Residue of Rejection: Residual of Abandonment

By Angela Scott Johnson

Residue of Rejection
Residual of Abandonment

Prologue
Life Goes On

Life is Fragile.
Life can be altered in less than one minute.
Life can be altered before an
Opinion can be given about it.
Life can be altered for the negative.
Life can be altered for the positive.
No matter what, life goes on.

My life was altered permanently for me before I was two years old. No one stops to think of the mental and emotional changes a two year old will experience as she develops over the years after her mother has committed suicide and left her to a world where only a mothers love can sustain her. When her father does not know how to hold her in his arms and give her strength, support and love the wolves circle the camp looking for easy prey. It was as if the wolves could smell the fresh brew of innocence and opportunity.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524639907

Book preview

© 2016 Angela Scott Johnson. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/27/2016

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3991-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3989-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-3990-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016915310

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Prologue

Chapter 1 My Loves

Chapter 2 Change Has Come

Chapter 3 Continuous Change

Chapter 4 Unexpected Storm

Chapter 5 On The Move

Chapter 6 Prayer Warrior

Chapter 7 The Exodus Of The Prodigals

Chapter 8 Is God Real?

Chapter 9 Charged To Forgive

Chapter 10 Smell The Flowers

Acknowledgements

My Heart, My Change

Abandoned as a child, rejected as a girl

sent my life into a downward swirl.

Crying myself to sleep, hoping to wake up to a new feeling the next day

Walking around day to day wondering why no one would accept me, love me

Those feelings drove me into despair and loneliness

And the hole in my heart continued to grow deeper and wider

Abandonment left me lonely, rejection made me feel unlovable

I became bitter, angry, hateful, vindictive, rebellious, careless and destructive

I became so low that the desire to end it all flooded my mind

there was nowhere else to go

But at the end of the day, I was only surrounded by me

Reality set in and I realized that the only way to get out was to stand up and fight

I began to fight against remaining in this tunnel of abandonment and rejection

although the feelings of rejection and abandonment were real.

I began to realize that this was not why I was created, this was not why I was made

It was the trick of the enemy to keep me from reaching my destiny

I am not an abandoned child, neither am I a rejected girl.

To the enemy of my soul and my spirit – you are a liar.

I am an awesome woman, mother, wife – purified gold tried by fire.

I found the light. I found my freedom. I shall prosper. I shall live.

Angela Scott Johnson

Life Goes On

Life is very fragile.

Life can be altered in less than one minute.

Life can be altered before an opinion can be given about it.

Life can be altered for the negative.

Life can be altered for the positive.

No matter what, life goes on.

Charlene S. Houston

Prologue

M y life was permanently altered for me before I was two years old. No one stops to think of the mental and emotional changes a two year old will experience as she develops over the years after her mother has committed suicide, and left her to a world where only a mother’s love can sustain her. When her father does not know how to hold her in his arms and give her strength, support, and love – the wolves circle the camp looking for easy prey. It was as if the wolves could smell the fresh brew of innocence and opportunity.

No one considered the loneliness, fear, frustrations and feelings of rejection that would accompany this two year old for years to come. God has a way of working things out on our behalf in a way that we cannot understand – even in the face of an untimely death.

Death can bring incessant sorrow that can consume years, or lifetimes. And before true understanding comes, we often do not have a way to release, express