Quondam a Soliloquy

By Peter McKinney

NA

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Dec 8, 2011
• ISBN: 9781465389718

Peter McKinney

NA

Book preview

QUONDAM

A SOLILOQUY

LIFE—LIVING

           LOVE—LONELINESS

ETHOS—PATHOS

           AND OTHER THOTS

INCLUDES: HAIKU II POETRY

PETER McKINNEY

Copyright © 2011 by PETER McKINNEY.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

Contents

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

FOREWORD

PREFACE

SECTION ONE

ASSORTED VERSES

ALONE

WHY

PRECIOUS AND RARE

NEXT BEND

GREENER GRASS

LIFE 1

SAND

DAWN

WILD OATS

TWO BEING ONE

COLORS OF LIFE

BASICS

WINTER

IN NEED

IF

SANDCASTLE 1

(SANDI)

SECTION TWO

HELL-O, GOODBYE

LONESOME MAN

DO I KNOW YOU

LIFE II

MY LOVE

ALONE II

SOMEDAY

SOUND

LOVE

SECTION THREE

ROSES

YOU

CHANGE, CONFLICT AND COMMITMENT

LIKE WINE

TIME & LIFE

ENJOY

KUBLA KAHN II

IN SEARCH OF SOMEONE TO BE MY OWN

CHILD

AT LAST

MYSTERY

SECTION FOUR

FREELY

ALONE III

QUONDAM

UNDIFFERENTIATED

OF TWO GIRLS THAT I HAVE KNOWN

FRUSTRATIONS

SANDCASTLES II

SECTION FIVE

HAIKU II

SECTION SIX

BELLE RAVEN

LEAVES

SOJOURN

DESIGN

SAND-CANDLES

RECKONING

TO TOUCH THE MORNING AIR

TEMPEST

LIFE IS

AUTUMNAL

LOVELY RAVEN

FOND FAREWELL

SECTION SEVEN

PEACE

SWEETEST DAY

BIRTHDAY

BLACK SKY OF NIGHT

OF THE NIGHT

TO ME

RAINBOW OF THE NIGHT

YOU AND ME

ONE DAY

BUT FOR YOU

SECTION EIGHT:

EPILOGUE TO QUONDAM

AT LAST II

THRU JOURNEYS END

BOOK 2 - HAIKU, RAMBLINGS AND OTHER THOTS

HAIKU II STYLE POETRY

TOGETHER

I JUST DO,

I DO NOT KNOW WHY

PASTLES, MY LOVE

EVERYDAY

ISN’T IT NICE

INSEPARABLES

TRUTH AND TRUST

HAPPY TODAY

PALE MOON

RAMBLINGS

WORDS

NO PROMISES

OF THREE AND ME

TOMORROW TODAY

EVERYTHING IS YOU

LOVE ‘N’ LIGHTNING

FEELING LOVE

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

MOMENTS

AS IS KNOWN

SILENT WINDS

MAGICAL-MYSTICAL MOUNTAIN

WHAT TO SAY

SILENT TIMES

MY BELLE RAVEN BEAUTY

ENGAGEMENT WISH

…AND IF…

TO ME

THE FIRST TIME

MAN

MY LOVE, UNKNOWN

MORE HAIKU II

PREFACE

PROEM

DEDICATED TO ALL WHO INSPIRED ME TO WRITE: JAN, JEAN, SANDI, KARLIE, JENNY, CAROL L, CHERYL, AUDRY, GLENDA AND THOSE I DO NOT RECALL.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

GREATFUL ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IS RENDERED TO THE FOLLOWING FOR PROVIDING ME WITH MANY OF THE IDEAS I HAVE EXPRESSED IN THE FOLLOWING PAGES OF ESSAYS AND VERSES.

ROD McKUEN FROM HIS MANY RECORD ALBUMS.

MARY TRAVERS FROM HER ALBUM MARY.

MARGARET MEADE FROM HER BOOK THE GENERATION GAP.

ALBERT ELLES, PH. D. HIS BOOK THE ART AND SCIENCE OF LOVE.

FRANK S. CAPRIO, M.D. A GUIDE TO LIVING IN BALANCE.

ALBERT ELLIS, PH. D. AND ROBERT A HARPER, PH. D. A GUIDE TO RATIONAL LIVING.

LOUIS UNTERMEYER, ROBERT FROSTS POEMS.

K.C. BARNES FROM HIS BOOK HE AND SHE

FOREWORD

THE YEAR IS 1970. I WAS NAVY HOSPITAL CORPSMAN, X-RAY TECHNOLOGIST; I HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM X-RAY SCHOOL AT THE NAVAL HOSPITAL IN SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA.

I HADN’T REALLY THOUGHT OF PUTTING TOGETHER A ‘BOOK’ FROM MY VARIOUS SCATTERED: THOUGHTS, VERSES, ESSAYS AND POETRY. THOUGH MY FRIENDS WOULD ASK ME, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WASN’T REALLY SURE MYSELF! SO I WOULD NEVER ANSWER ‘OH, I’M JUST WRITING A BOOK’ AND I WOULD ADD THAT I WAS JUST KEEPING MY MIND FROM GETTING ‘RUSTY’. ESCAPING TO THE ORDINDARY DAY AFTER COMPLETING MY X-RAY DUTIES AT THE NAVY HOSPITAL LONG BEACH, CALIFORNIA.

AS AN X-RAY TECH I WAS OFTEN ASKED IF I DREAMED ABOUT MY X-RAY WORK i.e.: TAKE A BREATHE, HOLD IT, DON’T MOVE, OR DON’T BREATHE OR MOVE; OR ANY OF THE OTHER PHRASES USED IN X-RAY EXAMS. I USUALLY ANSWERED, ‘NO, BECAUSE I AM TOO TIRED TO DREAM ABOUT MY WORK.’

QUITE OFEN, THOUGH, I WOULD FALL ASLEEP THINKING ABOUT A VERSE THAT I WAS WORKING ON OR I WOULD CONJURE-UP A NEW IDEA FOR A NEW VERSE TO KEEP ME BUSY.

THE YEAR IS 1972 AND I AM IN THE PHILIPPINES STATIONED AT THE NAVY HOSPITAL, SUBIC BAY PART OF THE U.S. NAVAL PRESENCE IN THE PHILIPPINES. I HAD BEN USING A BORROWED TYPEWRITER WHEN I WAS IN LONG BEACH TO TYPE MY ESSAYS. I HAD MY OWN TYPEWRITER IN THE PHILIPPINES AND WAS STARTING TO FINISH MY ‘BOOK’ WHILE I WAS STILL ATTEMPTING TO BRING MY ‘BOOK’ TO A CLOSE.

A NUMBER OF CORPSMAN WONDERED WHO COULD BE TYPING SO MUCH, SO OFTEN, AND WOULD DROP IN TO ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING? WAS I WRITNING A BOOK OR SOMETHING? WHAT WAS IT ABOUT? HOW DO, YOU WRITE A? WHERE DID YOU GET YOUR IDEAS? BY THEN I COULD TELL THEM, YES I WAS WRITNG A BOOK. IT WAS ABOUT ME AND WHAT I HAD BEEN DOING SINCE I JOINED THE NAVY IN 1965. TRYING TO TELL THEM HOW TO WRITE A BOOK WAS A BIT MORE DIFFICULT. I WOULD FIRST OF ALL TELL THEM THAT THEY NEEDED AND IDEA AND MATERIAL TO COMPLETE THEIR IDEA WITH, TO FORM IT INTO A BOOK.

AS TO WHERE I PERCEIVED MY IDEAS WAS SIMPLE; THEY WERE ABOUT MY LIFE AND EVERYDAY EVENTS THAT COULD BE WRITTEN IN ESSAY OR VERSE. WRITING THIS BOOK ‘QUONDAM A SOLILOQUY’ HAD LOOSENED MY MIND AND STARTED IT THINKING OF OTHER POSSIBILITIES. HOWEVER, THE IDEAS AT THAT TIME WERE STILL UP IN THE AIR UNTIL I COULD SETTLE DOWN AND BE FREE FROM THE NAVY—TO DO AS I PLEASED, WHEN I PLEASED!

PSM

PREFACE

IT IS NOT THE INTENTION OF THIS BOOK AS A WHOLE OR ANY OF ITS ESSAYS OR VERSES TO SOLVE ANY PROBLEMS, NOR TO EVEN PROFESS ANY NEW IDEALS. HOWEVER, IF AFTERREADING THE CONTENTS TO COME AWAY THINKING WITH A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW ABOUT LIFE—THAT IS ALL THAT CAN BE EXPECTED, AND THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT; OR AT LEAST THAT IS HOW WE WOULD LIKE IT TO BE, AND HOPEFULLY THAT IS HOW WE WOULD LIKE LIFE TO BE.

THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A GREATER NEED FOR MAN TO UNDERSTAND HIMSELF. HUMANITY HAS PROGRESSED FURTHER TOWARD UNDERSTANDING HUMANITY IN A BRIEFER PERIOD OF TIME THAN HUMANITY HAS IN THE PAST MILLENNIUMS.

THE NEED TO UNDERSTAND HUMANITY AND THE MEANING OF LIFE AND THE INTERPLAY OF THE TWO. AND TO PROBE EVEN FURTHER INTO THE MYSTIQUE OF HUMANITIES PAST AND TO CREATE A BETTER FUTURE.

ACKNOWLEDGING HUMANITIES PAST, COPING WITH HUMANITIES PRESENT; POSSIBLY HUMANITIES FUTURE WIIL BE AN APPROPROATE BLENDING OF THE PAST, THE PRESENT, CULMINATING IN THE FUTURE—A SYMBOSIS OF ALL HUMANITY.

life’s muses persuasive:

RESTRAINED: TEMERARIOUSLY WE ABANDON

                       OPPOSITION…

WHIMSICALLY…WE CONFORM INSOUCIANTLY…

                       CONTINGENTLY SATIATED…

                                               BAFFLED…

CONSEQUENTLY: WHIMSICAL RECTITUDE…

                       CAPRICIOUS MANNERS….

SECTION ONE

ASSORTED VERSES

TO EXPERIENCE THE

LONELINESS OF

ONE’S SELF

IS TO

UNFOLD

ONE OF

LIFE’S

INTIMATE

MOMENTS…

TO DREAM THE

IMPOSSIBLE

DREAM

IS TO

UNFOLD

BEFORE

YOURSELF

ALL THE

WONDERS

OF

LIFE…

RAINY

DAYS AND

MONDAYS

BANISHED

BY THE

GOLDEN

RADIENCE

OF

YOUR

SMILE.

TO SEEK

AND

NEVER

FIND!

YET, I AM NOT

DISCOURAGED

BY

LIFE’S

MISFOTUNATE

ACTS…

TO GAZE

UPON THE

WONDERS OF THE

WORLD,

BEWILDERED BY THE

AWESOME MAGNITUDE IT

ENCOMPASSES, WHEN

COMPARED TO

ONES SELF…

TO HAVE

SEARCHED THE

ABYSMAL DEPTHS

AND TO HAVE

SCALED THE

LOFTIEST PEAKS IN

SEARCH OF

THE TRUTH OF

MANKIND,

HIS LOST LOVE FOR

HIS WORLDLY BROTHERS!

TO KNOW AND TO HAVE BEEN

SILENT!

TO HAVE SPOKEN AND NEVER BEEN

HEARD!

TO LONGINGLY LOVE SOMEONE—

YET UNABLE TO

LOVE THE ONE

YOU LOVE.

TO BE TOGETHER WHEN APART;

IN MY SOLITUDE I FEEL

YOUR PRESENCE WITHIN ME.

TO PARTAKE OF THE MARVELS OF

LIFE: TO BE BORN; TO GROW-UP;

TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED; AND

TO ENJOY THE WARMTH OF

YOUR LOVED ONE BY

YOURSIDE FOREVER.

LOVE—A COMPELLING FORCE TOO

GREAT TO RESTRAIN. THE RADIANT

REMEMBRANCE OF

YOUR SMILE FUFILLS THE

VOID OF ETERNAL LONELINESS

I HAVE WHEN YOU ARE NOT BY

MY SIDE.

TO NEED NO ANSWERS AND TO WANT

NO QUESTIONS.

I JUST WANT TO LIE BESIDE YOU, WHEN

WE ARE TOGETHER NEVER

SPEAKING FOR WE SPEAK THE

SILENT LANGUAGE OF

LOVE.

YOUR GOLDEN SMILE IS TO

ME—WHAT MOST

PEOPLE CONSTRUE AS

THEIR PLACE IN THE

SUNSHINE OF

LIFE.

THE REASONS FOR BEING:

FINITE OR INFINITE?

THE SUN…THE MOON…THE EARTH…

AND US…. WE RECEIVE WARMTH

AND LIGHT FROM THE SUN;

ROMANCE FROM THE MOON;

SUSTENANCE FRO THE EARTH;

AND ETERNAL LOVE AND

DEVOTION FROM ONE ANOTHER.

TO ENJOY THE

GOLDEN APPLES OF

LIFE WITH YOU,

I HAVE ONLY TO

GAZE UPON

YOUR ETERNAL

SMILE AND BEAUTY.

TO KNOW—WHY!

BUT WHY DO

I KNOW?

I AM UNABLE TO

ANSWER.

YET EVEN IF

I COULD,

WHO WOULD

LISTEN TO

ME!

***********************************

TO EXIST IS: TO BE

CONCEIVED, TO BE

BORN, TO

GROW, TO

LEARN, TO

LIVE, TO

LOVE, TO

HATE, TO

ENTREAT, TO

FIGHT, AND TO

DIE.

***********************************

TO REMINISCE IS TO

RE-COLLECT—HALLOW DREAM

***********************************

TO DREAM, A DREAM IS A

FRUITLESS EFFORT TO

FULFILL ONE OF

LIFE’S

INTANGIBLE MOMENTS OR

DESIRES.

***********************************

ALL I WANT IS TO BE

HAPPY!

IS THAT SO

INTANGIBLE!

LONGINGLY

I ONLY ASK TO BE

HAPPY.

O SO VERY, VERY HAPPY WITH

YOU

MY LOVE

FOREVER.

***********************************

TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE

DREAM IS A MANIFOLD

ASSEMBLEGE OF

DESPAIRING

IMPOSSIBILITIES—QUITE

SIMILAR TO

MY LONGING TO

LOVE YOU AND BE

LOVED.

***********************************

TO SAVE SUMMER AND

NEVER KNOW

WINTER.

AND SO SPRING LIKEWISE

AUTUMN.

YET, WINTER IS A

TIME OF BEING TOGETHER

AFTER

HARVESTING THE

BOUNTY OF

AUTUMN’S

CORNUCOPIA.

***********************************

THE DAYS OF WINE AND ROSES HAVE

ALL TO OFTEN WITHERED IN THE

HOT SUMMER SUN.

***********************************

LITTLE ONE, YOU MAY NOT

UNDERSTAND WHAT SAY OR

MEAN; YET WHAT

I DO YOU SHALL.

***********************************

AND AFTER WE HAVE

KILLED THE WIND! WHAT, THEN,

SHALL WE HAVE LEFT TO ENJOY?

***********************************

TO AND FRO FLOWS THE

CEASELESS WIND RENEWING

LIFE AND BREATHING THE

BREATH OF

LIFE TO