Family Manifesto: A Guide for Understanding Family Dynamics

By Dr. Larry W. Carter TH.D, Dr. Patricia Jean Brown Ph.D. and Cecil Gaffney

In the preceding decades, the world has envisioned significant changes in the makeup of families. Since the seventies, the divorce rate has doubled increasing to single-parent households, remarriages, and extended families. The book is a discussion of the many definitions of family and how they demonstrate the changes that are occurring within the family.

Many of us today including myself, when we hear the word family, father, mother, and children automatically come to our thoughts. This view represents the traditional family or the nuclear family by definition consisting of father, mother, and children.

Family Manifesto is defined as a books written statements that describe the familys dynamics, functionalities, family types as well as describing functional and dysfunctional families.

This book Family Manifesto provides a biblical-based design for developing a Christ-Centered home. We all know the complexity of raising a family in todays world. We also know families possess the significant capability to improve and strengthen their family dynamic substantially.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 22, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984536419

Dr. Larry W. Carter TH.D

C.S. Gaffney was born to L. B. and Winifred Gaffney in Clarksville, Texas a small rural community, wedged between two sisters; Mamie I. Gaffney-Teague, and Rosie M. Gaffney-Bradley. The fundamental character of this young lad begins while living in the canvassed landscaping of this rural community. Farming duties were the primary occupations, and those who have any knowledge of farming know that great work habits are an essential requirement. The time spent in that environment was character building years. I learn some valuable lessons about people and family living. Cecils family relocated to Hobbs New Mexico in 1948 where he enrolled in Hobbs Public School System. Hobbs was a small town located about six miles from the Texas border. In Hobbs, he witnesses that all families were not created equal and had the same opportunity to succeed. In February 1957 he married his childhood sweetheart, Doris Ann Gaffney and from that union came four children; Gary Dwon Gaffney, Neressa Lynn Gaffney-Alexander, Sheryl Denise Gaffney-Edwards and Jeffery Glen Gaffney. He counsel families and married couples appointed by the Pastor, conducts seminars, workshops, and Marriage Enrichment retreats. He has written and published several books; Married Couples Hierarchy of Needs April 2013, and The Plumbline for Married Couples, August 2014.

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Copyright © 2018 by Cecil Gaffney.

ISBN:             Softcover               978-1-9845-3642-6

                       eBook                     978-1-9845-3641-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission. NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® and NIV® are registered trademarks of Biblica, Inc. Use of either trademark for the offering of goods or services requires the prior written consent of Biblica US, Inc.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 08/31/2018

Xlibris

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

Foreword

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Family

■ Family Types

■ Primary Functions of a Family

Chapter 2 Family Modes of Functionality

■ Cohesive Family (Christ-Centered)

■ Attributes of a Functional Family

■ A Dysfunctional Family

■ Attributes of a Dysfunctional Family

■ Overpower the Consequences of a Dysfunctional Upbringing

Chapter 3 Family Dynamics and Principles

■ Core Competencies

■ Family Basic Guiding Principles

■ The Family Functional Needs

■ Prayer Metaphor

Chapter 4 Family Life Developmental Stages

■ Family Infrastructure Model

■ Household Chores

Chapter 5 Parenting Stage

■ Child Management Styles

■ C. O. P. S. Managing

■ Time Management

Chapter 6 Pre-Retirement Stage

■ Redefine your Retirement

■ What is Your Retirement Lifespan?

■ The Three Stages of Retirement

Chapter 7 Posterior Phase

■ Death Preparation

■ Self-Transcending

■ Three Worlds of Aging

■ Volunteer Opportunities for Seniors

Chapter 8 Family Manifestos

■ Ten Commandments for Families

■ Family’s Fruits of the Spirit

■ God’s Instructions for the Family

■ Living the Beatitudes in Your Families

Chapter 9 Family Disagreements

Chapter 10 Family Keys for Righteous and Enhanced Living

■ Basic Communication Processing Model

■ Christian Family Communication Model

■ Family Declarations

■ The five ships of Zion

■ More Statements and Depositions

■ Family Prayer

References

FOREWORD

In a day and time when families are living and governing their life from a destructive relativistic viewpoint, it is refreshing and exciting that an anecdote to such ills is being made available in Family Manifesto. Through God’s guidance Author Cecil S. Gaffney methodically addresses the victories we can experience in our families, from the cradle to the grave, when we live our life from God’s absolute found in the Bible. Thank you so much for the thorough research given towards availing information to God’s people to renew and restore value and structure in the family. Much love and prayers in this remarkable endeavor.

Dr. Larry W. Carter, Pastor

Good Hope Comm. COGIC

The traditional family, God’s first institution, is in serious trouble. The evidence is overwhelming. According to recent Census data, more than 50 percent of the children in America’s public schools live in single-parent homes. This is a marked change from 1960 when 73% of children fit this description, and 1980 when 61% did. These statistics lead me to believe that we face a future of serious needs.

I have had the privilege of serving as a school principal, superintendent, and founder of a very successful charter school. During my 43-year tenure as an educator, I have observed first hand the devastating effects of broken homes on children’s self-esteem.

Deacon Cecil Gaffney has poured his heart into writing this much-needed book, and I am ecstatic and honored to write this foreword for him. It is amazing to see what God is doing in his life. Gaffney is an experienced therapist and counselor who works with people to explore how their family dynamics have influenced them. He has assisted people in gaining a more in-depth understanding of how they fit within a family structure. He also works with issues such as loneliness, bereavement, depression, stress, and anxiety. Gaffney is an author, advisor, counselor, friend, and brother, but most important of all, he is a committed servant of the Lord who has been an inspiration in my life.

Deacon Gaffney has been a faithful member of our church for over thirty years. He is a retired Airforce Senior NCO who developed his expertise in family life while advising young airmen and married couples.

Gaffney presently serves as Chairman of the Trustee Board for True Vine Community Church of God in Christ. He is a man that leads by example; a family man that has been married to his lovely wife, Doris, for over 61years.

Although he has written numerous training manuals and guides, this is the third official book he has authored.

Our paths crossed recently when I married Cecil’s pastor and became the First Lady of True Vine Community COGIC. However, my first real encounter with Gaffney’s effectiveness and knowledge about family life was when I attended one of his annual workshops. At the close of that meeting, I was so impressed with his knowledge, wealth of information and resources. I discovered hidden in this quiet, gentle man, multi-faceted skills. Down through the years, Cecil has continued to help many people through his workshops on various aspect of family life.

As a result of growing up in a generation where divorce has grown by epic proportions, and broken families are the norm, I believe that many young parents have swung to the opposite direction and engineered a life that is all about the family. They seem to want what they didn’t have. While their intentions might be good, I believe it is more important to establish balanced relationships within our families. The family is about so much more than sporting events and family game nights! God instituted families for a specific purpose.

I highly recommend this compelling and insightful book, Family Manifesto, which is so needed because it provides answers to many questions which families face on a daily basis. It uses biblical principals to address two essential elements of family — marriage, and parenthood. I especially recommend the chapter about the love between a husband and wife because it provides a glimpse of Christ’s passionate devotion to us as His bride. In the same way, the ups and downs of parenthood offer a compelling picture of God’s tenderness and patience toward us as His children.

This book is a Must read for successful families. It can transform lives. Each chapter packed with valuable information that will help families to grow stronger. Healthy families are essential because, without stable families, the church and society will be weak. When the families are healthy, then Christ can develop His wonderful plan for the church.

Dr. Patricia Jean Brown, Ph.D.

Founder and CEO of Lewis Academy of Excellence Charter School

First Lady of True Vine Community COGIC

Tacoma, Washington

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Our natural conception and birth is a result of human cooperation and establishes the priority the Creator places on our dependency on others for success and personal progress. This work is evidence of this collaboration and substantiates the reality that we are a total of all the influences made to our lives by the people we have had the privilege to come across on the journey of life. I am deeply appreciative for the inspiration and wisdom of the men and women, both past and present, which, through their lives, instructions, corrections, challenges, commitment, and example, disturbed gifts within me that I never knew existed.

I am also grateful to all the friends and colleagues of the Church and Community, the military, and corporate leaders who continue to inspire me to contribute to my generation and those to come.

For the development and production of this book itself, I feel a broad sense of gratitude to my precious wife Doris the primary editor, and our children, Gary, Nerressa, Sheryl, and Jeff for their patience and support during my military years. Being a husband and father is the greatest gift God could have gave. My greatest joy is being able to exercise this gift with the family I love dearly.

Special thanks to my deceased Mother, for having faith in me even when I doubted myself, for showing love and support to the extent she risks her life to keep my sisters and myself out of harm’s way. Her natural ability to help others is among the most significant contributions she entrenched in me.

I sincerely thank my church, True Vine Community Church of God In Christ in Tacoma Washington and my pastor, Bishop Leo C. Brown Jr. for their support and encouragement. It was through the church marriage ministry that provides me an unbeliever insight into how families work.

I am indebted to the many couples who have allowed me to enter into the privacy of their lives and query for better understanding and more effective ways of relating and providing more accurate solutions. In private sessions and group settings, many have heard the ideas presented in this book and came back with practical recommendations, and many of those ideas featured in this book.

Most of all, I am grateful to God, who called me to work in His vineyard of marriage and family relationships. I give all praise, honor, and glory to God. I realize that I am a better person now because when others question my ability,