I Give You Permission to Grieve for Your Dog: Workbook

By Michele Jarvis-Wonnacott

This book was created in a deep knowing that its words would change the lives of millions of people and their pets all around the world.

It is a place and a space for people to grieve the loss of their pet and a place to acknowledge that you are not alone in your pain.

This book will bring you to an understanding that the relationship does not end because your pet seems to no longer exist.

This important, life-changing book is about the passing journey between me and my dramatic, chaotic, wildest teacher in the world—my Weimaraner Mya.

Our relationship continues to this day, and I would like to invite you to believe that yours does as well.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Apr 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982225025

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 Michele Jarvis-Wonnacott.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-2501-8 (sc)

        978-1-9822-2502-5 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 04/08/2019

17732.png

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Mya’s Journal

Mya’s Story

Mya Comes Into Our Lives

Pepper Arrives

Mya The Weimaraner

Back To Pepper

Mya The Drunken Monkey

Mya’s Fear

Mya’s Walks

Mya’s Illness

The Pain

Mya’s Journal

Losing Mya

Other Dogs

Epilogue

Acknowledgements

About the Author

INTRODUCTION

My name is Michele Dawn Jarvis. I am 5 years old, an only child, and the result of what I understand to be a bit of a mistake. The time in life is somewhere around 1971 and my parents have just decided to allow a puppy to come into our lives.

missy.jpg

This wee angel was purchased for five dollars outside of the local shopping mall. My parents were led to believe that the puppy they picked from a box of assorted breeds was a cross between a Maltese and some sort of a Terrier. Perhaps this little female dog was also a bit of mistake, just like me!

As a family, we choose to name her Missy.

This spontaneous purchase may have been one of the most profound things my emotionally distant parents ever did for me as a child.

This fuzzy little black and white creature immediately becomes the love of my life and my best friend in the whole world. Missy shares every bit of reality with me. She dines with me, she protects me, she loves me, she sings with me, she follows me around from place to place and becomes the only thing that brings me true joy and peace. In a very real way this new dog, this lifesaver, is the motivation for all that I will become.

meandmissy%20copy.jpg

One of my fondest memories of Missy is of the two of us lying in the sun on the staircase that led up to our front door. Our ritual was to lie together and soak in those very first springtime rays of warm and nourishing sunshine. We would bask in silence and simply let the world float away. This ritual has become a very integral part of the first sign of sunshine each Spring of my life to this very day.

Missy’s unconditional love fuels me through the following years, especially during the times when I forget how to do this for myself. She sits continuously for hours and listens to me sort out my life and all the unforgiving things that show up within it. She diligently does all of these things for me and more right up until the day that she passes away. At the time that she passes I just happen to be the very hormonal, confused and destructive age of 18.

Today, at 48 years old, I awaken from a deep meditation and recognize that Missy was my introduction to the world of dogs. In her passing I ended up losing myself too.

At the time, I had no way to grieve. There were no teachers to help me through the loss and no one to tell me that she would be beside me for the rest of my life. There was no one to tell me to watch for signs of her and no one to explain that Missy (or any loved one) will never, ever really go away.

My shattered and confused teenage-self tried to get through that great loss by shutting everyone out. I turned to excessive exercise, drugs, alcohol and overbearingly loud music in attempts to drown out my own deep, deep sorrow. There was little in my life except darkness, anger, and blame. I just recognize all of these facts today and today just happens to be thirty some odd, long, bumpy, grief and filled years later.

Not having the understanding to grieve the loss of something I loved so very much just may have been the catalyst for me to never allow myself to love anything or anyone like that again. It may also be the reason that I have been so afraid for so long to allow anyone to get too close to me. Perhaps with this recognition I will have the ability to heal my heart so I can love openly, starting today.

At this point in my life I find myself opening up to the idea of loving everything in the way that I loved Missy. I understand that the change in my personality might be confusing to those up around me yet I’m ready to let go of a lifetime of pain and open up to unconditional love without the fear of loss. I realize now that I have not lost anything with Missy’s passing. I have only gained from the power of loving her. She hasn’t gone anywhere as her memory stays with me in everything that I do.

I finally find myself ready to forgive.

I’m ready to forgive my mom for not knowing how or when, to share Missy’s passing with me.

I’m ready to forgive my dad, who cried in front of me for the very first time as he told me how in her last moments how he had held her and how he felt that he failed her.

I’m ready to forgive myself for not supporting my baby sister through the loss of her very best friend too.

I’m ready to forgive life for taking such an incredible being out of my reality and instead be grateful for knowing her.

I’m ready to be grateful for every single moment that I got to share with her, including this very moment here today.

Crying through the tears, writing through the pain, I am being so strongly guided to the truth that this book is now the catalyst for that which I am about to become.

I can tell you that this book won’t be a book for the faint of heart. It also won’t be a book for those who think dogs are just dogs. It is a book for those who feel brave enough to face the pain of the loss of their animal companions. It is a book for those who know that their furry friends are sentient beings in a dog suit.

It goes out to each and every person who has lost their dog and at the very same time has lost part of their soul. It goes out to all of those who have family and friends who don’t understand that a dog is more than just a dog and to those compassionate people who love their dogs beyond what seems like all logical reason.

Most importantly, it goes out to all those who feel they will never invite another dog into their lives again because they cannot bear such overwhelming and all-encompassing loss ever again.

Although this story begins with Missy so many years ago, it is a story that has been affected by all of the dogs that have been a part of my life. In my journey from dog lover to dog trainer to animal communicator (and to whatever