Football Kills: A Short Story

By Dean Shearer

Lewis Culbridge is sick and tired of unpacking boxes and moving furniture around.

 

So when he hears of the new football league in town, claiming the title of WORLD'S FINEST FOOTBALL, he can't help but drag he and his family off to the stadium for a night of hard knocks.

 

His son and wife, however, are skeptical about the whole thing.

 

And for good reason.

 

A twisted tale of a man, his family, and a football game. Read now, or forever be left out in the dark.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dean Shearer
• Release date: Nov 6, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201949488

Dean Shearer

Dean Shearer is the author of many fictitious works such as The Cat, The World is Magic, and the short stories series Selah, the Universe. He wishes there was more to say about himself (he likes studying religions and walking barefoot and reading and writing in multiple genres and reading and writing a lot) but there's just too much to say.

Book preview

Football Kills

Football Kills

A Short Story

Dean Shearer

Football Kills

Lewis Culbridge was bored out of his mind, and sick of unpacking boxes and moving furniture around.

He put down his side of the couch, and wiped the beads of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Honey, he said, between gasps, we’ve been moving the living room around all day. Don’t think it’s about time we call it a day?

Hannah sighed, irritated, and let her side of the couch down with a thump. I told you, Lew—I've almost got it figured out. The couch goes there, up against the wall. The bookcase—

The couch, he interrupted, was there just an hour ago. And then it was there. He pointed to another wall. You didn’t like it last time, and you won’t like it this time, either.

Her neck pulsed with each exhausted, hammering heartbeat. Her cheeks were red, and her clothes, damp with sweat, hugged tight against her delicate curves. Hannah, he continued. "You’re exhausted. I’m exhausted. And listen, he said, cocking his ear. Ben’s been singing the Spider-Man theme song over and over again for the last thirty minutes. Hear that? Here it?! He’s not even attempting to carry a tune anymore. He sounds like a psycho locked up in a mental ward. He needs to get out of the house for a while, Hannah, and so do I. And, for that matter, look at you! You do too! Come on. Let’s go see a movie or something."

Lew! she said, her voice echoing metallically around the little living room. Lewis paused at the beginning of the hallway and turned and looked at her. "You know this is important to me, she continued. The old house was never right, and it drove me crazy. That’s why we moved, you remember, right? Because the old house—how it was set up and everything—drove me—you—Ben—crazy. And if we don’t get this house set up soon it’ll stay this way forever and we’ll all be back in the same hole we were before."

Lewis opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut.

He had been about to say that they had set up this living room in every configuration possible—literally—and she hadn’t been satisfied with any of them, so this was obviously a personal problem. But that would hurt her feelings, and more than likely set her off on one of her rages.

And, besides, she was right. They had moved because the other place had driven them crazy. Too cluttered and cramped. Not enough sunshine. No matter where the furniture, the pictures on the walls, the rugs had been placed, something always felt off.

And, because both of them worked from home, this actually proved to be quite a problem.

Alright, he said, returning to his side of the couch. How about we move things around for another twenty minutes, and then we go and see a movie or something? And afterward we'll get right back to it. How's that sound, hun?

She shifted her head back and forth, then finally sighed and said, "Alright. Fine. But we’ve gotta get right back to it when we’re done. Capeesh?"

"Capeesh," he said, and happily went back to work on the living room.

Twenty minutes later the living room looked more or less how it had three hours ago, but nonetheless it was twenty minutes later, and, besides, Hannah was looking around at their work with a satisfied look on her face. Then, looking over at Lewis she said,