The Tearless Woman: Molding a Victorious Generation of Women Without Tears

By Success J. Aondoawase

“Woman, why weepest thou?”

It’s a question women have often been asked because of their incessant and inexorable tears occasioned by enormous challenges confronting the womenfolk globally. Indeed, there is no sorrow comparable to women’s sorrow, which is done to them since the events of Eden.

In this book, Success J. Aondoawase unearths useful insights on the cause of violence against women resulting to untold hardship, pain, sorrow, and death in some instances. The book further provides useful strategies to overcome these attacks and live victoriously as tearless women. It’s a must read for all women, married and unmarried, small or great.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: May 24, 2019
• ISBN: 9781973663188

Success J. Aondoawase

Success J. Aondoawase and his wife, Praise are the Founding Pastors of true Worshippers’ International Gospel Centre, Makurdi; having pastored for more than a decade under Bishop David O. Oyedepo. His ministry is dedicated to helping people know the truth, so as to enable them make exploits in their life endeavors. He is a conference speaker, a teacher and author of several books including Combating Terrorism in the Contemporary Society. He was once a newspaper columnist in one of the national dailies. He travelled far and wide preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. He holds Master’s degree in Public Administration (MPA), at Benue State University, Makurdi.

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Copyright © 2019 Success J. Aondoawase.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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ISBN: 978-1-9736-6319-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-6318-8 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 05/20/2019

CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgement

Foreword

Introduction

CHAPTER ONE

Prime Target of Satanic Deceptions

CHAPTER TWO

Prime Target of Satanic Attacks

CHAPTER THREE

Overcoming Sorrows of Endless Waiting

CHAPTER FOUR

Overcoming Sorrows of Seeking Conception

CHAPTER FIVE

Dealing With Pregnancy Challenges and Travails of Delivery

CHAPTER SIX

Overcoming Sorrows of Insatiable Desire Towards Husband

CHAPTER SEVEN

Overcoming Sorrows of Being a Weaker Vessel

CHAPTER EIGHT

Healing Wounds and Heart Breaks of Divorce.

CHAPTER NINE

Healing Wounds and Heartbreaks of Bereavement

CHAPTER TEN

The Art of Wailing: Turning Sorrow to Blessing

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Rest From Sorrows

CHAPTER TWELVE

Gender Based Violence (Gbv)

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book: To my all time mentor and father in the Lord, Bsp. David O. Oyedepo; for the impact of his ministry in my life for the past 24 years.

To Bsp. T.D. Jakes, for the impact his books and messages have continued to make on my person; particularly the book, Woman thou art loosed.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

I would like to offer my unreserved gratitude to the Almighty God for letting His Spirit inspire me on this very important subject. Lord to you be all the glory.

I am very appreciative also of the notable personalities God has graciously placed around me to enable me realize His purpose for living. My greatest gratitude goes to the following: my dear wife and life partner, Pst. Mrs. Praise Mwuese Aondoawase, with whom I have shared the best part of life so far; and my Mother, Mama Iyough Tyav, who up till now still nurtures those tender loving care of a mother towards us, even though now 84 years old; my Mentors Bsp. David O. Oyedepo, Bsp David O. Abioye, and Bsp Thomas Aremu; all of living Faith Church; aka winners’ Chapel. I am able to see this far because I am standing on the sound principles they taught me. Thank you sirs.

God also brought us in to loving relationship with great men and women of God who have been channels of inspiration for us. I want to recognize and deeply appreciate the inputs of our early mentors, Rev. Dr. Tor Uja and his Wife Evag. (Mrs.) Berry Tor Uja of Mission House International, who took my wife and I through those days of discipleship training at Aper Aku stadium; ensuring we get rooted in the faith. I am particularly grateful to Pastor Alex Ilani and Bisp.Chivir Chianson for their ever encouraging words and prayers for us at all times.

I want to specially recognize and commend here the great works of her Excellency, Dr. Eunice Ortom, the wife of the Executive Governor of Benue State; for her efforts in alleviating the sufferings of vulnerable women across the entire state.

My profound gratitude to Prof. Nancy Agbe for her motherly compassion, who despite her tight schedule as an academic cum politician, still agreed to proof read the manuscript of this book, and write the foreword. Very special thanks goes to the entire family of Prof. Solomon K Agishi and Hon. Justice Dorcas V. Agishi, who have continuously shown passion towards this cause and have greatly encouraged us. A very warm gratitude also to the family of Prof. Terhemba Shija and Hon. Justice Theresa M. Shija for their invaluable encouragement. My esteemed brother Terhemen Tsetim, I appreciate your wonderful contributions for this project. My bosom friend Moses Ortswen, I highly appreciate your continued encouragements.

I want to say thank you again to our worthy partner Prince Solomon Tor Wombo. We also want to salute Dr Stephen Hwande and his associates at First Fertility Hospital for the information given us here. Mrs. Felise Humbe, the Atimejovs, Joseph Akosu, Mr Orjiir Gbande, and many others; we celebrate your unflinching support and continuous identification with our goals which is helping us to realize the divine call. The wonderful contribution of my sisters Miss Dooshima Adu and Iwanger Adu, with their mother Dcns Iveren F. Adu, to ensure that this book is fully typeset and made ready for publication, is greatly acknowledged.

Lastly, but certainly not the least, I want to specially salute the entire members of True Worshipper’s International Gospel Center; and every one out there who in one way or the other contributed to the completion of this project. God bless and reward you all.

FOREWORD

Pastor Success, the author of The Tearless Woman identified women with tears and has outlined causes for this phenomenon which he also proffered solutions.

The author stated that one of the main causes of women’s sorrow and tears is the eternal enmity between women and satan. This indeed is the foundation of every tears and sorrow. He cites examples of women in scripture who had suffered deception that has led to a lot of trouble in the world. Some of these women include, Eve, Sarah, Delilah, etc.

The author also outlined a number of issues that cause women sorrow and pain. These include parental refusal to educate the girl child, domestic violence, late marriage, strange children brought in by unfaithful husbands, bareness or delayed child bearing, societal discrimination, delay in conception, divorce, widowhood challenges, bereavement, violence, etc. The author in chapter 3 brings us hope by stating that deception and sorrow can be overcomed no matter the causes of the sorrow. Few of such overcoming strategies include: keeping a merry heart, breaking off the power of anxiety, keeping faith alive and depending on the Spirit of God for help. Other overcoming strategies include: walking in the spirit, setting affection on spiritual things and depending on the grace of God.

The author then dedicated a whole chapter to share the clues of turning sorrow to a blessing, and another to taking rest from sorrow. The book closes with a revelation of the origin of Gender Based Violence (GBV), and offers us imperatives that will lead to sustainable peace, and harmonious co-existence in the society.

The Tearless Woman is a must read for everyone, not just women, who is looking for revival that will lead to a peaceful society for all.

Prof. Nancy N. Agbe

Former Vice Chancellor

University of Mkar,

Benue State, Nigeria

INTRODUCTION

The late Legend King of Reggae music, Bob Marley and the wailers, wailed all through his career in the 70s and early 80s; for injustice, social and racial discriminations, oppressions of the poor, as well as all kinds of violence against the less privileged in his era. His lamentations were targeted against the perpetrators of those heinous crimes in the world which cause tears and sorrow to fill the hearts of the down trodden. In one of his popular tracks No woman No cry, Marley particularly identified women with weeping and sorrow; because he believed, they were the worst hit group in the society by those dehumanizing acts of injustice.

Today one finds it rather disheartening that those vices are still there and even worse than in Marley’s day; especially as it affects women: Coupled with the issues of gender discrimination and Gender Based Violence (GBV); which have attracted more verbal condemnations, than a strong commitment on the part of policy makers, to practically end it in our society. Thus the woman has continued to be a victim of societal ills that have kept drawing out tears from her bowels inexorably.

The truth however is, it’s not that women like shedding tears indiscriminately; circumstances surrounding them since Edenic days, determined this ugly trend. It was the fall in the Garden of Eden that pitched the woman face to face against the devil as his arch enemy. Thus the barrels of satanic attacks on the woman have continued unabated for God distributeth sorrow in His wrath (Job 21:17).

It is not surprising then that several people from the Old Testament to the New Testament like Elkanah, Prophet Jeremiah, angels of the Lord, and our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, all identified women with sorrow, grief, weeping and wailing. It was the man Elkanah who first asked a woman this great question rather probingly; Hannah, why weepest thou? The angels of God were next to ask the same question directing their inquiry at Mary Magdalene; woman, why weepest thou?. Not quite long the Lord Himself appeared, repeating the very words: Woman, why weepest thou? (Jon 20:13,15).

I find it hard to accept that, that was just an ordinary question and a stroke of coincidence. It is my firm belief that it was rather a statement of the obvious confronting the entire gender. Scriptures witness that there is no sorrow like unto women’s sorrow which is done to them by the wrath of God. But the good news is that by virtue of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, the price has been paid for every cause for which Satan might keep buffeting women with sorrow and grief.

Daughter of God, this book therefore will not just expose the reasons why you sorrow and shed tears easily, unlike your male counterparts; it will also reposition you to draw strength from the Lord, to overcome such emotional, social and other forms of crises, to live a victorious and happy life. As you read it therefore, ensure you also get more copies for other women, to help them overcome the maladies affecting the modern woman. God bless you.

CHAPTER ONE

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Prime Target of Satanic Deceptions

And the Lord God said unto the woman,…..(and) unto the serpent….I will put enmity between thee and the woman… Gen 3:13-15.

And Adam was not deceived but the woman being deceived was in transgression. 1Tim 2:14

Fundamentally, the cause of sorrow and tears in women is because of the eternal enmity that exists between the woman and Satan; which was as a result of the transgression in Eden. This sheer vindictiveness of the devil against the woman has several implications, which accounts for lots of sorrowful moments in a woman’s life. First of all being a prime target of Satan, the woman has continued to be a victim of deception over and over; in much the same way as Eve suffered in the garden of Eden.

And Adam was not deceived but the woman being deceived was in transgression. 1Tim 2:14u

That deception led to the transgression and fall of the entire human race: the consequences being the plague of sin ravaging humanity ever since; as well as many other plagues such as sickness and diseases, abject poverty and death. The deplorable living conditions of the human race today was not a creation of God; Satan’s deception with the woman’s willful consent invented it. And so sorrow entered the world and has been man’s daily experience.

Women in Deception

When the devil found out that the woman is a weaker vessel, and he could easily beguile her; it marked the beginning of series of deceptions the woman has continued to suffer over the ages by the hands of Satan. Almost every invention Satan has to introduce in the world, he beguiles the woman to do it. Observe the following:

1. Eve in Eden (Gen 3:1-7).

This deception, as we earlier said, led to the fall of the entire human race through sin. Satan beguiled the woman to introduce sin and death into the world.

2. Sarah in Canaan (Gen 16:1-4,11-12).

And Sarai said unto Abram, behold now, the Lord hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened unto the voice of Sarai. And Sarai Abram’s wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived. Gen 16:1-4

And the Angel of the Lord said unto her(Hagar) behold, thou art with child, and shalt bear a son, and shalt call his name Ishmael; because the Lord hath heard thy affliction. And he will be a wild man; his hand will be against every man, and every man’s hand against him; and he shall dwell in the presence of all his brethren. Gen 16:11,12.(Bracket mine)

Sarah’s (Sarai) deception led to the introduction of terrorism in the world through the child Ishmael. Today every nation of the world has a fair share of the gory activities of terrorism and insurgency; which has become a weapon of mass destruction in the hands of the devil and his cohorts all over the world.

3. Delilah in Philistine (Judg16:4-6).

And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of sorek, whose name was Delilah. And Delilah said to Samson, tell me, I pray thee, where in thy great strength lieth, and where with thou mightiest be bound to afflict thee. Judg16:4-6

4. Mother of harlots in the contemporary times (end time church) Rev 17:3-6; Jer 51:7-9.

So he carried me away in the spirit into the wilderness: and I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet coloured beast, full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns. And the woman was arrayed in purple and scarlet colour, and decked with cold and precious stones and pearls, having a golden cup in her hand full of abominations and filthiness of her fornication: and her forehead was name, MYSTERY BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH. And I saw the woman drunken with the blood of the saints, and with the blood of the martys of Jesus: and when I saw her, I wondered with great admiration Rev 17:3-6

And the woman which thou sawest is that great city which reigneth over the kings of the earth. Rev17:18

This woman called the mother of harlots, mystery Babylon the great is neither a particular woman living or dead, nor a particular city in any nation presently. She is a symbolic figure of the power and control Satan has over people and nations of the earth through his ministry of deception (1Jn5:19). That deceptive canopy hovering over the whole earth is responsible for all forms of filthiness and abormination going on in the earth such as idolatry, homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, prostitution, adultery and fornication; ritual killings for power and riches; sectarian killings, martyrdoms, lust for money and material acquisitions; lies, falsehood and deceptions; drug abuse and trafficking; marriage among siblings, abortions, kidnaping and robbery; baby factories and child trafficking; etc.

Of recent a young man in the eastern part of Nigeria got married to his younger sister, both are of same parentage (siblings). When people began to complain, he explained that in the Old Testament Bible, there were such incidences. That was his argument. But what they are ignorant of is that, they are being beguiled of Satan to their destruction. For in the same old testament, God commanded Moses and all his followers to avoid sex with one’s own blood relations; or that of his near kinsman such as his wife’s, sister, or mother’s sister; the sister to his father’s wife, brother’s wife, or uncle’s wife, etc. It was the reason John the Baptist rebuked king Herod for marrying Herodias, who was previously the wife of his brother(Philip Tetrach of Ituraea Lk 3:1).

For Herod himself had sent forth and laid hold upon John, and bound him in prison for Herodias’ sake, his brother Philip’s wife: for he had married her. For John had said unto Herod, it is not lawful for thee to have thy brother’s wife Mk 3:17-18

John the Baptist was referring to the law from Lev 20:21, And if a man shall take his brother’s wife, it is an unclean thing(abomination): he hath uncovered his brother’s nakedness; they shall be childless.

Therefore from the law of Moses till now, it is evidential enough that careless sex in all ramifications is forbidden by God; not to talk more of marrying one’s own sibling, which is worse off. It’s an abomination and outright disrespect for God and his word; and the consequence of such actions is perdition, except they repent and come out of that abominable relationship.

The era of grace does not mean God will condone sin, but it means God will forgive the sins that we have repented of and forsaken through Christ Jesus; instead of instant judgement; as it used to be the case under the old covenant.

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid! How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? Rom 6:1,2

And so till date, the devil has found women cheap prey for deception to carry out his ungodly activities in the earth. This is why one finds women easily deceived than men. You could prove this truth by sampling the activities of men and women in your community. How many men or women fall victim of evil people’s deceptive tactics? You would probably find more women as victims than men. But how can women overcome satanic deceptions, and not continue to fall prey to it?

Overcoming Deception

For the woman, and indeed all of mankind to overcome Satan’s deceptions, we must first of all be able to identify Satan’s motive and purpose for deception. For the scripture says, ….the woman being deceived was in transgression. 1Tim 2:14

From this scripture we will see that Satan’s main purpose of deception was to bring mankind into transgression unawares and destroy them eventually. For the thief cometh not, but for to steal, to kill, and to destroy….(Jn 10:10).

Here is the real motive of Satan’s deception. Therefore to thwart this sinister intention of the devil, the following tips could be of immense assistance.

The Power of Truth

The Power of deception is rooted in ignorance. Therefore, in a society where ignorance reigns supreme, there deception could be very strong and powerful. And even God’s people abiding in similar circumstances may not be spared from destruction due to their ignorance (Hos 4:6). However, in the face of knowledge (the truth), deception suddenly losses its effectiveness and becomes harmlessly weak.

All therefore, that one needs to know to disarm the devil of his deceptive devices is to understand that transgression holds no single benefit for life. It’s our total obedience of God’s word that guarantees liberty and peace. Once we begin to shun transgression and all forms of disobedience, due to our increased knowledge of the truth, then we are in position to destroy the sting of deception, and it could never hurt us any longer. For the word affirms further, ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free (Jn 8:32) Those who know the truth can never fall victim of deception.

Daughter of God, you will be allowing yourself fall into the trap of satanic deception, when you think that you could hold your suitor down to marry you by satisfying his sexual urge. Look around you, several ladies have tried that before you, only to end up with unwanted pregnancy; and it terminated educational pursuit of others. Worse still, some in attempt to deal away with the unwanted pregnancy through abortion, ended up killing themselves. What happened? They were in deception in the first place, when they transgressed the word of God in order to please the man.

A lot of good people in church are in deception by