I Shall Not Want

By Joyce Tambwe Porter

I Shall Not Want is the authors own faith story. In this book, the author, Joyce Tambwe Porter, speaks about her own struggles and experiences of more than fifteen years while waiting for a child. Born of a scrupulous and solid christian background and like many young christians, her life is torn between a modern world and Christian beliefs. How can anyone still keep her faith when there seems no reason to believe anymore? But there is always a choice. This book will give hope to those fighting the last battle because it is not just another Christian faith testimony but a message to all who still question Gods existence in their darkest hours. It is also guidance and counselling material to support our own faith and substance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris UK
• Release date: Dec 30, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499092790

Joyce Tambwe Porter

Born in Africa, originating from the Congo (DRC), Joyce came to England at the end of the eighties to pursue her studies. Her first published work in French entitled Stephanie Antoinette. Bora Kaila is a memory book dedicated to her departed mother, presented in 2014 in collaboration with Les Dix. She is also co-founder of Pre-Destined and Destiny Women (Pre-DDW), an international charity fighting poverty. Joyce is married to Mick Porter and mother to Joshua. The couple and their son are members of Rhema Church London Ministry. They live in Kent, England.

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Copyright © 2015 by Joyce Tambwe Porter.

Cover photo was taken at Nsobe Park, Ndola, Zambia (D-L T pictures)

ISBN:      Hardcover         978-1-4990-9278-3

               Softcover        978-1-4990-9277-6

               eBook              978-1-4990-9279-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Rev. date: 02/19/2015

Xlibris

800-056-3182

www.Xlibrispublishing.co.uk

699955

CONTENTS

Dedication

Preface

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1    As His Workmanship

Chapter 2    I Believe And Therefore Speak

Chapter 3    Wait On The Lord

Chapter 4    Commit To Him

Chapter 5    Humble Yourself And Submit To Him

Chapter 6    My Help Comes From The Lord

Chapter 7    Like A Deer Pants For Water

Chapter 8    Separate Yourself

Chapter 9    According To My Faith

Chapter 10    Feed On His Faithfulness

Chapter 11    Asking In His Name

Chapter 12    Sarah – ‘Is Anything Too Hard For The Lord?’

Chapter 13    Rebekah – Mother Of Jacob Alias Israel

Chapter 14    Rachel – Joseph’s Mother

Chapter 15    Samson

Chapter 16    Hannah – Samuel’s Mother

Chapter 17    The Shunammite Woman

Chapter 18    Elizabeth – John The Baptist’s Mother

Chapter 19    Though It Tarries, Wait For It

Chapter 20    My Vow

Chapter 21    The Bottom Line

Additional Notes From The Author

DEDICATION

I made a vow to You, eight years ago, that when You will grant me a son I will commit myself to tell the world about Your goodness and Your love and mercies and also to raise my son according to Your Word and to teach him all about You. Hence, I dedicate this work to You Abba, Father of all glory, to Your glorious Son our Lord Jesus Christ, and Your Holy Spirit. I dedicate this to honour You for guiding, encouraging, and helping me through my highs and lows. May this work be a fragrant offering in Your mighty presence.

PREFACE

As I step into this writing ministry through the grace of God, I can vividly remember that day when I approached my senior pastor after Sunday service to request a prayer over my hands. I had had a strong desire to write for a long time, but that particular Sunday, I felt the urge to specially request a man of God to pray for me. That is how my faith forced me to go to the pastor to pray. I was not sure of when I will start to write, but just like many Christians, I trusted my pastor to say a prayer which I believed to be a sign of an agreement to write about God as a token of my thanks and appreciation. I just believed that prayer will set me free and will move away any current and hidden obstacles from my life to allow the Spirit of God to flow free in my spirit. In other words, I believe in me, but I needed prayer to stay focused in order to be used accurately in a field I trusted to flourish according to God’s plan and purposes laid down for my life.

In those early days, the number of the church members was just fluctuating around hundreds of people; however, we have always been very busy in ministry of help. There was nothing more beautiful in our church than the family and spirit of love that was always present. Anytime after the service, anyone can approach the senior pastor to get his undivided attention to talk to him regarding anything useful and to discuss about any matter. I remember that it was before the new millennium I talked to him and explained to him about the intent of my heart. He smiled kindly at me, and with no hesitation, grabbed both my hands and anointed them in the name of the Lord Jesus by a short but powerful prayer. His words were vibrant with authority, and though he never raised his voice much, they penetrated into the core of my spirit. I have always appreciated my pastor. We have been so blessed to have a man of God whom we can trust. But little did I know that it would take me over a decade to actually start my project. In fact, after that Sunday, I even kept all those concerning my writing aside to focus on other activities in which I was more involved with at the time.

I have always known that I was called to work in one or another kind of ministry, but for a long time, I was not sure in which field I would get to operate. The first ministry of help that I ever joined in my church was the bookshop, and at the time, nothing could have predicted that I would be involved in any kind of international outreach. I have always like reading books, so I was really in my element as a church bookshop assistant where I enjoyed serving and chatting with the church members or visitors. During those moments I would advise church members on which books to read according to their spiritual requirements, I found great joy in helping them in their choices of books, and encouraging others to get involve more in reading for their spiritual growth and I even introduced to them new christians writers and various books.

Writing had been something I always wanted to do since I was a teenager, but it had not exactly turned out the way I had envisaged things to evolve. At first, I intended just to write my story, not just a biography as it is the trend today. I remember the first time I said I would be a writer – it was after I just graduated, and I was not even a born-again Christian then. But then I realised that the events occurring in my life were unusual and very different from other girls of my age and were worth being recorded. I could not understand their particularity, the mysterious and powerful force of events, the supernatural turnaround when I would overcome dangerous situations at the end, as if I had an angel to protect me at all times; so, all these circumstances prompted me to contemplate on recording the events in any way. Thus, a growing desire emerged inside me to engrave these facts like a testimony, though at the time, the word testimony wasn’t registered in my mind as my spiritual life was not yet ignited.

Needless to say that my mind had tried to plan the starting up of this work from my own human perspective, but the more I tried, the more I banged my head against the wall as nothing was happening. There was only silence, no inspiration, and though I was struggling with the passion to write, a voice inside me kept telling me to wait. I finally understood why I had no inspiration, and for that, I feel most grateful that I did wait until now. There is so much reward when one waits on the Lord. I did like the scripture below from verse 10 of Psalm 46 and used to meditate a lot on it: Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!

But while I was waiting, I sometimes would hear at the same time different voices with controversial messages, which compelled me at one time to rush things and at other times not to, and I would hear this voice telling me, ‘You should leave it. Who are you kidding? You can’t do it. That would never be possible,’ or ‘You don’t have enough resources. Besides, you will not have the time nor the energy!’

The truth is when something extraordinary has birthed in your spirit, it got to be delivered no matter how or when as long as the focus stay aligned to God’s will. That is of course what I believe, although goals of people differ according to their calling.

The question I had in mind for a long time was ‘When will it be the right time to start a project like this, especially when you know that it was to be different from anything that you have done before?’ Anything that I have worked for or designed before was intended first for myself and then for other people, but as years passed by, I knew that this kind of work was going to be of a different dimension. As everything involving me and other people with God’s inspiration as the centrepiece has to be shared to a wider audience, it has to be managed with much integrity in order to convey a worthy message that will also bring all form of glory to God, which was to transpire across my writing. The challenge was to bring the quality of my work to a higher standard and at the same time appropriate to the purpose that I have vowed to achieve. I was torn between the excitement to deliver the exquisite target and the fear of messing things up because of my ego. That is when I decided to wait for a better time as I weighed up the human me versus the spiritual me and realised I was not up to the standard yet. Actually, it appeared that it was way too high a job for me.

Looking back, I am so glad that I had it covered at first when I requested that prayer from my pastor before I even realised the solemnity of the project. But the more I tried to push the idea aside, the more I grew restless. Eventually, I made up my mind that I could do it and in fact I would do it, but not me, instead, God through His Spirit working in me will help me do the job. Did not He help people like me to write The Gospel? Did not David write most of the Psalms? He was not a saint but definitely got inspired and delivered holy songs and epic poems. I should also, through prayers, seek for inspiration. I was driven mostly by a huge desire to glorify God, to say thank you for His goodness towards me and then of course for the compassion to help others in need of spiritual guidance.

The more I was asked to share my testimony the more I felt the urge to share it with a greater audience because I know the importance and the power that a word of encouragement can have on people who are struggling in the areas of faith. I always feel compassion when I am counselling people because I myself have been several times in that dark place.

My goal was to tell how I managed to survive so many years while waiting for answers. All these deserved a higher form of praise to my God and a duty towards my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. There were two choices: to silence my mind and carry on with my normal life or to respond to the deep calling inside me.

I chose the second option; only question that remained when, how, and in which language.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My deep appreciation, affection, and love to my husband Mick for his supporting love and to our most precious son Joshua-Patrick. You are the perfect gift from heaven. Every time you form that word ‘Mummy’ in your mouth, I feel my heart warming up, and my lips will glorify God every single time, thanking Him for the rest of my life.

To my beloved parents Patrice and Stephanie, gone too soon, thank you for introducing me to the Lord Jesus from birth and for all your sacrifices towards me and my siblings.

To Christian-Patrick and Stephanie who came so young in my life, at five years old, you were my first children. Because of you, everyone calls me today that sweet name of ‘Maman Jo’. Thank you for helping me in my years of training as a mother. It was not always easy, but you were the best behaved children, and today, I am so proud of you, fine and God-fearing lady and gentleman. You know how much I love you both.

Tender affection to all my nephews and nieces in Africa, Canada, China, Europe, and, the United States and to all my godchildren, I love you very much. The Lord God will never forsake you.

To my stepchildren: Kim, Simon, Sarah, and Emily for being so loving and thus making my job easier. Thank you for accepting me, and for all the Mother’s Day cards, flowers, gifts, and the love. As a family, you enthroned me with the title of mother years before the arrival of my Joshua. I may had not said it enough or much, but I love you all very much and never stop praying for you. Parents are not perfect, but God always hears their prayers.

To my Tambwe’s brothers and sisters called ‘Les DIX’. I could have never done it without your love and unity in God. Let me tell you here again how much I love and appreciate each one of you and your families. I would like to specifically give thanks to Reverend and Professor Dieudonne, my friend and prayer partner. I know that you spent so many years on your knees praying and fasting generally for the Dix, but especially for me until I became a mother. Your persistence, faith, and words of prophecy accompanied and sustained me throughout the years until my victory when many were given up on God’s promises. (Do you know that I have kept as a testimony your last card of encouragement sent right before Joshua’s conception) To my beloved brother Rene MS, who calls me ‘Locomotive’, how can I forget your daily calls during my pregnancy to the point of vowing to be the first person in the family to see your newborn nephew? And you did fly over to England as soon as you heard the miraculous news! You are one in a million. To my younger sister and best friend Dr Julie Meo, your humility, generosity, and love for God had inspired and encouraged me. I will never forget the way you offered to be a surrogate mother when I received the destructive clinical report. I am so blessed to have you as the sister that anyone would love to have. God got great plans for you. And to our beautiful Flower and intercessor of the family, Sister Beatrice, though you are one among my youngest siblings, you were the first one of the ‘Les DIX’ to become born again. You kept praying to see the glory of God in our family. You have always been there for me. You kept calling me ‘Ma Josh’ years before his arrival! A loyal sister who would drop at short notice everything whenever I would need some help, fly over to England to be right beside me every time, and travel together with my newborn until we dumped the pushchair. I valued your babysitting whenever I had to leave my baby behind to attend my charity works in Africa. You have blessed me so much, and