Unique Loner: Journaling My Life

By Lona Marie

A life of confusion, abuse and trauma told through poetry and journaling of thoughts. A life that started with the darkness of abandonment, abuse and tragedy, finally found it's way to light, fulfillment and forgiveness. Life is what we make it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Nov 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982292584

Book preview

Copyright © 2021 Lona Marie.

Interior Artwork by the author’s daughter Tekima Wiland aka Miss Kima Creations.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical,

including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written

permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

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since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do

not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-9257-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-9258-4 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 11/29/2021

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CONTENTS

Preface

Loner... Loaner... Lona

Why Now

1966

Her Life

First Family

Confusion

A Wedding

Family

Sisterhood

Childhood

Hair

Pets

Orphans

Stepmother

Babies

A Mother

Colours

Trouble

Runaway

Luna Park

New Life

Lies

Weapons,

The Stock Whip

The Tennis Racquet

The Law

Pain

Sister

Suicide

Make It Stop

Sleep

Being Good

Time

That Man

Man In My House

Why Me

Unknown

Abusers

Monsters

Boys

What’s Your Vice

Innocence

Always Rising

Jigsaw Puzzle

Feelings

High School

Sibling Pecking Order

First Love

Married Young

First Time

Mr Johnson

Man Of My Dreams

Second Time

Friends

Words

Daughter

Precious

Babies

Tekima

Ryszard

Psychology

University

Golf Clubs

Heartbreak

Divorce

Rebuild

The Moment

Third Time Lucky

My Husband

No Matter What

Jobs

Calum

Blended Family

Love

Consequences

Cobra

Context

Static

Kindness

Story

Money/Wealth

Who Am I

Wishes

Wealth

Light

Tired

Lies

Rugs

Paintings

Guilt

Secrets

Be Happy

A Family

Hurt

Sorry

Jacaranda

Now

Love You

Gentle

Beauty

Lost

The Peacock

Anniversary

2020/2021

The Dark And Twisted Journey Of Being This Loner...

My Wish

My Self Talk

A Moment

Menopause

Aussie Car

A New Day

Publishing

Judgement

A Gentleman

Grief

Chameleon

Loner

50 Years Of Marriage

On The Road

Empty

Poems

Us

Happiness

Priscilla 101

Old Words

Valentine

Me

Ordinary

Once Loved

Siblings

The Book

Justice

Cigarettes

What If….

Not My Cup Of Tea

Daydream Child

Untitled

White Wedding

Meditation

A Song

A Picture

Taste

To Feel

Stars

Positivity

My Hands

Change

So Many Words

Seasons

Old Man

My Best Friend

My Siblings

Law Of Attraction

My Worth

A New Day

Self

My World

Growing

My Love

The Mask

Forty Years Plus

Loss

Sorrow

Homecoming

Benchmark

Gems

Nature

Forgiving You

Affirmations

My Thoughts Of The Day

Dark

Sad News

Passing

Fear

Today

THE FAMILY POEMS

Mummy

Tony

Tricki & Day

Dannielle

Nicole

Danni

Sammy

Nic And Adam

Dan & Lee

Don

Hope

Nana & Pa

Brian

Stephie

Lisa

Poppy

Margaret

Jenelle

Allan

Kerry

Andrew

Five Little Cherubs

Four

Two Sisters

Brother

Little Sister

Sister Three

Another Sister

Grandmother

Grandfather

Marilyn

Lynnette

Neil

The Clan

Umbrella%20Painting.jpg

PREFACE

This journey started with years of writing in journals, as a way to release the torment I had created for myself. I say created for myself because whilst I was a victim of abuse and experienced trauma as a child, I did not work through my grief, trauma, or incessant negative mind tapes in a healing way. I did what most victims do, lived in denial. When I finally reached out to begin a journey of healing I became a survivor, coping in ways to manage daily existence. The process was long, and many relationships were lost along the way. I held myself to a high standard in an attempt to be perfect. Those who’ve experienced this will know it’s a recipe for disaster. My counsellor asked me why I considered myself like ‘GOD’. This was a shock to me since I saw myself as nowhere near the image of GOD, or what a child of earth should be. My counsellor asked, "Why is it that everyone you meet and everyone you love can make a mistake, fall down and it’s okay, yet you cannot make a mistake. You, according to your standards, must be better. You seem to expect to be as GOD is. This was my first therapy session. She suggested I write my thoughts and feelings down to express the chaos and fears I had bubbling under the surface. I have spent most of my life smiling and being ever so nice, understanding and pleasing. In whatever way I could, I would try and keep the status quo. Yet at the same time I always found myself feeling overwhelmed and hiding my frustrations and any anger. I consider myself a Chameleon", blending to my surroundings and moving on when the time seems to warrant. For over forty years I have wanted to write my story. I decided a few years ago I would finally get to putting words to a page. Not just rambling in my journals but write a BOOK. In this process, and in trying to find my creative side of writing a sentence, I found words popping into my head. I just wrote down everything that came in my mind. Before long I had pages and pages of Poems. Yet the book or story was taking forever to get just right.