GoldenHeart: How to Love Humanity

By Christina Goebel

GoldenHeart How to Love Humanity is an inspiration manual for how people love.

This self-help book provides strategies for you to love yourself, others, and the world. You will explore the reasons for beliefs that foster self-hatred, discouragement, and deserted dreams.

Through fun self-quizzes and activitie

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christina Goebel
• Release date: Dec 18, 2017
• ISBN: 9780692046555

Christina Goebel

Christina Goebel, M.A., is a former middle and high school English teacher and disability conference planner, and a lifelong human rights advocate. She has studied how to love humanity her whole life, which is her family's legacy. Through studying and teaching the Bible, she learned humanity's greatest legacy-to mirror God's love in thought and action. During some of the darkest days of her life, she wrote this book to light yours. Christina earned a master's in Journalism from the University of Texas at Austin, a bachelor's in Secondary English Education from Florida International University in Miami, and an associate's in World Literature from Miami-Dade Community College Wolfson Campus. She taught English in grades 6-12 in Florida and Texas, and later coordinated the Texas Statewide Independent Living Conference, an ability conference.

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GoldenHeart How to Love Humanity by Christina Goebel. Edited by Monica Hoffpauir. Published by Christina Goebel, Livingston, Texas, www.lovegoldenheart.com.

© 2017 by Christina Goebel

All rights reserved. This book or its parts may not be reproduced, stored in retrieval systems, or transmitted in any form by electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of Fair Use quotations embodied in reviews, and as provided by United States copyright law. For permissions or requests, including public appearances, write to the publisher, at the address below.

[e-mail], www.lovegoldenheart.com

For information about special discounts available for bulk purchases, sales promotions, fund-raising and educational needs, contact [e-mail].

Printed in the U.S.A.

Visit the author’s website at www.lovegoldenheart.com.

This manuscript and its content are for educational purposes and do not take the place of advice from medical professionals. We have made every effort to ensure this manuscript’s content is accurate and helpful for readers at publishing time. However, this is not a complete treatment of any subjects. Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for losses or damages due to the information provided. You are responsible for your choices, actions, and the consequences. Consult a trained medical professional for your specific healthcare needs.

Published by Christina Goebel, Livingston, Texas

Edited by Monica Hoffpauir, linkedin.com/in/monica-hoffpauir

Cover Art by Kristine Biegel, linkedin.com/in/kristine-biegel

Cover Art © 2017 Christina Goebel. All rights reserved.

Goebel, Christina, 2017 – GoldenHeart How to Love Humanity

ISBN-13: 978-0-692-99175-6

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

1. Self-improvement

First Edition

Contents

1How can I drastically improve my life?

2How do I destroy my labels and learn who I am?

3How I can make myself a better person?

4How can I replace my anger with love?

5What strategies can I use to reduce anger?

6How to Love Others . . . Better

7Observe Others

8Observations to Actions

9Astound Yourself: Groups You Can Help

10Encouraging Others

11To Create Character

12Love Animals Too: Develop Strength Through Loving Animals

13The Fellowship of the GoldenHeart

Appendix I: GoldenHEART Bible Study

1.See the Light

2.Letting Your Light Shine

3.From Dull to Shine

4.From Lions to Lambs

5.When Grass and Gold Fade . . .

6.The Present We Should Give

7.Hidden Treasure

8.From Bitter Buds to Fragrant Flowers 

9.The Face in the Mirror 

10.Iron Will 

11.Become a Role Model 

12.Everything that Breathes 

13.A Better Country

14.A Golden Memory

Appendix II: GoldenHEART Self-Quizzes

GoldenHEART Dedication

To YOU for reading GoldenHeart and wanting to love the world.

Thank you, God, for saving me with this book and turning pain into beauty.

To Mom, the first GoldenHeart I met. Your perpetual love for the world made this book possible. You are and will always be a nice person.

To my family, friends, fellow churchgoers, and former public school and Bible study students, who helped make me love humanity more.

I lost my father and grandmothers mentioned here in 2012, and miss them dearly. They live in GoldenHeart and will meet me in Heaven, God willing.

To Gerald, for letting me share our story to help others, not complaining about the hours I spent writing, and for being a great Doggie Daddy.

To Alexi, whose name titled the first draft of GoldenHeart, and who knows I am not perfect, just forgiven, but that I love him and the world deeply.

To Heather, because one friend like you is worth one thousand.

To our dogs Rex (and Gypsy), now deceased, and Max, who will live here forever.

To my wonderful social media followers. @lovegoldenheart’s Twitter followers are the kindest people! Join us!

To the people across America who have shown us love at hotels, RV campgrounds, and at disability conferences.

To Rosa Santiago and the other writers and poets who believed in me.

To the worldwide community of humanitarians and protectors of our planet who join us in working toward a better existence for everyone.

We must be the change we wish to see in the world.

Gandhi

Key concepts from this chapter

You can become what you want from the world.

There is no change so great that we can’t aspire to it.

Our dog, Max Baron, is dying. He is also teaching us how to love better and grow in kindness.

Most people don’t see this situation as creating opportunities for growth and beauty. We must change our thinking to aspire to become more than what we are. As we begin to examine how to love yourself more, and later how to better love others, you will see that our growth leads us to greater passion for ourselves and others.

There is no change so great that we can’t aspire to it.

Max, our German Shepherd, has a degenerative spinal disease, a type that takes the body and leaves his mind intact. It dissolves the protective barrier around the spine and causes problems over time. There’s no cure, and the prognosis is six months to two years. A year and five months have passed, and both of his hind legs have some paralysis. Vets say he’s not in pain.

His name is Max.

In June 2016, Max limped with his front leg enough for us to take him to the vet. His left hind paw’s nails were worn down. His front legs were fine, but one of his hind legs was in the beginning stages of paralysis. His front leg was showing the effort of taking on the extra weight for the back leg.

By December 2016, a little over six months later, we ordered a dog wheelchair, also known as a dog cart.

Dogs with his condition, Degenerative Myelopathy, usually lose the use of one leg, then the other, and later the disease impacts internal organs from the middle of the spine down toward the tail. In the end stages, the condition may move upward, and they may later have trouble swallowing or breathing. Their end usually comes with organ failure, or when the quality of life is no longer acceptable to the owners or the dog, and it is one of the few situations where euthanasia is almost a given.

Right now, we accept where Max is at, how he feels, and that he wants to be here, still playing ball and frisbee, although seated, taking walks with the use of his dog cart, enjoying great food and stuffed animal pet shows.

Max needs help getting into the wheelchair, which we do by wrapping a towel around his hips to support him while we hook him up. Before the wheelchair, we used a towel to help him while walking.

We travel to different places in a motorhome and Max is our Road Dog. While we’re too young for retirement, I guess it’s Max’s. I knew before we started traveling to and from Texas that our trips were more important to him than us because these are his final destinations.

Max has gone up Pike’s Peak by car and has walked around the summit. He has also traveled to the summit of Mt. Evans too (both are 14,000 feet-plus mountains). He’s walked along beaches (he hates sand and treats it as if it’s an insect) and lakes, in front of the Grand Tetons, as well as near horses, cows, and donkeys. He’s walked upon snow, which he loves and eats, even from his wheelchair! He has a beautiful life. He meets new dogs and people and loves to explore campgrounds.

Our acts of service for Max make us better people. It started with helping him walk. Then, he couldn’t get out of the RV alone, so my husband picked up our eighty-five-pound German Shepherd and carried him in and out of the RV, several times a day.

Now, Max weighs around seventy-five pounds, so it’s easier to lift him, but there’s more work to do. My husband, Gerald, never shirks this responsibility. He loves Max dearly and cares for him with compassion.

I watch Gerald care for Max daily, tirelessly, and it makes me pause. I observe greatness in his careful treatment of Max. I see love when he picks Max up and carries him down the stairs. When Max gets back inside, he watches Gerald all day long, his eyes intent and tender. Gerald is the love of Max’s life, and it’s beautiful.

When we went to a kill shelter to consider adopting Max, Gerald walked up to Max’s cage. Max, a predominately black German Shepherd, leaped up and wrapped his paws around Gerald’s neck and licked the side of his face. I want him, I love him, I’m going to keep him, Gerald said as he turned to me. It was love.

When we walk Max with his wheelchair now, people ask about him. Gerald says, Why would we put him down? I don’t want to be put down if my legs stop working.

Because of his disease, which was verified by a DNA test since it’s a genetic condition, Max needs to eat better food and to have less salt and artificial ingredients. Before, we cooked chicken, vegetables, and rice for him every three days and divided it into portions. When Max couldn’t tolerate the vegetables or rice anymore, we changed it to chicken and potatoes, and we feed him three times a day. This diet helps his digestion and lessens paralysis symptoms.

While I was writing this introduction, Max tried to stand up.

Gerald, not knowing why, assisted him with a towel, and Max ran straight to me. He was scared. His legs were acting funny and spasming. When that happens, I put a drop of lavender essential oil on them, and that stops the spasms.

I put the lavender on him today and wrapped my arms around Max and held him. Those are my best moments when I’m not worried about myself, but caring for or loving someone else. In the past, I tried to distance myself from dogs after the loss of my first German Shepherd. There’s been a wall, but after a succession of dogs, and now Max, I can’t withhold my feelings. The way he trusts us and counts on us is like a child would, and he is family.

Despite how rewarding it feels to share love with others, it’s often an effort for me. I can be selfish, lazy, and preoccupied. Then, I remember the consequences of loving others, and it prompts me to do those awesome things which require work. Love is such a contradiction: it’s natural and unnatural. We run to it, and we run away from it. We’re proud to show it, yet are sometimes ashamed.

Some of the most defining moments of my life were when I ran to love.

This book is about helping you find your moments, the ways you can love humanity, animals, and the world. It’s about helping you find your GoldenHeart when you fill your heart to capacity like the Grinch who stole Christmas, and what was once dusty and dim shines with loving glory. Despite any fears you may have about your ability to love like that, know that you only need to try.

We have a lot to learn to reach that point, but I am running toward you now, to share secrets that have saved and nourished me in my darkest days. Oh yes, writing this book saved my life and I believe that happened so that I can share this with you.

Who are you? our psychology professor asked us. He called on the guy sitting next to me first.

I’m a worker and husband, the adult, male student replied.

Wrong answer. The professor wanted us to tell him who we are inside, not our roles in society. I was surprised by my peer’s response, but the professor wasn’t.

While I can’t remember our professor’s exact words, he said that if we define ourselves by our jobs or what we are to others, then when those roles end, so do our identities, causing an identity crisis. For example, if you think of yourself as a worker and then you’re laid off, you don’t just lose your job, but your identity disappears with it.

If you think of yourself as a wife or husband, or as a mother or father, then if you divorce, or when your children leave home, you must redefine yourself. If you think of yourself as a worker, what happens when your job ends, and you enter retirement? Who are you then?

People have a hard time with change, so recreating an identity is difficult.

Most of us aren’t aware of the profound importance of our thoughts about who we are. But I know who you are because you picked out this book. You are a kind person at heart—someone who wants to make the world a better place because right now, it is probably at times a cold, lonely, and barren place for you and you want something better—and because of who you are, the world will be a better place.

You can become what you want from the world. Are you frightened when world leaders discuss violent tactics? Does it disgust you when natural disasters hit, and communities are not prepared? Do you worry about how we will solve homelessness, joblessness, bullying, and poverty? Sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking that things besides being nice are essential, but kindness is beauty, and through it, we love humanity, animals, and our world. Compassion is love.

The song I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner always gets to me because we want people to show us how wonderful love can be—but we are the ones who need to do the showing.¹ We are the ones who must earn our GoldenHearts. The whole world in their hearts sings I Want to Know What Love Is—and they sing it to you, for you to show them.

Our living example is what makes others love us—or not.

We challenge ourselves to eat well, exercise, get organized, clean house, dress well, use the right face and body care, etc., so now let’s do something more significant. During the process, you will love and accept yourself more, and you should. You will learn how to love better. In response, people will feel more about you.

First, let’s challenge assumptions society has taught us that aren’t helpful for our challenge to embrace love.

The first of those assumptions is about anger.

Take on Your Anger

I hope you’re angry at the world and disappointed. If you’ve suffered, then you don’t wish the same thing upon others. If you’ve had a miserable past, then you foresee the anguish and pain others will endure if they take the same steps. And you can stop it.

You can prevent the causes that, without your involvement, will torment someone else with the same pain, anguish, fear, frustration, anger, hopelessness and depression you’ve experienced. You can begin your GoldenHeart journey.

To do this, you must take on your anger. Whatever it is that makes you furious because it happens to people, that is what you have the experience to attack. Instead of venting at people, use it to bolster your energy. Anger provides you with power, and you can take it like a harness and shake it, command it to go somewhere, and make that voltage work for you!

You probably have anger because you’ve suffered. Yes, there IS a purpose in suffering. It draws us nearer to others in our misery and to others when they hurt. Without it, we could sit in our houses all day and not cherish one beautiful, loving thought for another.

When someone is weak, they attract us, and we reach out; otherwise, we think they don’t need us and move on to our next project.

When we worry about others, we discover one of our primary purposes for existing: to make the world a better place before we leave it. Hopefully, you’ve heard this expression, since it’s the one that we need to make come true.

Taking Action

Worry wouldn’t qualify as one of Martha Stewart’s good things.

Our intentions are useless to others unless we act. You’ll find little satisfaction in thinking about visiting a friend, co-worker, or family member in the hospital. You should visit them.

One of my former co-workers at a school, a security guard, got seriously hurt during a chase. He was in the hospital, and, though he’d return home soon, they said he’d take years to recover from several broken bones.

When I received the e-mail telling me about his situation, I had three choices: one, visit him. Two, worry about him. Three, forget him. Most decent people think they’re too busy to go and so they continue thinking about them for days or weeks.

I determined to visit because I knew everyone was too busy since I was too busy. I couldn’t bear the thought of that security guard in the hospital alone, so I called Gerald, my husband, who didn’t sound ecstatic about an after-work hospital detour. He didn’t say, What joy! To give him credit, he wasn’t against it.

If I’d chosen to worry, that would’ve been my reward, pointless worrying. What follows is what I gained, instead.

My former co-worker was situated in a small hospital room. One security guard sat next to him. Several more stood around his bed. My co-worker lifted his eyebrows in surprise. No one from the school was there. We were all too busy, remember?

I signed a guestbook that one of the security guards had brought and left some candy for the patient and visitors to enjoy. While the security guard told us about his injuries, I saw the fear in his eyes, and I knew what he needed. Hope.

When you’re a security guard, you’ve got to be mobile. These are active people, like soldiers. When they’re down, they feel useless and fearful about holding onto their careers. What will they do if they can’t be a security guard?

When anyone is in a hospital with injuries, it’s depressing. Lonely. Strange. You might have nurses and doctors with a stellar bedside manner; then again, you might not. The most profound gift I could give was to say a prayer for him for healing. You might not be religious, and that’s fine because you can change your mind whenever you want.

In fact, I was concerned about asking him if I could pray for him. What if he didn’t believe? What if I offended him, or the security guards around him? I asked if we could pray for him, and he agreed.

I turned to the other security guards and said that I’d heard that if many people gathered and prayed over and placed their hands on someone, then the prayer would be stronger, so they were welcome to put their hands on this dear man while I prayed. I expected they wouldn’t. The other security guards all quickly placed their hands on him, and we said a prayer for his recovery. When I finished, tears were in his eyes.

Did I tell you that I’d barely said a few sentences to this man in the years we’d known each other? I can imagine his surprise, not just at my caring, but at the love pouring from his brethren. We had laid our hands on him. That must have felt spectacular. I was blessed to see how much they loved him.

I went planning my action, but it was a catalyst, and it caused other reactions. Had I not gone, would this security guard have seen the care of his peers? Would he have known they cared enough to place their hands on him and pray? If I had failed to act, what were the consequences?

As it was, everyone was happy. We felt great helping someone, and my co-worker learned that we loved him like we’re supposed to do. Oh, what joy!

Would you spare yourself the treasure of seeing someone’s tears of thankfulness? Would you rather never see tears of joy? Would you miss someone thanking you so many times that you feel guilty? Please don’t deprive yourself of these things. Don’t regret a lifetime of lost experiences, where you could have reached out and touched someone’s life forever.

The memory of life-changing kindnesses performed for others is a candle lit in the empty darkness of your mind. Were you to meditate the kindnesses you’ve given others, wouldn’t it be brilliant to see rows of flickering candles, burning endlessly, each kind act a new candle? One step at a time, you light the candles in your mind. Over days, weeks, months, and years, the candles form a burning bonfire—a testimony to the great love of your actions. If darkness surrounds you, your kindnesses light your life.

You, in little things and tiny steps, can become a humanitarian giant, a lover of humanity. GREATNESS IS A SMALL STEP TAKEN MANY TIMES. We rarely earn greatness all at once, but through our combined small efforts to love others.

Why should I show compassion for others? That reminds me of a children’s story, The Little Red Hen.² The Little Red Hen baked bread and asked for other animals to help her throughout the laborious process. No one helped her prepare the dough, so when she finished cooking it, she ate it all by herself.

How can we expect kindness if we don’t give it? That’s the flip side of The Little Red Hen many teachers don’t cover. Why didn’t anyone want to help her? Probably, she hadn’t done much for anyone else, either!

Often, like the animals who ignored the Little Red Hen when she asked for help, we don’t see the whole picture; our troubles and worries absorb us. We don’t reach out and help, but when the bread’s baked, we want some.

Life is a giant recipe. You don’t know what everyone’s cooking, but you’ll want to eat when dinner’s ready! Before people ask you for help, offer it. Utilize the ingredients and labor you possess in life’s great kitchen. Unlike where you cook at home, though, life’s kitchen is boundless. Too many cooks don’t spoil the stew—the more cooks, the better!

Passing By

Have you heard the words to Bob Dylan’s famous song, Blowin’ in the Wind before? ³ It asks how much needs to happen before a man can hear people crying or see what’s happening to others. In my interpretation, Dylan doesn’t tell us what’s blowing in the wind because he leaves it to us to interpret.

People suffer alone when we aren’t listening or looking out for suffering, so we should pay attention to it when we see it—and address that condition.

How many times can we ignore people who need us? If the answer’s in the wind, that doesn’t sound like a solution; it’s the silence of indifference. We can only pass so many people who are homeless, struggling elders, innocent children in jeopardy, starving people who are poor, and sick or suffering co-workers and family members before