From Dandelions to Daffodils: Chronicles of a Child with an Alcoholic Parent

By Lacey Anne Black

Chronicles of a Child of an Alcoholic Parent articulates the authors struggles through a diverse set of circumstances only to realize that physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual health and well-being can only be found in trusting the truth of Gods Word. Easy as it may be to blame everyone else for the unfair conditions that God has allowed into her life, the author converses with the reader honestly and candidly through a diary of her childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. Growing up in dysfunctional homes can make it easy to excuse the dysfunction found in our adult homes, but it is never Gods intention for our families to remain addicted to pain without hope for healing. Trust Gods leading as you read through this extraordinary journey.

In my many years spent as a mental health therapist, Ive worked extensively with fractured family systems and their members who courageously pursue recovery from emotional, physical, and psychological trauma. Trauma survivors are the most courageous people as they work through and beyond the pain and entrapment of victimization to retrieve their hearts and dreams as they embrace lives of strength, empathy, and immeasurable value. This heartfelt book is a reflection of the indomitable strength of the human spirit and power of faith.

L. K. Marshall, Mental health therapist, educator and specialist in trauma recovery

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Mar 2, 2015
• ISBN: 9781490865904

Lacey Anne Black

The author is a secondary English and reading teacher of poverty students with emotional and learning disabilities. She serves as adjunct professor and supervising teacher educating teachers on the art and skill of integrating reading and writing strategies into their classroom instruction. The author is a servant of God, wife, mother, daughter, sister, and aunt. Her determination to write this story is a testimony to her passion to help others in need.

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Copyright © 2015 Lacey Anne Black.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

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Page 95 poem from:

The Story of The Other Wise Man

Harper & Brothers Publishers

New York 1895

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6591-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6592-8 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-6590-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015900257

Print information available on the last page.

WestBow Press rev. date: 3/2/2015

CONTENTS

Preface

Open Your Heart

Dandelions Grow Anywhere

Teachers Who Teach

Trust without Borders

Summer Breezes

Mrs. Charlotte’s Fried Chicken

Comfort That Kills

A Mother’s Prayer

Becoming a Mother, Losing a Mother

Listening to the Right Voice

Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop

Nothing but Dandelions Here, Lord!

Forgiveness Doesn’t Come Easy

Transformation

The Sinkholes of Life

Band Aids Won’t Do the Job

A Heart Transplant

Payday

On the Run

Peeling Back the Onion

Pumpkin Guts

Change and Cancer Both Start with the Letter C

Stop Being a Victim

Better or Bitter

Two Letters

Two Men Converge

Dead End or New Beginning

My Calloused Feet

Reflection

Application

Resources

About the Book

To M. M. with all my heart

PREFACE

This story is written for adults with alcoholic parents or other loved ones. This story is for anyone who has lived with dysfunction for so long that it no longer seems to be abnormal. This story is for the person who once believed that the past would not influence current or future relationships—until it did!

Wrapping one’s head around God’s purpose in allowing wrongdoing to continue—especially to those who are unable to stand against the force of evil themselves—demands heart-to-heart conversation with God. I clung to God’s promises: I will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5 KJV) and For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end (Jeremiah 29:11 KJV), which later challenged me to find the courage to write this story. Can the pain of past hurts, including those done to us years ago, be part of God’s bigger picture for our lives today?

I ask myself, Can God gain glory from this story? Can other persons find hope that they are not alone in their struggle? Can belief in a sovereign God sustain the underlying doubt that God’s love for me is greater than anything I can imagine?

Oftentimes, there is a passage of Scripture that sustains me while I’m in the valley—and hopefully, while I am climbing out of the darkness. The Spirit of God has brought Job’s story to brand my soul with a burning-hot iron. Job lost his wife, his children, his financial means of support, and his health. As he sat with his so-called friends, retaining faith only the size of a mustard seed, Job clung to the only truth he knew. Job rebuked his friend Zophar with these words: True wisdom and real power belong to God; from Him we learn how to live, and also what to live for. If He tears something down, it’s down for good; if he locks people up, they’re locked up for good. If He holds back the rain, there’s a drought; if He lets it loose, there’s a flood. Strength and success belong to God; both deceived and deceiver must answer to Him … He shines a spotlight into caves of darkness, hauls deepest darkness into the noonday sun … (Job 12:13–25 MSG).

One time while vacationing in Nags Head, North Carolina, I lost my way. My family and I had hiked up the sand dunes at Jockey’s Ridge to fly kites and watch the sunset. Looking in one direction, we could see the Atlantic Ocean. The bayside was equally breathtaking with its water and marsh and its wildlife on land and in the air. As I left the ridge to make my way back home, I lost my way. I had no sense of direction, and the only thing I could see around me was sand. If I had been airlifted and dropped into the Sahara Desert, the picture would have been identical. Panic gripped me! My heart began to pound, and I no longer found the dunes to be an awesome experience. I felt alone in a dry place. Though I tried to talk myself through this horror logically, the darkness was setting in quickly, and I was lost.

Painful experiences can feel exactly like this. Hopelessness comes rushing in, and the voices inside seem so loud that we can’t find the strength to slam the door on their negative messages. Subliminally, Satan is speaking the same message to you and me that he once did to Adam and Eve. (Why change the message when it still works?) Doubt God’s goodness, Satan declares.

I speak to you through the written word, and I ask that you read these pages with an open mind. Ponder how God uses every part of our lives to grow us from dandelions, which we consider weeds, into daffodils—strong and beautiful flowers that replenish themselves year after year, no matter what the weather or circumstances. Courage and hope flow through them, even when the only thing they can do is reach for the sun. The challenge is no less for you and me. No matter what challenges face us each day, we must reach for the Son!

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Open Your Heart

GOD, my shepherd!

I don’t need a thing.

You have bedded me down in lush meadows,

you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word,

you let me catch my breath

and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through

Death Valley,

I’m not afraid

when you walk at my side.

Your trusty shepherd’s crook

makes me feel secure.

—Psalm 23:1–4 (MSG)

2

Dandelions Grow Anywhere

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.

—John 15:1 (NIV)

Miles of endless concrete slabs surrounded the neighborhood of brick row homes where I lived. They were sealed with mortar to withstand any type of disaster. Built just after WWII, the possibility of penetration supported the idea of attaching all the houses together to reinforce the initiative that we are stronger together than we are separately. This is not always so! Togetherness of this