A Good Family

By Tricia Rintoul

Yesterdays beginnings starts with John born in 1809 in Alloway, Scotland who married his wife Margaret on August 30, 1831 in Lanark County, Ontario. Both families had migrated to Canada and met and married having eleven living of fourteen children. Both John and Margaret were buried in the Greenwood Centre, Middleville, Ontario.
My father, John, was the son of Allan and Bette and he had three children: Al, my eldest brother; Tricia, myself and Lew, my youngest brother.
It also started in the U.S.A. in a little town of St. Ignace of Michigan where my grandmother Hattie was born of two Yankees. Very strong stock. As a small child, I travelled often to see Great Grandpa, father of my grandmother, who married a Clay. It is said that he was related to the great General Clay, U.S.A.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 28, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503546646

Tricia Rintoul

In this candid autobiography, the author, a registered nurse, attempts to tell her story in a grateful way but emphasizing reality. She reveals how important trust is and how indifferent life can be without it. She loved her profession as a Registered Nurse and all her comrades she gained along the way and to this day as a 70-year-old lady. She saw parenting as the most important job of her life and had great results. Family was imperative to her because of her nursing. Divorce was a shock but she carried on as a volunteer caring for people in need and enjoying her great friendships and classmates. She empowered many other women by her excelled skill of empathy and enjoyed her kids and grandkids and her many friends and held on tightly to her sense of humour. She had many awards for Community Work including the Queens Majesty II and Queen of

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Copyright © 2015 by Tricia Rintoul.

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No real names were used in this book.

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Rev. date: 02/23/2015

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Contents

Dedication

A Good Family

Introduction

A Note to the Reader

The Family

Chapter 1 My Dad, the Captain

Chapter 2 My Mom—A Lady with Great Mirth

Chapter 3 Youngest Brother—Red Hair and a Personality that attracted like Bees to Honey

Chapter 4 Eldest Brother

Chapter 5 Growing Up

Chapter 6 A Purpose in Life - Nursing

Chapter 7 Building a Community Services Organization

Chapter 8 Volunteerism

Chapter 9 Striking Out on Your Own with a Partner

Chapter 10 My Kids

Chapter 11 My Grandchildren

Chapter 12 Cottage Life

Chapter 13 Legacy

Chapter 14 Friends

Chapter 15 Retirement

Chapter 16 The Unexpected Aftermath

Chapter 17 Grandparents

DEDICATION

To my parents and grandparents, who guided me in my early years with love and inspiration to enjoy a good life and later my strength in life carrying forward their values, love, and principles.

And to my kids and grandkids, that they will know my heritage and what wonderful, kind people they were, and to others that do not understand the importance of ancestry, a loving family, and real insight.

A GOOD FAMILY

INTRODUCTION

Yesterday’s beginnings started with John born in 1809 in Scotland, who married his wife on August 30, 1831, in Lanark County, Ontario. Both families had migrated to Canada and met and married having eleven living of fourteen children. Both were buried at the Greenwood Centre, Middleville, Ontario.

My father, the Captain, was the son of Ab and Aggie and he had three children: my eldest brother, Ab, Tricia, and Harry, my youngest brother.

It also started in the USA in a little town in Michigan where my maternal grandmother, Hattie was born of two Yankees. Very strong stock. As a small child, I travelled often to see Great Grandpa, father of my grandmother.

A NOTE TO THE READER

Last year, I wrote a novel entitled The Naïve Woman and Mother which told and showed the story of part of my journey from courtship, marriage, having children that had a questionable ending. Even coming from an optimal family, marrying dysfunction can cause conflict.

The book provided the opportunity to help me in a cathartic way and also to help others experiencing similar lives. One in four women are abused in their lifetime and there are 4.8 million women in traumatic partnerships and many related physical assaults and rapes reported each year, states a reputable research and development agency. That makes domestic violence the leading cause of injury to women. The statistics state that on average, more than three American women are killed by their partners every day and one third of all women murdered in the United States lose their lives to domestic abuse, according to statistics.

Society and good parenting influences change men to become good focused folks and encourage good families and wonderful husbands and children. We must save children from the effects that divorce, violence, and abuse have on them. We should be better parents. I write this book because my parents provided a great family to be born into.

I am reminded at this time of my volunteer work at a women’s center. I was humbled to be a director on their board of directors and to see so many committed volunteers. The agency adopted and promoted a feminine analysis of violence against women and the dedication was above and beyond.

We were involved actively in policy. I remember the executive director asked me to represent the center at a fundraising event as spokesman to a large male motorcycle group. It was tremendous and shocking as hundreds of these bikes drove up in a huge farm land with toys for kids and donations for the center. Repeatedly, it is said that violence against women and children reflects the power imbalance between men and women but not that day, or other days at the annual event or these men. As a director on another charitable organization’s board, we were aware of abuse both with kids and the elderly not to forget the women prostitution that was related to their family of origin—anger, bullying, etc.

Thus, this book was built over many cups of coffee comparing dysfunctional families to good values and giving back to society to find out how good male and a small amount of women leaders are from good role models and families.

This book could never have come into existence without great friends, extraordinary men and my brothers with their immense support. I will forever be grateful to all and remind everyone that the women who do get out of these nasty lifestyles do so with the support of family and friends. It is interesting to understand the numbers of angry and violent people. The theory is we go back to the raising of children and how important good parenting is to form good values and principles and instill empathy to make us a kinder, gentler society. Happiness, fun, laughter, love, and all the good things result from a great family with excellent role models, insight, and exemplary parental guidance.

THE FAMILY

Optimal family development is thought to take place when family members are relatively differentiated, when anxiety is low and when the parents are in good emotional contact with their own parents of good origin.

This definition of optimal family leads me to believe that two people meet, fall in love, and get married and that their family origin has great importance in their lives thus building a good solid family system. Open empathetic communication becomes important bringing two sets of family values together to live in harmony. Suppression could predicate drastic problems to their union with openness leading to insight and therapy. Marriage is a large commitment and relationships and should not only be assessed by the pitter-patter of our heart but by facts of the family one marries into.

CHAPTER 1

My Dad, the Captain

My Dad, the Captain, was one of five children born to Ab and Aggie in a family that had hardships but also high principles and love. Ab had a job in the mines in Desbarats. At the young age of thirty-three, my grandfather, was killed in a mine accident leaving his wife and children without a roof over their heads and hunting for food. My father was five years old with barely an entrance into primary school when he was pulled out to work in the bush logging. He always felt comfortable out in nature with the native community and his mother had found a job at the Native Reserve post office with the help of her brother. Her brother became a surrogate father to my dad and introduced and taught him about logging. It was a life of simplicity and survival, getting around with horses and sleighs. But lots of caring and love.

I still remember the days when I was a tiny girl revisiting the Reserve with my father when he visited the chief to recruit men for work, as he recognized their need. He never forgot the natives. The chief told me a story about my dad—he had a deer as his pet that followed him everywhere he went. They were inseparable.

As my father worked in the bush with the loggers, pulling their logs to the river where a tugboat would be waiting to express the logs further on to become lumber, he would study the process and the tugboat became a curiosity, if not a dream to him. Really, my dad was just a little boy with a creative imagination and had an uncle who encouraged and loved him so, and he in return.

The Reserve became a place of peace for me many years after when I was experiencing the stress of life. I would drive down and enjoy the peace and solitude of the grounds, and bring my mind into a positive tranquil place and back to a place of comfort at my family home.

The native reservation was home for the family until my father turned twelve years old and they moved north to a location on the Great Lakes. My father would become a journeyman on the boats as provider of the family while simultaneously travelling 500 miles to study at the Marine School, being a self-educated person in reading, writing, and arithmetic. He would tell me stories of coaling the fire to keep the tug going. A very hot job.

Reading was exemplified in our family because of his experience and the public library became a weekly journey with Mom. She loved to read, especially love stories. The library was at least a two mile walk but with enjoyable company, my mom and my brother. My brother, Harry, accompanied us and in winter, hit every billboard along the way with snowballs. We all learned to be avid readers.

My father, after working very hard, received his certification of Captain and Master Mariner of the Great Lakes System, thus commandeering the big freighters carrying steel to the steel plants. It was a beautiful sight to be seen as the ships passed our house as they travelled through the four great locks. The Great Lakes were rich in natural resources and of fish: Atlantic salmon, whitefish, trout, herring, and sturgeon and spectacular to see with the large steamers going and coming. I sat on the front porch of my second family home and just watched the large boats and freighters sail past. It was incredible.

The Captain had indeed come a long way from a little boy who suddenly lost his father to a man given the responsibility of family provider.

As my father grew older and had the responsibility of a wife and three children he took a position of CEO of a transit company that transported people and automobiles