Hither and Yon: International Stories

By Lewis Martin Talmadge

A collection of humorous and adventurous short stories.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 13, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503552326

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Copyright © 2015 by Lewis Martin Talmadge.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5035-5233-3

                eBook         978-1-5035-5232-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 03/13/2015

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Contents

Foreword

The Adventures Of Peter Porcupine

Chapter I Peter Porcupine Finds A Friend

Chapter II Peter Helps His Friend Robbie Rabbit

Chapter III Peter Has House Guests

Chapter IV Many Houses To Build

Chapter V So Many Houses

Making Money

Peacock And The Pig

The Writer

The Birthday Cake

Glossary

A Long Journey Home

Mary And Joseph Flee To Egypt

House With A Widow’s Walk

General

The Happiest/Saddest Birthday Ever

Henrietta

A Fairy Tale

A Witch In The Well

Hopscotch

The Last Shot

FOREWORD

Fifth Book

This is Lewis’ fifth book, and like his other books is a collection of humorous and adventurous short stories. One or two included here, first appeared in Lewis’ home town newspaper, The Daily Post Athenian, published in Athens, Tennessee. Lewis’s second book, titled, Short, Short Stories, published by Choate Printers, Etowah, TN, contained religious, children’s and teen stories. The stories take place in all parts of the world and are fictional, down to earth situations with a humorous twist at the ends. The names are fictitious except for Lewis’ family names. There is no attempt to degrade folks from Detroit or the Yankee North, but conditions have lent themselves to situations that warrant a story. Lewis hopes everyone takes these stories with a grain of salt.

The last section of the second book, Short, Short Stories, is called Memories, and tells a story of Lewis’ early life in Berkeley, California, and describes a mother’s dream to have a home and a garden of roses during the years 1941 to 1960. Lewis’ stepfather, Merrill Phillip DiCristina, or Deke, as his wife and Lewis’ mother called him, was a teamster in Berkeley, California.

Lewis’ father, Adam Peter Talmadge, a Lt. Commander, US Merchant Marines, pictured on the cover, traveled the world over. He epitomizes the title of this book HITHER AND YON. His exploits during WW II in the Atlantic Ocean could fill books.

Gene and Pete, Lewis’ two brothers followed him into the armed forces by joining the US Air force and entering Strategic Air Command. Both brothers are deceased. Lewis had already entered into the US Army Intelligence, learned Romanian, German, and Albanian languages through US Army schools, plus French and Spanish in high school and colleges; he worked with the National Security Agency, before retiring as a Chief Warrant Officer, US Army, as a Special Agent, Defense Intelligence Service in July 31, 1976.

Lewis has been writing for many years and has stories published in Chicken Soup for the Pre-teen, an article in the Tennessee Episcopalian, published in Knoxville, Tennessee; a story published in Farm and Ranch Living called The Christmas Loan, as well as many stories mentioned above. His other books are: The Cattail Wars, published by Choate Printers, Etowah, TN, and Stories for my Grandson, and A Sinner Talks with God, both published by Xlibris.

THE ADVENTURES OF PETER PORCUPINE

By

Lewis Martin Talmadge

Most people are afraid of porcupines because they think that the quills of porcupines will stick them and cause them pain. Well, this is true ONLY if porcupines are threatened. They cannot shoot their quills, but, they can use their tails to strike a predator. Porcupines are peaceful harmless animals and only fight to defend themselves and NEVER attack unless attacked!

CHAPTER I

Peter Porcupine Finds A Friend

Peter woke up early one day and decided that he did not feel good. I feel sad, he said out loud. Then he said, I do not want to get up and go outside. Peter was a lonely porcupine. He was lonely because he had no one to talk to or no one to play with. Peter was a VERY lonely porcupine. Peter pulled the covers tightly over his head and nestled down into his bed.

His mother had told him, whenever a stranger comes near to you, turn your back to it. Your sharp quills on your back will give you all the protection you need.

But Peter could not tell the difference between friendly and unfriendly animals; so he remained all alone in his house, in the deepest part of the forest.

One day a brown eyed doe came to his house to visit. He turned his back on her and she went running off-never to return.

On another occasion a pretty lady porcupine, with big round eyes came near Peter. Dumb Peter turned his back on her and she was so angry at him that she left in a huff. She never returned.

Once a small brown bear came to the forest and tried to make friends, but all he got was a paw full of sharp quills when Peter turned his back on him. The bear returned to try once again, but as soon as he saw the quills facing him he left in a hurry.

It was shortly after the incident with the bear that he started to think about the future and what his life was going to be.

I need somebody to talk to, to have a friend, a pal, he said aloud.

He thought about the good time he had at his mother’s house, with the dinners, birthdays and parties. Suddenly he remembered what the best part of those celebrations was: It was presents. Presents, he exclaimed aloud, jumping up and down. I’ll give somebody a present, and then they’ll like me.

He thought about the bear. He was just trying to be friendly, and all he got for his effort were quills in his paws; and I bet they hurt, too. I should have been nice to him when he came back. I sure hope I can do things right this time.

He left his house and walked to a small lake. He heard a splash, and looking out over the water he saw a big fish jumping at an insect.

That’s it, he exclaimed excitedly, of course! Bears like fish. I’ll catch a fish and give it to him. Then I’ll have a friend. I’ll dig up worms; use one of my quills for a hook. I can use string from my mattress for the line.

Quickly he began digging in the soil near the water’s edge. But he found no worms. He tried another spot, but still no worms.

There are just no worms here, he said aloud. This soil is no good. I wonder where I can find a better digging spot?

He placed a paw against his head for serious thinking. He remembered seeing humans digging up dirt in a nearby meadow. He ran off to the meadow and he started digging as soon as he got there.

Fast and furiously went his paws. Soon he had dirt flying all over the place. It went right over his shoulder and down his back.

Suddenly he stopped digging. He looked at his paws. His claws had things sticking to them.

What are these things? he wondered. They’re not worms, worms are brown. These are orange. Some kind of root. Well, he said, whatever they are, they’re not worms and that’s all I want today.

So it went for ten more minutes. But all he found was those orange roots, and no worms. He kept digging. Harder this time. Soon, he stopped digging and took a break. Peter was not used to hard work.

He sat in the hole he had dug and rested. Suddenly, he looked up and saw a pink nose. Peter was frightened. He stared at the nose. From behind the pink nose, he heard a very deep and gruff voice.

What are doing in MY garden? You’ve ruined it.

Poor Peter! He was so frightened he jumped straight up right out of the hole, and smack on his back in the middle of the dirt and those orange roots.

Remembering what his mother told him, he jumped from the dirt and showed his back to the creature.

He feared for his life. The voice sounded so mean, it had to be something big and dangerous. He tensed every muscle and waited for the stranger to attack.

There! He felt a tug at his back. He began to tremble. Then he felt another. Something was tugging at his back! He began to shake as he felt a third tug.

Thanks, friend. Thanks a lot. You are quite a friend.

Friend? No one had ever called him friend before. What did it mean? And who or what was pulling on his quills?

Peter couldn’t understand it. This creature called him a friend. He wondered if this creature was going to hurt him or not. Then he heard a sound. It was a crunching sound!

Something was making crunching sounds behind him. Was the creature going to eat him? His heart was beating faster and faster. Peter listened to the creature behind him. The creature seemed to be talking like he had his mouth full.

Peter couldn’t stand it any longer. He decided that if he were going to die he should see what it was.

He turned slowly around. His heart was beating wildly. To his utmost relief he saw that the voice belonged to nothing more than a long-eared, pink-nosed rabbit. This rabbit had a deep and gruff voice.

You sure can dig, friend, said the rabbit. I hurt my paw last week and haven’t been able to dig these carrots up by myself. I was getting pretty hungry, too.

The rabbit paused and looked at Peter. Say, buddy he said, Why are you digging up all these carrots?

I’m trying to get worms to go fishing. And, by the way, my name is Peter.

OK, don’t get mad. Why are you doing this, Peter? asked the rabbit. Porcupines don’t eat fish.

I’m trying to get worms, to catch a fish as a present so I can find a friend. And, by the way, what’s YOUR name?

Mine’s Robert, but they call me Robbie. Forget the worms and the fish, Peter, said the rabbit you don’t need presents to find a friend. All you need is trust and love.

He walked over to Peter, and carefully placing a paw around his shoulders, said, You just found your first friend. Me, Robbie the rabbit.

Finis

CHAPTER II

Peter Helps His Friend Robbie Rabbit

Peter Porcupine woke up this morning feeing good. His bedroom window was wide open and he took deep breaths of air. He stretched and yawned. He was alive and feeling good about himself.

Oh, my, he said. This air sure smells good. It smells so cool and fresh. I’ll take a walk through the woods today and see how my friend Robbie Rabbit is doing. I hope his paw is better. But first, he added, I better have my breakfast or I won’t be in any shape to do much walking.

He hurried though his breakfast of some of the carrots he had dug up with his new friend Robbie Rabbit. Together they had dug up a lot of carrots, and after tasting one or two; Peter decided that he liked them a lot.

He stepped outside and breathed in the fresh morning air. He said out loud, I smell something good. I wonder what it is. He sniffed again. Then he said, It smells good. Not leaves or roots, but it is something good. It smells like something good to eat.

Peter had not seen his friend, Robbie Rabbit, for two days and was worried about him. Peter was worried that Robbie might be a little hungry by now.

Peter said out loud, I never did ask if Robbie had a family or not. That would make a big difference if he had to find food for his family. I better get going and find Robbie and see if he needs help.

Peter began to hurry over to the carrot patch where they first met. Peter liked Robbie because he was the first one who ever called him ‘friend’.

He hurried through the forest as fast as any porcupine could walk. His head was down and his tail was trailing dust as he scurried along. Peter’s short legs were strong but they could not keep up with his anticipation of seeing Robbie again.

Just as he was about to pass through the forest and into the clearing where the carrots were, Peter stopped and took a big breath of air.

Whew, he said, That was a big run for me. I’ll stay here for a while and see if Robbie comes along. Peter sat back on a big log and looked out where the carrots were He hoped to see Robbie trying to get some of those carrots, and thought he could help him once again. Peter stared at the carrot patch but couldn’t see any sign of his friend Robbie.

Maybe I’m in the wrong place, Peter said to himself. Maybe I’ll go over by that big tree over there and see if I can see him.

Peter slowly moved over to a large tree that was just beyond the edge of the forest. It was an old tree, and had many long branches; the branches were all bending low towards the ground. Peter only glanced up at the tree, and then returned his gaze towards the carrot patch. He continued to the base of the tree and sat down. He didn’t see anything at all. But he did notice the wonderful smell! It seemed to be all around him.

Suddenly he spotted something or somebody on the other side of the tree.

Who’s there? he called, slightly scared of seeing something dreadful behind the tree. I see you, he said, trying to be brave and mean sounding. Come out and show yourself. Peter cautiously moved around the tree to see what was there; his quills ready for any danger.

Whoa, Peter. Whoa. said a timid voice. It’s me, Robbie Rabbit

Thank goodness it’s you, Robbie, said Peter, getting his natural voice back once again. "I didn’t