Another Kind of Normal

By Lynne Seeger

I don't know whether this is the story of Jeff the autistic individual, Jeff the man of God, or Jeff the medical enigma; but I do know it is the story of Jeff, my son. Jeff was so autistic, and yet not autistic at all if you used the textbook definition. He had huge sensory integration issues and appeared to be living inside of himself, but he cared so much for God and other people that their needs always came above his own. He had severe speech issues, only spoke one-word answers, but wrote beautiful papers and prayers when given the Canon communicator. He desired to go to regular school and be normal only to decide normal wasn't so great after all and he blossomed much more when he got in an adult program at the Intermediate School District. He talked about screaming inside but no one could hear him while on the outside he wrote his name and address every day and brought home the result of his effort every evening only to go back to it another day. As he got older and understood himself more, he developed a split personality. Retard was the autistic guy who couldn’t relate to the world while Jeff was the man of God who kindly tried to put everyone else at ease.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Jun 9, 2020
• ISBN: 9781489729316

Lynne Seeger

Lynne's only qualification to tell Jeff's story is the fact she is his mother and walked this walk beside him. Jeff taught her more about faith than any church ever could.

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Copyright © 2020 Lynne Seeger.

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ISBN: 978-1-4897-2930-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2931-6 (e)

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 06/08/2020

CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Cast Of Characters

Chapter 1 NORMAL

Chapter 2 The Beginning of the End – Jeff’s Way

Chapter 3 He is not Retarded!

Chapter 4 Autism in the 1980s in Rural America

Chapter 5 The Problem With Not Talking

Chapter 6 Facilitated Communication and the Canon

Chapter 7 High School

Chapter 8 High School

Chapter 9 Baptism

Chapter 10 Water

Chapter 11 Christmas

Chapter 12 Best Man

Chapter 13 Work

Chapter 14 Money

Chapter 15 Freedom

Chapter 16 Feelings

Chapter 17 Faith

Chapter 18 Magical Bond Between Mother and Son

Chapter 19 Hunter and Haleigh

Chapter 20 Medical Traumas Too

Chapter 21 And More Medical Issues

Chapter 22 The Final Countdown

Chapter 23 Jeff’s Eulogy

Chapter 24 Jeff’s Goodbyes

Chapter 25 The Dream

Chapter 26 Eagles and Rabbits

Chapter 27 Eagles Still Soaring

Afterward

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to Jeff and all the other Jeffs of the world. Without your desire to cure autism and share your stories as a way to do that, Jeff, I would not have had the courage to put these words to paper. As I write these words today, a rabbit is in our back yard for the first time in weeks. Thanks for the reminder Jeff; I hope I have done you proud.

Thank you to all my friends and family who were such an encouragement along this slow path to a book. Especially to Michelle who helped me get it started and gave me the courage to keep writing. Thanks also to my editors Cindy, Sue, Deb and Meagan. Obviously sentence structure is not my thing, but with all of your help we have put the words together.

A special thank you to Hunter who has kept Jeff’s story alive in my heart every day as he continues his own journey to help the Jeffs of the world.

NORMAL

By Jeff Seeger

I dream of being normal

I try my very best

But trying to be normal

Can’t happen with the rest.

I dreamed of being normal

I retard be no more

I tried to grow more normal

But too much went before.

I dream of being normal

The best that I could be

But it was awful hard being normal

Why can’t you all see?

I’m tired of being normal

Autistic’s what I am

Why can’t we all be normal

Being just as I am?

I dreamed of being normal

Far as we all could try

But gave up being normal

Now must I say goodbye?

(1993)

PREFACE

I thought I would have to teach my son about the world, turns out I have to teach the world about my son. They see a boy who cannot speak, I see a miracle who doesn’t need words. -Unknown

This book is about the life of my son, Jeff, a remarkable young man who also happened to be autistic. I viewed the autism as a battle for a very long time and waged many fierce assaults against it. However, with Jeff’s help, I slowly grew to understand that unlike a transient illness, autism was an integral part of his identity. Autism framed the beautiful stained-glass window through which he viewed the world. It cruelly silenced the words Jeff longed to say, jamming them up between an active, alert mind and an inability to speak about his own thoughts and desires. Autism effectively erected a barbed wire fence, impeding others from seeing Jeff clearly and recognizing his inherent worth, keeping him forever separate.

Why then was he remarkable? First, Jeff endured years of being misdiagnosed as retarded and being regarded as such. Though he was of at least average intelligence, he faced being called retard regularly and being used for the amusement of others. A trusted adult violated him, taking advantage of his inability to express himself. He suffered from a heart condition, scoliosis and a brain tumor and had four major surgeries. He could not communicate effectively until he was sixteen, and the term effectively is being generous. He was so used to living inside himself that he didn’t know how to let the rest of us in. Yet through all this adversity, he never viewed the world as a hostile place. Jeff did not feel sorry for himself and always kept pressing on. He developed a strong faith in God and encouraged others to accept Him as well, receiving others with open arms, no matter how they viewed him, as he reasoned God would want him to. He forgave those who believed that because of the autism, his life had little inherent value. He had friends who loved him and whom he loved. He had positive family relationships with me, his dad, my parents, his dear brother and his wife, and most of all, his nephew and niece. He bought a house and lived relatively independently. Taking direction from God, Jeff even orchestrated and directed the circumstances of his own departure from this life. Through all of this, Jeff led me to see that normal is a relative term which can take many different forms. I did not need to work so hard at making him fit the typical normal. He was already so much better than that.

Once he discovered a medium for expressing his thoughts, Jeff’s fondest dream was to write the story of his life, including his deep faith, and the things he was able to accomplish to give perspective and hope to others affected by autism. Jeff’s intent was that those reading his story would see the world as he saw it … …a twisting kaleidoscope through which the awesome power of God worked with tiny multi-colored pieces of glass to form intricate designs. He saw that each piece of glass was unique, none were exactly like another but each had an important part to play in order for God’s artistry to be completed.

Unfortunately, Jeff was not able to accomplish his dream, as it was part of God’s design for him that he would experience a protracted and painful journey from this Earth to Heaven. He accepted his situation bravely and with grace. He touched many hearts as a result. I was and still am inspired by it! In conclusion, I feel