From My Heart

By A.B. Murphy

At 62, Alice suddenly died, entering into her afterlife, not sure what she would find. But, when she met the Man in the three-piece suit, Alice was given a very special opportunity to fulfill one of her lifelong dreams.

Meanwhile, in Savannah, Cassie Monroe's family is preparing to take her off life support. Yet, the Man in the three-piece suit has other plans. He removes Cassie's soul, replacing it with Alice's.

Alice's soul gives Cassie a new beginning, opening her up to a world that was only alive in Alice's fantasies. These two individuals are now connected by the Father, who by the way, just happens to be the Man in the Three-piece suit.

• Language: English
• Publisher: A.B. Murphy
• Release date: May 20, 2016
• ISBN: 9781311950956

A.B. Murphy

After 19 years as a police officer, I retired just to turn around and work another job for 9 more years. At the age of 61, I decided it was time to retire...again. Somewhere along he way, I realized I could tap into my imagination and share my stories with others. It took me a while to get the nerve to publish my book, but with the help of family and friends, I bit the bullet and pursued my dreams. This is my first endeavor as an author.

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FROM MY HEART

A Novel

The Cassie Monroe Series

Book One

A.B. Murphy

FROM MY HEART

A.B. Murphy

Published by A.B. Murphy at Smashwords

Copyright © 2016 by Alice Murphy

All right reserved. This book is a book of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. All characters are fictional and any similarities to people, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Cover image courtesy of FreeImages.com/zyzx

This book is dedicated to three very important people in my life who have helped my dream become a reality. Special thanks to:

Aunt Dixie, Sara and Deb

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Author’s Notes

Chapter 1

What in the world is that? I was getting ready for work, looking at my reflection in the mirror. Shit, is that another hair on my lip? I am almost sixty-two years old and every day, I find another sign of old age creeping up on me.

Getting old sucks! I continue to look at myself in the mirror, getting more and more upset. Oh well, there's just so much you can do to make yourself look good when you get my age.

I turn away from the mirror as fast as I can. Great...here it comes. The darkness is surrounding me, pulling me down into that deep dark hole again. I'm starting to go into panic mode. Breathe deep and count to ten. This is what my therapist tells me to do when I feel my world slipping away. Which, I might add happens a lot. And, I also might add, the counting never works!!!

I can't do this today...I have to go to work. I have missed so much time dealing with my miserable life. My boss is right on the verge of firing me. Go to your happy place, Alice. You know where that is. For months, the only thing that can bring me out of this funk is watching my new favorite movie, From My Heart. I have no idea how many times I have watched that movie...some days maybe three times. I couldn't get enough of it or the handsome star, who incidentally is young enough to be my son.

Stop that...it's just a fantasy, I firmly stated. And trust me... I live in that fantasy world as often as I can. Don't get me wrong, my obsession with this star isn't of the unhealthy nature. I am not stalking him or writing him letters. I am just dreaming. Wishing my youth back so then ...I can stalk him without looking like some old fart acting like a fool.

If you haven't figured it out yet, my life sucks. There really isn't a time in my life I can say I have been truly happy. You know what I mean...nothing ever working out for me. When I look really close at my life, here is what I see. I'm not a dog, as far as my looks go, but I am far from being a beauty. When I was younger, I had an OK body, but as I got older, the backside got larger and the boobs got saggier!!! Wait ...is that a word?

I pulled myself together and started out the door. I would almost rather take a beating than go to work. It's me, not work. My co-workers are great and I over-exaggerated about my boss firing me. Actually, during my depression, she has been very understanding.

There...I said it. I AM DEPRESSED!!! My life sucks and I am depressed. WOW!!! My therapist would really be proud of me for saying this. It's a shame it doesn't work because I am still freaking depressed.

As I drive to work, my mind automatically goes into my fantasy mode. Oh, I have several different scenarios in my fantasy file. One is where I win 450 million dollars playing Powerball. In this dream, I move to Nashville and buy my way into dozens of country star's lives. Oh, it's wonderful what money can do for you. Actually, this is really a good dream needing to be told, but maybe another time.

On this particular morning, I am struggling, so I jump right into my most favorite fantasy. And guess who my co-star is? You have guessed right...The very young handsome actor of my favorite film, Jeron Maxim!!! Oh, my …just saying his name makes me feel a little better. Now, I have all of the scoop on his personal life, because I read the Hollywood scuz magazines. And everyone knows that stuff is real.

Anyway, I had been reading about him and his co-star girlfriend and how she will not marry him. He is so upset over this. Well, this gives me an opportunity to meet him and make him fall madly in love with me. Oh, I forgot to mention, I have the 450 million dollars in this fantasy too. So, here I am in Hollywood and I have bought my way onto his movie set.

I'm walking up to where they are filming and there he is. OMG...he is so gorgeous!!! He is right in the middle of a big love scene with his real life girlfriend, when he looks out in the crowd and our eyes meet. Once again, OMG...my heart is beating so loud, I am sure he can hear it. He starts toward me and I, toward him. This is it...true love at first sight. As we are about to embrace ...something brings me back to reality. Shit! I am already at work, so I have to come back to the real world, saddened that I didn't even get to kiss him. Oh well, maybe during my ride back home after work!!

OK...do you now see just how badly my life sucks? Let me explain how it all started.

~~~~~~~~ 

I was born in Texas, but raised in Ozark, Arkansas. My school years were very forgettable. I wasn't popular, so my social life was close to nothing.

There are a very few things I can remember about my childhood. In grade school, I was skinny and more than a little homely. Therefore, I was made fun of on a regular basis. Hey Monkey Girl or Wicked Witch was thrown in my direction every day.

Then one day, the unmentionable thing happened to me. My dad liked to drink, but never alone. One night, he invited a drinking buddy over to the house. Mom worked second shift, so Dad was my babysitter.

He passed out first, so that left me all alone with his buddy. Being ten years old, I was still a trusting little girl. So, I wasn't afraid when his friend came in my room. He made some lame excuse he thought my room was the bathroom. I told him it was the door across the hall and he left.

I was getting sleepy so I turned out the light and got under my covers. My door always squeaked when it was opened, so I knew someone was in my room. The first thought that went through my mind was my Daddy checking on me. But, I soon realized it was the other man.

First, he just sat down on the side of the bed and asked me if I was alright. I told him I was and said goodnight. But, he had other ideas, which included me. Needless to say, my whole world became very ugly and I was never the same.

Just as he was finished taking away all of my innocence, my dad walked in and started screaming. But guess what...it was me he was mad at. He made the man leave and then he spanked me. I was told how awful I was and to not tell anyone or I would get a beating next time.

When Mom came home, she knew immediately what had happened but never spoke of it to me. She just changed my sheets and tossed them in the dumpster. From that day forward, I realized I was totally alone.

After I graduated from school, Mom committed suicide and a year later, Dad died in a car accident. I was nineteen years old, with no relatives. The house was paid for so at least I had a place to live.

Because I had to eat and keep the utilities on, I went out to find a job. The Shoe Factory in Clarksville was hiring, so I put in my application. Two days later, they hired me. I worked there until I turned twenty-one. Needing a change, I sold my home and moved to Springdale for my new beginning.

My new beginning consisted of working at the hospital and watching TV. I decided to go to a local church and that's where I met Sara. Her family basically adopted me. She became my best friend and the sister I never had. Throughout the years, they were the only constant in my life.

I dated over the years, but never found true love. Most of my unhappiness stemmed from the night my youth was stolen. I just couldn't trust a man not to hurt me. So, I lived my life as a hermit, never really experiencing total happiness.

~~~~~~~~ 

My work is over and it's time to go home. Another night alone. Oh...wait a minute...where was I in that hot fantasy this morning? Oh yeah...just about to kiss my movie star. So I pucker up to plant one on him. I'm leaning in for the long awaited kiss and once again, I am....pulled back into reality! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

I hear a horn honking. Looking in the rear view mirror, I see a man in a huge black pickup and he is throwing a fit! Guess what!!! It's me he's mad at!!! I had daydreamed through most of the green light. Quickly, I put the pedal to the metal just as the light turned yellow. Looking once again in the mirror, I see him waving at me with both of his Mr. Tall Man fingers!! That's when I lost it. I laughed and cried all the way home. This is just another exciting chapter of my life.

Turning into my driveway, I actually feel relieved to be home. I pulled into the garage, closing the door behind me. I go inside and throw my stuff down, wishing I at least had a dog to greet me. After a quick call to order a pizza, I changed clothes and waited for my Friday night TV shows to begin.

After about twenty minutes, the doorbell rang. Grabbing the twenty-dollar bill, I ran to the door. I paid the delivery boy and thanked him for getting the pizza to me so fast. And then I stuffed my face with the best cheese pizza I have ever eaten. Oink, Oink, Oink!!! I'm such a pig. But that didn't stop me from eating four ice cream bars from my freezer. GEEZ!!!

I fell onto my recliner and decided to call my best friend, Sara. She is always there for me. Always listening ...never judging. If I laugh, she laughs. If I cry, she cries with me. I told her about the man and his tall man salutes and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

That's what I love most about Sara and her family. There is so much laughter. They love to have fun. So my most favorite memories of my life are the times spent with them.

In my mind, Sara has a direct line to God. Her faith is an important part of her life. Most of the time, I didn't agree with her. But, she still loves me and has never given up on me finally seeing the light. Actually, I don't know if I even believe in God. That's where a lot of my confusion comes from. I try to play the part, but most of the time I fail horribly.

As she began telling me about her day, I started feeling sick at my stomach. Man, I should have stopped at six pieces of pizza and two ice cream bars. But no ...I had to eat the whole thing.

I'm not feeling well, I said.

What's wrong? she asked. I was about to tell her all I had eaten, when I doubled over and screamed out in pain.

My chest hurts, Sara. I'm really scared. I also hurt between my shoulder blades. Do you think I'm dying? She yelled at her husband to call the ambulance for me.

I'm on my way over, Alice, she said.

No, it's probably just acid reflux. I've been to the ER twice with this and that was their diagnosis.

But now, I can hardly breathe. As Sara continued to talk to me, I felt my life slipping away. I no longer heard her talking. All I could hear was my last heartbeat and my last breath.

Chapter 2

Where am I? What is this place? I was standing in the middle of a huge room, with no windows or doors. The room was solid white. As I look around, I feel confused and scared.

Well shit!! I guess I'm dead. And I thought my life couldn't get any worse. I didn't have a clue if this was my heaven or my hell.

I felt as if I were being watched. Turning around in a complete circle, I look for someone to help me.

Is anyone there? Can you hear me? I was just about to run, when I heard something. It sounded like it came from my right. As I looked in that direction, a door appeared and then opened. There was someone motioning for me to follow them. When I went through the door, I felt calmer. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I knew I was safe and everything was alright.

We walked down a hallway. At the end of it, another door opened. I went through it and the door closed behind me. Once again, I was alone. But this time, I wasn't scared.

In the middle of the room is a brown recliner. It looks like the one I have in my living room. Upon closer notice, I see that it is my recliner. It had doilies on each arm and the quilt I made years ago. I sat down and leaned back, putting my feet up. Pulling the quilt over me, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Alice, wake up. My eyes popped open. Oh boy? Here we go again. I sat still for a moment trying to get my bearings.

I'm awake!! Now what? I hear faint laughter, so I look around to see who is there. Behind me is a long table with several people sitting behind it. I get up from the recliner and go towards them. There are three men and three women. Sitting in the middle of them was a distinguished older man in a three-piece suit. They were all smiling at me.

Can someone please tell me where I am and what's going on? They laughed louder this time. I just stared at them, wondering if I had been sent to the insane section of heaven or hell. Well I was starting to get ticked off. They had stopped laughing, but were still grinning at me.

Do I have broccoli in my teeth? Is there toilet paper stuck to my shoes? Please, tell me what's so dang funny? This caused them to laugh even harder. But now it wasn't just them. Surrounding me were bleachers full of people laughing at me!!

Well shit!!! I guess I was brought here as their comic relief. Growing up, I had wanted to make people laugh. Always wanting to be the class clown!! So I made the decision to go with the flow.

"Hey, did you hear the one about the teacher asking the kids, 'What does the chicken give you?' One of the students hollered out 'Eggs'! She praised him for the right answer. 'What does the pig give you?' Another student yells 'Bacon'! She gives him a