Ur Not Wise Lad

By Gary McGilloway

This story starts of with me talking to a friend about an idea that I have going through my head.

Its about two men who become friends after meeting at support group for out of work Terrorist. The two men only know each other by nick names like Orange Crusher an Green Avenger. When they finely learn each other’s name, they have at least become somewhat close.

Orange Crusher is King William King and Green Avenger is Kiral O’Tool. He’s a real spanner. William gets shot by Kiral’s brother, Patrick who has taken a real spite against William just be cause he’s a Protestant. A friend of William’s comes back from England where he was living for years. William finds out that his friend, Scott, has Cancer and has come home to die.

A lot of secrets start to come to light some of Scott and William’s wife, Jane. But the worst of all is about William and Scott and Kiral’s parents. But before all that, Kiral’s daughter, Mary, gets attacked and ends up in Hospital in a coma after been kicked in the head by three little thieving bastards.

William offers his help to Kiral to get the wee fuckers

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Feb 22, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728385006

Gary McGilloway

Hi my name is Gary Mc Gilloway. I live in Derry/Londonderry Northern Ireland. I am 53 years old coming on 54. I have taken two years to write this and then nearly another two to get the courage to send it in for publishing. This is not easy in anyway. I was Diagnosed with Fibromyalgia back in 2005. I can tell you this is not a fun thing to have. You suffer with Brain Fog Anxiety Stress Depression an you get as tired as hell. you have no control over any of it. But this book give me a bit of a laugh writing it. I hope you get a laugh reading it as its not to be taking seriously. I just want to mention one very special person my wee auntie Pat, Patricia Alice McGilloway. She gave me the courage to go for it. I’m just sorry she is no longer with us.

Book preview

UR NOT

WISE LAD

GARY MCGILLOWAY

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AuthorHouse™ UK

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© 2019 Gary McGilloway. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/20/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-8499-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-8500-6 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

W HAT’S HAPPENING HI. AH same shite different day. Aye tell me about it.

Gone tell me this lad did you ever get a day when you have a tune in your head and you just cant stop singing the fucking thing. Aye.

What song is driving you crazy. Awe its not a song its a fucking story that keeps going through me head. Aye what about. Its about two eejits. One of them is a protestant and the other a catholic. Aye I heard them stories before. Is it true. Naw Its fictional and I think funny its not all funny. Well why don’t you judge for yourself. Gone lets hear it then.

These two first meet at a paramilitary support group for out of work terrorist’s.

Well ye know there’s not much work about anywhere these days.

So on whey the story no one knows anyone’s name at first. They all just use nick names to start with such as.

You can guess. Orange Crusher is the protestant and the Green Avenger is the catholic. I know I haven’t a fucking clue where these names come from either.

But why don’t we just run with them for now.

Well these two eejits go for a pint after their support group meeting and they start talking about their live’s their wives an kids. They find that they both have daughters of the same age. Green Avenger then starts ranting an raving saying we might have at least one thing in common but that doesn’t change anything between us rite. Whatever you say lad.

Anyway Green Avenger was saying to Crusher you know by no means will I give up on my fight against the British Government. I will fucking fight anyway I can. And the way I will do this is by telling my people to keep fighting for their Ireland. He will tell them the fucking best way to do this is to hit the British we’re it hurts them the most rite in the fucking pocket.

I know he does fucking waffle on a bit an also uses a lot of bad language.

But he said he will tell his people to claim unemployment benefit while they work. He will tell them to claim housing benefit.

We will claim child benefit. We will have lots of children.

We will claim sickness benefit. We will claim Derry living Allowance.

You mean Disability Living Allowance. I know what I meant Orange Crush.

Its Crusher Orange Crusher you fucking big Green Snotter.

Fuck you you Orange twat.

Whoa whoa Whoa wait wan fucking minute hi. Lets just calm ourselves down we’re all supposed de get on wae each other nowadays.

Well I still say fuck you. OK then fuck me fuck you fuck everyone.

Now can we get on and finish our pints and act the way we’re supposed de.

Aye rite no problem. Fucking orange twat.

Look lad why don’t we just take a look at Mc Guinness and Robinson they’ve taken on a heavy load. Aye your rite those two would know how de con a pound or two out of the government. That’s not what I meant.

Ah come on you orange twat I was only joking.

Tell me this you said earlier you will have lots of children. To rite lad just think of the money we get for every child we have.

Tell me this why do prods have no more than two wains.

Ha now you’re fucking having a laugh. We should have the same as they do in China no more than wan child per family. Why. Because I find children bloody hard work.

From the day their born its nothing but sleepless nights. You worry about them been sick. You worry about their first day at school. Their first boyfriend or girlfriend. Moving onto university even when they end up in prison.

Well I told you Crusher that’s why we have lots of children mostly for the money. And once we have one old enough we teach them to look after the rest. Its handy for when your lying in bed with a hangover. Your not joking are you. No way lad. Look if you want I can show you what forms to fill in for whatever benefits you can con out of them fuckers.

Fuck me does this mean we have just become friends. Don’t push your luck lad. We have a long way to go yet but it is a start.

Awe the next you know we’ll be sitting sewing dresses and talking about the good old days.

I don’t remember them as good old days. Aye I know.

Some months later the pair are getting on well they even know each others real name. Green Avenger is O’TOOL. KIRAL O’TOOL and Orange Crusher is KING. WILLIAM KING. They both still meet up at their monthly support group.

Then they go for a pint at a near by pub. William says to Kiral. Thanks very much pal. That help you give me was a great help indeed. The wife she was able to get the high rate DLA. You know there’s fuck all wrong wae her but a slight pain in her hip. Naw she went to the appeal board with our daughter and told them that she cant stand long so her daughter has to do the cooking cleaning shopping and she is only Eleven years old. They asked her about me she said no he doesn’t live wae us no more. He’s out drinking wae his mates all the time. He just keeps his money for the pub and the bookies. You were rite see if she had told them the truth we would have got fuck all. She even lied her head off on the claim form as well. You stick with me lad and I will have you claiming everything you can. I’m only helping you because it sticks it to the Government.

Don’t fucking start that again. I’m only fucking messing wae you. Ye orange twat.

Kiral I know we have talked about some stuff at our support group.

But can I ask when you were active in the RA did you do anything really bad.

Aye I did things I’m not proud of. If you’re asking me did I ever kill anyone. Naw.

I did have to do punishment beatings and shootings.

There were some bad bastards that did deserve it. But there were some stupid young fellas I think would just need a kick in the arse instead of a couple of bullets in the back of their legs.

There was one time I did drive a van wae mortars in it and parked it near a police station. Just down the strand road. I had nothing to do with the mortars been fired. I remember that. There was no one killed just some injuries and a lot of damage. So that was the Green Avenger. Fuck you.

Kiral goes on to tell William about the first time he was given a gun and told to knee cap some cunt. I was so fucking nervous I had the gun tucked down the back of my trousers an when I reached round to grab it I ended up fucking shooting meself in the arse. The cunt I was supposed to shoot was lying laughing his fucking head off on the ground. The bastard anyway. What the fuck are you laughing at. Its fucking funny lad. Just think your lucky you didn’t have the gun tucked down the front of your trousers you might not be called Kiral any more. You might now be known as Karen.

Will you stop fucking laughing fuck ye.

You tell anyone what I told ye and you’ll be my first murder.

Naw I know man. Didn’t we take an oath at our support group.

Aye didn’t we take an oath when we joined up as well.

We were young and fucking stupid then.

Aye well you can blame the fucking Good Friday Agreement all peace and love to everyone now. What a load of bullshit. You cant say this flag shite that’s going on in Belfast doesn’t bother you. Its not just Belfast they’re bringing it down to our Streets. And aye it does fucking bother me. Northern Ireland is supposed to be British so why fucking not. I cant see why City Hall or Stormont can’t fly all the fucking flags they want or need. See what you got me started on now.

Awe aye. I love watching the prods moan. We can wind you cunts up the best lad. Go fuck yourself ye WINKER. The pair of them sit and laugh again.

A few more months pass an guess where William is. Hes sitting with Kiral over in the Bogside Inn pub.

Kiral says to William did you ever think you would be sitting in a place like this one day listening to Irish music. Never in my life lad.

Its not that bad is it. Naw I can live with this. Hi Kiral do you ever think this trouble will ever end. Jesus I hope so. But its those cunts across the border that are trying de keep it going now.

I would love de see it end altogether. Not just for me but for my kids.I don’t know about you mate but when I was a kid I was shit scared at times. I would lay awake at nights waiting for a petrol bomb de come through me win-da.

Even walking de school I was told de watch out for them fenian fuckers for if they get you by yourself they will kill you. I don’t want that for my children no way. And I’m sure you don’t want that either. Naw no way lad but I can tell ye It was the same for me to when I was a kid. Me and my four brothers and three sisters all slept in the back bedroom. We would all be scared whenever we would hear the noise of the police and army landrovers race in de or street.

It wasn’t the first time or door got kicked in.

The police and army would come in de our house and even our bedroom wae there fucking guns. We would be shouting for our ma and da and we would all get on to one bed some of us would be crying some praying.

One of my brothers would be shouting at the police and army yous fucking bastards get out of my das house. Then we would hear the neighbours all out in the street. They would all start rioting throwing bricks and bottles.

Then the women would start rattling binlids against walls footpaths an the road that would bring all the bogside out then that would make the trouble go on for a couple a days non-stop.

Jesus man I cant say I had anything like that. But that’s what I’m talking about.

I don’t want de see that for my kids. Well not everyone thinks like that.

Do you ever listen de some of the teenagers now.

Awe we had some fucking craic lastnight man. We where fucking throwing bricks, paint, and petrol bombs. They all think this is great because its someone else’s street there wrecking their not having to live in the street where its happening. Little fucking winkers.

Look we may have got into some fucking bad shit. But there’s no way I’m having my kids involved in anything that I was mixed up in.

You know what its like yourself. You always fear the knock on the door it can either be the police or some cunt out de make a name for himself by putting a bullet in your head.

Kirals phone rings. What-What When. Where are you now.

Rite I’ll be there now. William asks what’s wrong.

Some fucking bastards have attacked my Daughter. Is she ok.

She’s being taking to the hospital. Fuck sake man I’ll come with you.

I have to collect the wife first.

When they get de the hospital the Doctor takes kiral and his wife Maureen into see their daughter. They see her connected up to life support.

The doctor tells them that their daughter is in a Medical Induced coma.

She has received some blows to her head. That has caused swelling in her brain.

She stopped breathing Twice that’s why she’s on life support.

We will have to wait 24 to 36 hours to see how much of the swelling goes down before we think of trying to waken her. We will make sure she is kept comfortable . MR O’TOOL I think the police are waiting outside and they would like to speak with you an your wife.

They will be able to tell you more about what happened.

When they leave their daughters bedside they are met outside by the police.

Mr and Mrs O’TOOL my name is constable POLLY COTTON. And this is constable WILLIAM HILL. We believe your daughter has been attacked just of Society Street in the cityside.

What do you mean attacked. Well Mr O’TOOL we received a call that a young girl has been attacked by three young men. We arrived on scene within moments. As we got there we found your daughter unconscious.

There where no signs of anyone else.

But a woman has come forward with a description of three young men,

Wore they teenagers or men. I’m sorry Mr O’TOOL I haven’t seen or witness statement yet. The doctor has told us your daughter is in a coma.

Aye she is and if I find out who those bastards are I will kill the fuckers.

Now Mr O’TOOL just leave the law to take care of this we don’t want to arrest you when your daughter needs you. I’m fucking telling you I get my hands on them fuckers I will do time for what I fucking do to them.

William had already left the hospital.

Kiral