

Reviews

What Are People Saying About

‘Oluwashola: The Story of Us’?

Witty, Playful Story-Telling.. Power-Packed with Experiences

When Salt asked me to review this book, I didn’t know what to expect but what I got was awesome. The content took me on her journey, that was not only a narration of the ‘childhood and adulthood’ gaps for Shola but a release, healing and renewing for herself.

A book of remembrance, which has led to a confrontation of her inner fears and insecurities, in the paragraph, ‘My Many Fears’. The paragraph ‘Let your love be wise’ speaks her deep pain at what happened or didn’t happen to ‘Shola’ and I know writing about this, has brought some form of closure to questions. Shola, wherever she is, will be glad of this because coming to terms with unanswered questions brings forth the energy of peace and tranquility to the soul.

Through this narration, I see Salt becoming whole again. The witty and playful story telling way she narrated the happenings kept me bound to know ‘what next’. A little book, power packed with experiences over four decades of her life, which shows the power of healing that God has in our lives.

Oluwashola, the Story of Us, has been written straight from the heart in a fluid manner devoid of ‘heavy’ words and gives invaluable advice to everyone reading it – from coming to terms with one’s past, to letting parents know that the five senses of a child are quite horned from an early age – and the need for people to be wise

- Laila St. Matthew-Daniel (Angel Mama)

Lighted-hearted book; makes one laugh, cry

Sometimes, just telling our story facilitates the process of the healing of our minds and not just ours but for others who may also need healing in their minds. ‘Oluwashola: The Story of Us’ is a light-hearted book which makes one laugh, cry and feel the need to cherish moments with those in our lives.

Enjoy and be blessed as you read

- Bemigho Omayuku

Forged