The Soul of Abortion

By Tziporah Kingsbury

Just talking about the tough stuff often provides a space for deep healing and new degrees of human connection. It creates freedom from the shackles of shame and isolation.

This book is a blueprint to help us create new structures and ways to support the emotional and psychological impacts of abortion for women, their partners, and their c

• Language: English
• Publisher: Matrika Press
• Release date: Mar 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781946088697

Book preview

Soul of Abortion

A Compassionate Guide

to Emotion Discovery,

Healing and Peace

Tziporah Kingsbury

Soul of Abortion

A Compassionate Guide

to Emotion Discovery,

Healing and Peace

Tziporah Kingsbury

Soul of Abortion

A Compassionate Guide

to Emotion Discovery,

Healing and Peace

Tziporah Kingsbury

Soul of Abortion,

A Compassionate Guide to Emotion Discovery, Healing and Peace

Copyright © Tziporah Kingsbury

December 2020

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher. This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

ISBN: 978-1-946088-68-0 - paperback; ISBN: 978-1-946088-69-7 - epub

1.Abortion 2.Memoir 3.Women’s Issues

Editor: Niels Petersen

Typeset: Matrika Press Publishing

Book Cover Design: Lucinda Rae

www.prosperitybranding.com/create-your-book-cover/

Interior Layout: Marie Manning

Publisher:

[e-mail]

www.MatrikaPress.com

For further information on Tziporah and the Soulful Relating classes, seminars and private mentoring go to:

www.TziporahIntimacy.com

DISCLAIMER

While anyone may find the practices, philosophy and disciplines in this book The Soul of Abortion to be useful and transformative, it is made available with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher are presenting specific medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual advice. Nor is anything in this book intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, or care for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual problem.

Wherever there is concern about physical, psychological, emotional, sexual or spiritual issues you, are encouraged to consult with a qualified professional. There are many counselors, coaches, therapists, healers who are available and happy to support you.

This book is not intended to offer legal or professional advice. The author asks for you to take full responsibility for your choice to participate with this material within this book. The author nor the publisher shall not be liable nor responsible to any person or entity with respect to loss, damage, injury or ailment and are not responsible for any effects this book may have on your life. It is the intention of the author that these teachings and transmissions be used in the highest good for all.

To All Women, Mothers, Ancestors,

and our Sacred Wombs

With Appreciation 12

Introduction 14

It’s Okay 16

An Inclusive Framework 23

Nuances of Femininity 31

Giving Yourself Permission 44

Moderating Emotion 53

Beyond Right and Wrong 59

Taking Your Own Side 65

Resourcing Center 67

Staying Embodied 68

Introspection 73

Communication 82

Refining Compassion 91

Ceremony: A Unique Support System 92

Self-Care 97

Community Care 102

Gentle Perseverance 108

Foundation & Procedure 109

Practical Advice 114

The Moment After 118

Remembrance 120

The Return 123

Reconnecting with your Sexuality 127

Reconnecting with Your Partner 132

Reconnecting with Your Psyche 136

Fulfillment & Resolution 139

Reflections 142

About the Author

Other Books by the Author

About the Publisher

Other Books by the Publisher

With Appreciation

Where do I begin but with life itself and my mother Joanne who brought me into this world. Thank you for our journey together as mother and daughter. It has been my biggest gift to learn through our struggles and love so fully with you.

Ashley Rose — My best friend who has held me in so many ways throughout my journey over the years. She has come through when I needed to be held and cared for softly. The times you were just present with me to witness my journey without doing anything but letting me know you were there. Thank you. Ashley, your part in birthing this book into the world has been an invaluable offering of love.

Steve Rankin— Thank you for championing this project and process and my dharma in offering it to the world. Your presence through the final days of completing the manuscript is a gift which I will always cherish.

Tahl Gruer — My partner who went through pregnancy and abortion with me and the man who said let’s be pregnant for the time we have, two weeks prior to having the abortion. His presence invited me to be closer with my body, slow down to feel the experience, and be in love with the being inside my womb. Thank you for being so available for me through the mourning and grief cycles when I was coming back home to my own body. I love you.

Coined Literary Architech Niels Petersen — My exceptionally talented partner in book creation. I absolutely cherish the intimate writing relationship we have developed which continues to unfold so perfectly. It is a joy to create with you. Thank you for saying YES to this project and for assisting in helping me deliver through these pages out to the world.

Dearest Marie Manning, aka Twinkle, and Matrika Press — You are a star from the moment we met; you have been an inspirational light in my life. Thank you for believing in the transmission and the desire I had to bring it to the world. We signed a publishing contract 5 years prior to the completion of this book, your trust, and surrender to my flow is deeply appreciated. Creativity can not be rushed. Love you.

Mrs. Lucinda Rae — again and again your creative genius comes through with a perfect book cover that captures the essence of what is within The Soul of Abortion.

The next acknowledgment may not be understood by all, and I am okay with that. I deeply bow, with so much love, to the being who moved through my womb for a moment in time. You delivered through my body an experience of love and wisdom that words alone cannot touch upon.

Thank you to all my ancestors, those who have walked before me, and those who will walk after me. Thank you for paving the way and filling me with courage and vision, and for being by my side as we share intimacy and compassion as a bridge to deeper human connection.

Introduction

Just talking about the tough stuff often provides a space for deep healing and new degrees of human connection. It creates freedom from the shackles of shame and isolation.

This book is a blueprint to help us create new structures and ways to support the emotional and psychological impacts of abortion for women, their partners, and their communities as a whole. It is a compassionate invitation to talk about something that is often shoved in the closet, and carries with it so much shame and persecution, leaving many women feeling alone, disconnected, and not knowing where to turn.

The Soul of Abortion carries a vision for women to come home to the fullness of their body, sex and spirit after having an abortion. It provides us with the skills and tools to make that vision come true. It also provides new structures, ideas and tools for loved ones, partners and community as a whole to have the ability to be present and available in a loving, compassionate way to receive women back into life through the mourning and grief cycles.

It is valuable to realize that everyone experiences abortion in their own unique way. Equally as important is remembering each person’s reason for having an abortion is radically different. We all live in such diverse environments, social structures and cultural and economic circumstances. Some of us are coming from a place of sexual abuse or rape. Some of us have limited resources and existing responsibilities to others. Some carry increased medical or social risks for their children and/or their parents.

Some women never look back or think twice about their pregnancy or abortion. Others acknowledge the spirit of the unborn child every year and have feelings of grief or sadness, or simply a curiosity to connect and remember. I had many feelings after my abortion, like sadness, grief, and loss.

What if women had a tribe to hold an environment together for them, to bring them through these unexpected rites of passage (a ceremony or event marking an important stage in someone’s life), through the emotional, physical and psychological shifts that are happening in their bodies post-abortion? How do we bring mindfulness and compassion into places where judgments or disassociation have happened in the past? How do we move beyond the idea of right and wrong and into deep listening and human connection?

Whether or not you yourself are having the abortion, it takes courage, presence and compassion to really be with friends and loved ones right after an abortion. I understand how conversations can seem awkward and stimulate a lot of feelings of unease. Some of the most powerful things one can offer are curiosity, compassion and deep listening. I know I simply desired someone to be there, to deeply listen and to put down their own stories or judgments.

So let go of your own agenda and a need to fix or make better. The simplicity of saying, Take your time — I’m here, and listening can be one of the biggest gifts you can receive and one of the biggest gifts you can give to yourself or another.

It’s Okay

An Offering of Love

As I reflect on all the women, the families, the relationships affected by loss, as I think of those of you who have not had opportunities to be surrounded by love, by people who understand and listen, those of you who have been running from pain and emotions for what seems like a lifetime, those who just were not given the skills, the tools, the guidance to embrace the feelings, to transform the suffering and the old ideas of shame and guilt, those who did not receive the privilege of conscious mourning, I feel so much fuel for writing this book.

The mourning, the sadness, the grief and anger that often come through transitioning a pregnancy to an abortion may always be a part of your life, consciously or unconsciously, but they do not have to control the rest of your life. They do not have to destroy your relationships or the relationship you have with your own body. You deserve the love, the support and people around you that also have the skills, awareness and presence to understand you with deep compassion. Everyone deserves that! I want you to know you deserve to have that. And while at times, as I know all too well, it can feel lonely, it is possible. I’m sorry if you did not receive a place for your voice to be shared, if you felt judged, shamed, or silenced. I’m sorry for the pain and stories that burdened you in any way.

The Moment of Truth

We must be able to feel, to understand our feelings and navigate sensation within our body in order to make empowered decisions. In an overstimulated world where we run from feelings, and fear emotion, that can be a real challenge.

In both my personal and professional world I tend to have a strong nurturing, mother-like, caring role. I often say I have many children all around the world. I’m a midwife of sorts on so many levels to people’s own rebirth. And yet, I spent my entire life with the feeling I was unable to get pregnant. I actually found peace within that. My motherly nurturing graciously transferred into being a pro at creating a safe environment for so many to feel heard and loved. So at age 43, when the talk about peri-menopause and other changes in a woman’s body and spirit began, I believed I surely could not get pregnant. In the beginning of 2014 something was about to change.

I see myself as a woman who has cultivated a clear, empowered relationship with my body, my emotions and life through dedicated care and discipline. So the change was really noticeable, yet what was causing the change was not. It seemed like suddenly I was possessed. Emotions were on high-drive, I had fatigue and brain confusion; my thoughts were not as clear as they used to be. I have had a history of adrenal fatigue on account of five years of competitive bodybuilding. In addition,