Hey, Young Love: A Cautionary Love Story

By Epiphany

After witnessing the divorce of her parents, strong-willed, 18-year-old Giselle searches for the “true meaning of love” within her relationships. While attending Brick City University, she realizes that she has felt less confident in her romantic relationships. At first, the lack of loyalty amongst the men in her life turns her heart cold as ice. But when Giselle experiences her first heart break, she realizes love is not a game. As she begins to search for her comeback love story, she reacts out of guilt, lust, desperation, and immaturity. Her family tries to give her “experienced” advice, but she chooses to ignore them all. Giselle is determined to not subject herself to the same heartache they’ve been through. Therefore, she decides to find a man on her own terms and timing. Giselle believes she can make smarter choices, but will this eager young lady take her own advice? Will she run into the man she was hoping to avoid, or will she succeed at finding love? Will she let her baggage go or carry it with her? On her journey, she may have to shed a tear or more to find a man who will treat her like a Queen.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 2, 2021
• ISBN: 9781665517485

Epiphany

Epiphany is happily married with two children. She received her Bachelors in Sociology and is aiming to receive her Masters. Currently, she helps to provide resources to families in her community. Her passion is to work with single-family households, especially those with teenage girls. Epiphany wants to empower, support, and counsel young adults. Her motto is, "It Takes A Village to Raise a Young Woman."

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2021 Epiphany. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 03/02/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-1749-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-1747-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-1748-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021903325

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter 1 THE FOUNDATION FOR LOVE

Chapter 2 HEART-BREAK HOTEL

Chapter 3 PEER PRESSURE

Chapter 4 NO NEW FRIENDS?

Chapter 5 I NEED MY MOMMA.

Chapter 6 REVERSING THE CYCLE

Chapter 7 FAMILY OVER EVERYTHING

Chapter 8 IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER.

Chapter 9 MINDING MY BUSINESS

Chapter 10 WHAT I NEED

Chapter 11 NAÏVE

Chapter 12 CONFUSED

Chapter 13 THE TALK

Chapter 14 SURPRISE, SURPRISE.

Chapter 15 TIME IS UP!

Chapter 16 SKELETONS

Chapter 17 GIRL CODE

Chapter 18 MANIPULATION

Chapter 19 TRUE COLORS

Chapter 20 SISTERHOOD WHAT ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?

Chapter 21 RED FLAGS

Chapter 22 SHAME AND EMBARRASSMENT

Chapter 23 SETTING BOUNDARIES VS LETTING GO

Chapter 24 CLOSURE

Chapter 25 A NEW BEGINNING

Chapter 26 MY VERSION OF LOVE

A message for young women with big hearts:

Discussion Questions

To: My Readers

I wanted to create stories that young women could learn from. The stories would motivate young women to think, understand their worth, and tap into their potential. My stories would be with no intentions on telling them how to go about different things in their life but leave them with some things to think about and question. I believe it is our job to prepare the younger generation and their job to do what is best for them.

I dedicate this book to the little girls in my life, my nieces: Melodi, Harmoni, and Symphoni. I love you with all my heart and soul. If you need anything, do not hesitate to ask your auntie. Auntie will always be there to listen and understand.

Also, I want to dedicate this book to the little boys in my life. To my sons, Nasir and Laquan: You are my world and thanks for being mommy’s little protectors. I know I am raising two gentlemen, who will respect women. Nasir and Laquan, God has truly blessed me with your handsome faces. To my nephew Zhuri: Auntie love you. You can always call me. You make me giggle with your funny self. I enjoy the laughter.

Their little faces have inspired me to love on a whole new level.

Sincerely,

Epiphany

Ps. This one is for the young lovers, who are trying

to figure out how to love and be loved.

Tenesha L. Curtis, Copyeditor

Chapter 1

THE FOUNDATION FOR LOVE

Dear Diary,

It feels so good to finally be out from under my mother’s wing. She is the mom that every poor child would love to have in their lives. She is extremely ambitious, and she makes sure I do not need anything. However, I cannot help but feel like I am a burden on her. She drinks so much to cope with my dad and her divorce. Whenever we have disagreements, she gets angry with me and lashes out. I’d hear her on phone calls with my family saying, Giselle is working my last nerve or Giselle always have something to say instead of just being quiet. She always acts as if I am frustrating her and it makes me feel unheard.

I think my face reminds her of my dad. I am a split image of him with my smooth, caramel complexion skin, and his light brown eyes. Standing at 5’8, I had gotten my height from my dad and every time I stood over my mom’s short 4’11 frame, I must have reminded her of him. Sometimes, I wish my dad were back in our home so he could numb the pain. Even though they argued, they’d make up on the nights where he’d come home early. He’d bring home her favorite take out to help her relax from a long day of work and then he’d throw on some old R&B music. I’d hear my mom moaning over the music. That was a sound I tried to drown out with my phone.

Growing up, my dad would always be away at work. At night, I’d hear them fight about my sister and me. They’d argue about who was going to babysit us when Tatiana came over and she wanted to go out. None of my mom’s family wanted anything to do with Tatiana. I think that influenced my sister and I relationship. At times, I didn’t want to deal with her. Then, there was my dad’s side. They lived in Boston. Also, there was a huge dilemma between them: their past. My mom would remind him about how he hurt her when they were younger. She would play nice because although my dad had an affair, she didn’t think it was fair for a child to grow up without their father.

Although, my dad had claimed he changed, my parents would still argue about Tatiana’s mom and his relationship. It was hard for her not to be suspicious when he went over their house. My mom would start off with a valid point about his lack of communication but then she’d make up scenarios of why it took him an extra 30 mins to get home. He hated when she became paranoid and thought too much. Obviously, the pain from his affair was still affecting their marriage. One situation stood out to me. I remember it like it was yesterday.

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My mother had got dressed and ready on Valentine’s Day. She was so excited. She had on this red, off-the-shoulder dress that fell right at her knees. Her black, knee-high boots went well with her dress. The 6 inches on her heel made her seem taller. She looked in the mirror and felt extremely confident. As she looked back at me, I couldn’t help but admire my mom as well. Her hair was dyed dark red, and it was curly. It hung down past her shoulders. She was a natural beauty, and her face had a glow to it. As she looked back at me with her shoulders exposed, I could see her little beauty marks. She asked me how she looked, and I said, like a Queen.

I was happy that she had called my aunt to baby-sit me while she got wined and dined. She deserved it. While waiting, she watched the clock wondering if my dad had run into some complications at work. He had worked the morning shift, that day, but he wasn’t home at his expected hour. My mom’s mood quickly changed.

My mom started pacing back and forth when she said, the audacity of this punk to not have his phone on. It’s Valentine’s day and he want me to play second bitch to his baby mother.

Auntie Sharon was there to try to calm her down. She was my favorite auntie. When she came around, she would always help me get ice cream. The ice cream truck would drive down Broadway Ave and all the kids would come running. Everyone swore they were broke, but Auntie Sharon always slid me a couple dollars to pick out whatever ice cream I wanted.

What makes you think he is at his baby mother’s house? Auntie Sharon said to my mom.

Because… I mean… think Sharon! She always posting these subliminal posts as if someone’s man is always down her ugly ass back. I mean who she talking to… her imaginary friend. All signs point to me. For goodness shake, GiGi and Tatiana are only 2 months apart. If he’d be creeping with anybody, it’d be that hoe! I bet he tried to show up there before taking me out so he could make the bitch feel included. my mom emphasized. Her assumptions were just assumptions. Although, her assumptions always led to misery for herself, she did have every reason to think that he’d see her too. Sometimes, my dad would still buy Tatiana’s mom gifts on certain occasions. His excuse was he respected her as his child’s mother.

I don’t even think my mom noticed that the walls were so thin and all it took was for me to press my ears up against the wall to hear it all. I hated that my dad had messed with my sister’s mom and my mom at the same time. Since then, they’d always go back and forth, arguing about the same things. It was a never-ending cycle. They’d split up and get back together. Sometimes I wondered why they’d get back together if they hated each other so much. I wondered was this love. Could a man seem so awful to me but then I’d forgive him because he’d make empty promises and buy me things. Is this normal behavior?

After waiting two hours for my dad to show up, I heard my mom go Sharon watch GiGi, I’ll be back. That motherfucker must thing I am dumb! My mom had a mouth like a sailor. Next, all I heard was the front door slam.

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I don’t know what happened that day. I just remember daddy coming home and packing his bag. I remember mommy crying uncontrollably and repeating this is such a nightmare. I was furious and confused when my dad hurt my mom. I loved my dad so much, but I didn’t understand why he was hurting my mom. She cried herself to sleep that night. As I put my ear to the wall, I could hear her pray to God wondering why my dad couldn’t keep his vows.

A few weeks later, my big cousin Quivon moved in. We all called him Q. Don’t worry cuz, I got your back. Thanks for taking me in and for that I am forever loyal to you for giving me a place to stay. I promise to do my share and to help with GiGi. He said to her that day. I think she moved my cousin in to get the extra income she was missing out on when my dad left or maybe my cousin was a distraction for her. That’s it! He was a project.

Sometimes, I wondered what my mom was thinking moving cousin Q into the house. He was something else and every day he had someone else running through our home. Today, a big curvy chick, and then next week, it’ll be a skinny chick. I was hoping one day he’d bring home someone I could remember.

On plenty of occasions, he would bring home a girl twice and he’d expect us to be more polite. The crazy thing is they all adored him. They all fell for his lies, his manipulation, and I guess whatever he had going on in the privacy of their bedrooms, hotel rooms, cars, etc. Who knows at this point! He knew exactly what he was doing and how he would move. Why would you create a pattern for your other hoes to predict, I’d hear him say to my other male cousins. That way you never get caught. I thought that was messed up since he claimed he loved so many of them.

I never really thought about what constituted love. I guess it’s whatever you felt was right at that moment and from the looks of it, everyone lived in the moment. They had no care of the future, the consequences, nor whether they’d have to settle down and raise a family. The only person who seemed to remain loyal was my mom and look where that got her. She was in a lot of heart break and pain. Her loyalty had cost her the loss of her dreams, her innocence, and her freedom. I was determined to never feel that way. I was determined to feel numb to whatever it is that love brought to the table. Love isn’t the happily ever after. It was a never-ending cycle of the princess kissing the frog and no prince.

My cousin Quivon was the biggest frog of them all. I remembered one time when he brought a woman by the house. It was a moment I’d never forget because my mom hit me. She never hit me before my dad moved out.

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So, what’s this one called? I said as I walked around the kitchen island.

Excuse, me. cousin Q said as his eyebrows raised.

Sorry, I can’t keep track. I said, sarcastically as I twirled my spoon in a pint of Butter Pecan ice-cream that I had left on the table. I smiled but Quivon didn’t.

He didn’t find it funny that I had made such a mature remark. I was old enough to know that they weren’t just here to tour the house. It was as if he expected his little cousin not to take notice of anything he did. Little did he know, I seen and heard everything.

What I do is my business. I am too young to settle down. Anyway, I am grown. So, mind your business. He said. Was daddy too young? He was just five years older than my cousin. Did my parents move too quickly and rush things? I wasn’t sure.

Through the living room, my mom walked past the heifer Q had brought to the house to come join my cousin and I in the kitchen. I was pretty sure my mom would kick these women out at some point. But she was enabling this type of behavior from my cousin.

Your daughter in here trying to be grown. Cousin Q said.

Ma, I wasn’t trying to. I pleaded.

Giselle! My mom yelled. Of course, she didn’t try to hear me out. I knew she’d lean on the side of respecting my adult cousin. My mom was traditional. She believed the men were the head of the household, no matter the position in the family. I think she believed they were the head of doing whatever they wanted, too.

She’s over here making remarks as if she couldn’t keep track of the women, I bring in here, he whispered, remembering that his new chick was right in the other room, sitting on the couch like the good puppy she was.

Leave your cousin alone. I am not even concerned so why should you? Mommy said, contradicting her beliefs. Was she growing used to these behaviors? First, it was dad and now my cousin. You would think she would speak on behalf of all the women that ever felt hurt. Instead, she acted like she knew nothing.

Well, you sure seemed concerned when daddy had his multiple women. I could barely get women out my mouth before mommy had slapped me silly. I was so embarrassed and angry that she was mad at the truth. However, I should have expected this reaction.

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For a while now, I had been characterized as the sassy child because I said how I felt, when I felt it. I was honest and I think she was madder at the truth. At the time, I was only 14 years old, but I seemed to be the oldest one in the house. However, the adults killed my confidence. My responses were never acknowledged. They always made it seem like I didn’t know what I was talking about. Therefore, I decided to major in psychology. I thought maybe this would give me more insight on human behavior. Maybe it would help me understand love. I felt insecure about love. I made sense of so many things, but people always seemed to surprise me when it came to love. In return, I didn’t know how to love or be loved.

I remember that same day she slapped me. In the evening, my mom and I rode to my cheerleading practice. "Love is blind", by Eve was among the throwback songs on the radio. Love is blind as hell, I thought. I started mumbling every word. As I was singing every curse word, I can feel myself be moved by Eve’s lyrics. The song spoke about an abusive lover. As I looked at my mom in the driver seat, I was filled with anger. How dare she let Q do the same things to women that daddy did to her.

As I finished up my diary entry, I said to myself, I promise I won’t be that careless. I would leave before I ever felt taking advantage of or so, I thought.

Chapter 2

HEART-BREAK HOTEL

As I walked in the common area of Brick City University, I was thrilled to have a break from class. The room was lit and there were guys and girls checking out the new faces. There were friends hanging out and laughing together. It was a mix of different nationalities. I loved that about this college!

The commons was a popular place to meet up in the university. It was a big room with high vaulted ceilings. The ceilings had glass on them and let in the most perfect natural lighting. The school had flags hanging around the walls ranging from the American flag to Barbados, France, and Japan. The walls were painted with light blue hues but had a variety of walls with different murals of the most inspirational leaders from Martin Luther King Jr to Gandhi. My favorite quote on the moral was, Where there is love, there is life.

The diversity was growing at this school. I was glad because it reminded me of my birthplace in Newark, NJ. When I lived in Newark, I had the opportunity to be open to different walks of life. Newark is an inner city and was divided into little sections. I lived in the North Ward section. This area was filled with people who were Portuguese, Dominican, Puerto Rican, and African American.

The Hispanics felt right at home. I can recall how much fun they had as they partied. I remember the sounds of the Reggaeton beats vibrating through my hips as I walked down the street from school. If you didn’t know better, you would think I was on an island the way I moved and grooved to the beat. Sometimes I would even try to sing the lyrics. Like North Newark, Brick City University was filled with culture and made me feel right at home.

The commons was the hang out spot on campus. It was the area where we felt free to express ourselves. On many occasions, we had open mic night. In the commons, there were plenty of seating areas. They had a couch that circled around the center of the room. There was a stage area with carpet seating. Then, there were table areas for some students who liked to have background noise as they studied or ate a meal. It was hard to not like the energy in the room. It was amazing. Everyone laughed and had a good time. My crew had our favorite spot that we met at next to the murals.

Yerrrrrrrrrrrrd… my girl Samantha shouted, as if we were back on Broadway, and had spotted each other from down the street. Yerd was a familiar expression for us inner city, New Jersey natives to say to one another to capture each other’s attention. It came from a place of love and a place of fun. Hola Chica. Samantha said, Where have you been at, lady?

Girl, I’ve been getting some more stuff to spruce up my dorm room. I am loving every minute of this time decorating my room the way I want. I have the freedom to express myself and I am having fun doing it. I have the Nicki Minaj poster hanging up with a little bit of Maya Angelou. You know…. balance. I said, jokingly. I always thought you needed a bit of intellectual skills with a bit of around the way girl tendencies.

You are something else! Do you know that Giselle? But I feel you. Sam said, laughing along.

I always made sure my girls had a good time with me. I loved to laugh, but I didn’t inspire to be a comedian. People always laughed as if I was. I guess my goofiness was the thing that attracted people the most. But it was also the very same thing that made people try me. In the city, most girls kept a do not try me look on their face because they knew they had to be tough. However, for me, I always looked for any reason to laugh. It was my medicine.

SOOO… is there any parties going on this Friday? What’s the word? I was dying to get outside of my dorm room and quite frankly, away from studying, too. I was determined to pass my classes, but I loved a good party. You know…. BALANCE.

Well, there’s a spot off Elliott Street that is popular. On a few occasions, they may have 18 and up nights. I will double check. I heard the club hosted different events. It’s called Xquisite’s, Sam replied.

Ok, tell me more after class tonight. I am heading out. We hugged and said our good-byes. I was running off to my dorm room to catch a moment of silence before my roommate,