Burdens We Bear: Poems and Writings About My Experiences as a Woman of Color

By Selena Horton White

Burdens We Bear is a collection of the authors heartfelt and thought-provoking poems allowing you to better understand the joys and pains of her experiences as a woman of color in America. The book opens with the sobering challenges of Waking Up Black, followed by We Are Not Inferior, a quiet but strong declaration that gives a voice to past, present, and future generations. Poems such as First Cousins, When We Were Young, and Jars with Lids are presented to remind the reader of childhood memories and to give us a pause and a place for our minds and hearts to rest and smile while Sidewalk Shopping and Homeless Query serve to give a voice to homelessness. The heart of the book is found in challenging poems such as Summer of 91, Original Sin, Stony Hearts, and 4th of July. The beauty and anguish of black experience is communicated in waves on these pages. The tone of the hard work needed for reconciliation is stitched throughout. The admiration of famed Harlem Renaissance poet, Langston Hughes, is both seen and felt in many of her writings.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Feb 22, 2017
• ISBN: 9781524670672

Selena Horton White

Selena White is a native of Akron, Ohio, where she and her two sisters were raised by their parents, Charles and Lorraine Horton. She married Ukali White in 1994 and the two have 4 children, three of whom have graduated from homeschool and whose writings are often featured along with her own. Selena is not only an author, she’s also an educator, a public speaker, a workshop presenter, a mentor to women, and a sought after private tutor. She has a heart for teaching History to the next generation, especially the History of people of African descent. Her ‘Representation Matters’ teaching series does exactly that and has been viewed by many via Facebook Live Video. Selena and her family have attended Christ Community Chapel in the Highland Square area of Akron, Ohio since it was established. They were drawn there because of the opportunity to be part of a multi-ethnic Christian community. Their passion from the beginning has been to help followers of Christ, of different ethnic groups, break down the barriers between them to build authentic and lasting relationships. As a 43-year-old woman of color, Selena writes from her experiences and from the perspectives of a wife, mother, daughter, teacher, and a follower of Christ. It is her desire that her writing becomes one of the many tools in the fight to bridge the ever-widening gaps between ‘black’ and ‘white’.

Book preview

2017 SELENA HORTON WHITE. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 02/22/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-7068-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5246-7067-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017901853

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Dedications

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Waking Up Black

We Are Not Inferior

Is It OK?

Segue; When Silence Kills

Dreamless (A Boy with No Dreams)

Diverted Gaze

Burnt Sienna

Feeling Cute

Tell Me I Am Beautiful

The Dreamless State

Bombarded

Deal

Brainwashed

More Like Me

16 to Life (The Great Disparity)

Segue: Kalief Browder

Patience & Grace

Favored Sons

Segue; Isaiah’s Age

My Son, The Wanderer

When We Were Young

Pieces of Winter

First Cousins

Mama’s Sorrow

Blood Stained Prose

Misguided

Inherited Priorities

My Mothers Dress

When She Wakes

Forever Friends

Real Life

The Way It Is

Lionized

Sidewalk Shopping

Pristine

Denial

The Colorblind Lie

Segue; The Color-Blind Silence

The Negro Problem

Inauguration 2017

Our Invisible Lives

Subdued (Moon Gazer)

Veiled Dreams

Disclaimers

Segue; Compartmented Living

Undone

A Couple of Minutes (Too Many Hashtags)

Inventory/Birthday Musings

Just Above Water

Conquered (Running)

Original Sin

In Spite of

Creepin’

Sunrise

This Thing Called Life

Apologetic Symphony

Rooted

You Don’t See Me

Summer of 91’

Segue; Playing Cards

Unbreakable

Redacted

Jars with Lids

Sand in A Glass

Smooth Black

Poverty Stricken

Homeless Query

Scarred for Life

The Listening Heart

Quit Whining

Segue

I See Your Face

Tapestry

Mount Rushmore

Shaming

Segue; Thoughts of a Slave Girl (What Evil Is This?)

In This Skin (Upside Down)

Name Change

Til’ Then

Segue~ Black Lives Matter

Rhythms Reason

Cracked

Not Black Like Me

Unchained (Redemption)

This Thick Darkness

Light A Fire (Son Light)

Daylight

Testimony Service

Her Neighborhood

Twisted

Segue; What is Weakness? What is Strength?

Sleeping Demons

Brittle Hearts

Distress Call

Salvations Song

Segue; Extreme Distress

June Cleaver’s World

Segue; Dirty Dishes Chapter 5

Insecurity

When I Grow Up

Grace Prevails

Shattered Hearts

Trusting You

Still Dreams

Poetic Justice

Obsolete

The Battleground

Freedom’s Cry

[But] We Go to Church

Black Rain

Dry Ground

Painful Silence

Empty Chair

That Thing You Do

A Langston Hughes Vibe

Unrestrained

Don’t Regret Those Days (Dephawn’s Song)

Haunted Dreams

Blackened Hearts

My Grief

Blood & Brokenness (Slavery’s Legacy)

Segue; Is there a solution?

Stony Hearts (Critically Thinking)

Graceful Living

Layers

Mums the Word

Second Coming

Growing Pains

Unwilling Nomads

Segue; A Girl Named Maria

I Understand

Legacy Lost

Your Little Voice

One Day

20/20 Vision

Pray for Me

Daily Musings

I Thought That (What Does It Mean?)

Seasons Change

Broken from the Start

A Lesser Life

Tortured Soul

No Longer Broken

Face Unseen

Rotten Fruit

The 4th of July? What does it mean?

Segue; Being Patriotic

Dancing Off Beat

Black Love

We Danced

That Extra Mile

Awkward Silence

Segue; Reconciliation

Reconciliation

Now That I Am Awake

Segue; Consider This

Daddy’s Girls Ulonda

Selena

Stacie

-Burnt Coffee//kayla white

Gold//kayla white

Love//Isaiah White

Night//Isaiah White

It’s just-us//Isaiah White

Author//Jordan White

Man//Jordan White

Dedications

This book is dedicated first to my husband of 22 years, Ukali. I needed you for this. It was your strength and straightforward way of working with me that pushed this book to the finish line…that pushed me across that line! Thank you, Sweetie. There were difficult days as we processed all of this. You loved me through all of it; the brokenness of the period when a third of these poems were written, and all of the days in between and since. You are the love of my life, and I truly thank God for you daily.

To my four children; Kayla Breanne, Isaiah Charles, Jordan Christopher, Leah Renee. You guys have championed your mama for as long as I can remember. You were a willing audience when I was too afraid to share my writing, my heart, with anyone outside of home. Your responses were so biased, but I learned to trust your judgement as your gifts began to develop alongside my own. I look forward to seeing what you do and where you go. Your voice is heard within these pages. It gives my heart and my writing a new rhythm to publicly share your words for the first time. My babies are published 22 years before their mama! I could not be more pleased. Your voices need to be heard. Leah, your words aren’t here, but your work will be seen and felt behind the scenes, where you like to shine best. I love you guys. Commit your works to the Lord and your thoughts will be established. Proverbs 16:3

To my father, Charles Edward Horton, who did not live to see this…you were born in Alabama under Jim Crow Law. Those experiences are as real to me today as they were to you as a child. You and Mommie married as teenagers and you fought to break cycles and teach us that we could do anything. Daddy, I have cried often while working on this book. I knew that finishing it wouldn’t bring you back. I wouldn’t know which ones touched your heart or be able to hear the memories that another evoked. But I sit here tonight and all I can think is what I would say if you were here; I did it, Daddy! And I think that you would be proud of me….

To my grandmother, (Missionary) Mary Elizabeth Jones Solomon, you poured into me for years. You deliberately frustrated me so that I would search out truth in God’s word. You challenged what I thought and assumed to be true or right and wouldn’t accept any response not supported with scripture. I carried that Bible as a young girl through middle school and high school, largely, because I wanted to be ready the next time I saw you. I wanted to be ready to answer your challenge, and I knew any old answer was not acceptable. Each time I stayed the night, your writings are what I read before I went to sleep. They helped shape me. I fear that your writings and poems are lost to me, but I want you to know that your voice has found an audience through me on these pages. I love you Mommie Mary. We did it!

Acknowledgements

My mother, Lorraine Horton. You have believed in me