Life Lessons from My “Papa”: A Daughter’S Journey Caring for Her Elderly Father

By Elizabeth Hugo

On March 1, 2010, Elizabeth Hugos life changed dramatically when her ninety-two-year-old father, Victor Mazzullo, moved into her home. Blind, diabetic, and suffering from dementia, her papa required total care for his every need. As her daily life drastically transformed, Elizabeth soon realized she would have to rely not only on herself, but also on her faith as she learned to listen for Gods guidance.

In her inspirational memoir, Elizabeth shares poignant anecdotes and applicable Scriptures that provide insight into the challenges, joys, and frustrations that accompanied her spiritual journey caring for her father in his final years. As her role shifted from daughter to primary caregiver, Elizabeth recalls how she dealt with the subsequent emotional impact, realized her limitations, accepted help from others, and relied on prayer for strength. Buoyed through her struggles by her faith, Elizabeth learned how to walk through each day knowing she was just as needy and dependent on her Papa God for His love as her father was on her for his care.

Written in devotional form, Life Lessons from My Papa shares practical tips, seasoned advice, and compassionate wisdom for any caregiver desiring inspiration.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 20, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490892962

Elizabeth Hugo

Elizabeth Hugo has homeschooled her five children and, together with other family members, cared for her elderly father in his final years. Now a grandmother to five, Elizabeth lives with her husband, Rudy, on Long Island, New York.

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ENDORSEMENTS

I enjoyed reading Life Lessons from My Papa. It's personal, honest, practical, spiritual, and encouraging to those who are concerned about caring for our older loved ones. There were times I felt I was there in the room with you. Thank you for inviting us into your home and hearts during this precious, unforgettable season of your lives. The lessons you've learned will encourage many to look for similar blessings in their lives.

---Norm Wakefield,

founder of Elijah Ministries,

author, conference speaker

Real and graphic life challenges meet real faith. A tough assignment meets tough love. This book by Elizabeth Hugo will inspire your commitment if you are a person who wants the real deal with regard to the Cross of Jesus Christ.

---John G. Elliott,

recording artist, songwriter, producer,

arranger, and Steinway Pianist

Elizabeth Hugo's account of the trials and victories of her faith in the very present and immediate circumstances of caring for her elderly Papa brings truth, warmth, humor and illumination to a poignant, contemporary subject.

Life Lessons From My Papa is a song of thanksgiving, an artesian well of grace from which we are invited to drink. "Spring up, O well!"

Roy Esposito, pastor and spiritual director

Restoration Christian Fellowship, N.Y.

Here is a simple, but powerful book. Elizabeth tells the story of caring for an elderly father with all of the joys and trials and endearments and messes that make up the Christian life of love. Love is hard to define, but this is what love looks like. The best way to understand love is to read stories like this. This is a book for everybody. Of course, it will be an indispensable resource to any family who must care for aging parents. But, it is also a wonderful inspiration for anybody who wants to live the Christian life, the way Jesus would have us live it!

---Kevin Swanson,

Host, Generations Radio

The Hugos have been acquaintances for many years, as we see them at least once a year and sometimes twice a year. However, you really don't get to know someone until you see them interact with family and in crisis. In reading Life Lessons from My Papa I have now been able to see them---especially Elizabeth---in both situations. And they more than passed. We're able to identify somewhat with Elizabeth and family because we also took my wife's father into our home, where he lived for about two years before he died. We did not, however, deal with the intense issues that Elizabeth faced on a daily basis. What I appreciate from this book is the emphasis on dependence upon God and faith to pray for Papa that he actually lives a long time. One would be tempted to pray, Lord, if it's Your will, take Papa to be home with You. This is natural, but Elizabeth prays that God will heal Papa totally before death. The principle first taught in this book is that taking responsibility for our parents is biblical and the right one. The ability to do it is the hard part, and Elizabeth gives us one teaching after another on how to do it. Truly, I have not read a book that has as much biblical teaching and practical living in a long time. Thank you, Elizabeth, for being obedient to God and for teaching us. We who will read this book owe you a great debt of gratitude.

---J. Michael Smith, Esq.,

President of Home School

Legal Defense Association

I have known Elizabeth Hugo for more than twenty years. She has always been a woman of strong faith, with a heart and a home open to all, especially the hurting. Her faith and love are seen through the pages of Life Lessons from My Papa as she chronicles the experience of caring for her father through the last phase of his earthly journey. Elizabeth is also very open about the challenges this presented and how her Father God guided, comforted and taught her throughout. This is a very real, down-to-earth, inspiring story. A must for all who find themselves caring for aging parents, family members or friends.

---Rev. Roger J. Blackmore,

Lead Pastor, Genesis Church, Medford, NY

Elizabeth Hugo has beautifully and poignantly taken us through the often difficult journey of caring for our ailing parents. Caregiving is not glamorous and can often be tedious, mundane, and exhausting. But Elizabeth demonstrates over and over again that God reveals Himself to us as we do as Christ did and lay down our lives for others. If we persevere through the trials, we can experience the deep and abiding joy of ushering those we love to the gates of Heaven, releasing them into the very capable and loving arms of the Lord Jesus Christ. This book is a breath of fresh air in a society that encourages us to pursue self-fulfillment rather than costly service. Elizabeth tenderly reminds us that, in the midst of this service, the power of the resurrected Lord will surprise us, encourage us, strengthen us, and remind us that our labor is not in vain.

---Zan Tyler,

Director of Apologia Press

LIFE LESSONS FROM MY PAPA

A Daughter's Journey Caring for

Her Elderly Father

Elizabeth Hugo

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Copyright © 2015 Elizabeth Hugo.

Chief Editor: Darlene Catlett

Copy Editors: Nancy McSwane and Carmen Ziarkowski

Technological Support: John Kreuzburg, Philip Imperato

Cover Design: Sarah Strackhouse.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

1 [phone]

Scripture taken from the New King James Version. Copyright 1979, 1980, 1982 by Thomas Nelson, inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9295-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9297-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-9296-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015918150

WestBow Press rev. date: 11/09/2015

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Preface

Philippians 2:13

1 Matters of the Heart

1 Samuel 16:7b

2 Abba, I Belong to You

2 Corinthians 6:18

Psalm 27:10 NLT

Hebrews 13:5b

3 It's Okay to Ask for Help

Exodus 18:17-18

4 Don't Worry About Tomorrow

Matthew 6:34

5 Misconceptions---Learning to Trust

Proverbs 16:9

Proverbs 3:5-6

6 He is Our Healer

Deuteronomy 34:7

Exodus 15:26b

7 Depression

Psalm 42:5

1 Corinthians 15:26

8 Rest and Respite

Matthew 11:28

Psalm 46:10a

9 Am I Invisible?

2 Corinthians 13:12-13

10 Living in the Moment

Psalm 118:24

11 Changes

Ecclesiastes 3:1

12 Caring for Yourself

Matthew 22:37-39

Ephesians 5:29

Psalm 139:14

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

13 Solitary Confinement

Psalm 46:10a

Isaiah 30:15b

14 Be Careful When You're Driving

Ephesians 4:32

15 Christmastime

Isaiah 9:6

John 14:27

16 Re-certification

Philippians 1:6

Hebrews 13:5-6

17 No Regrets

1 John 1:9

18 It's Friday, But Sunday's Coming

Philippians 3:10-11

Psalm 42:11

19 Finishing Strong

2 Timothy 4:7

Hebrews 12:1b-2a

Zechariah 4:6b

20 Focus

Isaiah 26:3-4 NLT

Psalm 61:2

2 Corinthians 10:5

21 Dance of Intimacy

John 10:30

Numbers 21:17

22 Restrictions and Limitations

Job 38:4-5, 8-11

2 Corinthians 4:16-17

23 Threshold of Glory

2 Timothy 4:6-8

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a, 4

John 3:16

Epilogue: Other Family Members' Thoughts and Memories

Jonathan

Victoria

David

Danielle

Dawn

Rudy

Conclusion

Malachi 3:16b

Habakkuk 2:2

I dedicate this book to my husband Rudy, and as a legacy to my five wonderful children:

Dawn, Danielle, David, Victoria, and Jonathan.

I also dedicate it to my five beautiful grandchildren:

Samuel, Jael, Zachary, Daniel, Emma,

and the many more grandchildren I know are coming.

Finally, I wish to dedicate it to my children's children's children.

Although you may never meet me in person, you will know me in spirit.

I love you all.

A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children.

Proverbs 13:22a

Note to my readers:

Papa lived with us approximately two and half years and has since gone home to be with the Lord. This work was written over the course of that journey as the lessons unfolded.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

O n March 1, 2010, our lives were interrupted suddenly as we moved my papa, Victor, into our home at the age of 92. He was blind, diabetic, insulin-dependent, and requiring total care for his every need. My strong and healthy mother, Matilde, who was expected to live forever, died suddenly of pancreatic cancer in just 3 short weeks, at the age of 88. She was Papa's primary caregiver and cared for him selflessly. In fact, some of her last words to me when I asked her if she was afraid to die were, I'm not afraid to die, I'm ready . . . I just don't want to leave you with my cross to bear. She had a true mother's heart, always giving to her children and everyone who had the privilege of knowing her. Little did she realize the gift she was passing on to me.

As I reflect on her words, "I don't want to leave you with my cross to bear," I'm challenged to look at this cross. What does the cross symbolize? Death, suffering, laying down of one's life, a symbol of Christianity, redemption, are just a few words that come to mind. To bear one's cross, my mom's cross, is defined as accepting trials or troubles patiently. Patiently, hmmm . . . As a Christian, looking past the cross on the other side is resurrection . . . resurrection life. That is what this book is about: life lessons learned through the crosses we've been given.

I want to give special thanks to my family; first to my loving husband of 34 years, Rudy, for being in complete agreement with me to take my father into our home, and for loving my papa with all his heart. He spends countless nights getting up with him to use the commode, as well as change diapers, take blood counts, give insulin shots, administer medications, and so much more. Thanks to my oldest