Daily Sonnets for 12-Steppers: Contemplating Wellness One Step Each Month, One Thought Each Day

By Dean Lovejoy

 

        DAILY SONNETS FOR 12-STEPPERS is an exploration of the principles embodied in the 12-Step program of recovery. The calendar sets the pace for this adventure. Each month concentrates on one of the steps, and each day of the month contemplates an aspect of that step. Wellness is our natural state, and the Twelve Steps provide a perfect means to restore wellness that has been pushed aside by learned habits.

 

Daily Sonnets for 12-Steppers has no parallel. Dean Lovejoy has combined his knowledge of the 12 steps with his unique assortment of talents to produce a remarkable volume of daily reminders of specific 12-step work and of the principles that underlie each step.

__Storm A King, PhD. Redding, CA

 

What a wonderful meditation on the 12 Steps! What a wonderful undertaking. It definitely should be published.

__Gretchen Goff, Psychologist, Tesuque, NM

 

Whether you’re just starting on your road to recovery, have been on the path for years or supporting a person in recovery, Dean Lovejoy’s sonnets offer insight into the mind, internal dialogue and habits that are a part of recovering wellness. A gift given from his heart, his essence in apparent in each verse . __Roy Woolfstead, Retired Attorney, Mt. Shasta, CA

 

Dean has written a powerful book to touch the hearts and minds of those in recovery. It’s simplicity makes the 12-step process available to all who seek to mature in their life. I’ve taken to reading this book daily and it assists me, in a safe way, to look at and gently confront unexamined areas of my life. As a licensed therapist, I find this book can be a useful tool. I highly recommend it. __Brad Seiser, Palo Cedro, CA

 

Dean Lovejoy has found a way to add poetry as a tool for those of us seeking to improve our lives. In this thought provoking and fun read, I have found it possible to explore delightful additions to my daily self-care routines.

__Thom Spring, MS, LCLS, Mesa, AZ

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Mar 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781982263386

Book preview

January (Step One)

S tep One is an admission of powerlessness, but not hopelessness, over a condition that is impacting your life in a negative way. It may be addiction to a substance (e.g., drugs, alcohol, sugar), behavior (e.g., co-dependence, gambling, sex) or mental status (e.g., abuse, abandonment, post-traumatic stress). Step One is acceptance of powerlessness but not hopelessness.

AA’s Step One

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Secular Version of Step One

We admitted we were powerless over [a belief, a behavior, an addiction], that our lives had become unmanageable

Dean’s Interpretation

I admit I’ve lost power over my habits

January 1

New Year New Life

New Year’s Day, ideally, is the day

for you to reclaim the life you deserve.

Feeling unworthy may get in the way

but know that life hasn’t thrown you a curve.

Whatever the issue, whatever the reasons

you may have for feeling unworthy,

you’re not your deeds, they are but lesions

meant to awaken you to your journey.

Deeds have reasons—some selfish, some not.

They are meant to reward your self-image.

Behind every deed your well-being is sought.

Allow self-love to convey your visage.

Start your new year with an attitude of giving

and loving yourself in a way that’s forgiving.

January 2

Step One

I sense that my life is unmanageable—

my habits, it seems, render me powerless.

I’m wishing for my mind to be tranquil,

but I find instead disconnectedness.

A journey begun with complete innocence

has somehow veered under pressure of feeling.

Like the frog in a pot, boiling in blissfulness,

I find where I am no longer appealing.

To achieve transformation of my situation

I must be willing to make this admission:

I’m not a victim; it’s my abdication;

I have created my own disposition.

If I no longer want to feel powerless

I must find the root cause of my sourness.

January 3

A New Song

You play the same medley, the same play-list;

but now you’ve worn out all of your songs.

Everyone around you seems to be pissed;

but still you won’t heed the warning gongs.

You deny your melody has gone sour

and virtually drives your friends up the wall.

It’s time you turn down your staying power

and up the volume from a new music hall.

Some music may seem to soothe your soul;

yet can have lyrics that just bring you down.

The songs you’re playing with no self-control

find you having a nervous breakdown.

Before going mad in your afternoons

think about reconsidering your tunes.

January 4

Courage to Change

It takes a whole lot of courage to change

habits you once considered your buddy

because it means you must rearrange

things in your life that have become ruddy.

It takes a whole lot of courage to change

and forsake what once was your salvation.

It’s humbling when your old ways estrange

and old comforts give way to frustration.

Habits start out as your welcome allies;

you find them useful, though some not so much.

Some become ex-friends dressed in disguise

insisting that they be used as your crutch.

It takes a whole lot of courage to change.

But in the end, it’s well worth the exchange.

January 5

Beyond Surrender

Sometimes enemies are loath to surrender-

they’d die before saying, I’ve had enough.

They think of themselves as the defender

of some faithfulness they’d never give up.

Blind loyalty is the antithesis

of maintaining-a strong coexistence;

yet loyalty’s allegiance is vigorous

and it stands firm in stubborn resistance.

Habits are like that, enemy or not—

like a dog mother defending her pup;

they blindly rush to meet a need’s onslaught

and fight feverishly without a backup.

Surrender offers an effective solution

for out-of-control habits that need dissolution.

January 6

Beginning of Consciousness

Have you ever noticed how you observe

your life from some much higher place—

some part of yourself that’s held in reserve—

part of, yet beyond, this earth’s human race?

Most of us never think of it much;

we’re absorbed by our whims and our habits.

Then one day we lose control as we clutch

the comfort handle of life’s apparatus.

At that point cognizance knocks at our door

saying that it can transform our problem

with knowledge that is meant to restore

our true self—a being that’s awesome.

If we’d like to seek a new consciousness

we must be open to new cognizance.

January 7

Commitment

Commitment must always precede success;

it’s putting the horse ahead of your cart.

Lacking commitment you’re bound to regress—

your intentions soon will tumble apart.

Like an engine that’s starving for fuel

persistent commitment must also be fed.

Commitment is only your vestibule—

the entry point to start moving ahead.

Don’t be discouraged if you find it hard.

Just simply take it one day at a time.

Beyond the lobby you’ll find a vanguard

to help you adjust to your new paradigm.

Commitment provides the means to forswear

unwanted behavior, fear and despair.

January 8

Three A’s to AA

Three A’s: awareness, acceptance and action

can relieve unmanageability.

Become aware of what’s real—not abstraction—

then accept your own culpability.

That’s the beginning, a giant first step,

but it takes more than seeing the problem.

Accept the gift left at your doorstep;

it’s a roadmap to well-deserved freedom.

Millions have taken their woes to AA

and found a way and help for right action.

They found the support to live day-to-day

within that fellowship’s deep satisfaction.

It may seem foreign to admit unmanageability.

AA members know that it leads to tranquility.

January 9

When I’m Ready

What’s good today we put off to tomorrow

when we say, I will when I’m good and ready.

We may feign willingness, but only for show—

just a smokescreen of verbal confetti.

When we don’t do what we know we should do

we find we’re at odds with our willingness—

it’s an excuse with an angle of view

that conceals our well-being’s indigence.

We know that not doing is not okay

when we can see that it’s hard on others.

Though we may think we are good for today

we’re denying our others their druthers.

Spot it, you got it! Don’t take a chance.

Do now what’s right, it’s part of life’s dance.

January 10

We Cease Fighting

Worn down at last by our powerlessness

we finally admit our need to control.

We discard our façade of fearlessness

and decide happiness is our new goal.

This one simple change in our attitude

reveals the gift hidden by stubbornness.

When we put the focus on gratitude

we open the way to new governance.

No longer engaged in a losing battle

our energy now goes into well-being.

We cease building our tower of babel

and realize that surrender is freeing.

We cease fighting and embrace willingness

to engage in a fresh life of openness.

January 11

Betrayal

One day we found ourselves unrewarded

by behaviors we used for their outcomes.

Habits developed for feelings afforded

quit working and left us with the doldrums.

We welcome the memory of things in the past

that trigger our need to have such a feeling.

There likely was trauma that left us aghast

and is resurfacing and crying for healing.

We endeavor instead of feeling betrayed—

to see each situation as a short shrift

that wants our attention so we might trade

our old ways for a precious new gift.

Feelings aren’t really meant to betray.

They open the portal to happiness each day.

January 12

Co-depend On Me

As hard as I try to help you fix your fix

it seems my effort is never enough.

You pull something from your grab bag of tricks

and then I’m left standing alone in the buff.

You usually tell me it’s not all your fault;

you just couldn’t help it—just born that way.

But I’ve come to see that it’s your gestalt

and it’s your own habits that you obey.

I’m not responsible for what you do

or funky habits and patterns you’ve learned.

I’m done with the struggling to pull you through.

This meeting is over; it’s now adjourned!

I want to always be there for support,

but you own the demons that you must thwart.

January 13

Convinced

If you really want recovery to work,

you must be fully convinced of its need.

Any doubt you have—the slightest knee jerk—

will weaken your willfulness to succeed.

An open mind and complete willingness,

those who have been there completely accede,

along with the need to do due diligence

are good starting points for meeting your need.

Many have started and tried it awhile,

then they succumbed to familiar habit.

Old ways will constantly seek to beguile

from deep in your mind, which they inhabit.

Recovery is yours; but you must truly want it.

To need without wanting is pure counterfeit.

January 14

Daylight, Flashlight or Laser

Daylight reveals all that you can perceive

but it leaves your brain in overload.

Your brain files away the things you believe

to determine the filtered reality bestowed.

A flashlight helps you see in the dark;

it lights up only the spot where it’s pointed.

Compared to daylight its focus is sharp,

leaving the rest of the world disjointed.

The laser is coherent energy

more powerful than day or flashlight.

Its intention is to bring synergy

to the object that’s its target sight.

The purpose of light is to dispel darkness.

Which light you choose determines its largess.

January 15

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

We try to regulate what we can’t control,

but in the end, we feel the pushback

from that condition’s magnetic dipole,

which seems to respond with counterattack.

Actually, the pushback is not an attack.

It’s a reading of your real intention.

The pushback, you’ll see, is biofeedback

with its incentive of intervention.

Check out the reasons you want to control.

How is the world saved by your intention?

Are you a savior or just an asshole

who’s in crisis and needs intervention?

Put your attention on what you are thinking.

That’s the energy you’re unconsciously drinking.

January 16

Turn the Other Cheek

Life is about change—you grow, or you die.

Stagnation seems real, but really, it’s not.

If you are stuck and you turn a blind eye,

you’re really dying in your train of thought.

Turn your other cheek, surrender your plight;

open your mind to a new school of thought—

one that says you no longer need to fight

what you think of as your life’s juggernaut.

You waste energy trying to control

everything with which you might disagree.

Like a boat stuck upon some shallow shoal

you must unload it so it can float free.

Turn your other cheek, not to smite but see,

the person you’re really wanting to be.

January 17

Experimenters

We learn our ways as experimenters

seeking techniques to meet our perceived needs.

When we find what pleases our need centers

we tend to form habits out of our deeds.

We may get some pleasures from substances

such as alcohol, drugs and perhaps food.

Then substances lead to indulgences,

the pleasures of which seem to alter our mood.

We experiment more to deepen the mood;

then pleasure turns into intolerance.

But habit has grown to such magnitude

that now its role is complete dominance.

There’s one way to alter this predicament:

experiment with spiritual enlightenment.

January 18

What’ll It Take?

What do you think it will take to make us

realize that we’re our own avatar?

Accept that what we consider a fracas

is actually cargo in our baggage car.

Sometimes humility comes at a price;

the cost to make changes seems much too high.

So, we just keep seeking our paradise

in ways that continue to stultify;

add stimulation to help compensate;

invest more energy to help manage;

try to administrate but accelerate

the rate at which we seem to cause damage.

What’ll it take to finally see through this fog?

What’ll it take to write a new epilogue?

January