A New Life: A Novel

By L. J. Clayton

Kidnapped when she was a child, Susan Smith was forced into a life of prostitution as a teenager. For years, she endures unspeakable acts, eventually coming to believe that the only way out is through taking her own life. But God has another plan for her.

Phil Johnson lived a charmed life. He married his childhood sweetheart Beth and had two rambunctious, loving boys. While on vacation in California, Phil accidentally recorded two lawmen committing a crime, and suddenly his family becomes a target. A terrible car crash claims the lives of Phils wife and children, and he barely survives. Phil, overcome with grief and fear, walks and runs until he finds a hotel in the middle of the night.

When Susan and Phil meet at the hotel, Susan agrees to help him. Phil knows that the only way justice will be done is to recover the camcorder and take a DVD to the FBI. The two embark on a journey full of danger, one that tests the limits of faith and friendship. Susan discovers the awesome power of Gods grace, while Phil realizes healing from his loss can only come through Gods love.

But Phil and Susan soon learn that the past cannot be forgotten so easily.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jan 27, 2016
• ISBN: 9781490893785

L. J. Clayton

L. J. Clayton is a retired computer software engineer; he served four years in the US Navy and graduated from Auburn University. He has been married to Gloria for fifty years, and they have been active in local New Jersey churches throughout their marriage. They have four children, one deceased, and twelve grandchildren. A New Life is Clayton’s first novel.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Carlos was a night clerk at an upscale hotel in Northwest California. Shortly after midnight, he saw what appeared to be a ragged, homeless man walking up the driveway to the hotel. His first thought was he’d shoo him away, but he would be courteous about it. Then he thought that this might even be a holdup. Carlos stood behind the counter with his hand next to the emergency call button. As the man entered the lobby, Carlos said, as pleasantly as he could, May I help you?

Please pardon my appearance, but I was in a terrible car crash. I could have been killed, but except for a lot of bumps and bruises, I am okay. I lost all of my luggage. I’ll need a room for a couple of days to get some rest and to sort things out, the man said.

You look like you were run over by something. Do you need help? Carlos asked.

Thanks, but I have had all the help that I need. What I really need is to get some rest and sleep. The man handed Carlos his driver’s license for identification and a credit card. The license indicated that the man was Philip Johnson from Pine Creek, Georgia. He did look like the picture on the driver’s license.

Carlos checked the available rooms. I only have a room with a queen-size bed.

Anything will be fine.

Carlos ran the credit card through the system; it checked out okay. He gave Philip a room key card. The hotel has a complimentary cosmetics kit that has a razor if you need it.

I will need it. Thank you.

Philip went to the room and showered. He rinsed his underwear and hung them to dry in the bathroom and wore his ragged clothes to bed. He was dead tired and felt as if he would sleep for a couple of days.

Just as he was getting to sleep, the door suddenly burst open and two men in police uniforms came charging in. Philip was instantly wide awake, but no one else was there. This nightmare kept repeating every time he tried to sleep. He tried reading a magazine until he fell asleep, but that did not help. If he couldn’t get some sleep, he feared he may go insane.

Philip thought he heard a moan and was wide awake. He went by his door and listened and was certain that he could hear someone sobbing. He peeked through the peephole in his door. His room was the last one in the corridor, and he could see a woman leaning against the end of the corridor, sobbing profusely. She was wearing slacks, and all of her clothes he could see were colorful. He went out to her, but she didn’t see him until he said, Excuse me.

She turned around, and Philip could see that her tears had smudged her makeup and her brunette hair was all tangled. Yes?

Can I help you with something?

The woman shook her head and responded, No, I don’t think so.

My name is Phil, and I would like to help you if I can.

I am Roxie, and no one can help me.

Roxie, God loves you and wants to help you.

If there were a God who loved me and wanted to help me, He wouldn’t have let all these things happen to me.

As Phil reflected on all these things for just a moment, Roxie abruptly changed the subject. Your clothes make you look like you need help.

The clothes I am wearing are all that I have left.

"What happened, Phil

I just lost my wife, the love of my life, in a horrible car crash. I should have been killed, not her. She did not deserve to die. Phil’s voice was so broken that it was difficult to understand him. He choked up in tears and could not continue.

Roxie was able to decipher what he said and felt pity for him, but she did not know how to console a distraught man. She started to reach out to him but then pulled back, not knowing if a touch would help or hurt. She thought that he must have really loved his wife. That is horrible, she said.

Phil regained his composure. "I don’t want to tell you much about it, but the circumstances of the crash are causing me such nightmares that I can’t sleep, and I’m going crazy. Every time I try to sleep, I dream of someone crashing into my room to take me.

Roxie took a bottle out of her pocket and handed Phil a pill. Maybe this sleeping pill will help you sleep.

Phil looked at the bottle and the pill, and he could see that it was actually an over-the-counter sleep aid pill. He had some just like it at home. Thanks, Roxie, it might help.

I hope you sleep well, Phil. Roxie quickly left and was gone before Phil could say anything else.

Phil was angry with himself as he went back into his room. Roxie was obviously in need of something, and all he had found out was her first name. He pondered a while whether or not it would be safe to take the pill. He finally decided to take the pill and lie down. The pill did not help much, but talking with Roxie seemed to calm him enough that he didn’t have any more nightmares. It took a while, but after he tossed and turned a while, he dropped off to sleep.

Chapter 2

Phil woke about mid-morning and tried to think about what he would do in a strange place while dressed in the rags he had. He heard a soft knock on his door. His first thought was that it was nightmare coming back, but his nightmares had always come crashing through the door. He peeked through the peephole in his door and saw a woman dressed in an old jogging suit. He decided that it was Roxie even though she looked quite different than she did the night before. He opened the door and greeted her. Good morning, Roxie.

Good morning, Phil. I hope I am not disturbing you.

Not at all, what can I do for you?

You were kind to me last night, and I would like to do something for you.

I didn’t do that much.

It meant something to me, and I could get you some more clothes for you if you would like. There is a store near here.

I would appreciate that very much.

Give me a list with sizes, but you will have to give me some money because I am flat broke.

Phil took a note pad from a desk and made a list of things he needed, with his guess on the cost. He gave Roxie the list with his guess of money it would cost. He gave her something extra in case it cost more than his guess. Roxie took the list and the money.

After Roxie was gone, Phil thought, I should have kissed that money goodbye. All I know about Roxie is her name. Maybe she needs it more than I do if she is flat broke.

The store was not busy, and Roxie quickly found what Phil needed. It cost a little more Phil’s estimate estimated cost, so she used some of the extra he had given her. On the way out of the store, a newspaper headline caught her eye. It read, Georgia Mother and Two Children Killed in Crash. Husband Sought. She read some of the story and saw that they were searching for Philip Johnson. The mother’s name was Elizabeth, and the boys were Ryan and Neil. Roxie thought, Phil is that man. The article stated that anyone with information should call the sheriff of Rocky Gulch. She thought about calling but then decided that something was not right about it. No one could fake a breakdown like she had seen the night before. She could always call later.

About the same time, Carlos saw the same article and did make the call. The sheriff was surprised that Philip could have gotten so far, unless he’d had help. He guessed that it would take him about a half hour to get there. Carlos told him that Philip would probably still be asleep.

Roxie went back to the room and gave the clothes and the change to Phil. She could tell Phil had shaved and combed his hair, but something was off. He looked as if he were in shock. Roxie asked, What happened to you?

I called a friend at home. My home has burned down, and the company where I worked went out of business. I have no wife, I have no children, I have no home, and I have no job. I have nothing. Phil sat sobbing with his face in his hands.

That’s awful, Roxie said.

Phil got up. I have to get out of here. I registered in my own name. If anyone comes looking, he will find me. Someone really is looking for me.

You got that right. I saw an article about you in the paper. There is a sheriff looking for you. The article said that you went around a curve too fast, ran off the road, and rolled down an embankment.

That is not at all the way it happened. If I told you what really happened, your life could be in jeopardy. In fact, you could be in danger if you were even seen with me.

Roxie thought a moment. I can handle it. Just tell me what happened.

We were at the wrong place at the wrong time and saw something we should not have seen. The crash that killed my family and should have killed me was no accident. I have to get back to the scene and recover something that shows what happened. It is really a long story, but right now I must get away from here.

We could go to my apartment, Roxie suggested.

Are you sure you want to do this? Phil asked.

Positive. We cannot be seen together on a security camera. I will leave now, and you can change clothes and meet me outside.

Where will we meet?

Roxie pointed to a car in the parking lot. Do you see that blue car over there in the parking lot? That’s my car. I’ll take it down the street. Get your stuff and go to the counter and check out. Ask the clerk where you can catch a bus downtown—that would send anyone looking for you on a wild goose chase. They will send you two blocks down the street. Take a left at the traffic light, and I’ll be there waiting for you.

Roxie left, and Phil did as he was told. He did not have the faintest idea why Roxie was so willing to help him. He changed clothes and checked out early enough that he was charged for only one day. The clerk directed him to the bus stop, just where Roxie had said the clerk would send him.

As he was nearing the corner, Phil was struck with fear. A big SUV was waiting in line for the traffic light; it was the same color as the one belonging to the Rocky Gulch sheriff. There was a lady nearby with a small boy and a dog. Phil turned his back to the traffic and talked with the boy about his dog. When the light changed and the traffic went by, Phil saw that it really was the sheriff in the SUV. He watched as the vehicle turned into the hotel driveway. He wondered if the night clerk had called the sheriff. Phil hurried on around the corner, hoping that Roxie would be there. Relief washed over him when he saw that she was.

Phil told Roxie that the sheriff he feared was at the hotel, and she quickly drove away. Roxie took Phil to a buffet restaurant where she often ate. It had a large selection of good food. Phil was so hungry that anything would have tasted good. Phil paid for the meal because Roxie had said that she was broke.

They went to Roxie’s apartment. This was a modest apartment in an old, run-down neighborhood, but it was clean and neat.

Chapter 3

Roxie said, Okay, Phil, if I am going to help you, I need to know everything that happened. Why were you even in California?

My company in Georgia gave me an unexpected month’s vacation and paid me in advance, Phil said.

Roxie remarked, That was very nice.

"It seemed odd, but I didn’t turn it down. My wife, Beth, and I made a quick decision to take our sons, Ryan and Neil, to the West Coast. Ryan is seven years old, and Neil is six. It was time for their spring break from school, and I knew Beth would be good at keeping the boys’ education up for the time we would miss. I bought a good camcorder to record the trip. I’d wanted a lot of zoom capability, in case we saw some things far away that we wanted to record, and one that recorded on DVDs so I could pop them in and out when I wanted.

"We tried to see many of the most popular places as well as some out-of-the-way places. We recorded highway signs so we could remember where we were. Some places we stopped were of no particular significance, but they gave the boys a chance to run and play. The boys were allowed to operate the camcorder from time to time so they could record what they wanted to remember. By the time we had gotten to this part of California, we had already filled one DVD and halfway filled another.

"We took a side road that went through a small town named Rocky Gulch. There was a spot with a good view, and it had a place to pull off the road. It wasn’t an official pullover, but it appeared to be used for one. It was time to give the boys a break, so we pulled over. There was a long, steep rocky hill that led to the bottom of a valley in front of the car. Beth and I walked around, and the boys ran and played. I recorded some of the scenery with Beth and the boys in the picture. Ryan wanted the camcorder, so I let him have it for a while. There was not much telling what he might have recorded.

Neil asked about some men that he saw, and I went to look. They were too far away to tell much about them. I told Ryan to bring the camcorder so I could zoom in and see what they are doing. Ryan brought the camcorder, still recording. I zoomed in as close as I could. There were four men, two of them in uniforms. They seemed to be arguing about something. Then the two uniformed men shot the other two men.

Roxie exclaimed, Holy smoke! What had the men done?

I have no idea, but I decided that we had better get away from there. I scanned the area a little to help pinpoint the location. Then I turned the camcorder off and put it in its case. As we walked toward the car, I noticed a police car parked next to our car. Two policemen, wearing the same uniforms as the two in the valley, were coming down the hill. I didn’t think they had seen the camcorder and decided that it might be better to ditch it until I found out what was happening. I dropped the camcorder into a crevice and put a rock over it.

Roxie remarked, That sounds like a good move.

"As we met the policemen, one of them asked us what we were doing there. I told them that we were just giving the boys a chance to run around and play a little. Then I asked if this were private property. One policeman responded, ‘It’s no big deal. We just want to make sure no one starts a fire here.’

"In his innocence Neil blurted out, ‘A man shot another man.’

"The officer asked, ‘Where? Did you see him do it?’

"I cut in, ‘We don’t know that for sure.’

"Neil pleaded, ‘But Daddy, you told us to always tell the truth.’

"I told him, ‘That’s right, Neil, but we do not know what they were doing because they were too far away. They were far down in the valley.’ In my heart I prayed, please don’t say anything about the camcorder.

"Beth said, ‘I didn’t see anything. I just heard the sound.’

"One of the officers made a call on his cell phone. I heard him say, ‘Sheriff Tate, this is Murdoch. We have some witnesses up here on the hill.’

"Murdoch seemed polite enough. He said, ‘I need to get some information on you. Can I see both your drivers’ licenses?’

"As he wrote down the information, he said, ‘From Georgia, I see. What are the boys’ names?’

"While he was finishing collecting the information, the sheriff drove up in a big SUV and parked right behind our car. He seemed very cordial and asked me, ‘I understand you saw a shooting. Where was it?’ I told him that it was far down in the valley and too far away to tell much.

"The sheriff was smiling as he told us, ‘Get in your car and follow me to the police station. We will get a statement from you, and you can be on your way.’

We got in the car, and Beth and the boys dutifully buckled themselves in. I was too flustered and just got in, started the engine, and put the car in reverse. All at once, I realized that the SUV was pushing us. Our compact car was no match for the big SUV, and over the edge we went. The car tumbled wildly down the mountain. I could hear everybody screaming. Phil broke down and sobbed.

Roxie was horrified and had tears in her eyes. No! No! No!

When Phil was able, he continued, "Somehow, I fell out of the car between two big rocks. I felt paralyzed and could not move, though I could still see and hear. The screaming had stopped. The sheriff bellowed out, ‘It looks like somebody ran off the road and down the mountain. Go down there and see what you can find out.’ When the other policemen walked by me, I knew I was finished. They must have walked within ten feet of me, but they didn’t see me between the rocks.

"Gradually, feeling started coming back to my limbs, and I could move a little. There wasn’t much blood, but I didn’t know how many bones might be broken. I hoped that if I could just crawl between rocks, I might be able to make it to a clump of trees. If I could, I might have a chance. It seemed to take forever, but I made it to the trees. From the bottom of the hill, one of the policemen yelled, ‘The woman and boys are dead, but we can’t find the man.’ The sheriff called back, ‘Find him. He is down there somewhere.’

I finally was able to stand up. I was hurting everywhere, but I didn’t think I had any broken bones. I knew from what the sheriff had said that they were going to claim that we had run off the road. I couldn’t let them get away with it. I started moving as fast as I could to get away from there. I was hurting so much I just wanted to lie down and cry, but I had to move. How could such a fun vacation so quickly turn into something so bad? Phil was in tears again.

Roxie exclaimed, That is just horrible.

"I stayed off the road but tried to go parallel to it. It took a couple hours to make it back to Rocky Gulch. I had seen the police station when we went through the town. The first person I saw when I arrived there was the sheriff. I turned and ran around the station toward some trees behind it. He was behind me yelling, ‘Come back here!’ Then he started shooting at me, but I made it into the trees without getting hit. I saw his SUV parked in the rear of the building. I don’t know why it hadn’t occurred to me that it would be the same police—it must have been the shock. I scrambled over rocks and through bushes so he couldn’t follow me in a vehicle. The sheriff was too big and fat to outrun me.

"I found a trail and ran the fastest mile of my life. Then I got off and went through some bushes. I could run—I ran cross-country on the track teams in high school and college. Those policemen could never catch me on foot, but I had to stay off of roads and trails where vehicles could travel. I was so tired and hurting I wanted to quit, but I had to keep telling myself, you can’t let them get away with this.

"I found a stream and ran downstream in the water, thinking it might be harder for them to track in water if they sent bloodhounds to trail me. After a while, I got out and went through some more woods.

There was a narrow dirt road I started walking parallel to. I heard a car behind me and turned and saw a police car. I quickly ducked behind a big rock, but I was sure I had been seen. There was no cover nearby. I was a goner. My only hope would be to make a run for it when the car stopped. Maybe it would take them a little time to get their guns ready. Maybe they couldn’t shoot any better than the sheriff. But they must have been looking another direction when they came around that curve, because the car didn’t stop.

Roxie commented, That was a break.

Phil continued, "I found a bigger paved road and walked parallel to it until I saw a service station. I was able to find the number for the state police and call them on my cell phone. Someone agreed to meet me at the service station after I told them that it was a matter of life and death and that it involved local police. I stayed out of sight until a state police car came. Just as I was about to come out, the Rocky Gulch sheriff showed up and started talking with the state policeman. I feared that I was really in trouble because the state police might be involved, and I hurried away from there.

"I went a good distance away and called my best friend, Harry Murphy. His wife, Molly, is Beth’s best friend. I told him the horrible news—that Beth and the boys had been killed in a car crash. I asked him to trust me, telling him that I was in a situation that I couldn’t explain and I could not tell him where I was. He has power of attorney over all my affairs, so I asked him to call the Rocky Gulch sheriff and say that he found out that Beth and the boys had been killed. He should tell the sheriff that he is coming to claim the bodies. I told him to bring Beth’s brother Charlie King who is a lawyer. If the sheriff objects to releasing the bodies, he could tell him that he’ll get a court order. The threat might be all it will take. I asked him to call my mother and Beth’s mother, because I knew I would break down completely if I tried to talk with either of them. Then I let him know that I had something that had to be done, and I would contact him again.

After the call, I went on toward a city. The further I got from Rocky Gulch, the safer I felt. I decided to get on the highway and run. Even with running as much as I could and then walking to catch my breath, it took until well after dark to get to the city. Then it took a while to find the hotel. I checked in, and you know the story from there.

Roxie was shocked. She knew of the location where the tragedy occurred, but she’d never stopped there.

Phil told Roxie, I have to get my camcorder so I can prove what happened. My word against that of four policemen may not hold up. I need to give a copy of the shooting to the FBI.

I’ll take you there to get it. What will you do if the policemen come while you’re there? Roxie asked.

I hope I can get in and get out before anyone comes. But you could get yourself killed if you are there with me.

Let me worry about that. Give me a little time, and I’ll come up with a plan. How many DVDs are in your camcorder case?

There are three: one is fully recorded, one is in the camcorder, and the other is new and unused, Phil said.

Okay, I’m thinking. Tell me something about Ryan and Neil. Where did they get their names?

At the mention of the boys, Phil was overcome with grief. After he regained his composure, he told her, They were named after their two grandfathers. I think they were typical young boys. They remind me of my brother and me when we were their age. They were polite and considerate. Beth taught them that. They were generally well-behaved, but did get into little squabbles from time to time. But they never fought—their mother wouldn’t tolerate that kind of behavior.

Phil was thinking, This Roxie is a real enigma. I just met her and now she seems willing to lay her life on the line for me. He was so grateful for her help, because he did not believe he was capable of making rational decisions at this time. His mind was muddled, but he knew he didn’t want Roxie to be in danger because of him.

After some time, Roxie said, I’ve got it! I have a plan. We’ll go to the place together. If no one sees us, nothing is lost. If someone comes, my plan might save your life.

What about your life? Phil asked.

I have to stay alive to keep you alive, Roxie said.

Well, what is the plan?

I will be a prostitute named Roxie Rhodes. That won’t be hard because that is who I am. Starting right now, you are a mentally handicapped man named Bert Brewer.

Phil was shocked to find out that Roxie was a prostitute. He had not given any thought to how she made a living. He continued, But people can look at me and figure out who I am,

When I get done with you, your own mother won’t know who you are. Just remember that you are Bert, not Phil, Roxie said.

How am I going to do that?

Patience. I am coming to that. I can’t let you talk because you will give yourself away. Just remember these things: Remember your new name. Don’t look anyone in the eye. Mumble when you talk. Stare at the ground. I will do the rest, Roxie said.

Do you think it will work?

Not if I can understand you as I just did. Everything you say must be unintelligible. Do you understand? Roxie asked.

I think so, Phil said.

No, you don’t. I understood you, and you looked at me. Try again.

Glubub.

That was better, but you looked up after you finished talking.

After eating TV dinners for supper, Roxie had Bert practice. You need to drag your feet when you walk. When she was satisfied with his walk, she said, This might work as long as can remember that you are Bert. You can sleep here tonight if you like.

Phil asked, I don’t think that would be a good idea. This is Phil talking. Do you know where I can find a hotel?

There is one about a block away unless you want a plush one.

All I want is a comfortable bed.

I am sure they have one. Be here at eight o’clock if you want breakfast with me.

Glubble.

You are welcome.

Roxie gave him another pill and a change of clothes for him to put on in the morning. She thought, I suppose he needs some time to himself to mourn for his family.

Phil walked to the hotel and checked in. The bed was old, but it was comfortable. Phil called Harry and found that they had an early morning flight. Phil told Harry that he had to keep his cell phone off except for making calls because he didn’t have a charger. He took his pill and tossed and turned a while and finally went to sleep.

Chapter 4

Phil knocked on Roxie’s door at eight o’clock, and Roxie opened the door to the aroma of coffee brewing and ham cooking. Roxie greeted him with a cheerful, Good morning, Phil.

Good morning, Roxie.

Bert, you blew it. You responded to ‘Phil,’ you looked at me, and I could understand you.

Mumble, mumble.

Okay. You don’t have to be concerned about your appearance this morning, because I am going to fix you up. Right now, let’s eat.

After they had eaten a delicious breakfast, Roxie showed him a driver’s license for a bearded man by the name of Bert Brewer. Don’t ask how I got this license. That is you. Well, actually that is a picture of me. I put on that disguise when I want to get away at times. But I’m almost as tall as you, and I’m going to make you look like that. I don’t think anyone will measure you to see if you are that height.

First, take off your wedding band and put it and everything else that could identify you as Phil into this bag. Phil took off his wedding band, feeling as if he was parting with a piece of his body. Roxie went to work putting a beard on him. I’m gluing this beard on in case someone wants to test it. I have a solvent that will take it off. She worked on him for a good while, even changing the color of his hair. Then she showed him a mirror and the driver’s license. You are now Bert. He really did look a lot like the picture. Roxie was a good makeup artist. She put the driver’s license in a wallet along with a few of other things, including some pictures that identified him as Bert Brewer. She told him to make illegible scribbles if he had to sign anything. Bert remembered to mumble his responses.

Roxie brought out a big, heavy handbag that was stuffed with odds and ends. She showed him a false bottom with a secret compartment that could hold a few DVDs. The first thing we do when we get the camcorder is shove any recorded DVDs into this compartment. Then we put the blank DVD into the camcorder. I have another DVD with an interesting video to put in the case.

Roxie made Bert walk around a little, testing him. When she was satisfied, they got into her car and headed for Rocky Gulch. Roxie reminded him that he was to stay Bert until they are certain that they were in the clear. She would call him Phil when she thought the time was right.

Roxie took Bert through Rocky Gulch and past the crash scene. She drove past the area by a couple of miles and circled back when they felt certain no police were around. Roxie was no engineer, but she could see from the curvature of the road that a car traveling too fast would run off the opposite side of the road and into an embankment. There was no evidence that had happened.

She parked in the same spot where Phil’s family had parked. Bert was too emotional to say anything, so he just motioned with his hand to where the car had gone. Roxie could see tire tracks remaining from a vehicle sliding over the edge. It was clear that no one could have survived a tumble down the long, boulder-strewn incline. They went quickly to where the camcorder had been hidden. It was still there. Bert ejected the DVD from the camcorder and loaded the new one. He gave the two DVDs to Roxie, and she quickly stowed them into the secret compartment and gave Bert another DVD to put in the case. He showed her where they had seen the shooting, and then they started back to the car.

Suddenly Roxie grabbed Bert and put her arms around him. Just as quickly, she pushed him away. Oh! Where did you come from? Roxie said to the two men who seemed to have materialized before them. Bert recognized the policemen and quickly remembered to look at the ground.

What are you doing here? asked one of the policemen.

Roxie answered in an altered voice, We were just going to have a little fun, but we didn’t expect to see anybody here. Are we trespassing?

No, but we need to know who you are. I am Officer Murdoch, and this is Officer Harris. We just want to make sure no one starts a fire here.

Bert thought, where did I hear that line before?

I am Roxie Rhodes, and this is Bert Brewer. Say hello, Bert.

Ugh.

Do you have any identification?

Roxie showed him hers and got Bert to show his. The officer asked Bert, What is your name?

Bert stared at the ground. Mum, mum.

Roxie offered, He wasn’t always like this. He had a stroke, and this is what happened to him. He wouldn’t be able to get a driver’s license today, but they don’t give tests for renewals.

He looks like he would be a danger on the highway, Murdoch said.

He doesn’t really drive, but he likes to keep his license for identification. He actually knows what is going on most of the time but has trouble communicating. I can usually understand him.

What are you doing here?

Bert lives close to me. He likes to come to my apartment and talk because I am one of the few people who can understand him enough to talk with him. I decided to bring him here to have some real outdoor fun. We even brought a camcorder so he can remember what we did.

Murdoch did all the talking. Have you ever heard of Philip Johnson?

Does he play football for the Los Angeles Dodgers?

That’s a baseball team.

Does he play baseball then? Roxie asked.

No, he doesn’t play baseball, Murdoch said.

Basketball?

No.

Is he an actor that plays a football player?

He doesn’t do any of that.

Roxie offered, My sport is car racing.

Name some of the drivers.

Junior is kind of cute, but there are several cute drivers out there. Wait! Your guy is not a racecar driver. Maybe Bert knows who he is.

Roxie took Bert by the cheeks, looked him in the eyes, and asked, Bert, do you know Philip Jackson? Then she said more slowly, Philip Jackson?

Ugh.

Murdoch interrupted, No, it’s Johnson.

Okay, Johnson?

Bert replied, Ugh, mug.

He doesn’t know him.

We need you to come to the station to inspect your things. We don’t want any fires here.

Bert could only think, Oh, no! They’re going to shove us down the mountain.

When they got to the car, Bert was relieved to see the police car was parked beside Roxie’s car. Roxie followed the police car to the station. The police took pictures of both of them. They made Roxie dump her big bag, which had everything but the kitchen sink in it. They played the DVD in the camcorder and found it to be blank.

Roxie explained, Of course it is blank because we haven’t done anything.

Then they played the DVD that Roxie had dropped into the case. Roxie commented, She’s good, isn’t she?

Bert was afraid to look, but he took a peek anyway. It was just a woman dancing,