I Wrote This for You

By Estina Ailoje

I wrote this for you.

You are a Phalaenopsis
sticking out of the wall
contrary to everything ordinary.

I don’t know what it is
but something about you makes me go amok,
a craving worse than smoking.

Something like beautiful.
Something haywire.

I know if I have you,
I would probably quit my secondhand habits
and walk into rehab without understanding why.

I would become a disciple and go to church every day.
Just for you.
Just to see your face.

Anything you love,
I will become.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664141759

Estina Ailoje

Estina Nayoka Ailoje is a model and an international butterfly, who loves to travel the world and write about the many emotions her journeys through life has taken her. Spending her early childhood in a war driven country before moving to a place that taught her about solitude, self-acceptance and love. Growing up in a big family, her shy and awkward personality drove her to confide in writing during difficult times. Soon a habit created as a defense mechanism became a hobby, she could not live without. After moving to the states in 2007, she decided to pursue an education in Arts & Fashion but was soon discouraged by some of her family members. In the end, she got a bachelor’s degree in Public Administration but along the way continued to attend literature sessions and read poetry from some of the best poet’s, including international writers. While working on research papers and projects in school, many of her professors took notice of her writing and encouraged her to work on a book but within that time frame, there was always an issue that would push her works. Although time did hold her back, she never gave up. “People feel but I feel so deeply sometimes it scares me. It is a ruff of everything that makes me wonder, my imagination is really just so wild and beautiful but yet ugly.” - Estina

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 by Estina Ailoje.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/08/2021

Xlibris

844-714-8691

www.Xlibris.com

818227

CONTENTS

In His Image

Emotions in The Closet

What do you think of our love?

The Beginning

To Fill The Void

To My Master

Dancing on Ice

Your last spring

The Day You Bloom

My Little Oyster

Lost

What If

Disappointment

My Girl

Shiny Things

Addiction

Underneath it All

Movies

Trauma

Denial

I Wrote This for You

When I First Met You

You

Gone Too Soon (for Breonna Taylor)

Fear & Faith

Bad Beautiful

My Kind of Love

Shadow Banned

Teach Me How to Love

Unrequited Love

Regret

Death Bed

A Prayer

Dirty Love

⁴th Of July

No Signal

Ordinary Boy

Notice Me

Memories

The Silent Treatment

Those We Have Lost

Love is Blind

The Becoming of My Enemy

With You

Selfish Lover

Pictures

The Boy Who Could Never Love

Damaged Goods

Colo(u)r

Kind-Hearted

The Broken

To Proof One’s Love

Healing

Guilt

Things That Remind Me of You

My Little Lady

The Call

When the sad bird cries

The After Effect

Forgiving Yesterday

In His Defense

Its okay not to be okay

Decisions

Sleeping with The Devil

Planting This Feelings

Bugs

Heavy

Love and Other Disasters

Words

Commitmentphobia

Sad Playlist

Especially on Sunday’s

For Valentine’s Day

I Did This for You

The Day We Broke Up

Space

Dear You

When The Boy I Loved, Never Changed (Peter Pan)

Candle Light

To My Soulmate

Strangers

Blood on Heavens Hands

Ease

Time

Suicide for Closure

The Stages of A Rose

Laundry

Sad Days

She

Chasing Miracles

Scars

Sacred

The Rain

The Moon

Wrong Timing

Lust

(Soul) Food

Diamond in The Ruff

Ghosts of My Past

Imperfections

Anxiety

Lethal Fairy

One

Gardening

This poem is for:

IN HIS IMAGE

You are the sun and the moon.

You are the earth and its roots.

The rain comes alive

to kiss you at your feet.

Though this dream we rise daily,

left us to doubt our whole existence.

Birthed through an extraordinary thread.

To exist means you are special.

To exist, means you in fact

are a part of God.

You are king and own your own crown.

Always walk like God and live like a God,

most of all, love others,

as kin to God.

EMOTIONS IN THE CLOSET

Some people

scar

in secret.

The rest of us

carry our wounds on our sleeves,

for the world to see.

.

I hope you find someone

who can hear you,

in silence and endurance.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR LOVE?

Do you think our love would weather the storm and be still,

or be brawled like the waves of the sea

to be hushed?

Does it make you shiver with how’s.

Anxious to love me as your one and only or

does it make you quiver and