Can I Buy a Vowel?: Blessed, Broken and the Choice!

By Edwin B. Gray

Have you sincerely prayed for a blessing, felt like you received confirmation, but life is anything but blessed? One of the greatest threats to your blessing is bitterness. It will rob you of joy and lead you to places your conscious will despise. The author will take you to the place of blessing in your life and help you walk out next processes for your growth. Every person goes through the blessing process. You have a choice on how you end it.

Once you know the real meaning of a blessing, it will help you make the choice to choose the right vowel to live the life you dream. You don’t have a choice in your blessing or breaking, but you do have a choice in your response. Don’t let life’s circumstances, past mistakes or pain caused by others stop your forward movement toward better. Choose better. It’s YOUR CHOICE.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 16, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664229334

Edwin B. Gray

He is a father, worker and friend who is working through the pains of bitterness. He is you in your struggle and brings a common sense approach to breaking the cycle.

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Copyright © 2021 Edwin B. Gray.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2934-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2935-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-2933-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021906670

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/12/2021

CONTENTS

Introduction Weathering The Storms Of Life

Chapter 1 Who Am I?

Chapter 2 What Is Your Posture Now?

Chapter 3 What is My Core?

Chapter 4 It Starts With A Word From God

Chapter 5 Loosing Chains And Breaking Shackles

Chapter 6 Piece And Peace

Chapter 7 I’m What?

Chapter 8 Is He Dead Yet?

Chapter 9 Continuing Toward Better Even After Failure

Chapter 10 Why Am I Being Broken?

Chapter 11 One Letter Separates Them

Chapter 12 Find Your People

Chapter 13 The Link Between Comparison and Bitterness

Chapter 14 Eternal Focus Is All That Matters

Chapter 15 Is It In You?

Conclusion 5 Daily Steps Toward Better

Final Thoughts

This book is dedicated to my children: Trinity, Madison, Evan and Faith Laila. Never stop dreaming, always keep fighting and make the wise choice. To my mother who is my living example of Better, I am honored to be your son and thank you for always being brutally honest. To my support system: Keawe, Demarcus, Allen Baron, Patrick, Doug, Lance and others, I am the man I am today because of your support. Finally to those who read this, I hope it gives you hope and an expectancy of greater things.

INTRODUCTION

WEATHERING THE STORMS OF LIFE

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God led me to start writing this book while trudging through the strongest hurricane to hit my life. I use the word hurricane to describe what happened because I’m from Texas, and I have no idea how to handle a hurricane. I’m used to the wind and debris thrown by a tornado and know how to keep myself safe in that type of storm. But during this season of my life, I was unsure what to do to move forward. I was in the middle of a hurricane-level storm of life that I didn’t know how to deal with.

I grew up in Tornado Alley, fifteen miles from the Oklahoma border, and was prepared for a physical storm. Even as a child, I knew the protocol when I heard the siren: find the most interior, window-less room of the house, get low, and, if possible, cover myself. If I was caught outside, I had to find a ditch, overpass, or a nearby house and take the same precautions.

We learn to prepare for physical storms but are often ill-equipped to deal with the storms of life. We rarely learn the precautions we need to take to protect the damage to our emotions. These are the storms that show no signs of physical damage but can rip out the foundation of everything important to us: our families, self-worth, peace, and identity.

What do you do when the one you love doesn’t love you anymore? How do you react when the job you are depending on to care for your family downsizes? How do you rebuild when the storm is self-inflicted: adultery, drug abuse, or a scandal? Just as the physical storms require covering and preparation, so do internal storms.

During tornado season, I like to have The Weather Channel on—it warns me when I need to prepare. I see this book the same way. I’ve lived through some storms, and I can see them coming. I know the signs and can detail the carnage the storms leave in their wake. I want to share what I know so that you can prepare. Though the storms of life are inevitable, the principles in this book can help you navigate them and, hopefully, come out on the other side with less damage to your foundation.

This book will provide an inside look at the disastrous storm cell in my life so that you might prepare for the one that is heading your way. While no two storms are the same—no two situations are the same—there are certain precautions we can all take to manage life during and after our personal storms.

In the middle of a storm, we tend to ask many questions. Why am I going through this? What was the purpose? What did I do wrong? Do I just have bad luck? Am I cursed? You are none of those things.

These are all perfectly normal questions to ask—I’ve asked them myself. As a follower of Christ, I’ve been told by well-meaning Christian friends that I’m not supposed to have thoughts like that. These people would remind me that I am victorious and to focus on that instead of the storm.

I’m going to let you in on a little secret: we all have struggles. Yes, we are more than conquerors, but we also experience storms. Sometimes, in the middle of the difficulties, we start to doubt who we are. I have certainly been there. During my lowest point, I was forced to reevaluate my perception of faith, suffering, and who I am in Christ.

You don’t have to be rich, a celebrity, or a megachurch pastor to weather these storms of life well. You can stand even when it seems like everything in your being is broken, and failure is inevitable. When the winds of regret and hate swirl around you, you can continue living and loving. The devastation of this moment does not have to define you or your future. We can choose to let this storm make us bitter or better—only one letter separates them, and you are in control of which one you choose. Your focus determines where you are headed.

The Beginning Storm

During the hurricane-level storm in my life, I was consumed by a torrential flood of my emotions. I was angry at life. I was distraught, fearful, humbled, prayerful, and bitter. I knew I couldn’t stay in that place, so I started looking for a book. I wanted to find something to help me walk through the storm I was in.

I found multiple books written after the storm had passed in the authors’ lives. They were focused on surveying the aftermath of the hurricane to see if the preparation had worked. That’s not what I needed. I wanted help for walking through it. I needed someone to find me in the middle of the storm and give me a way out. I desired to know how to maintain the peace of God even though everything was falling apart around me.

This book is not written by a superhero who has overcome everything without any failure. I have failed numerous times. I have made wrong choices, repented, tried again, failed again, and repented again. There were moments when I tried whole-heartedly to save things that had already died. I chose to become bitter in my storm, hoping my preferred sin would fill the void in my life. Sometimes I even felt justified in my rebellion and my bitterness. Still, at every step of the way, God has been with me.

Looking back, I now realize that I was looking for a book to help me stop the storms from coming. I wanted to find the strength to overcome the hurricane of my situation and strategies to avoid the next one. I didn’t want to experience any pain or brokenness; I just wanted to walk in the blessings that God has promised me.

God has provided strategies, insight, and a new perspective that has changed my life. The storms will continue to come in my life, but I am more equipped to handle them. And I want to help prepare you too.

The first step is understanding that the storms of life will continue to come. During hurricane season, the United States can experience multiple hurricanes a month. Storm after storm batters the coast, whether the residents are prepared or not.

Our lives are similar. We get out of one storm, find a level of calm for some time, repair the damages, and try to prepare for the next storm. But how often are we truly ready for the next one? In the middle of a storm, it can feel as though God is far away. As if the blessings we have prayed for are out of reach. It can feel impossible to walk in the victory of Christ when we have been beaten down by the storms of life. That’s exactly how I felt in the middle of my hurricane. I was confused because the more I asked God to bless me, the more tests came my way. Whenever I would beg for blessings, chaos seemed to come instead.

I wish life was like a fairy tale, and every struggle or storm ended with a happily ever after, but that isn’t the case. Though I’ve learned a lot along the way, I’m still experiencing the storms of life. Even though the difficulties keep rolling in, I am experiencing more and more victory every day. We can’t stop the storms from coming in our lives, we can’t prevent the breaking process from happening, but we can choose how we will respond in the middle of the process.

This book is about the struggle for your soul (your mind, will, and emotions) that dictates your life. If you are looking for practical ways to approach life from a Biblical perspective to either get your life back on the right track or keep your life on the right track, I believe this book is for you.

Here is the reality of the situation: you have no choice in the blessing and breaking process, but the final portion is completely in your hands. Only you can move into either bitter or better. There is no third option. One little vowel can make all the difference as we’re navigating through our own storms.

The choice is before you. I’ve chosen bitter, I’ve chosen better, and I’ve learned a lot along the way. The rest of this book is filled with practical steps to help you as you navigate through the storms of life. You don’t have to wait until the storm is over, but you can choose your path today. The storm was sent.

Will you choose to be better or bitter?

CHAPTER 1

WHO AM I?

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Who you were formatively developed into can be one of the best indicators of the types of storms you have and will endure? If you want a plant to stop growing big, you put it in a smaller pot so the roots can’t expand. If you want to limit how big something gets, you limit its food supply. Our formative years can reveal the trials and possibilities we will face throughout our lives. Were you isolated, but always wanted to be engaged with others? Now that you’re mature, you need that very skill you were deprived of? I can identify themes throughout my life, and I bet you can too! As you read through some of my personal story, it reminds you of things that you may still be holding on to and gives you hope to endure through your storm.

Even my birth was a storm—my mother was in labor for over four days and was leaking amniotic fluid the entire time. As her contractions grew closer and closer together, my mother became more worried about me. She asked the doctors daily to deliver me. Thanks to the medical advances of the day, they were able to perform a C-Section that saved my life. I was an abnormally large child; I was nine pounds, four ounces, and over twenty-four inches long.

When I was born, my skin was dry and cracked over most of my body. From my chin to the top of my head was the only area of my body that was moisturized. I wouldn’t have been able to survive in my mother’s womb for much longer. One more day in her oven and my goose would’ve been cooked, literally!

My family said that