The Sunflower Killer: A Book About Forgiveness

By Deborah Bellinger

This book is about a little girl who grew up knowing too much about pain. One day as an adult, all the pain came rushing to the surface, and she knew she had to find help. This is the story of her journey and how she learned that forgiveness is healing. The book is a series of letters written to you, the reader, making it easy to read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Nov 18, 2015
• ISBN: 9781512715606

Deborah Bellinger

I was sitting in church one day, and during the invitation God clearly told me to do three things. He told me to go into ministry work with children and to write a book. I was so surprised by all this I did not even argue. I just told God okay. I immediately studied to be a lay speaker at our church, started working in the Epiphany ministries earnestly (a three-day weekend to show God’s love to teenagers in the juvenile correctional centers), and proceeded to write a book. I consulted with God often throughout this book to ensure it was what He wanted said. I was always told God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called. I recently took a course to become my husband’s care partner so he can do home hemodialysis. God carried me through my aversion to needles and blood. This gives my husband a better quality of life and makes it easier for him to be a pastor of a church. We live in the country with some senior rescue dogs, and in my free time I like to crochet, sew, quilt, and make jewelry. At this writing my husband and I have seven children and thirteen grandchildren.

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Copyright © 2015 Deborah Bellinger.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

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ISBN: 978-1-5127-1559-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1561-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-5127-1560-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015916683

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/17/2015

This book is dedicated to all who think they are alone.

Dear Reader,

This is a

story of a little girl. A real person. A real life. It is a part of her life that taught her she is stronger than she ever thought, and a time that she learned forgiveness is powerful. A time in her life she has chosen to turn a negative into a positive. Why would she share her story? Certainly not for herself. She just wants to help others who have been where she has been so that she can help them turn a negative into a positive.

Who is Emily? Someone I know well---a friend and a confidante. She trusted me with her story. I will not betray her by revealing her true identity. She would never want her family to be embarrassed by this story.

I am changing the names and identifying facts in this story. I am not going to say what part of the country this happened in. I am changing the parents' identities. I am changing the house where she grew up. Why? She does not want that to be the important part of the story---understanding the importance of forgiveness and learning to forgive is the important part.

She gives God all the credit for all the good in her life.

She thanks God for being with her during this time and leading her to a wonderful Christian therapist who understood exactly what she needed. She did not know what she needed at that time, but God knew. She needed to understand forgiveness.

There are others in the world who have experienced what she did. Too many others. Many feel they are alone and that they are the only ones with this experience. Emily's hope and prayer is that this book helps others to not feel alone and to learn to forgive.

I will write this book in letter form, because I believe the topic is very personal and letters reflect that. I want this book to be especially for you. If just one person is helped, I feel it is worth the time and effort.

Thank you for reading Emily's story.

Debbie

Dear Reader,

There is a person I would like to tell you about. She is a real person who has lived a real life, but I will not tell you her actual name. Let me give her a different name. How about Emily? Emily is one of my favorite names of all times. This book is for all people. Sadly, it is not a unique story. It happens much too often. Emily knows this now. She did not know it then, when it was happening. She always felt very alone---isolated. I know there are others who have been hurt like Emily has been, others who have experienced just what Emily did. I feel it is important that you know her story. I do not want you to feel alone like she did. Emily doesn't want you to feel alone either.

Emily loved her mother with all her heart. The one thing Emily knew in her life as she was growing up was that her mother loved her. Her mother sounded great. She devoted herself to her children; in turn, everyone loved her. Her mother loved people greatly and had no patience for anyone who would not stand up for his or her own child.

Emily talked about having a wonderful life as a child, even though she only remembers her mother loving her. She said her father loved himself so much that he couldn't find it in his heart to love anyone else, and her older sisters just thought of her as a pesky little sister---as older sisters normally do. Emily told me she worked very hard to keep a secret until she was in her forties. No one knew the secret because she did such a good job keeping it.

Let me tell you a little about Emily. She lived in