Suzanna

By Orion J. Holder

Suzanna returns home to teach school.This pleases her parents, and surprises them also, because she made the remark when she left for college that she would never return to her home town to live.

Suzanna and her friend Bill have been keeping in touch by letter, and this helped her change her mind about coming back home to stay. Also after being away from her best friend, Janet, she realized how much she had missed her. Janet has tried to convince Suzanna that she should settle down and get married. She told her that would be the only way she could find true happiness. Since Suzanna has been away Janet has had so many marriage problems, that Suzanna doesn't think Janet will be trying to talk her into marriage ever again.

Suzanna gets a job in Mr. Burns restaurant for the summer.This is when she meets Joy and Sue and they become the best of friends. It is an interesting summer for them, one they will never forget.

Suzanna's parents have kept a secret from her, and her mother finally finds the courage to tell her when she is on her death bed. After her mother passes her father hires a housekeeper, Emma Lou, and she becomes a mother figure to Suzanna.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: May 1, 2014
• ISBN: 9781496908001

Orion J. Holder

Orion is a native of Henry County, Georgia. She lives on the property where she grew up. Her dream to be a writer started at the age of ten. At that time her favorite author was Louisa Mae Alcott. Needless to say she's always been an avid reader.She has one daughter, two living grandsons, and one great grand daughter.

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© 2014 Orion J. Holder. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/15/2014

ISBN: 978-1-4969-0801-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-0802-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4969-0800-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014907868

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Synopsis

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter Thirty-Two

Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Four

Chapter Thirty-Five

Chapter Thirty-Six

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Chapter Forty

Chapter Forty-One

Chapter Forty-Two

Chapter Forty-Three

Chapter Forty-Four

Chapter Forty-Five

Chapter Forty-Six

SYNOPSIS

Suzanna is home from college and is going to start teaching school in her home town in the fall. When school starts she meets little Annie who captures her heart. Annie is a neglected foster child and Suzanna is determined to do something about it.

Suzanna’s relationship with her mother becomes much closer after her mother gets the courage to tell her the family secret. A death in the family brings Emma Lou into Suzanna’s life. Emma Lou becomes a priceless friend to her.

Bill finishes college and returns home. Suzanna and Bill begin a relationship for the second time. Suzanna realizes she will have to tell Bill her secret before they become too close. Doctor Shannon is working closely with her searching for the right medication for her. He has become a father figure to her and has earned her complete trust; therefore, she feels the time has come to confess the whole truth to him.

CHAPTER ONE

My name is Suzanna Stoggins, after two long years of college without a break I am on my way home. My good friend, Bill and I have been in touch by letter all this time. I met Bill several years back and we dated for a while. We became the best of friends. On my last visit home we promised we would keep in touch. Now he’s away in college meaning we won’t see each other for quite some time. I hope he will come home for part of the summer although it’s not likely. In his last letter he said if he had the money to cover the summer quarter he would not be home. This would allow him to get back home for good in a couple of years.

I’m so anxious to see my best friend Janet again. We have so much to catch up on after two years. I hope she and Rick have solved all their marital problems. Before I went off to school Janet was always trying to convince me I should get married to find real happiness. I don’t think I will have to worry about her talking marriage to me anymore. She has had so many ups and downs in her marriage while I have been away.

Needless to say my parents especially my mother can hardly believe I’m on my way home for good. She was afraid I would never return, and rightfully so, because I had made the remark when I left I probably would never come back home to stay. But I don’t think I implied I wouldn’t even come home for a visit. I’m driving through this little town once more but I don’t see many changes. This is the reason I would have bet anyone when I left that I would never come back here to live. Now that I am back it feels more like home than ever before. This proves the saying that distance does make the heart grow fonder.

It was awfully hard to say good-by to Ruth (my roommate in school,) but we promised each other we would stay in touch. We don’t live that far from each other. Ruth met the one she’s going to marry in college. She swore she would never live in that little North Georgia town she grew up in again. Her husband to be is from Valdosta, Georgia, but Ruth doesn’t want to live there either. She might have to make some adjustments though, because Herman’s daddy owns a big farm down there, and he is counting on Herman to take it over one day. I told Ruth she should count her blessings, because she and Herman already have their future planned.

Bill and I don’t know how long we will have to wait, and even if we will ever have a future together. Ruth let me know in no uncertain terms that she doesn’t plan to live on an old farm for the rest of her life. Of course Ruth hasn’t told Herman this. She has the notion once she is his wife she can change all their plans for their future to her liking. Poor girl I am most certain she’s in for a rude awakening.

Goodness, I can’t believe I’m home already. Here comes Mother running down the drive to meet me. I wonder how long she’s been outside watching for me. Bless her sweet heart I guess I best stop right here. I’m not sure she will get out of my way. As I step out of the car Mother grabs me in a big hug. I think she will surely break my ribs before she releases me.

Oh look at you, she cries, stepping away from me. Dear you have grown into a beautiful young woman in these last two years.

Yes, Mother, I don’t know about the beautiful, but I have become a woman that’s for sure. I hope you will keep that in mind, I laughed.

Where is daddy, at work I’ll bet?

Oh yes, your daddy hasn’t changed a bit, he’s still a workaholic among other things.

Well get into the car and let’s drive the rest of the way to the house, Mother. I don’t want to have to carry my luggage a mile. It didn’t seem you were going to get out of my way, therefore, I had to stop or hit you. That’s the reason I stopped this far away in case you are wondering.

My goodness, said Mother getting into the car, I didn’t realize how far we are from the garage. I didn’t know I could still run that fast, or that far, as a matter of fact.

As Mother shows me to my room it is evident that nothing has been moved, or changed since I have been away. I lift my bags up onto the bed and begin to open the drawers of my dresser and chest.

"May I help you unpack, honey, or do you prefer to be alone?

I can do it myself, but you are welcome to sit over there, and we can chat while I put my things away.

Mother takes a seat in the chair by the window, giving a sigh of relief that I want to talk with her. I wish I knew what she is thinking, but she never speaks her mind to me. It’s as though we are strangers and she’s afraid she might hurt my feelings. I do hope by some miracle we can become friends this summer. I feel this might be our last chance. Dear Lord, don’t let me say anything wrong, please. I look over at Mother, I can tell something is bothering her already, her brow is wrinkled, and she is pressing her hands together tightly. So tightly, in fact, her knuckles are turning white. l hope I haven’t already said something to upset her. There is a long silence before Mother speaks.

Dear, are you going to teach this coming year, or will you be taking a little rest from your last two years of studying?

Oh yes, I will be teaching the first grade here come fall. I don’t need a rest, in fact, I’m so excited and anxious to get started I can hardly wait.

That is great, I never dreamed you would come back home to teach. It is such a pleasant surprise for your daddy and me.

I can understand why you thought the way you did, Mother, after the hateful things I said about this town. When it got down to facing reality I realized how much home meant to me, especially after being away so long. I assumed I would be welcome to stay here. However, once I earn some money I will look for a place of my own if I’m intruding.

It sure is your home honey, and you could never be an intruder. You surely know you are more than welcome to stay here for the rest of your life. You don’t know how happy this makes me for you to want to live with us again.

It will be okay with daddy too, I hope.

Sure, he will be surprised, but it definitely will be all right with him.

Mother excuses herself to get the evening meal started. I finish unpacking and go over to sit in the window seat. I look out over the lawn and beautifully kept yard, the way I have done so many times before. Mother is still a puzzle to me. She seems to always be up tight and nervous. I can’t help but believe Daddy makes her this way. I realize Mother was a poor little farm girl from Alabama, and I doubt if she even has a high school diploma. I’m most sure that’s the reason she humors Daddy and let’s him always have the last word. I believe Mother feels inferior, however I’m not sure my daddy is even aware of this. I plan to insist that Mother speak up to Daddy. I must prove to her that she is as important and as intelligent as my father. All she needs is someone to boost her confidence, and I am more than happy to be that someone.

As I descend the stairs I hear my father drive up. I run to the back door to meet him. I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. Daddy stands here with his briefcase in one hand, and the newspaper in the other. He’s seems frozen in his tracks. He gives Mother a look as if to say please do something. Mother walks over and takes the paper and the briefcase forcing him to return my hug. I notice how red Daddy’s face becomes and how lose his embrace feels. Daddy’s absence of affection has always been a puzzle to me. So many times I’ve wondered if I’m his child, or if maybe mother had me before she met daddy.

Guess what Frank, Suzanna is going to teach first grade, right here at home.

Now that’s what I call good news, little girl, I’m so glad you decided to come back home.

I feel a flush cross my face. I’ve got to tell him that I’m, too, old to be called that pet name anymore. Daddy notices the blood rush to my face and says: Now what did I say that I shouldn’t have. For goodness sake, Suzanna, your face is on fire.

Daddy, you have to stop calling me your pet name, little girl, you have to be aware by now I’m a woman Why I’m twenty three years old.

My where did the years go, are you sure you are that old, child?

Yes I’m sure, and you can’t exchange little girl for child either. Why can’t we make it simple you can call me Suzanna, after all, that is the name you and Mother gave me.

That sounds like a winner, but you do realize I probably will slip up every now and again don’t you?

Okay, Daddy, but try not to slip up in public.

After I help Mother clean the kitchen, I decide to run over and visit with Janet for a while. I can hardly wait to see her again. I wonder how she looks now, and if she has changed as much as I feel I have. It seems it’s been a lot longer than two years since we’ve talked face to face.

CHAPTER TWO

As I get to the door of Janet’s apartment, I hear shouting and a baby crying in the background. This makes me feel I shouldn’t let my presence be known at this time. But as I turn to leave, the door flies open. Rick stands here next to me, anger written all over his face. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I am so stunned; I stand here, my mouth wide open, not believing my ears. Rick pushed by me almost knocking me off the stoop, and stomped down the steps. I stand and watch him go down the walk still not believing my eyes. When I look up Janet is standing in the door. She finally recognizes me, and steps out on the stoop, grabbing me in her arms as if she would never let go. As I look into her eyes I can tell she’s been crying.

When we are inside Janet went to get little Joseph. He is still screaming, and Little-bit is standing in the middle of the living room floor biting her nails. The look on the child’s little face pulls at my heartstrings. Janet finally gets Joseph quiet, and we all sit in the kitchen. Little Jane slid onto my lap as I sat down still biting her nails. She hasn’t uttered a word. I give her a warm hug, and she removes her fingers from her lips. When I see the child’s nails I know this is a real problem. Some of them are already bitten off into the quick. They look as if they might start to bleed any moment. Janet and I make eye contact, and without a word being spoken we both start to cry.

What is going on with you and Rick? I ask when we manage to stop crying.

Oh, it was another misunderstanding between us. It doesn’t happen that often, but when it does it’s always the same. Ricky leaves in a huff and sometimes it’s hours before he returns.

What about the kids, don’t you see what it’s doing to them? Couldn’t you and Rick fight in private? It’s not good for them to hear it. You must know it scares them and makes them feel insecure. Haven’t you noticed that little Jane has bitten all her nails to the quick?

Good grief, we don’t plan our fights they just happen, anyway the kids need to learn that life ain’t a bed of roses and there’s always a few thorns.

I can feel the tears starting again. It is then Janet realizes how upset I am, and she tries to softer her comments. (Janet knows how protected her best friend has always been, and it is her opinion that she will never be able to face reality, that’s the way Suzanna is and always will be, she thinks.)

Let’s talk about what you have been doing Suzanna, and what you have planned for your future now you have all that learning behind you.

I had been busy writing to Bill the last two years, and I didn’t keep in contact with Janet the way I should have. Janet had been so involved with two kids and the home, and the problems of marriage that she didn’t write to me that often either. It’s plain enough for anyone to see, that Janet and I have changed a whole lot in the last two years.

I’ve got a teaching assignment right here in town. I’ll be teaching first grade.

That’s wonderful Jane will be in first grade this coming fall. I never dreamed my best friend would someday be my kid’s teacher. I’ve been kinda worried about it. Little Jane is quite shy, and I’ve been afraid that her teacher wouldn’t understand her. Now my worries are over for Jane anyway. Oh by the way, Ricky says Bill went off to college last year and no one at work has heard from him since he left.

Yes Bill did get off to college and he’s not coming home until he finishes his studies. Who knows what might happen in the next two years. The future is always a mystery, and that’s what makes life interesting don’t you think?

"Do y’all have any plans for a future together, Suzanna?’

Yes, we hope to get together again as friends if nothing else.

What are you saying that you will marry Bill someday, or be his friend forever? How does he feel about this or have you even discussed a future with him?

No I haven’t used those exact words, but we’ll see when the time comes. Enough about me, now tell me what is happening with you and Rick.

I truly don’t know. In the beginning of our marriage I would pick a fight just to make up, but now we don’t always make up. Not right away anyhow sometimes we don’t speak for days. I’m not sure Ricky loves me anymore.

Do you still love him?

Yes I do when we are not fighting. But then when something like today comes up I’m not sure I love him as much as I did in the beginning. Fact is if I had somewhere to go I would leave him for a while. Maybe then I could be sure he still loves me.

He’s not mean to you is he?

What do you mean you heard his shouting as he left, yes he’s mean to me when we fight.

I’m asking if he beats you or the kids when he’s angry?

Oh, no, he would never hit me or the kids, as you well know he’s the one that spoils the kids. He don’t even whip them when they need it. I always have to be the bad guy.

Has he started drinking, too, much again or what causes these fights?

He still drinks a beer now and then, but be doesn’t overindulge anymore. The fights are as much my fault as his. I can’t put my finger on the reason other than it’s usually over money. There is never enough money. We pay this bill this month, and that bill next month if we are lucky. We have his paycheck spent before he gets it most of the time. This makes Ricky feel terrible, because he can’t earn enough money to take care of his family the way he would like to.

Have you thought about getting a part time job for a while to help out until you all can get back on your feet?

Yes, but when I suggested it to Ricky he all but went through the roof. He said it’s a darn sorry man that can’t provide for his family. He said he would get a second job before he let his wife go to work and leave his kids with some stranger.

There are a good many wives working now. Nearly all the families who want a home of their own realize that both will have to work to afford it.

I know you are right, but I can’t go against Ricky on this, if I do he might leave us, and we might never see him again.

Could Rick find a better job you think in Atlanta. You know in a small town like these employers can’t afford to pay people as much as a big company in Atlanta would?

I’ve thought about that too, but our old car wouldn’t get him back and forth that far away. I plan to talk to him again, about me working for a little while, once we get over this fight we’ve had tonight.

Well it’s getting late I need to head on home, I’m sorry I came at such a bad time promise me you will call me if you need me."

Sure don’t you go worrying about this now. We’ll be okay. You don’t know how glad I am that you are home to stay. I’ve missed you more than you can possibly know.

I am glad to be back and I missed you, too. Bye now I’ll see you later.

I can’t get my mind off Janet’s troubles no matter how hard I try. I wonder what is going on with her and Rick. I’m not sure she told me the whole truth. I do hope it’s something they can work out. The children deserve two parents. Why did they have kids if they didn’t plan to live together to raise them? It’s things like this that make me think twice about even considering marriage.

This morning when I came down to the kitchen I found a note on the counter. I saw my name on it so I picked it up. It read, Suzanna I have some errands to run so you will have to fix your own breakfast. Love Mother

The clock over the refrigerator shows the hour is nine o’clock. Where would Mother be at this hour of the day? I push the thought back and made me a pot of coffee and a piece of toast? After I finish my meal, I go back to my room to finish organizing things. The next time I look at the clock I am surprised to see it is already one o’clock and Mother still isn’t home. I go down to make a sandwich thinking how things surely have changed since I’ve been away. Where can Mother be and what kind of errands would take so long?

Just as I finished my sandwich I hear Mother drive into the garage. When she came in she seemed flushed, and when she saw me sitting in the kitchen a look of guilt or shame covered her face. She didn’t have any bags, or packages, so what kind of errands did she run?

Goodness, you must have had lots of things to do today,

How long have you been up, dear? she asked as if I hadn’t spoken, I thought you would be sleeping in after your long trip home yesterday.

Oh I was up by nine, but I was about to get concerned about you being away so long. You must have had to run all over town?"

Still ignoring my statement, not making eye contact, her reply was that she was tired, and thought she would go up to her room to take a short nap before time to fix supper. This definitely puzzles me. Mother isn’t acting normal at all, what on earth can be the matter. She’s never been known to take naps in the afternoon. I decide I might as well go over and visit with Janet while she has her nap. I left her a note telling her where I would be in case she needed me.

Mary was relieved that Suzanna wasn’t there when she came down from her nap. She was afraid Suzanna would ask where she had been all morning again, and she wasn’t sure how many more times she could get by without answering. She hoped Suzanna wouldn’t mention her being away at the supper table.

CHAPTER THREE

Janet, you know yourself I’ve never understood my mother, but she is more mysterious now than ever. She acts as if she has a big secret that she doesn’t want me to know about. What do you suppose is going on with her?

Gracious don’t ask me. It seems like the older I get the harder it is to understand anything around me. I think to myself one day that I will find a way to fix my marriage, and then the very next day I feel it’s hopeless to even try. It seems the weight of the whole world is right here on my shoulders.

I’m so sorry; I shouldn’t be bothering you with my little problems. I should be trying to help you solve your big ones. Please forgive me. I guess I should be going now, maybe while I’m helping Mother fix supper she will volunteer some little crumb of information.

I owe you an apology too, you’ve been listening to me feel sorry for myself every time you visit. Why don’t we go out for lunch tomorrow and do some window shopping or something.

That’s a great idea where would you like to have lunch?

Don’t you know there is only one place to have lunch and that’s the burger shack, laughed Janet.

Sure thing, I answered, as I headed for the door, see you tomorrow.

I can’t help but notice how nervous Mother seems as we eat supper. Daddy doesn’t seem to be conscious that either of us are at the table with him. I wonder if they eat silently every evening, or maybe there’s something bad wrong between them. Maybe they are having trouble in their marriage. Oh dear, I hope Mother isn’t seeing another man. Goodness what is wrong with me, I know better than that.

Daddy how was your day at work? I ask trying to break the silence.

Same as always, he grunted, nobody wants to work anymore so it’s left up to me to do it all.

I see right away this isn’t going to work trying to talk to my father, so I turn to my mother. One look at the expression on her face and I know she doesn’t want to talk about today and where she went. I’ll talk about little stuff, I think to myself.

Mother did you have a refreshing nap this afternoon?

Daddy looked up from his food and asked, Why did you take a nap Mary? Are you sick?

No, dear, no, I’m not sick I had a little headache.

Is that why we don’t have a dessert tonight? he asked, with a frown on his brow.

Well yes, I guess so, she answered, looking at me, as if to say, see what you’ve started.

I immediately jump up from my seat and say, How about some ice cream, Daddy, it should be good on this hot day don’t you think?

Daddy smiles at me, and says: that’s a good idea, yes I believe I would like some ice cream, thank you.

I hear a sigh of relief from my mother, as I start for the kitchen to get our ice cream.

I’m lying here wide-awake tonight. I simply can’t go to sleep my mind is spinning so. There seems to be something horribly wrong between my parents. I don’t know how I’m going to find out what is wrong, but I’m not planning to give up until I do.

Janet and Rick are doing better with the help of a counselor; therefore, I can stop worrying about them so much. It’s my parents I still can’t understand. I can never get Mother to talk with me, except about shopping and cooking. Daddy is like an