Breaking Free and Healing the Heart Workbook: Overcoming Obstacles to Healthy Relationships

By Sydney Gienty M.A. LMHC

This workbook has been written to help individuals walk into healing when life has thrown them curveballs, and they have a desire to get their life back on track. The teaching will help you obtain all God has for you. Jesus promises in his Word that he will heal your heart and set you free. The workbook will show you the steps to obtain that healing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781512780451

Sydney Gienty M.A. LMHC

I am a licensed Christian counselor who has been in private practice for thirty three years. I received a Master of Art degree in Individual and Community Psychology from St. Martin’s University in 1988. I have worked extensively in the areas of Marriage and Family counseling, domestic violence, sexual abuse, and drug, alcohol and sexual addition. I have taught seminars regionally, nationally, and internationally. I developed and facilitated a comprehensive marriage program that has resulted in many individuals and marriages being healed.

Book preview

BREAKING FREE AND

HEALING THE HEART

WORKBOOK

Overcoming Obstacles to Healthy Relationships

SYDNEY GIENTY, M.A., LMHC

(Individual, Family, and Marriage Counselor)

Olympia, Washington 98502

[phone]

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Copyright © 2017 Sydney Gienty, M.A., LMHC.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked MSG are taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Scripture quotations marked TLB are taken from The Living Bible copyright 1971. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 byThe Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-8046-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-8045-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017904918

WestBow Press rev. date: 04/10/2017

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Beauty for Ashes—Testimony

Commit Yourself to Healing

Offenses

Trust

Hope Against All Odds—Testimony

Forgiveness

Judgments

Vows

Belief Systems and Strongholds

Defeating Sinful Thoughts, Behaviors and Pride

Saul Attitudes

How the Enemy Works

Destruction to Victory—Testimony

Traits of a Healthy Family

Seven Principles for a Biblical Family

Symptoms of a Dysfunctional Family

Delivered from Addiction—Testimony

Characteristics of an Addictive Personality

Addiction

The Fool

Delivered from Pornography Addiction—Testimony

Sexual Addiction

Anger Was Destroying Me—Testimony

Anger

Anger in Marriage

The Abuse Cycle

Depression

Feeling List

Resources

Workbook Order Form

Endnotes

This book is

dedicated to the Lord Jesus Christ, who is the author and finisher of our faith.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author wishes to acknowledge that without the help of my husband, children and many faithful friends this manuscript would not have been completed.

I have grown spiritually every step of the way and have learned more about Jesus and His love, power, and grace. I wish to thank my faithful, loving husband for supporting, encouraging, and instructing me as I undertook a task that seemed insurmountable. Through my children, God has taught me that His principles work, and He is faithful to fulfill His promises.

Throughout the writing of this manual, my friends have supported and helped me. They have edited, contributed insight, and encouraged me to keep going when it would have been easier to quit. I deeply appreciate those individuals who have been willing to share their testimonies about God’s miraculous power in their lives.

May God bless each of you.

FOREWORD

I’ve been using Sydney’s materials with my clients for years—ever since it helped me receive healing for my own emotional wounds. For years prior, I struggled with issues related to my own history of woundedness. Despite my best efforts, I could not seem to overcome the perpetual hurt that I carried inside. It was a pain that affected my ministry, my marriage, and my walk with God. I had already spent thousands of dollars in counseling fees and dozens of weeks of intense personal reflection. All of those counselors taught me something useful and even important about how to manage my pain. Sydney showed me how God would take it away for good. My journey in life was probably something like yours … really painful. I didn’t see the use for Biblical counseling beyond what I had already received. After one more go around with my wife during a season of unemployment and financial struggles, I couldn’t see what Sydney could do for me that all those previous counselors couldn’t. I told my wife, I don’t want to spend more time and money on more ineffective counseling that’s only going to dredge up a lot of pain as I spend weeks staring at my naval. But with my wife’s pressure and the Holy Spirit’s guidance, I relented. I am so glad I did! Going through this material and applying the principles that are taught has definitely been one of the best decisions of my life.

Beyond the freedom of releasing my personal baggage, I have experienced the joy of using this material and seeing life after life transformed as I witness the wounds of my own clients being completely erased. I’ve seen God work intensely in their lives as we apply the Scriptures to their situations. Old, crusty solders grow loving. Scared and guarded women grow bold. Broken lives and marriages get restored. It’s exciting stuff, real early Church, New Testament Holy Spirit power. I know I am writing checks here that only God can cash, but how can I help it when I’ve seen Him work through the very same material in this book time and time again? You need to do the work like I did and apply this material to your life. I haven’t been disappointed. I don’t believe you will be either.

Chaplain Jason Haddock

United States Army

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It was because of consistent years of marital difficulty and strife that my husband and I went to Sydney. Instead of working with us as a couple, she worked with us individually using Scripture to address our woundedness, and how that was affecting our outlook and behavior. The Holy Spirit used Sydney to show me I was developing a stony heart toward my husband. Many of the issues I thought were all him were really my own issues that I had been oblivious about, even after going to several other Christian counselors. When Sydney guided me through forgiving those who had caused my woundedness and prayed Jesus’ healing over me, I felt God’s love and presence wash over me like I had never known before. True inward, life-changing healing was the result. Issues I had struggled with for years were dissolved.

It has now been several years since that healing experience. Time has proven that this was not just a temporary thing. I don’t have the anxiety, need to control, or destructive language that I used to have toward my husband and children. Where my marriage was once marked by strife, distance, high blood pressure, and accusations, it is now filled with love, unity, peace and grace. God used Sydney and her understanding and application of Scripture in a mighty way to heal my life and marriage. God wants to do this for you too. I praise God for this book and for how He is going to use it to heal many more lives.

Linda Haddock

INTRODUCTION

For many years, I have had the wonderful privilege of praying for many of God’s people for emotional healing. I have seen God heal and restore individuals and couples in amazing ways. I have come to know my God as a loving Heavenly Father who meets His children’s needs in a way that is always unique and special to them. The testimonies enclosed in this workbook reveal God’s power and His uniqueness. Many times as I am praying for someone, I know that God is ministering to them, but I have no idea how. Sometimes God just brings a deep peace. Other times He gives them a vision, or they simply feel a deep release or a burden taken by the Spirit of God. Whatever God does, it is life changing and permanent. I can only praise Him for His faithfulness and abiding love. The greatest privilege in life is to serve our Lord and Master, Jesus Christ.

God wants to heal His children emotionally and physically, but the greatest healing comes when we receive God’s Son, Jesus, as our personal Lord and Savior.

To receive Jesus into your life and have the assurance that your sins are forgiven and you will spend eternity in heaven with Him, simply requires that you ask Him to come into your life and be Lord of your life. Say the following prayer:

Jesus, I acknowledge that I am a sinner. I ask You to forgive me of all my sins and to come into my life. I believe that You died for me on the cross, and that You rose again on the third day that I might be saved and my sins washed away. I know that You will come again, and I will live with You forever. I choose this day to live for You, Jesus. Thank You for saving me from my sins.

For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God. (John 3:17-21 NIV)

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16 NIV)

If you declare with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, ‘Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.’ (Rom. 10:9-11 NIV)

As the scripture says, Anyone who believes in Him will never be put to shame. Trust in Jesus today, and ask Him to come into your heart. The testimonies you will read about in this workbook are the miracles that God has done for those who have surrendered their heart to Jesus and have been saved from their sins by a living, ever present, loving Lord and Savior. Will you join them and receive a relationship with the Lord that will change your life? Ask Him today to come into your heart and be Lord of your life.

BEAUTY FOR ASHES—TESTIMONY

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A young woman who was broken emotionally, spiritually and physically writes the following story. God met her right where she was and completely set her free. She tells only part of her story here, but what she shares gives you a glimpse of how God met her in a powerful way. God did for her what no human could ever do. He not only healed her, but He miraculously revealed His power and presence to her. God will do the same for you because He loves you and died for you.

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"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,

because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted."

—Isaiah 61:1 NIV

In my state of mourning, I had given up on God. I had decided that He had given up on me a long time ago, and now I was done with Him. If God was trustworthy, all-knowing, and all-powerful, then why didn’t He care about me and the pain I was in? Anything to do with God angered me. At church, the praise made my heart feel like stone. Was all hope gone? I had been in church my whole life. I had even been in the ministry. But I never dared to confront God with the truly hard questions. Where was God? Who was God? And why didn’t I have a childhood filled with love, laughter, and innocence? Little did I know that Christ would soon be blessing me with comfort to my soul.

"To proclaim freedom for the captives

and release from darkness for the prisoners."

—Isaiah 61:1 NIV

I lived through a unique captivity where the sins of past generations were carried onto me. I was born into a family that was already maxed out emotionally and financially. I grew up in a house filled with anger, rage, deceit, and chaos. It was survival of the fittest. Being the youngest, I wasn’t the fittest. But by the grace of God, I was a survivor. Growing up I never felt I belonged or was wanted in the family. My parents were struggling with their own lives, unable to give me the attention I longed for. I learned in most part to stay out of the way. I watched from an emotional distance, wanting someone to notice there was a hurting child who needed a tight hug, who needed a gentle smile, and who needed to know that life wasn’t going to destroy her. In the midst of all the anger and chaos, I would try to disappear, only to be found by my older brother who physically, emotionally, and sexually abused me. My brother would tell me that I was what was wrong with our family. It wasn’t like this before you were born, he would say. It was like a sword through my heart. You don’t deserve to live for what you’ve done to our family, and someday I will kill you. And I believed him. He would beat me if I crossed him, or at times he would hit me for entering the room he was in. He would dig a hole in the backyard to my measurements and put me in the hole. It was so narrow that I