The Beginning Will Not Determine the Ending

By B.A. PINKNEY

Gods limited free will allows us, as human beings, to make many decisions and choices during our lifetime while here on earth. Once you reach your age of accountability, you begin to choose your friends, clothes to wear, food to eat, and places to visit. Later on, we can choose careers to pursue, schools to attend, lifetime mates, and where we want to live.

Unfortunately for us, we cannot determine where we begin. We cannot choose where and to whom we are born. For if Ronnie McCain could have, Im sure she would not have chosen to be born to an unwed sixteen-year-old in a small county town, not knowing who her biological father was.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Mar 28, 2018
• ISBN: 9781984509116

B.A. PINKNEY

B.A. Pinkney is a retired federal employee and reside in Baltimore, Md. She has always had a passion for reading and writing. She won her first writing contest while an employee of the Veterans Administration, Baltimore, Md. The essay was entitled “What it means to be a Black Woman living in America.” In 2011 her short story was one of four chosen out of over a thousand entries to be published in a local magazine called “The Urbanite.” This is her first fiction novel and has written a children’s book called “NAYA AND THE MAGIC WHITE HAT.”

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Copyright © 2018 by B.A. Pinkney.

ISBN:                  Softcover                      978-1-9845-0910-9

                            eBook                            978-1-9845-0911-6

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, locales is entirely coincidental.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/20/2018

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Contents

Chapter 1     The Beginning

Chapter 2     Curiousity Killed The Cat

Chapter 3     Conscience You Tried To Warn Me

Chapter 4     Wild In The City

Chapter 5     The Surprise Visitor

Chapter 6     Life With Mother

Chapter 7     If You Can’t Beat Them, Then Join Them

Chapter 8     Moving In With Mother

Chapter 9     Only The Good Girls Get Caught

Chapter 10   Second Biggest Mistake

Chapter 11   Here Comes The Changes!

Chapter 12   Voice Of Wisdom

Chapter 13   Read The Signs

Chapter 14   A New Beginning Called Salvation

DEDICATION

It is with honor and gratitude that I dedicate this book to that breed of grandmothers that are becoming extinct. Those grandmothers that despite not having any formal education in most cases, used their wisdom and resources to take care of their families. Those grandmothers that not only raised and nurtured their first generation of kids, but in more cases than not their second and sometimes even third generation of kids. Especially to my grandmother who I fondly referred to as ‘Y’ from the time I could talk. Thanks for keeping your loving and caring hands on me during my formative years of growing up. I am grateful to God to having allowed me to keep my loving hands on you during your last days here on earth. Say hi! To Granddaddy and tell him his work was not in vain.

Acknowledgments

First and always I would like to acknowledge my Savior for saving me and allowing me to complete not one book but four. I still have more stories just waiting to come out. I have learned a lot over the past four years and the process continues to be exciting, fulfilling and done with humble gratitude for this gift.

I would like to thank all the professional, courteous and patient production staff of Xlibris Publishing Company. I felt like they were right there with me from the beginning to the day I held my completed book in my hands. Toni Sales, Publishing Consultant, Kevin Laguno submission, Lani Martin Author Services and Lori Banks marketing. Thanks! Thanks!

Always I give thanks to my overcomer son Glen, who have overcame many obstacles, my ingenious daughter Tasha, who will find a way to make things happen, my available son-in-law Reggie, grandson D.J., whom I’m especially proud of and now have a book dedicated to him, my lovely granddaughter Naya, who has the whole world to explore, don’t limit yourself to the ordinary, to my great niece Anita, keep up the good work raising your kids, it can be hard but the journey will be worth it, my grandson from another daughter, Tavon who is now a father, you know where your strength comes from and especially to my baby boy Derrick, you should look down from heaven and see ‘Bush Go’!

I would like to acknowledge my reliable and supportive siblings, Diane who keeps me informed of enriching and empowering events, who now has married her other half named Charles and together they are a power couple, Loretta the accountant, thanks for keeping my tax records straight, Isaiah Blake Jr., for just being reliable and available to us all, Michael for his thoughtful and uplifting phone calls to me. To the one friend God placed in my life as sister, Godmother and Great Godmother to my kids and their kids. Lil Barb. Especially in memory of my brother Gerald whom we fondly called ‘Jerry’, who thought himself to be the protector of us all.

I would be unforgiving of myself if I did not acknowledge my church family. Love you all for your continued support and encouragement.

Last but not least to my new family of authors that I have had the privilege of meeting over the last two years plus. Thank you for sharing your knowledge, highs and lows in this new world of writing and publishing books.

CHAPTER 1

THE BEGINNING

I   COULD HAVE been any one of a million black women living in America. I could have been any momma’s baby or daddy’s maybe. Like so many before me, statistics say I should have been just another baby’s momma to just another baby’s daddy.

I happened to be named Ronnie McCain. I was raised in a rural area of Missouri by a firm but loving grandmother named Lula Mae McCain. She taught me what a strong, hardworking and industrious woman could do to survive regardless of her circumstances.

She sold dinners from her well kept and clean house. She sold fish dinners on Fridays and chicken dinners on Saturdays. Monday through Wednesday was housework, Thursday she pressed and curled hair and Saturday evenings for her select friends also. On Sundays besides going to church she rested and expected everyone around her to be resting too. None of our neighbors so much as knocked on her door on Sundays. Except for that one time when my mother came unexpectedly and left just as unexpectedly as she came. The only thing that I remember about that visit was Mama Lula throwing her suitcase on the sidewalk behind her. I was left for her to raise by my mother who had me at the age of sixteen. I was told she left our small town six weeks after giving birth to me, due to the shame of not knowing who my father was. I was well aware of who she was but I had no feelings or connections that a mother and daughter would have between them. Mama Lula never talked about her. I could only imagine how much not having her only child to be a part of her life must have hurt her.

Some folks say Mr. Hubert Jones who owned the only Barber Shop for blacks was my father. Others say Lester Ray who hustled everything from moonshine to fruits and vegetables could have been my father. I always concluded that my mother Sissy McCain must have had a weakness for older men. I sure hoped it was the first one and not the ladder one. Both were fair skinned like me. Mr. Hubert was sensible, easy going and business minded. He was also a widower. He had the kindest eyes and the most contagious laughter. His whole body would be shaking. I would always try to sneak looks at him whenever he came to pick up dinners for his clientele. He would always get me to help and deliver the dinners with him. I didn’t mind because he paid me generously and it allowed me more time to size him up. Mr. Lester Ray on the other hand drank too much, gambled and chased women. I felt no connection to him whatsoever.

Ronnie your grandfather was a wise and good man. He was a good example of how a man should head his household. I know I was named after Grandpa Ron. He helped me to straighten out my life and be proud of who I am. I talked to him more than I did to my own father. It wasn’t easy being a minister’s son. He encouraged me to go to Trade School for barbering. That turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made.

I knew my grandpa was a good provider and that he loved my grandmother very much. They grew up together as man and wife. I was merely repeating the stories that I had heard from Mama Lula. I could not remember him because I was only three years old when he died of a heart attack. That’s why I’m so interested in what you’re doing with your life. I feel as though I owe that to Mr. Ron. Was that your way of saying you are my father, I thought with a small ray of hope.

I was much older mentally than other fourteen year old girls my age. Since as far back as I could remember I hung around my grandmother’s friends while they were getting their hair done. By age nine I was helping her prepare dinners and