Me

By Lucy

My experience in the dark side of life has brought me opportunities to share hope. Living in the country has given me a quiet place to heal old wounds and to put words to paper.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Apr 4, 2018
• ISBN: 9781532043772

Lucy

I am currently working on my Bachelors of Arts in Crisis Counseling. I have previously published, ME, an autobiography chronicling the abuse and torture I endured. Living in the mountains of Colorado I have had the opportunity to heal.

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Copyright © 2018 Lucy.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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ISBN: 978-1-5320-4376-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-4377-2 (e)

iUniverse rev. date:  03/01/2018

Contents

Chapter 1   (0-5) The Early Years

Chapter 2   (6-7Years)

Chapter 3   (8-17) Years

Chapter 4   (Adulthood)

Closing-

Born in to a life of sorrow and pain

Where terror reined

I struggled and climbed

And survived through time

We all have a story

And this is mine

To all those hwo have helped me along in my journey,

Thank you

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I   was asked why I wanted to write this book. It took a while to answer that question. I didn’t want to put my life out there for the sake of popularity or fame but to help people come to terms with their lives. I haven’t arrived at the point of total healing but I am willing to look at my life and decide what I want to keep and what I need to discard. Dealing with my past has given me the ability to minister to and be sympathetic with many people. Lives have been changed. Especially mine.

Everyone has a story and this is mine

I sat gazing out the window watching but not really seeing the children playing on the street below. I was lost in the memories of the past. Wishing my childhood had been that carefree. As the snow hit the ground I was thrust into the memories of the past. Dancing in my head was the memory of physical, emotional abuse and torture.

How I envied the children below they seemed to be without a care in the world. Enjoying the moment as they played in the snow. I couldn’t enjoy anything in life. Because life was a burden weighing me down.

I moved closer to the window feeling the coolness on the glass, I stepped away from the window as I opened the window a burst of cold air rushed into the room. The cold air drew me to the window leaning out thinking I could jump. I took a step back. The thought occurred to me that I could just jump. Would I die or just injure myself? Putting my hands on the cold glass of the window fantasying over the possibility of death. Sitting on the edge of the window I sung my legs over the edge dangling in the cold air. I thought to myself lean forward and fall. Dying will end the pain. No more flashbacks, doctors, medications, therapists or hospitals. Rational thought left. My entire being was enmeshed with the memories of the past. Horror, pain abuse and torture it no longer matter what happened in the past. If I died I would no longer have to struggle each day to survive. I leaned forward sat there for what seemed to be a lifetime but couldn’t let go. So much had gone wrong in my life from the very beginning. Sexually abused by family members. My family moved from the people’s temple to a Satanist cult. Over and over there had been sex, pain, emotional abuse and physical abuse, prostitution, drugs and a world of mental illness.

I pulled myself back inside the kitchen and once again know that I was suicidal which meant I needed to be in the hospital. The psychiatric center had almost become a second home for me Therapy was very difficult so may memories and issues to deal with. I knew that I had to go, if I hadn’t I knew that I would never survive. My life came crashing down when I arrived at Warm Springs (state hospital in Montana) hand cuffed and feet shackled I walked down the steps of the small airplane. I went inside where they transferred custody to the state of Montana. I had been committed