My Colonial Caste

By Helen T.E. Constantine

My journey was in no way planned, I woke up one morning asking myself, what on earth are you doing here, and what does the future hold for someone like me on these small islands; yes, I had sand, sea, and sun as well as my brother, sister and all my cousins but this comfort was leading, absolutely nowhere.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Oct 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728354132

Helen T.E. Constantine

Helen Constantine is better known for her musical achievements as a classically trained soprano. She, however, chose the concert stage in preference to Opera. She studied vocal technique in Naples (Italy) and Paris (France). She debuted in Paris before returning to London where she had her first recital at the South Bank. This was followed by several concerts at Leighton House and other venues in London. Helen is known for her generous contributions to many charitable events both in the UK and abroad.

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© 2019 Helen T.E. Constantine. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  09/25/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5414-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5415-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5413-2 (e)

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Contents

Chapter One - The Journey

Chapter Two - Jerry and Aunt Sadie

Chapter Three - The Lodger

Chapter Four - My sisters’ arrival

Chapter Five - My Italian Escapades

Chapter Six - Mama and Aunt Daisy

Chapter Seven - Get-Together

Chapter Eight - The Funeral

Chapter Nine - The meeting

Chapter Ten - The Apparition

Chapter Eleven - The Cassava Business

Chapter Twelve - Martha’s Decision

Chapter Thirteen - Zara

Chapter Fourteen - The School

Chapter Fifteen - The Departure

Chapter Sixteen - The Decision

Chapter Seventeen - The Birth

Chapter Eighteen - Henry

Chapter Nineteen - Daisy’s Passing

This book is subject to the following stipulations. It shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the author’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover, or electronic form without a similar condition imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

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Helen Theresa Elizabeth Constantine – Biography

Helen Constantine was born in Jamaica of Scottish and Portuguese/Spanish origin. Her colourful and rich family history goes back to the period of the Inquisition

From an early age, Helen Constantine travelled extensively and spent some of her childhood living in the Bahamas and the United States.

She eventually returned to Britain from Jamaica in the late ‘70s during the political upheaval where many had to leave the colony fearing for their safety. She has lived in the UK ever since.

Helen Constantine is better known for her musical achievements as a classically trained soprano. She, however, chose the concert stage in preference to Opera. She studied vocal technique in Naples (Italy) and Paris (France)

She debuted in Paris before returning to London where she had her first recital at the South Bank.

Several concerts followed the above event at Leighton House and other venues in London.

Helen is known for her generous contributions to many charitable events both in the UK and abroad. She has written and composed several songs. She is also widely praised for her lyrics and poetry.

My sincere thanks to all my family and friends

who’ve kindly encouraged me to write this book

First and foremost, my thanks to:

Sandra Barker friend and fellow poet RIP

And

Teresa Sanchez Bascones from the Philippines RIP

Also a special thank you

To

Michiko Haga - Gifford and her sister

Ikuko Haga who’ve been, real friends

Thanks

I

dedicate this book to the memory of my Grandmother

Florence R. Alvaranga Thompson

My dearest mother

Margaret Mary Constantine

And much loved sister

Amy T. Constantine

RIP

Chapter One - The Journey

The most significant and accurate, occurrences and reoccurrences: I’ve so far experienced; have taken place, in August. One can call it coincidence or synchronicity; whatever arguable reasoning or philosophical explanation one can conjure up; however, it’s reasonable to say, many things are inexplicable.

It’s easy to be cynical, or say that specific occurrences and reoccurrences can be logically explained; but, can they all be! When traumatic or unique events occur, inevitably, they frequently linger in the subconscious or unconscious. Subsequently, triggering reoccurring episodes of similar patterns, or so we think.

Logically, I’m inclined to believe that within reason, some perplexing events can defy logic. However, I can only relate to my specific reoccurring instances.

I will, however, try to recount best as I can vague and treasured memories: likewise all that’s been conveyed and authenticated, to some extent, over the years.

Further to this, I must be both, candid and explicit about having to change an assortment of names, dates, places, and situations to protect the anonymity and the rights of others, as I go along.

In the mid-70s, I left Jamaica in August to join my brother, sister, and cousins in the Bahamas. Just over a year later, I left the Bahamas in August for the United Kingdom.

My journey was not thought-out. I woke up one morning asking myself, what on earth are you doing here, and what does the future hold for someone like me on these small islands. Yes, I had sand, sea, and sun as well as my brother, sister and all my cousins, but this comfort was leading, absolutely nowhere. Later that day, I contacted my brother, telling him that I would be leaving the Island as soon as I can get a flight to London.

My brother was somewhat taken aback by my news.

He, subsequently, sought the assistance of my sister and cousins in a fraught, final effort to dissuade me; by saying, that London is a vast city and that away from, our Aunt Sadie, I knew no one and could fall into the hands of unsavoury individuals.

I, nonetheless, stuck to my guns and told them I’d made up my mind, and that I intend buying my ticket as soon as possible. Shortly after, I was heading for the airport with my one suitcase and saying my goodbyes to my family, before boarding a BA flight, bound for London.

My family was understandably anxious about my journey and safety. However, in the fullness of time, I came to understand why. One could say, I have had a very sheltered life; therefore, with little or no experience of travelling any distance on my own. I hadn’t the slightest concept, of the seriousness or danger in my venture or mission, and perhaps if I did, I never would have embarked on such a journey.

I was extremely young for my age, naïve, and innocent in many ways. As I now, look back over the years

I can honestly say that I had no inkling whatever, as to how my journey to the UK and arrival at Heathrow airport would ensue. Further to this, I do at times think to myself how blessed and protected I was, to have survived my first days in London unscathed. As I had no idea as to what I was doing and as to how I would survive. I, however, had a guardian angel, and that guardian was to be seated next to me, on the plain.

On the aircraft, I was seated beside a smartly dressed, well-spoken man who introduced himself as Gordon. In reply I said; I’m Helen; oh, Helen of Troy, well Helen of Troy, it seems as though we are going to be close neighbours’ for quite a few hours, and I’m sure, we’re going to get along!

I imagined Gordon’s age to be, between thirty-five and forty-five years old; however, shortly after being airborne, he mentioned that he was forty-three, then went on to say that he was married with two children, a boy of eleven and a girl of nine. He then proudly shows me a few lovely photographs of his family.

During the flight, we talked about the Bahamas and Jamaica, not to mention a range of other topics before he asked if I was being met at the airport. I told him no, and that I would have to find some sort of transport to get me into London, also a hotel for the night before contacting my Aunt who lives in Chelsea.

I could see an instantaneous look of concern on Gordon’s face; therefore, the conversation on the subject didn’t go further. On arrival at Heathrow

I believed I knew just about everything about Gordon, his wife and children. We said goodbye after going through immigration but met up again by the conveyor belt while waiting for our luggage to arrive.

When Gordon noticed that I did not have a trolley, Gordon quickly went off to collect a trolley which he saw, unattended standing close by. Returning with the trolley; he said, I am going directly into central London by taxi and will be staying overnight at an excellent but inexpensive Hotel close to Lancaster Gate, before taking my train home early in the morning. He went on to say, do let me call my Hotel to inquire as to whether or not they’ve got a single room available or an alternative that they’re able to offer.

After collecting our luggage, Gordon found a telephone booth; he returned a short while after, saying, you’re really fortunate, the Hotel had an available single room which they’d reserved for someone who cancelled earlier in the day and that they’d be holding it for you.

We subsequently pushed our trolleys out to the taxi rank where he and the driver loaded our luggage in the back and front compartments of the taxi. On arriving at the Hotel, I tried to pay my share of the cab. Gordon adamantly refused to let me do so by saying that his expenses, goes automatically on his expense account, and my paying half of the taxi fare, would only complicate things and incur an awful lot of unnecessary explanation.

At the Hotel, we registered at the reception and then handed keys to our respective rooms then proceeded towards the elevator, before getting to its door, Gordon paused, to say. I will be having supper in the Hotel’s dining room at 7:00 pm. I’d be pleased if you’ll join me, he then went on to say. I’m sure, you’re as famished as I am, and remember the damage goes on my expense account; so, Helen of Troy, can I expect to have your company at dinner. We’ll meet, may I say, at 7 o’clock by the reception, I replied, yes thank you.

I was indeed ravenously hungry and only a few moments before Gordon suggested my joining him at dinner, that I began worrying about where I’d be able to get a decent and inexpensive meal before turning in for the night.

As arranged, we met by the reception at 7 o’clock and went into the dining room and shown to the table Gordon had reserved. He ordered vegetable soup to start and suggested that I did the same, as we both had nothing hot for almost twenty-four hours!

The soup made me feel alive again, and as a matter of fact; I almost burped halfway through! He then ordered Dover sole for himself and told me to have whatever I wanted from the menu. I chose beef stew and dumplings, which I enjoyed to no end. He then suggested the rhubarb crumble and ice cream, which again was absolute heaven, especially when you’ve not had a proper meal in two days. On reflection, he must have seen me as a little stray or lost puppy.

During dinner, Gordon talked about visiting several banks along Bay Street, as well as the Bank where he worked during his stay in Nassau. His Bank was at the far end of Bay Street close to The British Colonial Hotel. Excitedly, I told him that my cousin Rema is a junior accountant there; he thought for a few seconds then said. She has a sister called Faith working at another Bank further along Bay Street, Good Heavens; now I’m able to see the likeness, I know them both, a group of us were out to lunch only last week, then ended up having a few drinks at the Junkanoo cocktail lounge on Bay Street, well, well, small world!

At that moment, I found it almost difficult to contain my tears and suddenly felt, very much alone, and missing my family. Gordon must have sensed my sadness as he quickly said; I rang my wife earlier and told her about you. She suggested giving you our address and telephone number and agreed that, in the event of any problems, all you have to do, is just call, we’ll come and pick you up.

My family and I have had several fantastic holidays in the Bahamas and Jamaica, and the hospitality by just about everyone has always been warm and pleasant.

He then changed the conversation by saying that, in two days it will be his birthday (August again) and that his wife and children are, doubtlessly planning some kind of surprise for him. Still, he said, on the other hand, I am carrying home the gifts. We both laughed as we got up and left the dining room feeling alive again.

Gordon hugged me and said; I’ll be gone before you’re up in the morning, but you must give me your word, to keep in touch, and any problems, just call. I thanked Gordon again and spontaneously hugged him before he turned to leave.

I watched him walk away, and in that instant, felt an overwhelming feeling of pure, innocent warmth towards him. I then asked the reception where I’d be able to buy a box of chocolates and birthday card.

The receptionist kindly drew up the directions, and I quickly went off and bought a large box of excellent chocolates for the family along with a birthday card, thanking Gordon, for all his kindness. I then left it with the reception for him to pick up in the morning before his departure.

I also made arraignments to stay on for an extra night as I knew I’d be much too exhausted to start worrying about what I would say to my Aunt, before finding my way, to her apartment in Chelsea.

I did not get awake until almost noon the following day; and as a matter of fact, it was the chambermaid knocking on my door, that woke me. By the time I got down to the reception, it was almost 1:30 pm.

The receptionist on duty was a very kind young woman in her late 20s. After saying a quick good afternoon in passing, she called out to me saying; she had a letter which Mr Gordon Stephenson asked her to deliver directly to me.

It was lunchtime, and luckily, the reception was empty apart from the receptionist who introduced herself as Charlotte. I was, therefore, able to have a little chat with her. I told her that I would be moving out the following day to stay with my Aunt, but would be looking for a room or flat not far from Chelsea; she immediately told me that her rooming house in Barons Court, which is not far away from Chelsea, has a vacant room. I could hardly believe my luck and almost begged her to call her landlady, which she did. Her landlady told her to send me around to see her immediately.

Charlotte gave me the instructions as to how to get to where she was living. On arriving, I was met at the door by a very tall slim woman, aged about 55 who had her well bleached blond hair swept up into a beehive style. She was the prime example of a barmaid, seen in many films made during the 50s and 60s.

Charlotte’s landlady introduced herself as Mary; everyone calls me Mary, so please do the same.

Mary then asked if I’d like a cup of tea. I thanked her for the kind offer but explained that shortly before coming; I had a cup of hot chocolate at the Hotel,

Mary, at that point, said, in that case, let me show you the room. The room was on the second floor, on the small side, but clean, she went on to say that I would have to share the kitchen, bathroom, and toilet with three other tenants. At that moment, the words of my mother came ringing back any port in a storm.

I immediately accepted the room paid two weeks in advance and asked if I could move in the following day. Mary agreed then handed me the keys to the room and front door, saying. If I’m not around when you arrive, just make yourself at home, she then walked me to the door and said I’ll see you sometime tomorrow. I told her thanks and left.

As I walked away from the house and down the Street, towards Baron’s Court tube station, which was no more than two minutes away. For the first time in my life, I experienced pure elation. I felt my feet hardly touching the ground. Oddly enough, all my sudden fears were lifted from my heart. Having been brought up in homes with no less than four bedrooms and servants to cater to most of my needs, this one little room in Barons Court brought more reassurance, and relief that I’ve for the most part previously experienced. I also felt as though, I’d made another step into another life and maturity

The joy in obtaining my own accommodation gave me a strong sense of security and independence. I was also without reason, concerned as to whether or not, my Aunt would have been able to accommodate me, even though I knew, they’d have doubtlessly made room for me, no matter what the circumstances were. Nevertheless, despite my doubts and fears, all worked out. I was not totally reliant on my Aunt; which I found, preferable.

On my way back to the Hotel, I found to my delight a fish and chip shop where I bought cod, chips and a cold drink for the first time in my life, then walked happily to Hyde Park which was almost opposite the Hotel. I found a secluded bench where I sat and began enjoying my first and last meal of the day; on finishing my fish and chips which I enjoyed to no end, I took out Gordon’s letter that since receiving it from Charlotte earlier in the day, I hadn’t the time to read.

Gordon said that he had to have a chat with the manager of the Bank in Nassau regarding the work he had done. He went on to say that, he asked to speak with my cousin Rema, who was quite surprised to hear that by sheer coincidence, he sat beside me on the flight over. He explained that it would be his birthday in a few days, and all the first class and business seats were all taken, and he wanted to get home before his birthday.

My cousin was relieved when told that I was all right, as the family had not as yet heard from me, and they were all extremely anxious, he reassured her that I was okay and would contact them shortly. He also went on to say that he had taken the liberty of paying my hotel bill and that it cost him nothing as it was all going on his expense account.

He went on to thank me for the card and chocolates saying that, his wife and children will undoubtedly enjoy and that I must not forget to keep in touch. I sat in Hyde Park, holding Gordon’s letter in my hand with tears rolling down my cheek, wanting desperately to thank him. To thank him not just for his generosity but for his decency, also to say that guardian angels don’t, for the most part, have wings and he, even if it were for a short while, took me under his wings. Gordon’s generous act of kindness helped me find my feet when it was most needed, he also placed and stood me in good stead, and without his kindness things could have taken an entirely different direction and who knows, what course that might have been, or could have been!

Shortly after leaving the park, I found a telephone booth and called my Aunt, who was thoroughly surprised to know that I was already in London. She immediately asked if I was still at the airport and if I had sufficient sterling to take a taxi and if not she’ll pay on my arrival.

I quickly related my story; she sounded somewhat disappointed that I did not immediately call her on my arrival; nonetheless, I was delighted that, on my own, I had taken so much initiative. My Aunt and I decided that after moving into my newly acquired room the following day. I should come over to dinner, and that I should also tell my landlady that I would be sleeping overnight at my Aunts so that there can be no misunderstanding or ambiguity about my person or whereabouts.

The following day I arrived at my Aunts’ at about 5:30 pm. I must say, apart from one photograph of Martha and Aunt Sadie as young women together which my mother treasured, I was for the first time meeting my Aunt Sadie. Their immediate comments were, my goodness you’re tiny, and you look exactly like your mother.

Aunt Sadie was slim and about 5 foot seven or eight in height. She was not a beautiful woman; however, one could easily say, she was an exquisite, handsome and strikingly attractive. Sadie was the daughter of my grandmothers’ sister; however, owing to the age difference and close link to my mother, I felt her as good as an Aunt.

My Aunt’s husband, Jerry, patiently waited until the excitement with my Aunt had passed, before giving me a hug saying welcome to rainy, damp cold London. You’ll find it, vastly different, from Jamaica and the Bahamas, and as soon as possible, you must get yourself a warm winter coat. Still, for now, tonight I’m taking you girls out to dinner, my Aunt Sadie and Jerry told me to make myself comfortable then left me watching television with a glass of orange juice as they prepare themselves to go out.

On sitting in my Aunts’ living room, my thoughts went back to Gordon who certainly by then, must have arrived home and happily settled once again with his wonderful wife and two children, who he’d in-depth and so kindly spoken to me about on the flight over. Gordon must have known or somehow sensed from experience or intuition, that I needed the help he so generously and spontaneously gave without reservations. I am sure that Gordon was well aware that I did not in any way, doubt or question his integrity or envisaged any ulterior motive for his kindness. He must have also known that my thoughts were far too wholesome for that, or hold any distrustful suspicion.

Over dinner that night, I told my Aunt and Gerry all about Gordon. My Aunt decided that she would call him, first thing in the morning, to thank him for his generosity. She also told me that following my telephone call yesterday; my mother had rung to say that my cousin in Nassau telephoned her to say that I had arrived safely, my Aunt went on to say that as soon as we got back to the flat, she would call my mother so that we both could have a short talk.

Throughout dinner, the questions, chatter, and laughter were endless, and I almost forgot how far I was from my family and home. My mood was also helped by two glasses of wine which certainly took away most of my childish inhibitions and in a way, made me feel that I had perhaps succeeded in taking the second step towards a more productive life.

On arrival back at the flat, my Aunt telephoned my mother; she exchanged a few words with her then handed the telephone to me.

Strange enough, it was as if I was hearing my mother’s voice for the first time, it sounded soft and contemplative; I had the feeling that she measured each word that she said, and towards the end of our conversation I felt as though she desperately wanted to say more, but just couldn’t. I then said to her; Mama as soon as I can call again I will, I also asked her not to worry about me, she response was; I know you can take care of yourself, and your guardian angels are also taking care of you for me. Now, we had better not run up Sadie’s telephone bill, and it wouldn’t be polite, so long my dear, we’ll talk soon again!

After our telephone conversation ended, my Aunt returned to the sitting room with Jerry following close behind, saying, who is for a hot or cold drink? My Aunt told him she would have a glass of that opened Italian sparkling wine that left from earlier in the afternoon; he then asked if I’d like the same or some hot chocolate, I told him I’d love hot chocolate if it’s not too much trouble, he then said no problem at all.

While we had our drinks, they then asked if I am sure about wanting to remain in my little room in Barons Court, and it would be no problem whatsoever, for Jerry to take a run over the following day in the car and collect my belongings.

I thanked my Aunt and Jerry and told them that I would have to start looking for a job on Monday also that I had already paid two weeks in advance so I would remain for the time being and see how things go. My Aunt and Jerry were very kind and said; well if that’s what you want, then try it for a few weeks and if you have any doubts or problems, the offer remains open, how about that!

I thanked them both and then felt relieved and genuinely delighted on reaching a quick, agreeable and happy solution with my Aunt. We then chatted for a while longer. My Aunt looked at the time stood up and said, my goodness, I had no idea it was so late, you must be exhausted. I’ll put an extra blanket on your bed; it may get a bit nippy in the morning.

Shortly after, my Aunt decided that we’ve all had a very long day and all deserve a good