Forever . . . Johnny and Me

By Christina Jantz

Johnny. When I speak the name out loud I feel his arms around me. I feel him holding me in that last embrace in the park in Kansas. I stand with tears on my face, he with tears in his eyes. I can feel his hand softly brush away my tears. I see his encouraging smile, urging me to smile too. We continue to walk to the corner where he’ll leave me to walk on alone to the bus station and the bus which will take him out of my life. He reassures me that soon, we’ll be together again. It wasn’t supposed to end like that. Some people get a second chance at happiness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jan 1, 2019
• ISBN: 9781982218331

Christina Jantz

Christina Jantz is a retired real estate broker living in California. Her life has been filled with romantic encounters, some of which were very unusual. One of these stands out from all the rest.

Book preview

Forever …

Johnny

and

Me

CHRISTINA JANTZ

27501.png

Copyright © 2019 Christina Jantz.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.balboapress.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1832-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-1833-1 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date: 12/29/2018

Contents

Part One

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Part Two

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Part Three

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Part One

Chapter 1

I WAS THRILLED AT THE THOUGHT OF GOING TO LINCOLN, Nebraska with Patty and her father, Jed. He had worked there, before coming to my hometown in Kansas. bringing his only child with him. His job as a Caterpillar operator on a road construction crew took him to new towns in different states on a regular basis. Whenever that particular job was finished he would move on with his daughter, Patty. Jed’ wife, Patty’s mother, had died several years before, so now it was just the two of them living a nomad-like existence, going from apartment to apartment or rooms to rooms in one town after another. In Lincoln they had lived in the same building as Roger’s family, and this was where they planned to spend Christmas. And I was going with them.

Patty and I had become best friends, when she introduced herself, soon after the beginning of the school year. We were in the ninth grade but far older than our years.

What’s your name? Patty asked me one day during lunch period. It’s Lois, isn’t it?

Yeah, but I don’t like that name. I go by Christina or Chris. What’s yours?

Patty, but I like ‘Carmen’ . We each nodded in amiable camaraderie.

Hey, you want to hang out with me? I don’t know anybody in this town. We just moved here last month. Her evident loneliness and straightforward approach was appealing and flattering.

Sure.

And so, our friendship began. I often wondered why; Patty was much more knowledgeable about life than I was. All that I knew of anything other than my drab existence was what I had gleaned from a few movies and the movie star magazines that an older neighbor girl, Goldie, gave me when she was finished with them. I would absorb with gusto the articles and pictures that told about the lives of movie stars and the beautiful homes that they lived in and clothes that they wore. But Patty had traveled a lot and had seen much more of the big world that had to be more exciting than the drab, boring town in Kansas where I lived. I would have thought she would consider me a hick. Maybe she liked the fact that she could brag to me and introduce me to things that she knew about. She always found in me a rapt listener and an avid learner. I always felt that Patty was teaching me and protecting me, like a big sister. I admired her for her guts and confidence and her resilience. I think she could have done anything she wanted to do.

Patty was a risk taker. I found this out when we strolled through the grocery store during our lunch hour one day and the store manager stopped us on our way out. Open your jacket! he growled at Patty.

Patty unzipped her black leather jacket and at least a dozen candy bars fell out. I wasn’t even aware that she had stolen them.

Now, you go on home and I’m going to let your parents know that you’re a thief, he said as he scooped up the candy.

I didn’t know how he planned to do this since he didn’t know where she lived or even who she was. Maybe he thought this would be enough of a scare and would discourage her from stealing again. But it didn’t work. Patty managed to get her entire wardrobe from two department stores without paying for it. I followed suit by stealing some lacy underclothes for my mother, which I planned to give her as a Christmas present. She didn’t wear things like that because she would never have spent the money on herself that those frivolous things would have cost but I thought she should. have them. I didn’t have any money either so I just helped myself. But my thoroughly honest mother found them in my dresser drawer where I had hidden them until I could wrap them as presents. She deduced what I had done since I didn’t have any money to buy those things. She asked me straight out and I confessed. She told me to take them right up to the store and give them back. I headed up to the department store with a sack of undergarments and worried all the way up there about how I was going to get rid of it. I didn’t want to just throw it away but I didn’t want to come face to face with a worker in the store either and have to explain it. Arriving at the store, I opened the door and looked around to see if anyone was watching me. Seeing no one paying any attention to me, I stealthily laid the sack on a counter just inside the door of the store. My mother never spoke of the incident again.

Chapter 2

I WAS DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY. THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME I HAD been any farther away from my home, than forty miles when we would go to visit my grandmother. We would all load up in my dad’s old car: my mom and dad and my brothers and me on a Sunday and drive the forty miles to where we would see aunts and uncles and cousins. They brought with them a variety of dishes: food which they would contribute to the noontime meal, ‘dinner.’ I loved tasting different things, food that was not my family’s usual meager fare. I hated monotony. I was always looking for something different to help me escape from my dull life, something unusual. And a trip to a big city like Lincoln was exciting to think about. It was even in a different state. And 200 miles away! Patty and I chattered all the way, with her dad interjecting a word here and there. Patty told me that we would be staying at Roger’s house, that he was a friend of hers and maybe I’d get to meet some of his gang.

I was fourteen years old and eager for anything that would break the monotony of life in a small town in Kansas. My mother had asked me if it would bother me to be away from home for Christmas. I’m sure she would have wished for me to say it would but I was eager to see how other people lived: what life was like in the big city, what other people had for Christmas dinner. I’d heard of people having turkey but we’d never had one. My mother couldn’t afford it on her less than twenty dollars a week food budget which had to feed six to eight people, depending on how many younger brothers had been born. But I didn’t want to hurt my mother’s feelings so I lamely told her that I’d be all right, belying the excitement I felt.

28301.png

Arriving in Lincoln in the early evening, we went straight to Roger’s mother’s house, which was in reality an apartment house, with several apartments that she rented out, one of which had been occupied by Patty & her father until the previous summer. Roger’s mother, Irene, was overjoyed to see Jed and Patty and said a pleasant hello to me. Then a teenaged boy with a duck-tail haircut sauntered casually into the kitchen and grinned at Patty. He was telling her hello and looking at me quizzically.

Roger, this is my best friend, Christina. Well, really it’s Lois, but she doesn’t like that name.

Irene said, Oh, Lois is such a pretty name. Why don’t you like it?

Patty broke in, Does anybody like the name they’re given? And you can call me Carmen from now on.

Roger said, And you can call me Frosty or Roger or whatever you want to. He winked at me.

This caused Irene to frown, shrug and shake her head, Kids!

Soon Roger informed us that there was a party at Gino’s house that night. It’s the Feast of the Seven Fishes. Something that Italians do on Christmas Eve. Wanna go? He eyed me as he said this.

Who’s going to be there? Patty wanted to know.

Roger shot her a knowing look. Yeah, that’s right! I guess you’re still hung up on Squeezer. He grinned. Yes, Carmen, Squeezer will be there. And Johnny.

Roger went on to explain to me that Gino was the only child of a wealthy older Italian couple who had given up hope of having any children until he came along and surprised them. They doted on him and spoiled him rotten.

After freshening up, we left the adults to their beer drinking and reminiscing, as we said goodbye and went to load up in Roger’s mother’s car to go to the party.

28299.png

Roger pulled up in front of a nice two-story house. The place was ablaze with lights, inside and out. Christmas decorations adorned the windows and doors. Roger rang the bell and slouched against the door frame, while he grinned at us.

The door opened and a pretty, dark-haired, older-looking woman smiled at us. She saw it was Roger and grabbed his arm as she said, Come in, Roger. You come on in. And who are these pretty girls, huh? How come … a … you got two of them? Huh? Her Italian accent started to show as she beckoned us to come in.

Roger made the proper introductions. Mrs. Gardena, these are my friends, Patty and Christina, he laid his hand on her arm, and this is Gino‘s mother.

She smiled and said, You girls come on into the house and let’s get you some food. You like spaghetti? We’re a gonna have the fish later.

Where’s Gino? Roger asked .

He’s …a. . . out. They went to pick up some friends but they, they will be back. …a . soon. Her Italian accent and broken English were becoming more pronounced.

We followed Mrs. Gardena into the kitchen, where she got us bottles of Pepsi-Cola and urged us to get a plate of spaghetti but Patty told her we weren’t very hungry and that maybe just some crackers would do for now.

That’sa fine, if that’sa all you want. Go! Go into the family room and join the party! There’s a the music and food. She was flushed, bustling excitedly and smiling happily.

In the family room we found a dozen or so adults sitting around listening to music from the forties. A few were dancing. There were several young people idly standing around.

Roger said, I’d ask you to dance but I can’t dance to this crap!

I assured him that that was all right, it wasn’t my kind of music either, not really. I told him I had a collection of all the Top Forty hits from the fifties. I liked to jitterbug and do the bop and really slow dance.

Roger said, C’mon, let’s get outtta here! And he took Patty and me into the large den where a TV program was playing on the television set. This was in the early days of television and we didn’t have one in our house, nor did any of my girlfriends. I had only seen it once before and I told myself that it wasn’t such a big deal since I thought my family would probably never own one, and therefore I wouldn’t feel deprived.

I was sitting on one of the sofas between Roger and Patty when we heard a commotion coming from the hall. Then voices were crying out, Johnny! I looked inquiringly at Patty.

Come on, she burst out, Johnny’s here!

She jumped up and pulled me after her, back into the family room. There standing in the center of the young people were two tall, young men dressed in motorcycle jackets and black denim pants. They had duck-tail haircuts. They looked like they were from the Terror of Highway 101, a song that was popular at the time. Standing at the side of the room, I observed two adoring females hanging on the arm of a third, vying for his attention. Patty walked over to the two guys closest to us and tapped one on the shoulder. He looked around, recognized her and broke into a big smile. He hugged her. She whispered something to him and he glanced over in my direction. Then the two of them came over to me and Patty introduced us. We stood chatting for a little while and then Ron or Squeezer said, I think Johnny’s going to sing.

Huh? I thought, but I didn’t say anything, as I observed Johnny trying to protest and resist the urging of his fans. And then Mama Gardena got into the act.

Pleasa Mr. Johnny, sing us a song. How about …a … something Italian?

Johnny grinned at her. OK, for you Mama Gardena, I will. But I don’t know any Italian songs. How about Unchained Melody?

I’m a guess a so. You betcha! She beamed at him.

Everybody cleared the area so that Johnny was left standing alone. A hush fell over the room. Johnny cleared his throat and started what turned out to be a very moving and beautiful a cappella rendition of Unchained Melody. I was in awe, to hear this coming from someone who had the appearance of a gang member. Add to this the fact that he also looked somewhat like a cross between a young Charles Boyer and Elvis Presley and spoke with a slight accent. This made him irresistible . I could see why the girls were all gaga over him. But I wasn’t one of those girls. I was never one to follow trends just because other people did. I didn’t let my admiration show as I listened to him.

The people in the room loved him. He began singing another ballad. I usually tried to act unaffected by this sort of thing, thinking that these exhibitionists were conceited and full of themselves and I was above it all. But Johnny did have a pleasing voice and he sounded very romantic. And he looked and sounded like Elvis Presley, who hadn’t become popular yet, but I had seen pictures of him at my friend, April’s house and heard a couple of his records. She was a fan of his while he was still doing Hillbilly, and Blues.

Patty came over to me and asked, What do you think, Chris? He’s pretty good, huh?

Yeah, he’s OK, I said, trying to sound blasé.

‘OK!’ Just ‘OK‘?? What’s the matter with you girl? He’s great! And he’s a doll! He could have his pick of just about any girl.

Well maybe that’s the problem. I’m not just any girl." I left to go back to the den.

There had been older-type instrumental music playing on the hi-fi, after Johnny sang but now I could hear the first notes of Earth Angel drifting from the family room. Roger came in and touched my arm.

Can we dance now?

I smiled at him and said, Yes, we can dance.

Roger was a good dancer. They played another slow one and we danced to that too. Then a fast one began, Rock Around The Clock, and Roger said, Let’s do this.

I was unsure since I didn’t know how he would dance and I was always a little self- conscious at first but he started whirling me and was such a good dancer that I caught on to him very quickly and we danced well together, so much so that we had the dance area to ourselves and when the dance was over there was a smattering of applause.

You’re great! Roger beamed.

So are you, Roger!

We returned to the den and our drinks and I took a big gulp of mine which was almost empty. Roger saw this and said, Here, let me get you some more. With that, he shuffled off.

I was watching the other dancers when I noticed Johnny standing across the room. He was watching me. He sauntered over to my side and looked at me a little coldly.

What’s the matter, you didn’t like my singing?

No, it was good.

Why didn’t you stay, then?

I figured you had enough fans. Besides, it was getting crowded in there.

He was silent for a moment, watching the figures dancing. Then he said, I’m Johnny. What’s your name?

Christina.

Yeah, I knew that.

How?

I asked Roger. So, are you and Roger going together?

No, I just met him today.

You‘re a friend of Patty‘s, right?

Yes, that’s right.

Just then, the extremely handsome dark-haired, Italian-looking young guy who had been talking to Ron and Patty earlier, came up to Johnny.

Hey, My Man, who’s this? he asked as he eyed me.

Johnny laughed and said, You didn’t meet her yet? This is Christina, Patty’s friend from Kansas. Christina, this is Gino.

Hi Chris. His smile was gorgeous.

Hi, I smiled back at him.

Hey, Johnny, you better get back in there. Those girls want to hear you sing some more.

Yeah, well … he seemed reluctant.

Gino left and Johnny was silent for a while. Then he looked at me and asked, Do you want to dance?

I was ready to protest but then I thought, sure, why not? I turned to walk back into the family room and Johnny took my arm and guided me onto the dancing area. He took me in his arms and began a slow, swaying dance to Love Is A Many Splendored Thing. Soon we had a wonderful rhythm going and he enveloped me in his arms crushing me close to him and we danced very slowly and sensuously.

The song ended and I said, That’s one of my favorite songs.

Mine too. Johnny murmured.

We stayed in that position, tight together, not speaking, until another song began, Melody of Love, and we continued dancing, without saying a word. When the song ended we stood in silence for a while and then Al Hibbler began singing Unchained Melody. Johnny didn’t say anything as he put his arm around my waist and led me over to the edge of where the dancers were. He turned to me and put both his arms around me and began a slow, sensuous dance. Feelings began to stir in me that I didn’t know existed

I felt hypnotized. There was no one else in the room but us: no one in the world but Johnny and me. As our bodies swayed in perfect harmonious movement and he breathed against my neck; it was like we were the only two people on the planet.. The music ended but Johnny didn’t make any move to break apart. Soon The Platters began singing Only You and he held me more tightly and began moving again.

Something was happening to me. A strange something within me was awakening. I didn’t recognize it because I’d never felt it before. All I knew was that this person holding me could just as easily hold my life in his hands and I would be happy just being close to him. Nobody and nothing else mattered any more. No words were uttered. There was no need for words. Johnny took my hand in his and gently led me to the door of the stairs to the second floor. He opened the door and started up the stairs and I followed.

At the top of the steps, Johnny opened a door and took my hand and led me in and closed the door behind us. We were in darkness. He eased me over and we sank down onto a feather bed . He began kissing me, tentatively at first and then more passionately and urgently. Abruptly I broke away and sat up. I shook my head.

Suddenly I felt the necessity to lay down my ground rules. It was dark but I could still make out the outline of Johnny’s face.

You know all this isn’t going to get you anywhere, don’t you?

What do you mean?

Well, you’re not going to get what you’re after.

How do you know what I’m after?

It’s what all guys are after, isn’t it?

Johnny raised up on one elbow. I’m not ‘all guys’

Oh. I was beginning to feel foolish, but still, I was determined.

You’re pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you? he asked.

No, not sure. I just know what I will let happen and what I won’t. And I made a promise to myself that I’m going to be a virgin when I get married.

Truth be known, that promise was probably made