To Be Continued in Heaven: When Love Transcends Death

By Jerry Vornholt

Will we really see our loved ones again in heaven? What kind of relationship might we have with them if we do see them again? Following the death of his wife, Jerry Vornholt received cards, letters and verbal words of comfort from many sources consoling him with advice that he will be with his wife again in heaven someday. Those words became both a beacon of hope and a problematic hindrance in Jerrys painful journey through the wounds of grief. He wants more than anything for those words to be true, but he could not help but wonder if that really will happen.

Those who are grieving over the loss of a close loved one will appreciate the heartfelt viewpoints and homespun stories that appear throughout To Be Continued in Heaven as Jerry searches for answers to these and many other questions following the heartbreaking loss of his wife and very best friend to cancer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jul 29, 2016
• ISBN: 9781512748765

Jerry Vornholt

For nearly forty-eight years, Jerry Vornholt and his wife, Sharon, were virtually inseparable. After retiring from active careers in the business and education fields, they moved to Florida with the goal of traveling and serving the Lord together as a team. But just four years later, Jerry was completely devastated by the untimely death of Sharon. While struggling with the intense grief that followed, he developed two new goals for his life. One was to learn as much as he could about his wife’s new home up in Heaven, and the other was to concentrate on things that will last rather than on those things that will one day fade away. Pursuing those goals quickly resulted in deeper empathy for others who were also struggling. It was that empathy that led him to becoming active as a volunteer chaplain at the Avon Park Correctional Institution, writing and designing inspirational greeting cards, and writing two books, The Wounds of Grief and To Be Continued in Heaven. Since the death of his wife, Jerry has continued to live in their former home in Sebring, Florida.

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Copyright © 2016 Jerry Vornholt.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Unless otherwise noted, all Biblical quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible. All of the poems appearing throughout To Be Continued in Heaven are from The Wounds of Grief and are used by permission. Silhouettes on the front cover and sketches at the beginning of each chapter are by Emma Risinger and are used permission. Picture on the back cover is by Anthony Pasquino and is used by persmission. Author’s photo by Life Touch and used by permission. Photo of Sharon Vornholt was taken by Jerry Vornholt.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4877-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4878-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-4876-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016910907

WestBow Press rev. date: 07/28/2016

Contents

Introduction

1   Grief Followed the Hearse

Arriving Where You Never Wanted to Be

2   Loneliness

A Potentially Incurable Condition

3   Adjustments Everywhere

From Profound Reverence to Complete Dependence

4   Grief, Loneliness, and Misery

Crossing a Creek on Slippery Stones

5   Final versus Forever

Over in an Instant/Together Forever

Heaven—Scenario 1

6   Sparky

The Best of Both Worlds

Heaven—Scenario 2

7   The Teddy Bear

When One Changes and the Other Doesn’t

Heaven—Scenario 3

8   Thinking outside the Box

Exceeding Abundantly Above All That We Ask or Think

Heaven—Scenario 4

9   Reunited at Last

The Things That God Has Prepared for Those Who Love Him

Heaven—Scenario 5

10   Unexpected Sources of Comfort

Not Who You Might Think

11   Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

Those We Have Received May Heal

Those We Have Caused May Not Heal

12   My Wife’s Purses

An Unlikely Perspective

13   Caring and Commitment Make the Difference

What Happens if Sudden Withdrawal Occurs?

14   Where Do I Go from Here?

Choose Your Destination/Get on the Bus Trust the Driver to Get You There

15   Blessings

Count Them One by One, and Do It Every Day

16   How to Love God

With All Your Heart, Soul, and Mind

17   The Familiar Messenger

Revealing What We Knew All Along

Scenario 6

18   Traveling Then and Now

Traveling Alone in a Group

19   Clear View

The Greatness of God—The Smallness of Humanity

Scenario 7

20   Catharsis, Prosthesis, or Love?

Love after Loss

21   The Wounds of Grief

A Prescription for Soothing Relief

Sharon’s Picture

Poem: The Greatest Joy in My Life

A Message to You, Dear Reader

About the Author

Dedication

This book is dedicated to

the memory of Sharon Vornholt, the lovely lady

with whom the Lord so graciously

allowed me the privilege of sharing

forty-eight years of my life, both as my wife

and my very best friend. It is hard to

lose the companionship of someone

that you dearly love, especially when

they have been such a special part of

your life for so many years.

WHERE DO I GO FROM HERE?

Acknowledgement

The author would like to acknowledge the help and encouragement of the following people: Linda Bond, Dottie Rexford, Helen Jones, Maren Hogberg, and Dr. Robert Delnay.

Introduction

The primary goal of To Be Continued in Heaven is to bring comfort to those of you who are going through what may very well be the most painful experience of your entire life, the death of your spouse.

Following the death of my wife, I received cards, letters, and verbal words of comfort from many sources consoling me with advice that I will be with my wife again in Heaven someday. Those words became both a beacon of hope and a problematic hindrance in my own painful journey through grief. I wanted more than anything for those words to be true. I want to be with my wife again when I get to Heaven.

My search for the probability of that actually happening led me through the entire Bible four times. While I was doing that, I also read the lyrics of many hymns, talked to many pastors, read dozens of other books pertaining to this subject, and talked to a lot of widows and widowers. Virtually all of the widows and widowers that I talked to said they too are hoping that they will get to see their loved ones again in Heaven someday.

Only one book and one pastor took the position that we will not know our loved ones in Heaven. All of the other books that I read and pastors that I talked to said they were convinced that we will indeed know our loved ones when we get to Heaven (provided, of course, that you both do go to Heaven.)

But the thing that still concerned me was that the Bible verses that were provided to me by those whom I had questioned were all presented with varying doses of conflicting human interpretation, which in turn left me feeling more and more uneasy over the fact that there simply is no verse in the Bible that comes right out and says something like, Thou shalt surely be reunited with your loved one up in Heaven. And by the way, there is no equally clear verse that says the opposite either. Since no such verse actually does appear anywhere in the Bible, I spent literally hundreds of hours exploring in my mind various scenarios from different viewpoints, of what it might be like after we too slip behind death’s vale and step into Heaven ourselves. Will we see our loved ones again in Heaven? What kind of relationship might we have with our loved ones if we do see them again in Heaven? These along with other thought-provoking scenarios appear throughout this book in the form of homespun stories and heartfelt viewpoints.

Grief is not a one-size-fits-all emotion. Every person is affected by grief in a way that is unique to his or her own personality as well as the type and length of relationship with his or her spouse while they were still alive. It is like two cars being totally demolished in separate accidents. The owner of one of those vehicles may be completely devastated over the loss of a car that had always been his pride and joy, while the owner of the other vehicle may have never considered his car as anything more than just a source of transportation. What would become an emotional nightmare for one would be little more than a temporary inconvenience for the other. The ones who are most likely to benefit from To Be Continued in Heaven are the ones who consider the death of their spouse as an emotional nightmare.

My prayer is that this book will not only serve to stimulate your own thoughts about Heaven, but even more importantly, that it will also stimulate your desire to know more about Jesus Christ, because without Him, there is no hope of even going to Heaven.

~

He that believeth on him is not condemned:

but he that believeth not is condemned already,

because he hath not believed in the name

of the only begotten Son of God.

—John 3:18

To Be Continued In Heaven

Sharon, I loved you yesterday,

and I will love you again tomorrow.

I have loved you in oh, so many ways,

but today, I am loving you in sorrow.

We were destined at birth

to be together on earth,

so it broke my heart

when death pulled us apart.

I know your presence with the Lord

is far better than being here below.

My efforts to keep you here were all with one accord.

I simply was not ready to let you go.

Oh, how I long to be where you are today.

I pray that in eternity, I will hear God say

our love that began between earthly shores

is to be continued in heaven forevermore.

1HearseTBCIH732719jpg.jpg

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Grief Followed the Hearse

Arriving Where You Never Wanted to Be

~

T welve words officially proclaimed the beginning of the end. A team of several doctors were gathered together in my wife’s hospital room at Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Zion, Illinois. Each man was in charge of their own area of expertise. They were the ones who had been directing the multitude of functions involved in the intense, around the clock care that had been faithfully provided for my wife. Their solemn mission was twofold. They began by delivering this intensely dreaded message, The time has come for us to discuss end-of-life issues. The genuine empathy of these men appeared obvious as they sat silently for a few seconds to enable us to absorb the full impact of those words. Then they began the second part of their mission by offering to answer any questions that we might have had with complete openness and honesty.

Eight days later, the Lord called Sharon up to her new home in Heaven while I was holding and talking to her in our earthly home in Sebring, Florida.

Harbinger’s of Death

Our pastor cautioned that this might happen;

Her sister talked as if it very likely would.

Doctors said it was no longer if, but when––

but I still fought to save her life as hard as I could.

My determination to never leave Sharon’s side throughout the intense battle against her cancer was successful in holding off the effects that severe sleep deprivation was trying to impose on my own system during the last twenty-two days of her life. But after she died, my exhaustion quickly transformed my life into a zombie-like existence. I numbly forced myself to make all of the necessary decisions with regard to the myriad of funeral and burial arrangements without delay.

After the funeral, Sharon’s sister, Carol Conner, and my sister, Sue Heiwig, rode in the car with me as I followed the hearse into the cemetery. We had now arrived at the point where I never wanted to be. My mother was still alive at this time, but she was ninety-four years old and had fallen victim to the debilitating effects of dementia. So these two, Carol and Sue, were the only remaining immediate family that Sharon and I had left.

The morning after the funeral, Sharon’s sister left to return to her home in Tallahassee, Florida, and I drove my sister to the airport in Fort Myers to catch her flight back to her home in Columbus, Indiana. As she entered the TSA check-in point, I headed back through the terminal to the airport parking garage.

By the time I arrived back at my car, all of the emotions that I had been holding at bay while there were still people around were unleashed. The enormous quantity of intense pain that burst forth instantly broke my heart. And it was at that very point that I met the first of three invisible companions that were to become a major part of my new life as a widower. The name of that first companion was Grief. Introduction to Grief 101 occupied my thoughts during much of the eighty-five mile drive back to my home in Sebring.

Upon arriving home, I pulled into my driveway, and at that point, things were about to go from bad to worse. I did not want to go inside that house, because