Lessons from a Fig Tree: Memories and Meditations from a Cajun Grandmother

By Susan Dupré LaHaye

In Lessons From a Fig Tree, author Susan Dupré LaHaye compiles seven decades’ worth of collected prayers, poems, words of wisdom, and deep, personal spiritual explorations in a heartfelt expression of a long life well-lived.

Telling the story of many a Cajun grandmother––past, present, and future—this memoir shares how LaHaye’s Bonne Famille Catholique lives the dream of rural “Cajuns,” loving their French heritage through music and food cooked in big pots, with the entire family living within six miles of her home on the Mamou prairie. It chronicles how she is guided by her Catholic faith, which she holds close to her heart and shares with everyone she meets.

Through a compilation of essays that document revealing moments along her spiritual journey and her personal and professional life, LaHaye communicates hope, gratitude, and inner reflection that guides one to lasting, lifelong growth.

• Language: English
• Publisher: LifeRich Publishing
• Release date: Sep 2, 2020
• ISBN: 9781489729378

Susan Dupré LaHaye

Susan DupréLaHaye has earned a bachelor’s degree in education, a master’s in professional counseling form Louisiana State University, and a doctorate in pastoral counseling. She taught English and religion in Louisiana schools for over twenty years. After retiring in 1982, LaHaye volunteered as a school counselor and as a CCD, RCIA, and swimming teacher. She still works with teens, adults, and the elderly as a spiritual director. LaHaye and her husband have five children, seventeen grandchildren and many many great-grandchildren.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Susan Dupré LaHaye.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

LifeRich Publishing is a registered trademark of The Reader’s Digest Association, Inc.

LifeRich Publishing

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.liferichpublishing.com

1 [phone]

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2936-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2935-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4897-2937-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020910779

LifeRich Publishing rev. date: 08/18/2020

Contents

Introduction

Memoir

How Can I Keep from Singing?

Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart: Memories of a Cajun Grandmother

My Life—Everything has been a Gift! Everything is Grace

One Very Blessed Child of God

Psalm 23 (RSV): A Paraphrase for Susan

La Bonne Famille Catholique—Alive and Well in Louisiana’s Cajun Country

Yes, Lord!

Who Are You, Holy Spirit? Do I Know You?

Baking Bread

Country Bread

Potato Bread

French Bread

MawMaw Emily’s Old-Fashioned Acadian Sweet Dough Pies

Beloved Words of Wisdom

A Psalm of Life

Listening to my Soul

Normal Day

The Listener

A Little Pencil

He will carry you

Silence

Desiderata

Patient Trust

But when the time comes to enter the darkness

Prospice

Invictus

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

St. Theresa of Avila’s Prayer

From Pippa Passes

Take Joy!

Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer’s Day?

The Child’s Appeal

Teaching is a Vocation

From The Prophet

Little Boy Blue

Spring and Fall

Fall in Love

Christian Marriage

Woman Was Made

Sonnet 43

Count Your Blessings

Grow old along with me!

Crossing the Bar

Let Nothing Disturb You

How Late Have I Loved You!

Prayers I’ve Prayed

Make My Heart a Sanctuary

Prayer to St. Thérèse, The Little Flower

Prayer for Insight

The Memorare

Vocation Prayer

The Breastplate of St. Patrick

The Suscipe Prayer of Saint Ignatius

Meditations on the Life of Christ

Advent Meditation: Luke 2:1-20

Meditation on Matthew 2: 1-12

Meditation on Luke 21: 1-4

Meditation on the Woman at the Feet of Jesus

Meditation on John 18: 1-5

Meditation on Matthew 27: 26–50 (RSV)

Meditation on Jesus in the Tomb

The Communion of Saints

What in the World is the Communion of Saints?

Dulcie

Aubrey G. LaHaye: Portrait of an Extraordinary Man5

Listening to God Celebrating Emily on her Ninety-Third Birthday

L’arbe est dans les Feuilles

Our Aunt Libby

Elby

Big Brother Johnny

Saying Goodbye to Ford

Saying Goodbye to Herman

Seeing the Giver in the Gift of a Very Special Teacher

A Hidden Life Reveals the Kingdom of God

An Irishman in Acadiana in the Year of the Priesthood

The Cajun Country Doctor

A Grandmother’s Message to You

Endnotes

I dedicate this book to my big sister Dulcie

Jane Janie Dupré LaHaye.

You were a North Star who made my life so good, so rich, and

whose marriage to Glenn brought into my life his brother Wayne,

my beloved spouse. You, a servant of God, your church, and

your family, taught me so much about holiness and selflessness.

How I already miss the simple pleasures we enjoyed: coffee, the

outdoors, and laughter. Our families of double first cousins, your

six and my five, gave us such a unique and remarkable life!

Thank you, my sweet sister.

Introduction

J esus, in His parable of the barren fig tree, uses this image as foil to the fullness and sweetness of a good life—where one is aware of these blessings, illustrating that to be barren is to be cursed. In Louisiana, July is always steamy and miserably hot. I remember vividly, though only seven or eight years old, not wanting to help my Mom pick figs. Now, as I pick figs from my own tree in the quiet of the early morning, it has become a very pleasurable experience—where I contemplate many things and enjoy the peace of early morning coolness. Part of that pleasure is knowing the joy that this goodness, this blessing—the fig crop, both fresh and canned (preserved) will bring to my husband, my children, my grandchildren.

This tree is the very first mentioned in the Old Testament, and is found in the backyards of many, if not most, of Louisiana’s Cajun home sites. Louisiana, known for its great food, has produced manifold cookbooks, and all have recipes for cakes, pies, even ice cream using figs. They are still canned (preserved) by many for use in baking, breakfasts, and sandwiches all year long.

I have been so blessed in the fullness of my eighty years that I often think of this local fruit as a rich and sweet symbol of my fruitful life. Perhaps I use the term lessons as the title of this book because so much of my own life has been spent teaching. Surely life is a schoolroom, not a playground, where we never finish learning! It is in my nature, and it is in this particular corner of the nature given to me, in my own front yard, where I have learned so much.

Figleaves.jpg

Painted by my daughter, Suzette Miller.

PART I

Memoir

"Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all

circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ

Jesus for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, RSV)

How Can I Keep from Singing?

"For I know the plans I have in mind for you, says the

Lord, plans for your welfare, not for evil, to give you a

future and a hope." —(Jeremiah 29:11, RSV)

M y story, I believe, is the story of many a Cajun grandmother—past, present, and future. It could be the story of any woman of a unique culture who is fruitful—who works and loves; suffers and laughs; strives to be the best she can be by using well the gifts her God has given her. No matter their race, creed, or color, all women are connected; we bleed the same red blood, we cry out in childbirth, we weep in barrenness; we glory in goodness and abhor evil. This is the story of only one woman, obviously smiled upon by life, and yet my life—like all others—has not been without its own suffering and pain.

The details may differ, but the deep themes of joy and sorrow are similar. The lives of other Cajun women reverberate with mine, just as two harps in the same room will vibrate exactly the same tone after a single string has been plucked. Therefore, I pray that my story will grace many Cajun mothers and grandmothers to see more clearly the great blessings we share as a culture!

In my own family, both paternal and maternal families have experienced tremendous tragedies. It takes time and age to ponder these things in our hearts, and to weep in the kinship felt for one’s long dead suffering ancestors. My paternal great-grandmother experienced the blessing of healthy fraternal twin grandchildren on the day following Christmas many, many years ago. Yet the young mother delivering her first babies died in childbirth. I cannot imagine the deep pain of any woman as she prepares for the funeral of her daughter (in law) and faces the fear in her heart for those two precious tiny babies. Soon afterwards, she lost her strong and beloved husband suddenly as well. How great must have been her courage beginning a new little family after having completed the rearing of her own ten children, but this time alone. Oh, what extraordinary strength our Catholic faith gives!

In my maternal family, it was my grandmother who passed away in childbirth, delivering her beautiful identical twin boys, leaving them and her other eleven children to her two older daughters to raise. The scars of desertion from the father who went on to marry another, and then father another family, were never healed. As the commercials today query—what is a woman to do? Except to pray!

Once, at prayer, I pondered how we each have significant dates on the calendar—days when our lives were changed forever—by the birth or death of a beloved. I realized then that every single day on the calendar has been D-Day or 9/11 for some soul in some century. There is a woundedness that is common to all men and women—just as it was to our dear Lord and Savior, who was a Man born of woman, and therefore, destined at that very moment of birth, to suffer and to die.

Gratitude is the Memory of the Heart:

Memories of a Cajun Grandmother

"F

or He who is mighty has done great things for me, and holy is His name." So our Blessed Mother Mary spoke in her glorious Magnificat (Luke 1:49, RSV). And so also the story of mine and Wayne’s marriage might begin and end. In his short homily at the Mass celebrating our fiftieth anniversary with our children and grandchildren, and our one little great-grandson, in our home on August 26, 2012, Father Neil McNeil reminded all of us that those years had surely been fifty years of generosity, fifty years of faithfulness, fifty years of forgiveness—and indeed they were, and continue to be so!

Our acquaintance began in 1952 during 4-H Club Livestock Shows. Then on November 24, 1955, our siblings Janie Dupré and Glenn LaHaye married. We served as Maid of Honor and Best Man. In July of 1957, we became Godparents to their eldest son, Joel Glenn (Jody), and visited often at family celebrations. I remember buying a tiny cross for their little one and writing on the card for his baptism a recent quote from then well-known Bishop Fulton Sheen. I had heard him say on his TV show, God is the composer and conductor of the Symphony of Human Love. When two people are in love, they are simply playing God’s music back to Him.

pibetaphi.jpg

Wayne and I pictured together at an LSU Greek Life event (I was a Pi Beta Phi and Wayne was a Lambda Chi Alpha) in 1959. It was during this time that we were falling deeply, profoundly, in love.

Our friendship really began when we were both at LSU in Baton Rouge. We got to know each other, supported and prayed for one another, and saw lots of LSU football—including Billy Cannon’s famous eighty-seven-yard run on Halloween night in 1958. The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke says, Love consists in this: that two Solitudes protect and touch and greet each other. And so it was for Wayne and Susan.

Soon, Wayne was off to medical school in New Orleans, and I towards the completion of my degree in English/Speech. Our wedding in August of 1961 began our life together, Through Him, With Him, and In Him. In New Orleans he began his third year, and I taught English at Saint Joseph Academy. I remember well the Cuban Missile Crisis, and that a few young Cuban girls who spoke no English were in my classes—interesting, as I spoke no Spanish!

During our brief three years in New Orleans, we managed to bring three babies into the world—Daniel, Suzette, and Marcellus. The loss of my beloved father, Ellis, to a long and painful death from cancer—combined with my mother’s bouts with depression—was especially difficult for me during that time.

In 1964, we returned home to Mamou, built our home, and Our Lord carried me! Wayne began his medical practice at Savoy Hospital, while I began a career of teaching CCD classes for St. Ann’s Church and substitute teaching at Sacred Heart Elementary and High Schools. Time flew by, and soon, Jay and Nicholas were on the scene as well.

During these years of our marriage, our family’s lives were deeply impacted by both of us having attended Cursillos. We learned to value and fight for family time as the precious and sacred treasure that it is—especially at mealtime! I grieve and pray for young families of today, where it seems all moms must work and so many involvements seem to pull couples and their children in so many different directions, always away from home. That stress is multiplied for blended and single parent families. I once read that children of families who routinely share meals are much less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs as young teens; and are more likely to complete high school and college studies. In his 2005 book, God Has a Dream, Archbishop and Nobel Laureate Desmond Tutu states You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them. Truly, through the years, I have had lots of help and support, but tending our little group of five children, born over seven years, was not always an easy task—especially while they were small and Wayne worked long days and was in the National Guard. As the years have gone by, I’ve been deeply convinced that siblings are the best gift parents can give a child. Not easy, but such a blessing!

Our prayer life and service to Holy Mother the Church gave us strength as a couple. Our dear friend Father Joseph Brennan’s leadership helped us to stay focused and together in Christ for many years. I remember him saying, When one of you weeps, the other should taste the salt of those tears. Easy to say, Father, but not so easily accomplished. Intimacy (the comfort two people find in each other) is not quickly attained, nor easily maintained. We all need to have our spouses as primary. Yet often other important things get in the way—serious illness, a sick or dying parent, the death of a child, the loss of a job. All couples can and do struggle with these issues for months or years at a time! I remember once asking a friend I hadn’t seen in quite a while, How are y’all doing? She replied, We’re going through the Dark Ages. It was very strange to me, that I knew exactly of what she was speaking. We must seek the light of Our Lord in that darkness. We must not give up our marriage or give up on our spouse.

Another line of Father Brennan’s at weddings was, "It is your job