My Trail of Tears: A Message of Hope Unveiled

By Katherine S. Hamrick

No one is exempt from experiencing the loss of a loved one in this life; when it occurs, one is never fully prepared for the aftermath. A story of survival and acceptance, My Trail of Tears: A Message of Hope Unveiled examines author Katherine S. Hamricks journey of widowhood for which no amount of education or life experience could fully prepare her.

At just thirty-two-years of age, her husband, Brian Hamrick, died suddenly after a brief illness, leaving Katherine with two boys ages one and four. In this inspirational memoir, she narrates her story as she navigates her new roles as both a single parent and a widow, dealing with the reality of losing her spouse with no warning.

With photos included, My Trail of Tears depicts the hand of God at work during her time of grief and explains how God brought about the acceptance of her loss, using this time to draw nearer to Him and bless her in the process. Katherine shares her journey to show how a person can move on from experiencing tragedy to eventually being able to bring God glory again. In her detailed account of the behind-the-scenes part of her life, she shows how Christ works all things for His good purpose and how He healed her broken heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 3, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490891521

Katherine S. Hamrick

Katherine S. Hamrick earned a bachelor’s degree in political science with a minor in early childhood education from James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. She is a former elementary school teacher and pastor’s wife. Ms. Hamrick lives in the panhandle of Florida, with her two boys, Nathan and Luke.  

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Copyright © 2015 Katherine S. Hamrick.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9150-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9151-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9152-1 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/02/2015

Contents

Preface

Introduction

1 I’m a Recovering Widow

2 Another Test of Faith

3 Devoid and Dejected

4 New Revelations about Holidays

5 Anxious Thoughts

6 Mixed Emotions

7 His Birthday

8 A New Year

9 Brotherly Love

10 Sick and Tired

11 One Year Ago Today

12 A Place to Call Home

13 A Good Recall

14 A Time of Reflection

15 Our Anniversary

16 The Beginning of Our Ending

17 My Darkest Hour

18 The Memorial Services

19 From Pastor’s Wife to Widow

20 A Letter to Our Boys

21 A Letter to Our Church

22 Final Thoughts

Author’s Note:

Additional Photos:

About the Author

For Nathan and Luke

In memory of their Dad,

Pastor Brian

image1brian.jpg

Brian (1976-2009)

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains. It is the megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

- C.S. Lewis

PREFACE

My premise for this writing in the beginning was a means of stress relief to help me sort out my feelings in dealing with the loss of my spouse. Then the Lord impressed upon my heart that I could share this experience to help another soul who will walk down this path. I would like to thank my children for their patience and understanding in allowing me to complete this memoir. It would not have been possible otherwise. Thank you also to family and friends for encouraging me to make this project a reality and for being my soundboard as I struggled for clarity during these past two years. Most of all, I thank God for never giving up on me and for nudging me along ever so gently to step out in faith in sharing my story.

INTRODUCTION

No one is exempt from experiencing the loss of a loved one in this life, and when it occurs, one is never fully prepared for the aftermath. The whole ordeal of suddenly becoming a widow with children was a great fear of mine because I have experienced firsthand growing up in a fatherless home. My father died of a massive heart attack when I was a young girl, and I observed the trauma and brokenness that a family endures upon experiencing such loss. One of my worst fears became a reality on April 24, 2009, when my beloved Brian died unexpectedly in the hospital after 17 grueling days of battling illness. I never thought I would be in the position that I suddenly found myself in with my two boys who were ages 1 and 4 at the time. Thus begins my story of survival and acceptance as I trek down this journey of widowhood that no amount of education or life experience could ever fully prepare me for; however, I do know that my Lord is with me on this difficult and challenging plight I now tread.

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I’m a Recovering Widow

I WAS STANDING IN THE CHECK-OUT line of Wal-Mart with my boys, Luke, age 2, and Nathan, age 5, who were being typical children wanting everything they could get their hands on: gum, candy, and toys. They were wreaking complete havoc. I wanted to cry and then scream at the top of my lungs because I was just so tired. It seemed as if all of the shoppers in the store were looking at me, and they just wanted me to do something to appease these boys. I thought about screaming, Trust me I would have left them at home, but I am a WIDOW now and have no choice! There’s no one but me. Give me some sympathy! This happened several months after Brian’s passing, and is just one example of the many frustrating experiences that I have had in my new role as a single parent and widow. I will never look at a frazzled mother whose patience is being tested to the limits by her children in the same way again. One never knows what burden she may be carrying upon her shoulders. No one could have ever guessed my burden that day. Being judgmental is not the answer, but praying for a person who is obviously struggling is the best approach. I am inclined to tell people, Hi, my name is Katherine, and I’m a recovering widow, but I never do because I lack the courage and humility to admit my struggles and weaknesses.

Oh the challenges of widowhood. I must be clear. Becoming single again due to widowhood is far different than choosing to end a marriage. My sudden singleness was not a choice. Widowhood just happens! I didn’t want to be single. I was a happily married woman. I lost my marriage and my spouse all at once with no foreknowledge. I was married one moment and the next moment I was not anymore. It is sudden even if the death is expected. I