Forever Yours

By Laurie Capen

After all of this vision had ended, God motivated me to read my Jewish Bible: "Remember in three days this temple shall be destroyed?" (Matthew 24:2)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 26, 2010
• ISBN: 9781462826629

Laurie Capen

Laurie Capen is of Jewish descent. She remains active at a local Wesleyan Church in Vermont. She continues to attend weekly worship services, and prays daily to Yeshua for guidance. Laurie shares her faith publicly through personal testimony, "clowning," and writing contests.

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Copyright © 2010 by Laurie Capen.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

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77451

Contents

Foreword

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Dedication

Forever Yours is dedicated to Shirley and Eugene Trop, my birth parents. It is dedicated to Cliston and Lorraine Randall, my adopted parents. Lastly, Forever Yours is dedicated to Robert and Esther Capen, my spiritual parents—without their undying love and believing in me, I never would have found Yeshua, Jesus!—Laurie Kay Capen

Weep No More

Weep no more my mother dear,

For I have found my place;

It is in His sweet love and grace!

At last I shall see Him face to face,

The one who died for me!

So please don’t weep my mother dear.

—Laurie Capen

Foreword

The birth of this book came about by a powerful move of God’s Holy Spirit upon Laurie Capen’s life while confined to a hospital bed. While hooked up to a medical I.V., she penned her thoughts in a large wire bound notebook. She describes her writing experience as one by which God took hold of her hand and moved it because she had little strength of her own at the time. The notebook was filled entirely in a matter of twelve days; however, it took 21 years previously of God’s grace and mercy through life’s difficult challenges to give it its special and unique content. The script over time has been rewritten three times.

The editing of this book has required much patience on Laurie’s part; nevertheless, her perseverance in excess of several years has brought the fruit of her labors to completion. In attempt to do my best as a first time book editor, countless questions had to be asked in order to carefully arrange the many details of each adventure. Much attention was given to keep the words and wording Laurie’s.

The accounts of Laurie’s journey through life are truly a one of a kind. The capturing and reliving the past was done triumphantly, but it surely stirred many heartfelt emotions. Laurie continues to pray daily for guidance, attends worship services and activities at her local Church. She remains active in sharing her faith publicly through personal testimony, clowning, and writing contests. May your own faith in Christ Jesus, Yeshua, grow stronger as a result of having read Forever Yours. Know that He remains true in His unfailing love for all people.—Thomas Millington, Editor

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Laurie Kay’s nickname was Dawn given by Esther Capen

77451-MILL-layout.pdf And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

—Romans 8:18 NIV

Chapter 1

Seven-Eleven

77451-MILL-layout.pdf For you fashioned my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I thank you because I am awesomely made, wonderfully: your works are wonders—I know this very well.

—Psalm 139:13, 14 Jewish Bible; David H. Stern

The year is 1950 and its December 10th. Wow! Guess what? Mom is having another baby—yes, it’s a girl. This makes three so far. How many more babies is mom going to have anyway? Only God knew. God knew beforehand what was going to happen to child number three. It was I, Laurie, who became that number three. In the end, mom had five girls and two boys. This was surely a lot of mouths to feed!

Troubles came. My dear mother couldn’t manage so well—my father had to leave work, and then welfare came into our lives. I have mixed feelings about the welfare system. They split up all seven children. We were scattered all over the state of New York. I quickly felt like Nobody’s child—nobody loves me or even wants me. My endless search for love has begun!

I left my home at eighteen months old. I would never hear my mother’s voice again! I would never again feel my mother’s arms around me or have a good-night kiss. Never again! How traumatic this became to me through my growing up years.

With no stability, I moved from home to home. I felt like the worth of a 100 lb. bag of potatoes because nobody really wanted me. I was discarded, just given up to someone else time after time. Where are you God? I would think in my young mind. My spirit would respond saying, "Don’t tell me you love me! I’m Jewish!

Throughout my young days of childhood, God was watching over me, but back then I couldn’t see it. Yes, I had two eyes with pupil, and cornea, and retina—yet I was still blind.

There is a gulf between me and the rest of the Trop family—Where are they all anyway? How do I find my roots? This endless search became a priority in my confused life. Where did everyone go anyway? Where are you mom? Where are you dad? Why did you give me up?

Throughout my endless search for my family, God was still in control, watching over Jeanie Shirley Trop.

On one particular Sunday, I started going to church at Watervliet Wesleyan Church in Watervliet, New York. I was living in a preacher’s home—Why did this family want me?—They had several children of their own and already had one foster child, yet this was part of God’s plan. I wouldn’t know until many years later why this was supposed to be.

This family was so kind to me. I had plenty to eat, a nice bed to sleep in, yet this wouldn’t last forever—Again the big black car would come, I and my Raggedy Ann doll would hit the road again. I felt like Nobody’s Child. What did I do wrong? I thought they loved me, and I could stay—Not so!

Rejection is the biggest part of my broken heart—Nobody can answer the big question why? Why? Why?

Chapter 2

Out of Egypt

77451-MILL-layout.pdf No, I will not abandon you or leave you as orphans in the storm—I will come to you.

—John 14:18 NLB

Hey! Where are you going in such a hurry you little Jew?

The Israelites wandered around in the wilderness when it wasn’t necessary. Did you know that? Well, now let me say I’m very thick-headed and stubborn, almost bull-headed. I found myself wandering for 40 years, but now, thank the Lord, I finally got smart. I stopped the wilderness wandering.

If you stay with me and continue reading my story I will tell you how a Polish Jewish girl like me got out of the desert. Are you curious enough to continue? Read on!

I was only 18 months old when my Momma and Poppa decided I needed to go into foster care. Now mind you, I’m the third oldest child out of seven kids.

My journey began with my first foster home. I took up painting one day; I wanted a challenge. I found a red can of paint just lying there waiting for me to use my talent. As I proceeded to paint I smeared it everywhere; every nook and cranny I could find in this nice foster home.

Then it was fireworks! Can you imagine? It wasn’t even Fourth of July! Like a cannonball came the words, I don’t want you! The case worker came, and my dolly and I hit the road like bums. No one loves me and no one wants me. This became much of my life’s wandering journey. No one wants a little Polish Jew around: I can’t be bothered. I have my own family. Too many mouths to feed. I sure don’t need another one to take on. And, Oh, she’s odd-acting too. The only oddity in my little life was lack of love. I would cry myself to sleep hugging my Raggedy Ann doll and kissing her numerous times.

But yet, there seemed to be a fight—no, I mean a battle going on inside of me. No one cares, no one loves me; no one in this wide awesome world we live in. As the years flew by I could remember only sad memories—no I mean that were buried and burned in my mind never to be erased, or so I thought. I could keep remembering them over and over again. I would realize and relive each sad experience. I would never forget this awful pain. It was a part of my life now. I loved pain, I hated everyone and yes, I even loved that so-called Gentile God out there.

Guess what? At age 3, another foster home took me in. This couple, now get this, I am Jewish and they are a Wesleyan Pastor and his wife who had kids of their own and they wanted to take me in. Why? It sounds so crazy but it’s all so true. This is the first time I really felt like someone cared about me. Yeah, and they might even love me with my dark hair. Maybe, just maybe, I won’t have to move again.

It was not to be. In time, that big old black car came to take me away. My dolly and I