The Cry

By Carol Everett and Kristen Maddox

One in three women will have an abortion. Forty-five percent will have more than one. I am one in three. I am one in forty-five percent. I am not alone.

I was sixteen years old when the cry began. It was a silent screaming within my soul that I felt sure everyone could hear. I carried the cry for fifteen years before I was able to identify it.

It started the day I had my first abortion.

“A simple outpatient procedure; we will remove the mass of tissue. You’re young—you have your whole lives ahead of you to have children. You’re making the right choice.” I believed them. My “choice” led me down a dark path of self-destructive behavior that lasted for ten long years! I was desperate to be free. “God, if you can hear me, please help me, make it stop!” I cried. Jesus heard my cry and healed the aching in my heart.

What is post-abortion syndrome? Will God heal me after what I did? How can I be free? These were all questions that I had. If you are struggling with a past abortion, or if you have been carrying a cry, you are not alone. Whether you have had one abortion or multiple abortions, only He can heal the damage that abortion causes. Jesus sees your pain and longs to heal you.

You have a choice to make. You can allow the Lord to heal you, or you can continue to carry the cry.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512721430

Carol Everett

Kristen Maddox, Founder of A Door of Hope Ministries, has a God-given commission that burns in her heart to “Pull them out of the fire for some have escaped death FOR THE LAST TIME!” Their is a cry in their souls for freedom. She is responding to their cries. www.ADOOROFHOPELA.com

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Copyright © 2015 Kristen Maddox.

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Scripture quotations taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Copyright © 1996, 2004.

Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

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Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982

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Scripture taken from The Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by

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Living Bible, TLB, and the The Living Bible logo are registered trademarks of Tyndale House Publishers.

The names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-2142-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2141-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-2143-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015919472

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/09/2023

CONTENTS

Endorsements

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Chapter 1     The Cry

Chapter 2     Flashback

Chapter 3     Healing is a Choice

Chapter 4     Taking Off Your Mask

Chapter 5     Putting a Voice to Your Pain

Chapter 6     Broken

Chapter 7     Looking In the Mirror

Chapter 8     Leah’s Cry

Chapter 9     Dismantling the Wall

Chapter 10   Dealing with the Voices in My Head

Chapter 11   Letting IT Go!

Chapter 12   Saying Goodbye… for Now

Chapter 13   Not in Vain

Chapter 14   From the Prison to Ministry

Chapter 15   Freedom to Destiny

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ENDORSEMENTS

"It is an honor to recommend Kristen Maddox’s first book, ‘The Cry’. Kristen’s life and story impacted me greatly when I had the opportunity to meet her in person and speak at an event for her nonprofit A Door of Hope in Louisiana. I will never forget our time together and how I felt so compelled to encourage her to keep writing her story. I knew her book would be a power tool in the hand of God, bringing darkness to light and would empower others to find hope and healing from any kind of pain they may be going through. This book will not only make your jaw drop, it will open eyes to truth, help transform traumatized minds and connect hearts to the Healer. Read this woman’s story and be inspired!"

—Nicole Bromley, Author of Hush, Breathe and SOAR

Founder of OneVOICE (www.iamonevoice.org) and

OneVOICE4freedom (www.onevoice4freedom.org)

Kristen is very knowledgeable when it comes to the healing of life controlling issues and self-destructive behaviors. She has a unique way of explaining the dynamics of trauma, so that the root cause can be found. As a trauma coach and a survivor of many different traumas myself. I have walked with Kristen through my own healing process of multiple past abortions. These were hidden traumas that needed to be uprooted. I was not able to fully walk into the purpose that God had for my life until I went back to heal the wounds of my past. Kristen’s trainings played a pivotal role in my healing process. Understanding how trauma affects the brain and the body is essential for healing. These trainings will not only change your life, but they will also change your perspective about life. You’ll even have a greater understanding of your loved ones, and the people whom you come in contact with daily. I highly recommend these trauma trainings.

—Shona Chavis

Trauma Coach

A Voice Awakening

"From the very first moment I met Kristen, I came to this conclusion- she is the ‘real deal!’ and that still hasn’t changed. Kelly and I are honored to be able to pastor and lead her family into the awesome future God has for them…to see the ‘Door of Hope’ opened for countless young women with ‘a story.’ Her life story, ‘The Cry’, is proof of how God can take a great mess and turn it into greatness. There is no limit to what God can do in (and through) a life that totally surrenders to Him. Our past becomes an opportunity for HIM to be able to work and produce a great future. Kristen’s story of hope, forgiveness, and grace can be your story too…you too can be GOD’s Real Deal!"

—Pastor Philip & Kelly Pimlott

Encounter Church

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

‘The Cry’... In this book you will hear life experiences of pain and suffering, but also healing and freedom from our Savior. Once you read it and go through the process of releasing your cry, you too will receive healing and freedom because God’s word says so. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed!

—Pamela White

Founder/Empowering Kingdom Growth

www.weareekg.com

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DEDICATION

T his book is dedicated to my children, who have endured so many traumas, and choose to allow God to heal their cry. Thank you for your forgiveness. It is truly a gift that I can never repay.

In memory of my babies known only to God, your lives were not in vain. I will hold you in heaven one day.

This book is written for all who carry a cry and long for freedom. The Lord has heard your cry and He is responding. That is why this book is written. It is written for you.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

T his book could not have been written without the love and support of family and friends that have touched heaven for me and prayed me through the process.

To my family at ‘A Door of Hope’, Louise Cook, Pam White, Shona Butler, Kathryn Hoyt, Evelyn Garcia, and Angela Murray, thank you for your faithfulness to answer God’s call on your life no matter the cost. Together we are responding to their cries.

To the counselors at ‘A Door of Hope’ who personally work one on one with our clients, thank you for honoring God with your time and gift of compassion, working with women living with a cry. What a privilege we have been given to be a part of their journey and witness God’s love as He restores and heals them.

To Louise Cook; you are a dear friend and my armor bearer. Thank you for holding up my arms when the battle got fierce and for your encouragement and support as we labor together for the sake of the kingdom.

To my dear friend Evelyn Garcia, who spent many hours proof reading this book. More than anything, thank you for covering my family and I in prayer.

To Kathryn Hoyt, who captures the vision in my heart and puts it to paper. May those who read it run with it!

To my Pastors Philip and Kelly Pimlott and my family at Encounter Church, thank you for your love and support. You inspire me to follow my dreams, reminding me that anything is possible!

To my dearest friend and closest confidant Jesus; words cannot express… Thank you for hearing my cry and responding with such love that no pain could remain.

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FOREWORD

A s a woman who not only carried a cry but works with men and women who are struggling to overcome the pain and trauma of abortion, ‘The Cry’ takes an honest look at abortion related trauma.

The author’s story and experience working with post abortive women provides insight into the reality of damage that abortion causes and how one can be healed from the emotional scars and find freedom from the CRY!

‘The Cry’ is a great resource for pastors, crisis pregnancy centers, and other ministries working with post abortive men and women.

Carol Everett

Founder of The Heidi Group/

Author of Blood Money-Getting Rich

Off a Womans Right to Choose.

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Chapter 1

THE CRY

H ave you ever had a cry deep down on the inside of you? I’m talking about the kind of cry that you’ve never put a voice to but you feel it and you hear it groaning from deep within your soul?

Imagine the sound of a baby’s cry. They have different cries don’t they? Sometimes they cry because they are hungry or they need changing. At other times they cry because they are tired, fussy, and just want to be held. But then there are the rare moments when there is a blood curdling scream and you know immediately there is something wrong with your baby. It is that kind of cry that I am referring to. It’s a cry that something is wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. We sometimes have a difficult time figuring out where the cry in our soul is coming from.

I remember hearing a story once. It was about a little boy. I can’t remember what triggered this child’s father to whip him but he took his belt out and began spanking him in front of the other children. When the child did not cry, he said Oh it doesn’t hurt, you ain’t crying. So he whipped him harder with the belt. He kept whipping him because the child would not cry. The child was brought to the hospital where he later died. The doctor said the reason he didn’t cry was because he was so severely dehydrated he wasn’t able to produce tears. This baby might not have been crying on the outside but he was crying on the inside.

The cry may not have a voice, it may not be evident with tears, but it is a cry that is silently screaming from down deep in your soul. You see, we can be carrying this silent scream around inside of us and nobody even knows it. We go to work with it, we go to school with it, and we even go to church with it. Some people go through their entire life carrying a cry. We are around co-workers, friends, and even family with this cry deep down on the inside; and to everyone around us we appear to have it all together. As a matter of fact we work really hard and spend a lot of energy trying to keep the cry under control. We push it down trying not to allow it to surface because we really don’t know what to do with it. We are not really sure what it is or why it’s there. More importantly we don’t know how to make it stop.

Not only does God understand the cry but He hears another cry coming from within us.