Beguiling Guys: The Fishing Girls Saga

By Evan Scarlett

Well they tried to drug him to keep him quiet for a while and then they had the bright idea of giving him testosterone injections under the guise that they were using him as a guinnea pig in some sort of research trial.

Well you stupid friggin doctors you are somewhat responsible for this particular pile of words splattered onto a page of a pretend book.

Didnt you specialists know that you could have done the same thing to a monkey given them a laptop and got nearly the same result.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jul 14, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499006407

Evan Scarlett

The author is a knockabout bloke. Some might say that he gets knocked about a bit. Some may say that he knocks about a bit. He was born in Melbourne, Australia, and currently lives there until his health improves and he can return to Kangaroo Island and, of course, Vietnam, where he belongs. He was told by his English teacher the day before his year-twelve exam that he had absolutely no chance in hell of passing the test as he was almost illiterate. He is a painter, musician, and chef as well as a lousy writer.

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by Evan Scarlett.

ISBN:          Softcover          978-1-4990-0642-1

                    eBook                 978-1-4990-0640-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 08/13/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-800-455-039

www.Xlibris.com.au

633251

Contents

Introduction

Catfish

The Dog & The Taj

The Very Fat Mouse

Where Is The Christian Honour?

Ghosts Of Chinatown

Sanjeed’s Silver Service

The Magic Dress

Achmed And I And The Old And Original Middle Eastern Coffee Trade Wars

Communion Soup

The Song Of The Clapsticks From The Barmah State Forest

I Only Started Living When I Was Dying

My Life With Mary

The Very Fat Mouse

This book is

dedicated to

All those people out there who work tirelessly for the protection of the environment.

Those tree huggers, because I love to hug trees too; but I do it because I love them and want to cuddle up to them and feel their energy. I have never chained myself to a tree but it seems obvious to me that if we would consider ourselves civilised human beings that we would not cut down beautiful and majestic old trees merely to fill the pockets of some rich bastard.

These trees need to be left in the forest where they belong and preserved so that our children can love and appreciate them as we have been lucky enough to be able to do. We have lost too much already.

We have already destroyed too much beauty on this planet, it’s about time we woke up to ourselves and learnt to have the respect for these creatures; that they so truly deserve.

We need to start to look after the world in which we are so lucky enough to live in.

And Mrs. Elizabeth Phillips Austin; because the total cost of the building that she erected in Burgundy Street was defrayed by her and was opened 19/071881 and named in her honour as, The Austin Hospital in Heidelberg Melbourne; and whose doctors some 133 years later, saved my life.

And also Marie Sinclair, one of those dedicated and tireless medical professionals who does research at the Austin and is possibly at the very forefront of her science in the world; she most probably didn’t bother to learn to spell cat in the real world as a young girl because it was too childish for her enormous brain.

Well this is not the usual short story book that he pumps out

and bores us stupid with. It is a series of conversations between people

through emails and the developing of their relationship together as people,

it is merely smut; but then people like perving into the lives of others and

reading smut, so please feel free to jump in and swim.

INTRODUCTION

A   FEW YEARS AGO when I was living in Vietnam trying to edit and publish my second book I used to worry that as a writer I had run my term, that all I had to give to the loosely termed literary world was already wrung out of me.

There was a bar there in that town of Duong Dong, as there usually is, run by an Australian expat and in that bar one night at about three in the morning when all the other customers had the good sense to go home, I was chatting to him.

He confessed that he had become obsessed with a girl and I asked who it was because I knew most in the near vicinity. It wasn’t a huge community in which we lived.

No on the internet he told me and he said how he had to watch her and that he communicated with her every day, sometimes many times every day.

I didn’t think much of this conversation, because the significance of what he was telling me made little sense until some four years later and I was not well and thinking about where my next book would come from and also why my marriage seemed little more than a business relationship; I started to look into what was going on out there in the electronic ether.

The question do you have a cam came up often and many made it a point of pride that they had cams and at first I didn’t understand. I soon was educated about cam girls however because so many of them kept asking me or telling me that they were cam girls and so one of them told me how it works.

Girls who can be anywhere on the planet with a laptop and Internet computer connection can set up their own business. Men, usually, then pay to watch them put on a performance.

The girl who explained this to me showed me that the bed that she sat on was real, but there were curtains behind her with posters to make it look like she was in a nice flat somewhere. She moved the laptop and panned around the bark adobe hut where she actually lived, complete with toothless grandmother wearing a red stained grin squatting over a small fire in the corner cooking the evening meal.

Her uncle dropped in and there were two nephews standing by the door giggling to the camera.

Her family had put her through school to learn English and with the help of an aid organisation who bought her a laptop she was supporting not just her own immediate family with her work, but also of an uncle and two aunts and their families.

Her entire family was now relatively well off due to her looks and efforts and well fed thanks to the work she did on that bed in front of that backdrop with her laptop and other associated tools of the trade. Nobody cared in the least about how she earned that money she was very much a well-respected member of her small village. I just can’t imagine what grandma thought of her performances, did she comment, offer constructive criticism or even possible coach her in the arts of developing strong sexual persuasion.

I found this fascinating and had a couple of very interesting chats with the girl about her life and life in her village, but never ever paid to watch a performance so I am not at liberty to tell stories of the performances or the exploits of cam girls, but what I did discover also was fishing girls.

No need for these girls to perform sexual acts upon their bodies in front of the cam and they didn’t have to even get naked. In all possibility even a man somewhere on the planet with a photo that he has stolen from the internet somewhere can set himself up as a fishing girl. Girls who can bait and catch a fish, then reel them in say come in spinner and reap the financial rewards for her efforts.

It all starts from the emails I received by putting my name and profile on a far too obvious website and after we traded addresses and of course they showed me their dresses and dress ups. Every single one of these girls was extremely pretty, with perfect bodies and stunning faces. The sort of girls who could walk into a bar anywhere in the world and attract the attention of any particular man they chose.

I am not saying that these conversations in this book are those between me and some fishing girls, I will let you decide or try to judge the truth of what was going on because my particular brain is too small to work it all out.

Needless to say that looking for love on the Internet is fraught with dangerous subterfuge and somewhere amongst all that there are real people with good intentions who are probably just getting messed about.

They reminded me of being a little boy and warnings about catching catfish.

CATFISH

I   FIRST HEARD OF catfish from my best mate when I was about twelve years old and we used to go fishing in the Murray River and it’s tributaries a little upstream from Swan Hill where we lived. There happens to be a place there where a side part of that great river cut itself off and then came back at a place that I call Pental Island. It is there in Swan Hill as the place where the little Murray as the white folk have called it and the great Murray came back together. Well the island is just the place that separates the two of these rivers, if you think about this seriously you will realise that they actually created an island home between each other and right where they come back to love each other is just there in Swan Hill and when you think about it; life is funny that rivers would do these things. Did they have an argument many thousands of years ago one day about which was the right path to travel and one went the highway and the other went the low road.

Well right where they come back was a special fishing spot for my friend and me and we caught many a redfin fish there. But he told me of a creature that lurked in these rivers that is called the catfish. A frightening thing to get on your line for a little boy fisherman because they are deadly creatures, they fight like fuck when they are caught on your line and when you get them out of the water they can kill you with their poisonous barbs.

I caught one of them once and I picked her up and looked into her face and she said let me go you prick or I will prick you with my barbs and you will be as sick as fuck. She did not lie to me so I let her go but in some countries these creatures eat her cousins and everybody that they come into contact with and in some countries she has grown so big as to catch humans and swallow them. This is indeed recorded fact; there are marine biologists out there who have proven this to be true.

They have whiskers on them like a frighteningly old European grandmother and whatever you do in your life do not try to kiss the catfish or look her in the eye.

Some of these girls actually earn their living by luring guys into signing up to websites offering to guarantee them meeting somebody when in actual fact they were just touting for the websites themselves. I had a couple of women actually have the nerve to try to sign up to four and five sites, one after another just with the promise of being able to talk to a photo that could have been plucked from the internet somewhere and handing over money to websites that didn’t even exist.

With a bit of work people are creating whole so called dating or sex finding websites that are full of entirely fictitious people, and getting people to pay large sums of money to sign up to see women that don’t even exist.

And many women at this point would be saying it’s just about a bunch of dirty old men trying to get off with some sex with a slut thing but you may be the one’s with the filthy mind because for one many of these men are just lonely and looking for love and affection for a start and also.

It’s not just men who are getting caught nor is it just about just sex

A woman doctor here handed over $90, 000 to a guy pretending to be the director of a children’s hospital in South Africa.

In just two weeks they were communicating via Skype and his office was set up in a hut in Nigeria and he didn’t even have the pants for his Suit, he just had a shirt and tie and a desk that he sat behind.

He had given her enough forged documents make his story believable, she had fallen in love with this hero who was saving kids lives and planned to spend the rest of her life working as a doctor in this children’s hospital with the man that she loved and admired.

A 45-year-old man from Melbourne that I spoke to fell for a woman that he was led to believe was from Russia. They met on an Internet website and were chatting for about three weeks before the woman wanted to move in with him.

She kindly asked for $1, 000 to buy a plane ticket to the United States. He obliged. She then needed another $2, 000 to cover moving expenses. Again, the man obliged.

But after receiving the money, the woman deleted her profile from the dating site. The man emailed her, but she never responded. He had lost a few thousand dollars and what he mistakenly thought was his partner.

Victoria Police said there wasn’t much they could do because the scam came from overseas, it wasn’t part of their jurisdiction. As far as I can work out there are at least ten websites set up specifically for Russian brides wishing to live in another country and most of the women on them are stunning to look at.

Beguiling guys,

and of course girls

I suppose;

for that matter if

we are going to try

to not be sexist

about these things

both play games

Before you start thinking I am a very rude prick I must tell you that I did not keep all the emails from this first woman because for one I was enraged about her disgusting behavior and two I didn’t think I needed to keep the evidence.

Needless to say she seemed to earn her money enticing guys to sign up to website after website and leading them on into thinking that at some point they would be able to contact her and maybe even meet for coffee. The scary thing about this one was that the address that she gave was