Blink: Finding Strength in the Struggle

By Christy Hardin

“For most of my life, I have been thinking I was in control of situations, people, outcomes, and reactions, and that if I just held on tight enough or forced my way enough, then everything would be okay.”

Follow Christy Hardin on her spiritual journey in this heart-warming, faith-filled book, as she shares how life’s challenges ultimately taught her to submit her control to God in order to grow her faith and her relationship with Him. Blink tells her story of being a teen mom and how she, after a failed relationship with a drug-addicted boyfriend and after having to make a traumatic, life-altering decision, went on to find the true love of her life and create a large, beautiful family. Hardin imparts how being a young, single mother, losing her father, and later accepting the diagnosis of autism for one of her children required releasing control and allowing God to be the center of all of her relationships.

Hardin’s transparency and vulnerability will not only bring you to tears, but will entice you to have more compassion for those around you and perhaps even investigate your own faith journey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 3, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973680949

Christy Hardin

Christy Hardin is the cofounder of Awaken Ministries, mentor of women, and is a lifelong learner. She has a passion to help others as they walk through various stages of life, pointing them to God, while finding opportunities to create genuine and authentic relationships with one another. She graduated from Liberty University with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology: Christian Counseling and a Master of Arts in Executive Leadership. Christy is near completion of her postgraduate degree from Liberty University in Education Specialist in Curriculum and Instruction/Elementary Education. Christy is married to her best friend, Rich, and stays busy with raising their six children in Virginia. She enjoys spending time at the beaches of the Outer Banks, NC, taking spontaneous road trips to unknown destinations, and spending time with her family. Christy is always ready to meet new and old friends for a good cup of coffee and catching up.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-8092-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8091-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-8094-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019919567

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/2/2019

Unless marked otherwise, all Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from The New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture quotations marked TPT are from The Passion Translation®. Copyright © 2017, 2018 by Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. ThePassionTranslation.com.

TO MY MOM

For your unconditional love and support.

TO MY HUSBAND

For being my best friend, biggest supporter, and loving me so well.

Foreword

Our world these days is filled with texts, emojis and short-cuts, and even with the multitude of self-help gurus and books, deep thought and reflection seem to be in short supply. We listen to each other mostly in anticipation of what we are going to say next. Having just retired from teaching high school, I can say that the simple art of conversation and reflection is somewhat of an outdated practice.

When my niece told me that she was going to write a book, I knew right away that she could do it, but when would she have time with such a large family? Time for reflection? How and when? Before long, she was ready for a bit of editing from her English teacher aunt. I knew her story, or so I thought, and was anxious to see how she crafted the story of her life.

Christy unveils her engaging story with totally relatable stories along with suspenseful moments that will shock and amaze readers. I know you’ll enjoy following her journey just as I did and still do to this day!

Mrs. Daphne Copeland Norton

Acknowledgments

I have to start by thanking my amazing husband, Rich. From reading early drafts to encouraging me to continue, he gave me great advice and was as important to this books completion as I was. It was fun walking down memory lane with you, my love.

Thank you to my mom, Phyllis for reading, rereading, making suggestions, helping me get through those tough chapters, and for always being there cheering me on. There are no words to describe how much I admire and respect you. Your love got me through and no matter what the future holds, I will always be by your side.

To my wonderful Aunt Daphne, for spending hours editing, talking through ideas, and for being a constant support for me through the years, no matter what. I love you and thank you so much for everything.

My twin, my first love who was sent to save me, my Ashley, thank you for forgiving me for all of my mistakes along the way as we grew up together. Your determination, strength, and love for life is inspiring and I know you will continue to change the world. I love you, Bubbie.

To my children, for bringing love, loudness, and laughter into our home. Your patience through this process has been wonderful and I love each of you so much.

Growing up with a sister that is eighteen months older than you can prove to have many adventures. Jennifer, I wouldn’t change those summers on the river shore with you for anything. Thank you for your encouragement and support through the years.

There are friends in life that become family and I am so thankful for mine. To my dear Awaken family who have stood by me through life and this process, providing prayers and support, thank you. I love each of you dearly.

There are times when you come across someone from your past that plays an integral part of your future. When my childhood friend began her company, I knew that she was the one who would help me make this dream into a reality. Thank you to my proofreader and editor, Mandy with BluProof for your brilliant ideas and suggestions.

Contents

Chapter 1     D-Day

Chapter 2     Twists and Turns

Chapter 3     From Karaoke to Colorado

Chapter 4     Life and Loss

Chapter 5     Freedom in Surrendering

Chapter 6     Outer Banks to the Rocky Mountains

Chapter 7     Free

Chapter 8     He Said She Said

Chapter 9     Identity Crisis

Chapter 10   Unanswered Prayers

Chapter 11   Unexpected Meetings

Chapter 12   Be Still

Chapter 13   The Great Awakening

Chapter 14   Puzzle Pieces

Chapter 15   Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Chapter 16   Words of Wisdom

CHAPTER 1

D-Day

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.

I sit here watching the cursor blinking, and there are a million things I want to say, but I am just staring at this black line going away and coming back.

An instant. One second. That is how long each blink lasts. If I watch it long enough, I can start to hear my heartbeat to the rhythm of the blink. If I am not careful, I could sit here for a long time just watching this thing go away and come back. It always comes back at the same time, the same speed, and the same size. I find myself counting in threes.

One. Two. Three.

One. Two. Three.

It doesn’t matter where I turn, self-help books, church sermons, leadership seminars, etc., the magical number seems to be three. If you follow these three steps, your life will be transformed. If you make these three changes, your life will be awesome. If you buy these three supplements, your health will be drastically improved. If you read these three books, you will find the success you desire. Somehow, we buy into the if we do x, y, and z, then we can obtain the feeling, thing, or accomplishment that we are searching for.

Somehow, it has become normal to leave little room for God to speak to us and instead take the word of someone else on how we can have a better life. We yearn for guidance through books, sermons, podcasts, blogs, vlogs, social media opinions, and others’ interpretations of scripture. We focus so much on listening for the three key steps that are coming, while writing like crazy to fill in the blanks of the sermon handout, that we could be missing what God is actually trying to speak to us. I think we do this because we live in an age where answers can be found in moments just by completing an internet search. The thought of waiting to hear from God, not knowing how long that might take, is difficult. Please don’t think that I am saying that sermons, podcasts, blogs, etc., are not important, because they are. We need as much Jesus as possible. In this fast-paced, want it now, overscheduled and overcommitted life, how much time is set aside to listen to Him and study His word? Are we listening so hard for those three steps that we miss what God is trying to show us? What He has for me to hear is not the same as what He has for you. While I am not trying to take anything away from or downplay the importance of the local church or pastors, churchgoers must realize that God is speaking through His spirit-filled Word. It is through 1) praying, 2) reading His Word, and 3) listening for His guidance, that we are able to make the decisions and choose the paths for us as individuals.

Three steps.

See how easy it is to do that?! I truly believe those three steps are the foundation of everything we do, but each step can be so hard.

It is in this moment of authenticity, of soul searching, that I realize that I am waiting for the blinking to stop, remain steady, or just disappear. With each blink, I feel like I am walking toward quicksand. There comes a time when the quicksand is approaching faster, and one step is a little harder than the last, endlessly waiting to become frozen in the sand, feeling unable to take another step. Then, surprisingly, the next step happens, and the next, and slowly the quicksand does not seem so hard to navigate.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you are just starting to step in the sand. Maybe you are already stuck in the sand. Or, maybe you just climbed out of the sand and are back on solid ground. No matter where you are, just keep moving, even if a little bit, so that you do not get stuck. Each part of your journey starts with that first step. Not three steps. Just one step.

Have you ever been in one of those doctor’s offices where you can feel the weight of their daily appointments? Delivering diagnosis after diagnosis to parents seeking answers for their children or for adults looking for answers for themselves. This particular office was comfortable and had a variety of seating options and toys to occupy children, and on this particular day, I was there to receive the results from a series of testing that would lead to some answers for one of my children, Molly. The doctor explained that the testing and evaluations indicated that she has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), and Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED). I went in armed with my smile and humor (I can be quite the comedian when the pressure is on), my pad of paper, and a pretty accurate expectation of what was coming. With the suggestions and help from the doctor, a treatment plan was crafted, there were steps to take with the school, and there was a sense of relief. I left feeling confident that my husband, Rich, and I could help Molly through this patch of quicksand and back onto solid ground.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder was something that was new for our family, but we have become more familiar as time passes. Molly is our petite, blonde, curly-haired, blue-eyed ball of energy. If you are imagining a firecracker exploding, then you have just imagined what an ODD or IED, or a combination of the two, outburst may look like from our daughter. Never underestimate the power, strength, and determination of a six-year-old. We have been working with a therapist using cognitive behavior techniques. Our bag of tricks is growing, and we are learning all about consistency, positive reinforcement, responsibility charts, and slow breathing, but the hardest one is not reacting to the outbursts.

Several months later, I found myself in the same office, with the same doctor, for a different child. This time felt different. Although I was pretty sure of the diagnosis that was coming for our daughter, Andrea, I was not prepared to hear it. In fact, I had done minimal research on the topic and felt kind of like sticking my head in the sand instead of walking through it. You know, if you don’t know then you can just ignore it. Once there was a diagnosis, then ignoring it would be impossible.

The doctor was professional as we were going through the results. She spent some length explaining the process in detail and how they use a variety of testing measures and answered my questions. She started with ADHD, which I suspected, and then moved on to ODD. Both of these were things that I had been researching and working with Molly on, so I felt confident that I could find ways to help Andrea as well. (Every time I hear ODD, I immediately think You down with ODD, yeah you know me! and then that classic song, with my added twist, gets stuck in my head thanks to Naughty by Nature. I digress.)

This is when time stopped and everything changed in an instant. D-Day. Diagnosis Day. The doctor stopped talking, leaned in with her elbows on her knees, and reviewed the last portion of the testing results and her diagnosis. Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) – Level 1 - formally known as Asperger’s. I am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t even know that there were different levels.

Armed with my pen and paper,