The Scars to Prove It

By Chris Gulino

CHRIS GULINO is a writer born in Buffalo, New York on C H R I S G U L I N O
August 19, 1970 and now lives in Las Vegas, Nevada.
He is a 43 year old Italian American who lives with his
girlfriend Loretta Hembre and their soon to be born
son Anthony Christopher Gulino. He enjoys playing
drums and singing in his local Punk Rock band Urban
Disposal and playing backgammon on his free time.
Other than that, he is a very busy guy..

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Aug 27, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483681498

Chris Gulino

Chris Gulino is a writer born in Buffalo, New York on August 19, 1970 and now lives in Las Vegas, Nevada. He is a 43 year old Italian American who lives with his girlfriend Loretta Hembre and their soon to be born son Anthony Christopher Gulino. He enjoys playing drums and singing in his local Punk Rock band Urban Disposal and playing backgammon on his free time. Other than that, he is a very busy guy………..

Book preview

COPYRIGHT © 2013 BY CHRIS GULINO.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF THIS BOOK MAY BE REPRODUCED OR TRANSMITTED IN ANY FORM OR BY ANY MEANS, ELECTRONIC OR MECHANICAL, INCLUDING PHOTOCOPYING, RECORDING, OR BY ANY INFORMATION STORAGE AND RETRIEVAL SYSTEM, WITHOUT PERMISSION IN WRITING FROM THE COPYRIGHT OWNER.

REV. DATE: 08/13/2013

TO ORDER ADDITIONAL COPIES OF THIS BOOK, CONTACT:

XLIBRIS LLC

1-888-795-4274

WWW.XLIBRIS.COM

ORDERS 27288.jpg XLIBRIS.COM

133440

CONTENTS

DEDICATIONS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

FOREWORD

A GREAT TIME

A LESSON IN PAIN

A MISTAKE?

A WEAKNESS OF THE THINKING PROCESS

ABORTION OF THE SELF INDUCED KIND

ACCIDENTS

ALL THE WOMEN IN THE WORLD

ALL WOMEN ARE BITCHES

. . . AND NOW A WORD FROM A PSYCHO

ANOTHER LOST CHANCE

ANOTHER STORM ROLLING IN

ARE YOU WORKING?

AT THE BAR AGAIN

AT THE DISPERSAL OF OTHERS

AWAITING BLISS

BACKSTABBING LIAR

BAD DAYS

BATTERED HEART

BATTLE OF WILL

BETTER SAID THAN DONE

BEYOND DEMAND

BLEEDING NATION

BLONDE HAIRED GUYS ARE ASSHOLES

BOREDOM BRINGS BAD THOUGHTS

BROKEN SAVIOR

BULLSHIT AND MISERY

BURDEN TAKER OF RECYCLED PAIN

CAN’T HIDE FROM THE TRUTH

CHANGE OF FATE

CHARM (THINK QUICK)

CONTAMINATION

CREATOR OF FALSE DESIRE

CROWN OF THORNS

CYCLE OF THE LIFE MACHINE

DEAD IN THE WOMB

DIE ALONE

DISASTER

DISTRAUGHT

DOING TIME

DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY

DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

DON’T BE SURPRIZED

DRAGGED DOWN

EVOL LOVE

EXCERPTS FOR THE SUCCUBUS

EXCERPTS FROM A BORED PERSON (PART 2)

EXCERPTS FROM A BORED PERSON

FACT OR FICTION

FAITH

FATE BY CREATION

FINAL WORD, DEDICATIONS, AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

FOR SOME REASON

FREEFALL

FRIEND OR FOE?

FUCK MY WORLD

GHOSTDANCE

GINA… .

GOING AGAINST THE NEGATIVE POLE

GOING CRAZY

GOING HOME LONELY

GOLD DIGGERS

GONE FOR GOOD

HEARTLESS? . . . . YOU BET

HER KEEPERS PUNISH

HER

HOLOCAUST OF THE ANT FARMS AND THE PYRAMID SCAM

HOW DO I GIVE LOVE WHEN I NEVER RECEIVED ANY?

I AM YOU

I’M FUCKED

IDENTIFICATION G.E.N.O.C.I.D.E.

IF ONLY

IMPOSSIBLE

IN DEBT WITH THE VAIN

INNER DECAY

INTERLUDE

INTERNAL DECOMPOSITION

IT TAKES ONE

IT WILL COME

JUDICIAL MISCARRIAGE

JUICE

KARMIC WHORE

KING SPIDER

KINGDOM OF HATE

LASHBACK

LAST TIME WAITING

LATE FOOL

LIGHT OF MY LIFE

LONELY OUTCAST TRAVELER (A TRAINEE IN PAIN)

LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND CRY

LORD OF BETRAYERS

LOST

MAJORITY RULE

MALE KILLERS

MAYBE IT’S BETTER THAT I DIDN’T

MEATZI

MENTAL GIRL

MIDDLE SCHOOL

MOMENTS TOO LATE

MONGERS OF PLANET GLITZ

MORNING SICKNESS

MR. SANDMAN

MR. WRONG (THE MAN OF HER DREAMS)

MY DARKEST HOUR

MY FUNERAL

NEGATIVE BELIEVER

NEVER

NO CHANCES

NO SANCTUARY

NO SOLUTION

NOBLE FINDINGS OF THE MEEK

NOT A PLACE TO BE

NOT MADE FOR SOCIETY

ODE TO GRANDPA

OLD FAITHFUL

ON NEPTUNE SHE BURNS WITH ME

ONE SIDED LOVE

ORACLE OF EROTICISM

OUTCAST

OVERPAID MENNEQUIN

PARADISE

PARTY FAVORS

PEOPLE

PERFORMANCE IN AMERICA

PINNACA (COURT OF THE DEAD)

POLICE BRUTALITY

PRAGMATIC LEADERS OF DECEIT

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION

PROSTITUTE KILLER

PROVE YOURSELF

PURITY’S RETURN

PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN AND WALK STRAIGHT AHEAD

RAN DOWN AND OUT

RAZOR SHARP OBSERVATIONS

REAL LOVE IS REAL PAIN

RECYCLED ENERGIES

REGRESSUS AD UTERUM

REMNANTS OF LIFE

RENAISSANCE GIRL

RICH, ASSHOLE, KNOW IT ALL, LAWYER, DRUMMER

ROCK BOTTOM

RUN FOR SHELTER

SCARRED FOR LIFE

SELF DESTRUCTIVE BRAIN SEX

SHE IS

SHE’S GONE AND OVER

SHOULD SHE HAVE KNOWN?

SHUT DOWN

SLUMBER

SOMEBODY GIVE ME SOME ANSWERS

SOMETHING HILARIOUS

SPACEMAN

SPLIT SOUL

STUPID (PART UNKNOWN)

SUBCONSCIOUS WOMEN

SUICIDE (ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE)

SWEET, SWEET PAIN

TABLOID SHIT EATERS

TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT

TALK SHOWS

TEST OF THE OBEDIENT

THANKS TO YOU

THE ASSHOLE

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROLLINS AND I

THE DREAM OF FOREVER

THE LONGING

THE LUCKY ONES

THE OUTCOME

THE PARANOIA OF FAMILY ANGST

THE PRICE OF LOVE

THE PROM

THE RING (WOMEN OF THE LEFT HAND)

THE TRASH / MAN

THE TROUBLE IS… .

THE ULTIMATUM OF MECHANICAL CONFORMITY

THE WOMAN I’LL NEVER MEET

THE WRONG IDEA

THINGS AIN’T THE SAME

THOUGHTS OF HAZE

TRANSITIONAL CIRCUS SIDE SHOW

TRAPPED FOR GOOD

TRIUMPH OR TRAGEDY

TRUST, FAITH, DEATH

UNREASONABLE DOUBT

UNVEILED (THE DECADENCE OF EMPTINESS)

USERS AND THIEVES

VISITORS

VULTURES

WAITING

WASTE OF MY TIME, ENERGY, BREATHE, BOREDOM AND MORE ETC.

WELL OFF HOLLYWOOD FOOLS

WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN

WHAT IF

WHEEL OF DECEPTION

WHEN I LEAVE

WHEN THE FIRE BURNS OUT

WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?

WHIPPED

WHO EVER THOUGHT

WILL SHE COME AROUND?

WOMEN ARE DOGS TOO

YOU MAKE ME SICK

35904.jpg  DEDICATIONS AND ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS  35904.jpg

THANKS TO ALL OF MY FAMILY AND WHAT FRIENDS I HAVE FOR THEIR INTEREST AND SUPPORT IN THIS PIECE OF WORK. ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE ALMIGHTY AS WELL AS MY LOVING ANCHOR IN LIFE AND GIRLFRIEND LORETTA HEMBRE AND OUR SOON TO BE BORN SON ANTHONY CHRISTOPHER GULINO FOR GIVING ME MORE AMBITION TO SUCCEED. I THANK THE GREAT PEOPLE AT XLIBRIS FOR MAKING THIS PROCESS VERY EASY AND THIS WORK A POSSIBILITY. STAY ALERT FOR MY NEXT PIECE OF WORK, EXILE.

35904.jpg  FOREWORD  35904.jpg

THIS BOOK WAS WRITTEN AS A PREQUEL TO UNIDENTIFIED. IT CONTAINS NO CHAPTERS FOR THE BULK OF THE BOOK IS EXCLUSIVELY POETRY. THE REASON FOR THIS IS THAT IT WAS WRITTEN AS EARLIER THOUGHTS AND PHILOSOPHICAL VIEWS BY OUR ANONYMOUS CHARACTER IN UNIDENTIFIED PREDATING HIS ACTIONS IN THAT READING. THE READER MAY GET A BETTER UNDERSTANDING OF OUR CHARACTER IN THE SCARS TO PROVE IT TO GAIN A WIDER KNOWLEDGE OF HOW THE CHARACTER THINKS, WHAT MOLDED HIM INTO WHO HE WAS AT AN EARLIER STAGE IN LIFE, AND WHAT ULTIMATELY CONSTRUCTS HIS VISION TOWARD THE OUTSIDE WORLD LATER IN LIFE. MANY TRACES OF OUR CHARACTERS’ EXPRESSIONS ABOUT LOVE, POLITICS, DEPRESSION, AND THE HUMAN CONDITION CAN BE FOUND IN THE POETRY OF WHAT OUR CHARACTER HAS WRITTEN, WHICH IN TURN CAN HELP THE READER UNDERSTAND BETTER HIS THINKING PROCESS IN UNIDENTIFIED.

SO, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, WALK INTO A MADMAN’S MIND, OR IS IT REALLY A REFLECTION OF YOURSELF? SANITY OR INSANITY? YOU MAKE THAT DECISION AND AT THE SAME TIME JUDGE YOURSELF AS WELL… .

35904.jpg  A GREAT TIME  35904.jpg

INFEST; JUNEFEST

DIDN’T HAVE A VERY GOOD TIME THIS YEAR

ALTHOUGH THE MUSIC WAS GREAT

HUNG AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF ACQUAINTANCES

LATER THEY ABANDONED ME

NEVER FELT SO ALONE

FELT MORE ALONE WITH THEM AROUND

SITTING THERE ALONE SURROUNDED BY TRASH

AMAZING HOW MUCH PEOPLE BECOME ASSHOLES IN A CROWD

YOU TRY TO PUSH YOUR WAY THROUGH THE NOISE TO GET TO ISOLATION

THEY PUSH YOU BACK AS IF THEY WANT TO KEEP YOU IN

BRING YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL AND KILL YOU

ALL THESE PEOPLE WITH SOMEONE ON THEIR ARMS FEELING THE JOY AND HAPPINESS OF LOVE

I NEVER FELT SO EMPTY. THAT MUST FEEL NICE. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT PAIN FEELS LIKE

COULDN’T HANDLE IT

A NEWSPAPER BLEW AND STUCK TO MY LEG. MAY 24

TH

NO GIRL; NO SANITY. I GUESS THIS WAS A METAPHOR FOR: I’M YESTERDAY’S NEWS

. . . A WEEK LATER… . SUICIDAL TENDENCIES

STANDING ON THE STEPS WATCHING THEM

SOME LONG HAIR WAS STANDING BEHIND ME. DIDN’T BELONG. DIDN’T UNDERSTAND

WHAT THE SHIT WAS ALL ABOUT

HE SAID I BUMPED INTO HIS WIFE: I THOUGHT THIS WAS A PUNK SHOW.

IF YOU CAN’T TAKE A BUMP, GET THE FUCK OUT!

IT WAS BULLSHIT. I DIDN’T TOUCH ANYBODY. JUST MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS

I TOLD HIM I WAS THERE FIRST AND TO GO TO ANOTHER AREA.

LIKE AN OVERLY INTELLIGENT PRICK, HE SAID FUCK YOU

IS HIS WIFE MADE OF FUCKING GOLD?! SICK OF ASSHOLES WHO HAVE NO CONCEPT ABOUT PAIN

SO I GRABBED HIS PRECIOUS FUCKING HAIR AND BEAT THE FUCK OUT OF HIM

I GOT KICKED OUT. GOOD NIGHT

WRITTEN: JUNE 14, 1997

35904.jpg  A LESSON IN PAIN  35904.jpg

TONIGHT

HOW IRONIC THAT I HAD TO PLAY A DEAD MAN

STUPID CPR CLASS

CHRIS PRACTICES RECKLESSNESS

I’M THE DEAD MAN. THERE IS NO HOPE

LOWEST PULSE OF THEM ALL

NUMB IN MY RELAXED STATE

RATS LOOKING DOWN ON ME

TRYING TO GET INSIDE ME

TO INHERIT AND INHABIT MY BODY

. . . . THEY HAVE GOTTEN TO ME!

THEY WANT A PIECE TO FORGE THE EASY WAY OUT

WITHOUT A DOUBT. A FREE RIDE TO INSANITY

THEY’LL TAKE WHATEVER THEY CAN TO OVERPOWER ME

EAT ME UP. VULNERABLE. TASTE MY POWER. FEEL IT’S STING

DON’T EXPECT ME TO SAVE YOUR LIVES. DEATH IS YOUR PENALTY

I’LL WATCH YOU DIE LIKE YOU DID I. I’M THE DEAD MAN

WRITTEN: JANUARY 16, 1996

35904.jpg  A MISTAKE?  35904.jpg

GOD

NEXT TIME YOU CREATE A WORLD

COULD YOU PLEASE NOT GIVE IT TO THEM?

THEY DESTROY EVERYTHING THEY TOUCH

INCLUDING THEMSELVES AND THEIR OWN KIND

PEOPLE SUCH AS I

WORD SAYS THEY ARE ALL YOUR CHILDREN

FACT IS THEY’RE WORSE THAN CHILDREN

UNCONTROLLABLE

THEY’RE MORE LIKE COLLEGE FRAT HOUSE PARTY ANIMALS

NOT GIVING A FUCK AT PARTIES CAUSE IT’S NOT THEIR HOUSE

GETTING DRUNK AND ROWDY

THE EVOLUTION OF INDUSTRIALIZATION

LEAVING A DUMPSTER OF A MESS BEHIND, WITHIN

LET THE OWNER CLEAN IT UP

IT’S NOT OUR HOUSE

IT IS BUT IT ISN’T

THE BEER BOTTLES I MEAN, NOT THE HOUSE

OUR POSSESSIONS, NOT THE EARTH

PUNCHING HOLES IN THE WALLS

THIS ISN’T WHAT I THINK AS I OBSERVE THE SMOG LAID OUT BEFORE MY EYES

AND WORLDWIDE OIL SPILLS

WHAT IGNORANT CHILD’S PLAY

WRITTEN: JANUARY 6, 1996

35904.jpg  A WEAKNESS OF THE THINKING PROCESS  35904.jpg

WHY DO YOU SPREAD RUMORS?

DO YOU BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR?

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CARE?

I’M A FREAK, REMEMBER?

ANYWAY, YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND, DON’T YOU?

AND FRIENDS

SO WHY WOULD YOU EVEN CARE?

WHY WOULD YOU HATE SOMEONE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW?

DOES IT MAKE YOUR ADRENALINE FLOW?

ARE YOU THAT SHALLOW OF A PERSON TO BECOME AND BELIEVE

THAT THE PERFORMANCE OF SOMEONE’S SEX DRIVE DETERMINES HOW MUCH

OF A HUMAN BEING THEY ARE?

DO YOU LOVE TO HURT PEOPLE?

DOES THE ASSURANCE OF BREAKING ANOTHER HEART MAKE YOU FEEL MORE SECURE?

DOES FEELING LIKE A SELFISH AND EVIL PERSON MAKE YOU HORNIER THAN HIS BIG ROD

INSIDE OF YOU?

OR DO YOU REALLY FEEL PASSIONATE LOVE FOR ME DEEP DOWN INSIDE?

UNHAPPY WITH WHAT YOU GOT?

FANTASIZING ABOUT A CHANCE WITH ME TO FIND OUT IF THE RUMORS ARE TRUE?

BUT YOU KNOW IN YOUR BLACK HEART THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN

BECAUSE OF WHAT YOUR FRIENDS THINK

AND THEY THINK THE SAME AS YOU WHICH MAKE YOU ALL THE MORE MECHANICAL

SO, KNOWING YOU CAN’T HAVE ME, JEALOUSY SETS IN

AND TO COVER IT UP, YOU SIDE WITH THE CROWD SO YOU WON’T BE OUTCAST AND SHUNNED

OR LEFT OUT IN THE COLD, ALONE AND ACHING LIKE ME. BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS RIGHT

YOU COULDN’T TAKE THE PAIN I’M FEELING RIGHT NOW

YOU WOULD HAVE KILLED YOURSELF A LONG TIME AGO

FROM THE BURDEN OF HEARTACHE YOU HAVEN’T COME CLOSE TO FEELING

BECAUSE YOUR WEAK AND I’M STRONG

DID YOUR FRIENDS THINK I WAS A GOD BEFORE THE RUMORS?

THEN TURNED ON ME FOR FEAR OF THEIR REPUTATION?

WRITTEN: NOVEMBER 1, 1995

35904.jpg  ABORTION OF THE

SELF INDUCED KIND  35904.jpg

IS IT POSSIBLE?

IF ONLY I COULD FIND THAT .45 I’LL PROCEED WITH THE JOB MYSELF

COULD I BE IN FOR A LATE ABORTION

OF MYSELF?

I NEVER REALLY LIVED IN THE FIRST PLACE

AS I LOOK BACK

SOMETIMES IT LOOKS AS IF MY FATHER IS GOING TO FINISH

IF MY PARENTS COULD LOOK INTO THE FUTURE WHEN I WAS BORN

AND SEE HOW UNCERTAIN MY LIFE WAS TO BECOME

A JOB LONG OVERDUE

WOULD THEY HAVE WENT THROUGH WITH THE PROCEDURE THEN?

IT SURE WOULD HAVE SAVED THEM A LOT OF TIME AND MONEY

AND HEADACHES

HE WILL CLENCH HIS COLD .44 MAGNUM IN HIS HAND AND… .

AS I RECALL MEMORIES FROM THE WOMB:

THAT SLIMY TUBE CONNECTED TO ME

TURN AROUND AND… .

IT’S IRRITATING AND UNCOMFORTABLE

HOW DO YOU GET IT OFF?

BLOW MY HEAD CLEAN OFF MY SHOULDERS!

I TRY MY HARDEST EVERY DAY TO SNAP IT AND DISCONNECT IT

BUT IT WON’T COME LOOSE; I CAN’T SET MYSELF FREE

THEN I FOUND IT

IT FOUND ME

THEN I BECAME TOO OCCUPIED WITH THE OTHER

BRAINS SPLATTERED

I WAS TOO BUSY DISCOVERING NEW THINGS TO GIVE A DAMN

ABOUT BEING SET FREE

AGAINST THE WALL

UNTIL FINALLY IT WAS TOO LATE. I PAID THE PRICE FOR NOT PAYING ATTENTION

BUT I DIDN’T GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT. I CAME OUT BACKWARD, FEET FIRST

TRYING TO KICK IN THE HEAD AND SPLIT THEIR SKULL FOR WHOEVER TRIED TAKING ME OUT

KICKING AND SCREAMING. I WANTED BACK IN. SO I COULD GET THAT CHANCE AGAIN

STRANGLE MYSELF WITH THE CORD. NOW I’M 25 AND NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED.

WHERE IS MY GUN?

WRITTEN: AUGUST 30, 1995

35904.jpg  ACCIDENTS  35904.jpg

THIS WILL KILL YOU

WE ALL MAKE THESE

THAT COULD PROVE FATAL

BAD JUDGMENT

MUCH TO THE DISLIKING

OF YOUR SURVEILLANCE

MAYBE IN DEMAND OF THE ESOTERIC

TO DAMAGE OUR PRIDE

WE ALL HEAD FOR ACCIDENTS

SO THEY SAY

THE VIRTUE OF THEIR CHARACTER

WHICH IS NONE

DRENCHED IN LIES AND DANGEROUS TRUTH