Rajan’s Random Reflections

By R.V. Rajan

This book contains the second collection of the author’s essays published in Adyar Times under his column ‘Rajan’s Random Reflections’ and also essays published in other periodicals. It includes a section devoted to the author’s tribute to a few well known personalities and friends. There are a few articles based on the author’s travels in the last section.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Pustaka Digital Media
• Release date: Dec 21, 2021
• ISBN: 6580550707852

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Table Of Contents

Preface

Rajan’s Random Reflections From Adyar Times

Rajan’s Random Reflections From Other Periodicals

TRIBUTES

TRAVELS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Preface

My first attempt at creative writing began post retirement with my autobiography, which was published in 2009. Encouraged by the feedback I got for the book, I started writing on a variety of topics and posting them on my blog. I also sent them to a few Chennai-based periodicals. My first article titled Ubiquitous Velaikkari appeared in the April 2011 issue of Eves Touch, a monthly with veteran journalist Mr. S. Muthiah as a consultant editor. Later, an article titled Lord’s Abode - 106 Plus 2 based on my trip to Divya Desams appeared in the Open Page section of The Hindu in June 2011, for which I received an overwhelming response.

Since then my articles have appeared in a number of periodicals which include The Hindu, Times of India, The New Indian Express, Madras Musings, Dignity Dialogue, Infinithoughts, Anglos in the Wind, Rotary News, Rind Survey and Vidhura

My dream of becoming a regular columnist became a reality when Mr. S.P.Ambrose, the founder of Adyar Times, thought it fit to give me an opportunity to write a regular column in AT a weekly publication popular in South Madras. My first article under my column Rajan’s Random Reflections appeared in the 11th October, 2015 issue of this weekly. With the publication of my article titled Parent Allergy in Adyar Times recently, I crossed a milestone of 50 articles appearing under my column. I had already crossed the milestone of 200 articles published in various periodicals with A Biography that became an Autobiography in the Madras Musings issue dated 16-30 June, 2018.

I thought it is time to bring out my second book containing my published articles. The first one titled This & That… Then & Now was published in 2014. This book is the second in this genre and the ninth in the list of books I have published so far, covering six genres of writing.

I am happy that taking up writing as a hobby post retirement has worked well for me. God willing, I hope to cross some more milestones as a writer and am looking forward to publishing my first novel by next year. I believe age is no barrier for having dreams!

Happy Reading!

R.V. Rajan

Feedback welcome on [e-mail]

Mob: [phone]

Rajan’s Random Reflections From Adyar Times

Table Of Contents

ARRANGED LOVE MARRIAGES

BABY - SITTING ONLINE

BEACH FRIENDS

BOOK FAIRS AND LITERARY FESTIVALS

CALL DRIVERS

COOKING - AN ESSENTIAL LIFE - SKILL

COOLIES

ARE WE ALL CORRUPT?

DON’T GO FOR A WALK ON A CYCLE!

DOWN ‘HAIRY’ LANE

IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN MAKE IT

EAT SHAMELESSLY!

ETERNAL OPTIMIST

FANTASIES

FREELOADERS

FRIENDS IN OLD AGE

GOOD HABITS AND A DISCIPLINED LIFE

HYPOCHONDRIACS

INDIAN STANDARD TIME

KLEPTOMANIACS

LIVE FOR A HUNDRED YEARS!

MEMORY HOOKS

MISSING CHAPPALS

INVOLUNTARY HABITS AND STAMMERING

NETWORKING

NIT - PICKERS

NUCLEAR FAMILIES

ONLINE SHOPPING

PARENT ALLERGY

PASSION AS AN OCCUPATION

PESSIMISTS

PETRIFIED BY PETS

PHENOMENON OF TWINS

PHOTOGRAPHY AS A HOBBY

SECURITY SYSTEMS

SIBLINGS - A BLESSING!

SIMPLE SOLUTIONS TO CHRONIC PROBLEMS

SINGLE PARENTS

IT’S A SMALL WORLD

OVER - SMART PHONES

A SPORTS CARNIVAL WITH A DIFFERENCE!

CELEBRATING A NEW LEASE OF LIFE

THE CORNER ANNACHCHI KADAI

THE VIRTUAL WORLD

THE WORLD IN YOUR PALM

TYPING – AN ESSENTIAL LIFE-SKILL

WEDDING GIFTS

WHAT’S IN A NAME?

WRISTWATCHES AND BODY CLOCKS

ARRANGED LOVE MARRIAGES

Bharat Matrimony airs a commercial promoting one of its services as Assisted Matrimony. It is a personalised matchmaking service where the Relationship Manager of the service provider first understands the expectations of the prospective bride/groom. Then using superior technology combined with expertise in the field not only searches and sends the most suitable profiles to the registered parties but also manages responses. He also helps parties to get married in an easy and convenient way.

The commercial set me thinking about the most discussed topic of ‘arranged vs. love marriages – which works better in life?’

A random survey in India is certain to show that arranged marriages are still more popular among boys and girls – most prefer to play it safe and leave it to their parents to help them find a spouse. It is another matter that the number of conditions that they impose these days makes it a nightmare for parents to find the right match for their sons or daughters. Fed up with the situation, many parents even urge their children to find their own partners. I know of a friend who told his daughter: Religion, caste, creed, no bar - just get married!

In the earlier days, the men had a choice of girls who were paraded in front of them at innumerable ‘bride-seeing’ ceremonies. Very often, after partaking of the delicious ‘sojjis and bajjis’ dished out by the girls’ families, they rejected the girls on flimsy grounds. Today the empowered and independent girls have equal say in the exercise, and very often reject the boys on equally flimsy grounds. Because of this, the number of eligible boys and girls who do not get married is also growing!

The major difference between the arranged marriages of yore and now is that the family’s role stops after they do a ‘due diligence’ on the potential spouse and his/her family and connect the couple. No more ‘sojji and bajji’ meetings.

Once the connection is established between the boy and the girl it is for them to take the final call. They are given permission to talk and meet each other as often as they want. If the distance between the locations of the boy and girl prevents them from meeting often, they use technology to get to know each other better through the ‘Net or mobile phone. It can take a few months before the boy and girl agree to tie the proverbial knot binding them for life. If both the boy and girl are living abroad, it is not unusual for them to be ‘live in partners’ for some time to find out their compatibility! During this long gestation period, many couples may even fall in love and agree to marry. And I call such an event an ‘arranged love marriage.’

In our days, we started falling in love with our spouses only after marriage. And the bond between the husband and wife grew stronger over the years, cemented by a deep commitment from both to make the marriage work – making tremendous adjustments and compromises in the process!

On the other hand, many of the love marriages conducted without the family’s blessings, fall apart when the boys and girls, who were on cloud nine during the process of falling in love face the realities of life. They discover to their dismay that their loving partners behave quite differently after marriage as compared to how they did earlier. They are unwilling to make any adjustments, so crucial for a successful marriage. Without the family support system to help them tide over their conflicts, very often such love marriages fail. It is another matter that even some arranged marriages which are conducted in a hurry fail because the couple discover many incompatibilities after marriage.

It is in this context and taking into account the realities of modern life that the concept of arranged love marriages is likely to work better than pure love marriages or marriages arranged in a hurry.

BABY - SITTING ONLINE

Thanks to technology, the world seems to have shrunk. Distance is no more a barrier to reach out to our near and dear ones living in faraway lands. I saw this phenomenon in evidence when I went to spend a couple of days with my brother in Hyderabad.

Like many parents of Non Resident Indians, my brother and his wife keep their Tablet in the On mode in the evenings, awaiting a call from their daughter living in New York. As soon as they hear the ring they run to the gadget to see their daughter and their 18-month-old granddaughter on the screen, ready for a chat. Their grandchild showing off the new words she has picked up or a new game she has learnt to play, prompted by her mother, provides them endless delight.

Suddenly, the child becomes cranky and starts crying. The grandparents try to divert her attention with a new trick. Their daughter says, I think she is hungry, continue to play with her, I will be back in five minutes, and heads for the kitchen to get some food for the baby. While mother is busy in the kitchen, the baby is kept engaged by the grandparents. This happened several times during the 60 minutes that the grandparents were on Skype and almost every evening the show was repeated!

Their Ohs and Aahs and clapping of hands in excitement indicate that they are having a ball, temporarily forgetting all the pains and aches which are their constant companions otherwise. It is almost as good as spending real time with their grandchild.

I thought this is a classic example of ‘Baby - sitting Online’ - a far cry from the days when parents had to wait for their NRI children to visit India or for a chance to go abroad themselves to play with their grandchildren. I know of many old parents who have stopped feeling lonely because of this option of being able to communicate with their children living abroad on a daily basis.

Skype (or Google Hangout) has other advantages too! Many creative artistes are exploring ways of earning extra bucks through this virtual teaching method. Also, it is not unusual for boys and girls to get to know each other through this wonderful medium before they agree to a marriage proposal.

Similarly, if a near and dear one living abroad is unable to attend a marriage or other important functions back at home – no problem. He or she can watch the event live online thanks to technology.

I understand that you can now use your mobile phones to transmit visuals and sound bites of interesting places you see on a holiday in real time to your folks back home through mobile-to-mobile streaming. Mobile phones are revolutionising the way we communicate with people. And with the growing popularity of WhatsApp, it is now possible to chat with people on a minute to minute basis using texts and also share interesting videos and photos with friends. And if you want to connect with your teenaged children, don’t try to call them (because they will not pick up the phone) but send a message on WhatsApp and you will get an instant replay!

BEACH FRIENDS

There is a world of difference between ‘Train friends’ and ‘Beach friends’. On trains we become very friendly with fellow passengers in no time. And we have no hesitation in exchanging our respective life stories with them in the short time that we are together. We invariably find some remote connection and feel happy that we have become so close. At the end of the journey, after much hand shaking and hugging, we promise to keep in touch with each other. That never happens. Because we forget the ‘Train friends’ the moment we get down from the train.

On the other hand, ‘Beach friends’ who are friends you make while on a walk every morning on the beach front or wherever you go for regular walks require more time to cultivate. If you are a regular at a particular spot every morning/evening you meet people whose faces become familiar to you. Over a period of time you try to express recognition with a tentative smile. If the person responds, you wish him Good morning the next time you pass him/her. Good morning becomes Hi! in course of time. You still don’t know the person you are wishing. Until you find the stranger talking to a common friend. When you stop to have a word with your friend, he/she introduces the stranger to you. For the first time you shake hands with the stranger who now has a name. Talking to the new friend you invariably find some common interests or connections. You feel you have come closer to the stranger-turned-friend. The next time your paths cross you stop and exchange a few words. This could lead to exchanging details of social media you are active in - such as WhatsApp. The beginning of an enduring friendship is thus established, leading to meeting on other occasions. The bond becomes so strong that if you don’t see the familiar face for a few days during your morning walks, you miss the person.

While youngsters who come for walks have to rush back because they have a busy day ahead, there are no such pressures on senior citizens. After their morning walks, some of them end up at a spot where a few friends are resting on the parapet wall or a bench in a garden.

It could be a small group. Or a bigger group - like the one I am associated with, consisting of people who are in their seventies or eighties. It is a mix of retired professionals from the private/public sector, bureaucrats and even educators. Every morning, the group meets at a fixed time – exchanging the latest gossip in town or views on the political situation or a few jokes - some among the group specialize in ‘non-vegetarian jokes’! Jokes at the expense of some members are not uncommon. You can judge from the boisterous laughter emanating from the group from time to time that everyone is having fun. I make it a point to spend 10 minutes with this group every morning and indulge in some full-throated laughter, considered good for the mind and body. After all, laughter keeps the doctor and the blues away!

Thanks to old age and poor memory, I still don’t know the names of a few friends whom I meet every day. I think it doesn’t matter because we enjoy each other’s company and look forward to meeting every day. What’s in a name, after all!

BOOK FAIRS AND LITERARY FESTIVALS

Anews item in a daily quoted the President of the South India Publishers’ Association saying that 80% of the visitors to a recent book fair held in Chennai were youth. According to the report, 60% of the annual sales of small publishers come from such fairs. No wonder that such fairs are becoming popular even in smaller towns in India.

In the last few months I have attended Literary Festivals in Bangalore and Chennai. I was pleasantly surprised to see the huge turnout of visitors, consisting mainly of youngsters in the 18-35 age group. A large number of them attended the three parallel sessions being held at the fairs. During the breaks there were long queues of youngsters waiting for their favourite authors to autograph copies of their books.

I wondered what triggered this great enthusiasm among the youth for books, disproving the theory that the reading habit is on the decline among the younger generation. I am inclined to give credit for this to Mrs. Rowling and her Harry Potter series of Fantasy fiction and our own banker-turned-author and youth icon Chetan Bhagat. Chetan has literally rewritten the way the publishing industry has been functioning in India. For a long time, a book was considered a big success if it sold 5000 to 10000 copies. But today new age authors like Chetan, Amish Tripathi, Ashwin Sanghi, etc. are claiming sales of lakhs of copies for each of their books. It is interesting to learn that all the famous authors of today had their first manuscripts rejected by several publishers and had to resort to self-publishing their first book and marketing them using innovative strategies. Listening to many of these successful authors at Literary Festivals, it is clear that if an author wants to be on the best seller list he has to market his book ‘shamelessly’. It is imperative that such authors must be active on social media. Self-publishing and Print–on-demand have brought about a sea change in the publishing industry.

Another reason for the huge sale of books is the facility to order the books online and get them delivered at your doorstep, very often at a discounted price! Amazon and Flipkart have been hugely responsible for this phenomenon and are very popular with the young generation who order everything from pin to elephant, including books, online.

No wonder that the number of Indian authors is growing by leaps and bounds. People from diverse fields, including school students, are trying their hand at writing. Recently I attended a function organized by TIE in Chennai at which books of nine first-time authors were released. They had participated in a Book Authoring workshop conducted by Kirubha Shanker considered the Czar of social media. The successful authors who had accepted the 100-day challenge of Kirubha included an eight-year-old girl and a 12-year-old boy. I was also happy to note that 80% of the audience at the function were youngsters who were keen to participate in such workshops.

Book Fairs, Literary Festivals and book authoring workshops are surely encouraging the youngsters to take to reading and writing seriously. What does it matter if they read books on