Coming Full Circle: A Journey to the Edge of Life and Back

By Suzanne Ruggles

In this book Suzanne shares a childhood vision which gave her the early clues for humanity’s interconnectedness with nature and the Higher realms. Nature as a repeated motif for hope, threads throughout her story. She arrived in the Emergency Department with septicaemia and a deadly form of meningitis and tracks back and forth through her life viewed from the reduced and darkened vantage point of her hospital bed, battling never ending hallucinations and skull shattering pain. A frank discussion with her doctor revealed it might be too late to avoid brain damage. As her condition worsened, in a dramatic unfolding of events she tells how she begged to be given the chance to live to finish her “beloved” patient project. She received an answer; the first of many heart-rending signs of Divine help and with it the realization that her life had come full circle.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: Dec 9, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982281069

Suzanne Ruggles

Suzanne Ruggles was a celebrated designer before a diagnosis of Lupus changed her life’s direction. Her experience led her to study the science of mind-body medicine in the UK and US and led her to establish an award-winning hospital project at a London teaching hospital. Six years later in a near-death experience caused by bacterial meningitis, she understood the importance of connecting with the Higher realm to support the living or the dying process. It was during this period the full scale of her patient focused project - which was still in its infancy -came into sharp focus. She was guided to understand that being in harmony with the earth and nature plays an essential role in health, recovery and resilient strategies for children and adults. Suzanne lectures widely in schools, universities and at clinical conferences. She holds a Master of Science (MSc) in Health Sciences from St George’s Hospital Medical School, London. A percentage of profits from each book sold will be donated to Full Circle Fund Therapies. www.fullcirclefund.org.uk

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Copyright © 2019 Suzanne Ruggles.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8107-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8105-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8106-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019919368

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/02/2019

CONTENTS

About the Author

Foreword

Prologue

Chapter 1 Splosh

Chapter 2 I Need to Ask for Your Help

Chapter 3 I Can’t Find My Nose

Chapter 4 Silver Birch Trees in Autumn

Chapter 5 Let’s See What Happens

Chapter 6 All in a Day’s Work

Chapter 7 Good News and Bad News

Chapter 8 Supper in Rome

Chapter 9 A Turning Point

Chapter 10 Learning to Walk

Chapter 11 A New Direction Presents Itself

Chapter 12 Coming to Hospital: an Unexpected Route

Chapter 13 What Do You Do?

Chapter 14 Healing Sounds: Part 1

Chapter 15 Garlic Soup for the Body and Soul

Chapter 16 (Not Always) Healing Sounds: Part 2

Chapter 17 Following a Light

Chapter 18 Drifting Away

Chapter 19 Letting Go

Chapter 20 Reminiscing

Afterword

We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.

—T. S. Eliot (1888–1965)

This book is

dedicated to my incredible family and friends, and to my very special colleagues at Full Circle. I am blessed to walk beside you all.

For the Children – let them lead the way

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

A t age 6, Suzanne had a vision of the Himalayas and of silver birch trees in autumn. As this vision unfolded in a way that her young mind could understand, she was shown that life was like a road with many junctions. She was guided, in precise detail, to understand this was a route towards another perfect reality. She was shown that challenges, when viewed from different perspectives – such as junctions or crossroads – are simply moments in which to pause and consider, ultimately giving us opportunities to choose our direction. At these junctions, and through the choices we make, we are able to navigate our soul’s journey.

In her twenties, Suzanne was a celebrated designer, featured as one of the top ten designers in London, Paris, and Milan. Her clients included Hollywood actors, ambassadors, royalty, and celebrities. At the height of her success, she was diagnosed with SLE (also known as lupus), a potentially life-threatening autoimmune illness. She eventually realised that this diagnosis was an opportunity to grow, so she embarked on a journey to find the best ways to manage her life with an incurable condition.

Years later her life was under threat again, this time when she contracted bacterial meningitis. She drew on all her knowledge and skills as she fought to survive, but as her condition worsened and the deadly infection took over her brain, she lost all control over her body. She left her body and floated towards the ceiling, held in a suspended state between life and death. Literally powerless to return, she realised the more she fought to hang on, the further away she seemed to drift away. At the moment she let go – ready to die – she received an extraordinary sign from above, a gift that would bring her back to life and bring her full circle.

This is a powerful, true story of a near-death experience. It describes how life’s challenges, when viewed from a different perspective, can guide us back to our soul’s purpose.

FOREWORD

I t is usually only in hindsight that one recognizes the hand of the divine in shaping our lives. I now know that my meeting with Suzie and Full Circle Fund Therapies was one of the reasons I moved to the UK. Suzie had started the charity at the same hospital where I was working, Our vision was the same- to create a healing environment where we could offer patients Integrative therapies we believed would help in healing.

My first meeting with Suzie was in January 2014, a few months after my relocation to London from the USA. We were settled in the USA for close to twenty years, with a staff position at Mayo Clinic, where I practiced Integrative Medicine.

A job opportunity allowing us be closer to our parents lay ahead. The uncertainty and fear of the future lurked, yet we knew it was the right thing to do, with our elderly parents there, and a chance to bring our children closer to their extended families. In fact, I visited my spiritual teacher in India and prayed deeply for an answer as I could not decide if the move was the right thing for us. On my return to the UK from India, a few days before I returned to the USA, I received a call from the CEO of St. George’s Hospital in London to hear that a job in Integrative Medicine would be created within the NHS (National Health Service), something unheard of in the UK. I knew I had to move to London.

After many meetings in the coffee shop, one day I asked Suzie her story.

What unfolded was profound, and with goosebumps and a knowing, I suggested to Suzie that she write her story. "Do you think people will believe me?’ I recall Suzie’s words… The name Full Circle had intrigued me, it was a name I was familiar with. As my spiritual master, Sathya Sai Baba said, ‘Scientists put their faith in machines. ‘The spiritual seekers place their faith in Mantras (spiritual chants). One is a scientist, the other is a saint. The saint believes in fullness. The scientist is content with half the circle. Spirituality represents the full circle.’ I shared my thoughts with Suzie on the name of the charity.

Full Circle Fund Therapies, represents Spirituality in Healthcare, a place where true healing occurs, a place offering evidence based integrated therapies, and staff caring for and serving patients…selflessly. Suzie’s commitment and passion to her vision is difficult to describe. She works with a knowing, a gentleness, and great love with whoever she encounters to fulfil her work. What has developed is a friendship beyond a work encounter.

What you are about to read may change your belief about health, the spiritual dimensions that exist in our wellbeing, our meaning and purpose on planet earth, and so much more. Be open to the possibilities of life, the synchronicities, and let health and healing occur for each one of us on this planet.

Thank you for the opportunity Suzie. May many people’s healing occur by sharing your story.

Dr Kavita Prasad BSc (Hons) MBBS FACP

PROLOGUE

Out of Nowhere

I don’t know if you’re calling me home, or if I am staying, I found myself saying in the darkness of my hospital room, my head pounding to the point it felt like it was breaking open, my temperature and fear levels rising out of control. But I continued with a strong sense that I had to add: If I’ve got any say in the matter and, I beg you, please, let me stay; there are so many things I need to do, to fi nish .

Part of me knew the grave danger I was in. That part of me knew I had to ask for help as every cell in my body was screaming with fear and pain. I had to ask for the biggest favour of my life. I thought, If I’m being called home, please help me, as I am so, so scared of dying. I don’t know how to die; I’m so afraid.

I felt powerless in the enormity of what I was asking for. It was as if I was standing in complete darkness, peering over the edge of a skyscraper-tall cliff, my toes already over the edge. I couldn’t move back. I knew then it was only a matter of time that I could remain here. I knew I wasn’t brave enough to just step off into the thick darkness stretching out ahead of me. I felt certain it was only a matter of time before I fell or lost my balance or, what seemed even worse, that I had to physically choose to step off the edge. I knew I wouldn’t do that willingly.

In that moment, as I asked for help for all I was worth, for the briefest of seconds I discovered I was in a glade of absolute light, and with it came a brief moment of clarity. I suddenly had the feeling that if I had to choose to step off the cliff, then that must mean I had a possible choice to stay. Right? Maybe? Possibly? I couldn’t lose time thinking this through without letting more time slip from my grasp. I followed a pencil-thin line of clarity that seemed to indicate I had a choice.

I noticed at this moment that my mind had, for a brief moment, shifted gear and found its way completely out of my conscious control, into neutral. I was momentarily free from all superfluous thoughts, my unending hallucinations driven by the mental gunfire and rocket launchers going off in my head; my survival flailing thoughts of what ifs and how can I survive?; will I have brain damage?; to the unavoidable realisation that I was dying. In no way did I feel I was ready to cope with any of this. Whether I liked it or not I was on a juggernaut and was careering out of control.

My increasingly frantic thoughts were suddenly silenced. My mind screeched to a halt. I was in a momentary ceasefire. The pain in my head did not – or could not – abate, but surprisingly, with my mind now in neutral and without any conscious control on my part, my thoughts were able to trail off and became firmly focused on my work. To my surprise, I found myself in the corridor where I worked, a specialist bone marrow transplant unit which treats patients with leukaemia and other life-threatening blood disorders. I was aware I was hovering about halfway up the corridor – at about eye level. The corridor was fully lit and I was hovering outside each of the rooms of the patients I’d told I’d see tomorrow. This was my beloved project, for which I had had big plans, but because of the range of complexities setting up an innovative project, as this one was, in any hospital, was still in its infancy. I was busy scything my way through what seemed like acres of red tape and protocol. I was still laying the foundations. I was seeing great support for my project from nurses and physiotherapists, who were essential to its success, but I understood that it would take a while longer for the majority of our medical teams to really understand the value of my project for their patients. I had always understood what I had to do, and all this was wrapped up in a big ribbon that I hadn’t even yet located – sustainable funding. As I saw it now, I was still miles from creating the blueprint to let people know how to carry it forward if I was gone. I hadn’t factored that at all in to my plans before.

‘You see?’ I continued, tears rolling down my cheeks, my heart actually hurting with a heaviness and inconsolable sadness, ‘I haven’t finished yet …’

CHAPTER 1

Splosh

We all hold a piece of the jigsaw but none of us can see the whole image. We need each other to complete the picture.

—Christopher Cooke

E arlier that week, an odd thing happened. It was a cold January day, and a clear blue sky crowned the Victorian buildings opposite the cafe where I was enjoying lunch with some friends. The pale yellow sun flooded through the windows. Outside, people scurried to and fro, heads bowed against the cold winter air.

Out of nowhere, inside my head I experienced a splosh of fluid. It entered the inner cavity of my right ear and seemed to fill it up, blocking my hearing. I wasn’t particularly alarmed, as I didn’t have any pain or discomfort. I just wondered what it could be and what was actually producing the fluid. It felt similar to going underwater, combined with how it feels when descending in an aeroplane. I didn’t realise it then, but time was now ticking towards a deadly outcome. A cocktail of bacteria were now able to travel backwards and forwards, unchecked across what is normally the semipermeable yet highly selective blood-brain barrier, in place to protect the brain from any molecules or microbes which could cause infection or damage.

I went to bed as usual that night. When I woke in the morning, I had a terrible headache. This was accompanied by high-pitched squealing noises coming from my right ear. My eardrum had burst in the night, and fluid had trickled down the side of my face and my jaw and onto my pillow. I went to the GP that morning, and she looked in my ear and concluded I had a very bad infection. I explained the fluid came from within my head, describing the large dump of fluid that had pooled inside my ear. Of course, my doctor said any large amount of fluid simply wasn’t possible.