Articles of a Witch Goddess

By T.J. Phull

Author T. J. Phull brings to us a captivating story of grief, sorrow, and renewal of faith. A bitter woman consumed in hate and bitterness lives her life in strife, never allowing love to enter her life, submerged in self-pity. All changes when finally she meets a man named Shiva who opens her mind, spirit, and body to all possibilities and growth. As love grows within herself, she begins to see life in a different view and learns to let go the horrible past that haunted her, living her life with faith and love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781493160532

T.J. Phull

TJ Phull, author of Bedelia, has previously written Articles of a Witch Goddess. Phull is a mother of five. Her studies are in business, social anthropology, and psychology. For her, writing had always been a dream that has just now been realized. Finally, her dream of being like her renowned relative, the writer Zora Neal Hurston, has become reality.

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Copyright © 2014 by T. J. Phull.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Rev. date: 01/08/2014

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Contents

Introduction

Thanks

Deep

Innocence

Articles

Hell Found Me

Articles II

Love Everlasting

Article 2 Religion

Shadows

Article 2 Part II Religion

Echoing

Articles

Suffocate

Article 3

My Soul

Articles

Candlelight

Articles

Fest

Prince

Bad Boys

Intermission

Haters

Wait for That Day

My Body Shakes

Epilogue

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Introduction

Conversation between

the Goddess and the Devil

Love Poems Written by

Jaspreet Signh (Devil) to T. J. and T. J. Phull to Jaspreet

(Edited and Rewritten into a Story by T. J. Phull)

As the goddess was thrown from the heavens, she grasped at her own shadow. Shadows were filled with void, emptiness, loneliness, and betrayal. Torn from her lover’s hands, upon the earth she did land. There were horrid echoes of memories feared as she heard his words so clear. Lucky is he, but she was not; echoes of his words did haunt. Falling face-first on earth’s sand, there she barely could raise her hand. Looking up and around at stones, there she found herself alone. Forgotten and alone did pain, so there her soul remained. As the winds blew her name, she remembered her lover did the same. No one was there to utter her name. She’s punished and took the blame, never hearing the confirmation of love anymore. Only the words I feel sorry for you did soar. Lying upon the ground in shame, feeling her soul ablaze and lost among the olden days, she looked around without a sound and laid her head down to remove her crown. A fallen star once revered found out that no one cared. Her tears filled the earth with waters so great. That one move made the earth quake. The trembles of her heartbeat stopped but also made the lands do part, sliding across new mountaintops. There fell her tears nonstop, as cold and icy as she felt. It was thought this ice shall never melt. Opening her eyes made things go bright; closed tear-filled eyes brought day to night. Her moans and cries brought thunder to the skies as she remembered all the lies. Grief and sorrow brought despair as a stranger did appear. The appearance of her once lover made her sit up and wonder. Approach he did, then he had said, "How is it that my mind had been read? For one day I have said, ‘Give me a goddess here to stay. I will worship her in every way.’"

Goddess:

I am a fallen woman

scratching the ground

at her own shadow;

for there is no one else there or here!

Who can ever wipe away my tears!

Devil:

I am here!

Not turned but burned

by your illuminating light,

which is bright!

I close my eyes,

standing I don’t turn!

Clinching to this dream,

let myself burn!

Goddess:

Who art thee?

Flee and let me be!

Drenched in tears,

I thought I made myself clear.

Bonded by my fears,

love again I not dare.

Go, love them all,

for that’s a flaw.

I will not endure

the lure

of another’s heart.

For mine has not part

from past lover’s glare

does my heart still bare.

Devil:

Nay!

Nay, I say!

Here is me!

I cannot let you be!

I was searching and I searched,

Then found the path which lay unearthed!

I stumbled upon a soul.

I saw and I gazed,

perplexed and dazed.

Bond was her name;

to be inevitable, her aim!

Shrieks I did hear,

those which I feared!

I am still standing.

Standing I am!

This strength in my heart

came a feeling from start;

nay, nay, I won’t part!

You, my love,

know the wonderfully satisfying art

of healing!

Don’t dwell in the past,

for it is gone!

Future, I don’t heed;

present is a gift to me

because it is you I now see!

So embrace it,

embrace it indeed;

but don’t ask me to flee!

I am sure,

unfazed I am.

That I will stand

and demand

on your heart!

To start, to flow freely,

like your tears that have made the sea,

they shall never be apart;

nor shall we!

Goddess:

Past is with me all the time.

I gave and gave my love,

my body, and my mind.

All that was told,

lies, lies, and more lies!

But all that was wanted was my time.

Love was easily told,

easily spoken,

used as a token.

A goddess was broken!

To flirt and divert

a feeling of manlyhood,

godlyhood!

Is this understood!

He did feel,

but once it was felt,

a punishment was dealt!

To me!

Can’t you see?

So I fled!

Far away from the pain.

Fell from heaven’s domain.

Hiding in shame,

love did not remain.

So I lay lame,

No one else to blame!

But myself.

I have never felt

such disdain.

Then you came,

trying to take away the pain,

rubbing away the shame.

Words so sweet,

so fully I eat.

Confused my mind,

thoughts fly blind.

I find my words;

once again I twirl.

Love you speak,

my eyes do leak.

Scared to death.

This is another test;

my mind won’t rest.

I know,

I could not have been your best!

Does she nest

there

within your chest?

A filled-up heart

would not be smart.

For if you once loved,

and I once loved,

they shall play their part.

But through all the promise of hope,

I do see…

You’ll find your true love,

who will reside in thee.

But that true love,

it surely isn’t me!

Devil:

Our past is always with us no matter what!

If it’s bad, it haunts!

If good, it taunts!

Blame thyself?

It’s not what was desired.

Self-love to awaken is what is required.

Wake up, now!

Wake up, my love.

Push away the pain which you suffer;

believe what I say, for you to be my lover.

Anyone will be luckiest,

will put himself to test.

So don’t heed to what has gone!

Feel no disdain

or feel no pain.

So stand up and come aboard!

For yours I am,

and I am yours.

Goddess:

Yours I am;

I am yours.

In my plight,

you delight.

Easily used,

easily confused.

Gaming,

framing…

Words so daring

to speak,

to seek.

Emotions of caring.

Who says you don’t

hurt

or devert.

Cast the blame,

not my shame.

Situations remain the same.

Sorry for that;

that is fact.

I brought light?

Right is might!

Focus, focus,

no hocus-pocus.

Worry not on me

or my path that used to be.

Just let what be, be;

you are not the key.

I am blessed.

You know the rest.

Now I shut the door

and I finish my quest . . .

Go away,

I have fallen;

and here I shall remain!

Devil:

OK!

When fallen,

think about me.

’Cause when I have fallen,

I think about thee.

The question remains,

to be or not to be.

When will

blocked thoughts be free?

Harvesting a chocked tree

is not always the best thing to see.

So understand,

my love doesn’t flee.

Unless…

you rather

not hear my plea!

Goddess:

If I think of thee,

I think of he.

So go… go now,

let me be!

For if,

you don’t,

my mind,

will never be free.

You will always be

with me;

and so will he!

One day

I will fall

from that harvest tree!

Finding feelings

of flying and glee.

Once again,

to fall to the ground.

Scratching again

at my shadow;

Once found!

There I’ll be,

once again bound!

To be alone,

with just me.

That’s the reason

I flee

from your plea.

Not because

I don’t want a new start!

But because

I know the pain.

And I know what’s

hidden in my heart…

Devil:

The tree of love,

which we harvest,

knows for us what is best!

It will never, ever let you fall.

In fact, it will ensure you to be as tall!

As the bedazzling dream you see,

that I am with you,

and you are with me.

So let me share that pain you bear,

and know that I am forever here!

Goddess:

Fine!

Then hold me close,

but never boast;

just show what you can do the most!

I let go… let go.

Show me the seeds that you can sow!

For all the pain, hurt, and neglect,

I place my arms around your neck!

I trust you for this day with my soul,

for now until days of old

will be my goal!

I am yours now to bear,

for now there shall be no more tears.

As long as you are near,

I will overcome these fears!

I lay my heart upon your chest.

I lay my head there to make a nest;

and there it shall forever rest.

Devil:

But?

Beloved queen of the hearts!

You sing again,

but I am sad, as my love

talks about pain.

Let go these throne branches!

I dare!

So when I catch you,

You will know I care!

I catch you.

Holding you, I breathe.

My arms are satisfied

as they wreathe

around your neck and heart.

You, my love, know the art

of making me

fall in love with you.

I say but only what I feel is true!

I stare, I stare

on your beautiful face.

As you look at mine,

I lose all time.

Your lips are red,

hairs like golden wine;

they shine.

I gasp, I gasp,

rendered breathless.

You look immensely beautiful, my love,

as an angel which has mercy

that has arrived from up above.

I die, I die,

watching you blink

your mysterious eyes!

Smile on your lips,

there it lies!

Engrossing in my heart,

cries!

I am relieved, relieved,

to have what I wanted.

Forever and ever,

let me live like this!

Or may these forbidden nostrils never breathe!

Goddess:

So then,

no more words to say.

You take my breath away,

so take my soul away.

For I am here to stay,

no more games to play.

For what comes may,

I am yours today.

I am

yours today!

But wait,

you are very deep.

To peer into your mind

would be a joy of mine.

So let me know

who I’ll find!

Devil:

Peek into my heart, not my mind,

for then you will know who I am.

You will see many misled journeys

and severed thoughts in a jam.

Since I am a mere worm

who believes in destiny to be inevitably true.

For destiny made me meet everyone,

my desires, thoughts, and you!

Goddess:

Gasp,

speechless and breathless

at the same time.

Sitting in a dream state,

wondering even if I believe in fate!

But you left me no choice

but to contemplate.

That this time, although destiny is not always true,

somehow it leads me straight to you!

Devil:

Wake up from the dream which you see,

or do you wish to see?

Be the one you wish,

or do you wish others to be?

I have a submissive passion

revolving around the love of soul.

To be in contact of you,

destiny has played its role.

I believe in what you say,

my dear!

No need to contemplate,

for as I said,

I to believe in fate.

Having any doubts in presence of supreme,

you should abate!

For you have been blessed by the power

to be a lord!

Grounded to the womb

by the impeccable devotion chord.

See that you do cut it, but only

when you are ready to be free

as the worm under the power’s feet.

I am blessed to have thee!

Goddess:

Wake up!

In my dreams is where I wish to be.

That’s the only place I can truly be me.

Only true love can ever set me free.

If I can’t have that, let the world let me be;

for then I will stay in dreamland and flee!

To those arms

to wrap around me!

You are welcomed to walk beside me

if you think you hold the keys!

For in my heart,

it forever bleeds.

But in my dreams,

I can always be.

Always be

with thee!

Because in my dreams,

you can set me free.

Devil:

It’s not me who will be

the reason of your freedom,

but you, my dear!

You yourself have broken the chains of pains

which were not letting you steer,

stopping your feet in the dry sand?

Even now when the fruits of love were near!

It has got nothing to do with me,

but everything to do

with letting go the fear!

Which you had in your heart

and of your mind to dishonestly hear.

But instead to hear

the sound of the power,

which was blessed on you to be a seer?

Now come, my friend,

put an end

to this lament, doubt, and cheer,

for you are a goddess,

an angel disguised

and called a witch,

understand this in clear.

Goddess:

I have no fear,

not the way

you think, dear!

And I ain’t no seer!

Thanks for the taste of fate,

but it’s way too late.

Here, let me help you illustrate.

I have enough on my plate!

So I will never hesitate to lay things straight!

Neither fruits of love nor tears shall I bear,

nor am I blessed to be a seer!

Just a fallen goddess

who has lost her glare!

So, yes, my friend, do not fear,

nor will I doubt nor shall I cheer!

Angels don’t say the things I do;

surely you know this to be true!

So understanding and bringing clear

will be my freedom, dear.

Nor another day shall I shed a tear,

for me, my destiny and path is near.

I hope that path

is the path you clear?

Devil:

Amen for the blessings, amen, for that is what I say;

with folded hands and honest heart I pray,

for your destiny to clear and the fog to leave and blow away;

a night of hanging out with you is better than any day or two.

You are gonna come victorious, come what may.

Enemies will taste the bitter loss and touch the hay,

for you have bigger part in my destiny to play.

You have been blessed to your loved ones as a silver ray,

ray of hope, love, and inspiration which does not stray.

Opposite of what’s not good for you, you move away.

Feeling blessed by the faith which in your heart you display,

and the inevitable powers are still within you this day.

All shall call you Kali, Durga, even Venus, I say!

And in one single breath they will all pray.

So when you say you don’t have fear, ensure you don’t affray.

The path you have chosen is forever here to stay.

So never ever, ever feel yourself to be manqué

since I consider you as a beautiful bouquet.

So forget the past, don’t stress on present day.

For the future day is on its way…

Goddess:

Hahahahaha!

Victorious, you say!

Would love to see that day!

Every day is just play, play.

All they want is to throw my body

on a pile of hay!

Bitter taste!

Battles fought and lost

remain up in my thoughts.

Chosen who?

I’m just a fool!

Served bitter lies.

I tried, tried, tried!

Chosen path filled with cries,

although a Kali future I won’t deny.

Feeling blessed,

bouquet of stress.

I passed the test.

Now all remains is the best!

A day with you,

forever true!

Display of faith,

I was thrown from heaven’s gate!

Heart placed on tray

forever here to stay?

Present the future on its way

that I may never move or stray!

Ray of hope!

Inspiration of love

just don’t come from above!

So then join me on my path each day.

Never once a game you’ll play!

Beautiful words spoken,

I’ll take this as a token!

You’ve cleared the fear that stained my way.

Now all I see are brighter days!

Now all I see are brighter

days!

Devil:

Don’t worry much about the losses you suffered.

How much did you abandon and what ground you covered?

Do not, my love, do not, for then you forget the important.

You have to realize that all the losses made you win permanently

to see clearly that after the losses you are still standing your ground,

ready to fight again to make them realize what goes around comes around.

I am flabbergasted to see someone so beautiful yet grounded as you.

To have such feeling is a blessing for the faith of lord which is true.

You have passed the deceitful boulevard of broken dreams

and came out exhausted yet forcefully benevolent, it seems.

So you say the first eyesight you have now is clear.

Your path, your destiny is now near.

I am blessed to have you with me, my love.

You will be the earth and I the sun above.

To tell you truth who I be, when you opened your eye,

I was that first light you released, the image of him you set free.

We are connected to the god, and still you are the goddess, a star.

Love every moment, every second with love.

I had never thought,

for once, that something which I have been blessed is mine forever…

For you’ll become the earth and I shall be the sun.

And together we shall remain forever!

So the goddess of earth let go of her past and finally found true love at last. For that first sight, first light became her lover throughout the night. She circled him night and day. Never once did he fly away. He kept his promise, for every time she opened her eyes, he did shine. And all she could say each time is that He is truly mine. And this remained till end of time.

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Thanks

I want to give thanks to the goddess Azna; my mom, Millie;

my sister and my brother, Ava and Terry;

my kids for aggravating me into wanting to give them a better life;

my good friend and awesome painter Carlos Castro;

my love, my heart, and my spiritual husband,

Jagjit;

and

last but never least,

my soul mate and poet Jaspreet Singh

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Deep

Deep, hot, spicy lust.

Sexy lover left in dust.

Sin, grin, learn nothing.

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Carlos Castro

Articles

Pleasure’s what I am feeling; it’s unbelievable. I can’t stop shaking from the inside out. My whole body is trembling, vibrating with the slightest touch. I am having hot flashes, and I feel as if I am going to pass out. Shaking and feverish, I feel dizzy; I have lost time. I feel my toes tingling. Oh god, how can one feel this way. If he stops before I reach completion, I will be really pissed off. Deeper I whisper so no one else can hear our secrets. Pressing closely our bodies. What usually seem small fits well like the motion of the ocean. I believe that’s the saying. I can’t feel my legs; I can’t feel my body; all I feel are trembles and shakes. Damn, so much work, like a dance but with one person with a limp or broken toe.

I pulled him, tugging him closer. He fits like a bee sucking nectar from a flower, searching deeper, as deep within the flower, until the juices flow. I am surprised that I am not that pretty flower he so deeply searched, but discover instead I am a hungry tiger clawing for her last meal. Still he dives deeper, searching, trying to produce more of the sweet, sticky honey for his gratification. Like a Venus flytrap, trapping him between and within my flowery lips, sucking every ounce of fluids from his body! As he had wished to do to me. Moaning in delight and feeling victorious, I release his drained, dead body and allow it to lie where it falls.

Lying stiff in