The Blues

By Xlibris US

"Back in the innocent days of the 1970s, John McDermott was a terrific basketball player from Monmouth County, NJ; a sweet stroking lefty who played at a high level at Raritan HS and Brookdale Community College with savvy and ease that matched his friendly, easy going nature. Until I read his book, however, I was not aware of the depths of his alcohol and drug addictions or his numerous medical issues. McDermott's autobiography, A Legend in His Own Mind, is an extraordinary confessional that makes Keith Richards' life (as told in his great 2010 bio, A Life), look mild by comparison. McDermott hasn't has an easy day since he was 19, yet on nearly every page he expresses his love and gratitude for his family and friends, and his enduring connection to basketball. This is a tale worth reading."

________________________________________ "4.0 out of 5 stars Story from the heart"

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"In his book, John was able to recall his life through the experiences and relationships established through his journey back from addiction. An effective story that helped John reach his goals and begin a new life. Well written I thought, and the stories brought vivid images back to me having grown up in Hazlet in the same time period and knowing John as an athlete of the highest level in Raritan High School sports."

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"5.0 out of 5 stars. Just like making a bank shot at Leocadia court."

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"I find it remarkable that John could remember all the characters that pass through his life while he was slipping in and out of substance abuse. I hope and pray John stays clean and continues to be a great role model."

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"I am only half way through the book and cannot put it down. I graduated with John but, never knew him. He made me aware of a subculture in my town that I never knew existed. John provides play by play in many of the games he played in and tells his story well. An amazing journey. Keep the faith....5.0 out of 5 stars."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 17, 2014
• ISBN: 9781499082449

Book preview

Copyright © 2014 by John McDermott.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2014918375

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4990-8245-6

                 Softcover      978-1-4990-8246-3

                 eBook             978-1-4990-8244-9

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 10/16/2014

Xlibris LLC

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

540811

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1- THE QUESTION ON THE BEACH

CHAPTER 2- A LITTLE MORE MORPHIN PLEASE!

CHAPTER 3- D.U.I.

CHAPTER 4- SECOND HEART ATTACK

CHAPTER 5- 3RD ATTACK

CHAPTER 6- ALL PAIN AND NO RELIEF

CHAPTER 7- I’LL DRIVE

CHAPTER 8- GETTING HOOKED

CHAPTER 9- ANONIMITY-BULL

CHAPTER 10- TWO CLASSES

CHAPTER 11- OPERATION DAY

CHAPTER 12- COLD TURKEY

CHAPTER 13- VERTIGO

CHAPTER 14- SLAVE

CHAPTER 15- LOOK AT THE VIEW

CHAPTER 16- 2010

CHAPTER 17- DR. A

CHAPTER 18- KAREN N’S STORY

CAPTER 19- YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!

CHAPTER 20- LET’S GET TO THE E.R.

CHAPTER 21- HELLO JAHN

CHAPTER 22- REPEAT PERFORMANCE

CHAPTER 23- HERE WE GO AGAIN

CHAPTER 24- AN ICON OF NEW JERSEY

CHAPTER 25- WHAT ARE THE BLUE’S

CHAPTER 26- THE INTERVENTION

CHAPTER 27- OCTOBER 4TH, 2010: THE DEFINING MOMENT

CHAPTER 28- NIGHTMARE AT BROOKDALE

CHAPTER 29- 1 YEAR COIN….AGAIN

CHAPTER 30- 55 AND SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!

CHAPTER 31- 2012 HAPPY NEW YEAR

CHAPTER 32- MOVING AGAIN?

CHAPTER 33-MY HIGHER POWER

CHAPTER 34- ONE HEART

CHAPTER 35- 19 DAYS

CHAPTER 36- 2 YEARS

CHAPTER 37- THE NEW LOVE OF MY LIFE

CHAPTER 38- KEEP IT GREEN

CHAPTER 39- HEROIN CHEAPER THAN OXY!

CHAPTER 40- THE GARDEN

CHAPTER 41- THE HISTORY OF SUBOXONE

CHAPTER 42- BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS!

CHAPTER 43- SOFTBALL

CHAPTER 44- 3 YEARS

CHAPTER 45- LITTLE MAC IS 1

CHAPTER 46- MOVING FOR THE 18TH TIME

CHAPTER 47- RARITAN H.S. 40TH CLASS REUNION

CHAPTER 48- 1ST 8TH GRADE REUNION

CHAPTER 49- I CAN HELP

CHAPTER 50- WE SERVE- THE LIONS CLUB

CHAPTER 51- THE BEACH

CHAPTER 52- EASY DOES IT!

CHAPTER 53- PEOPLE, PLACES AND THINGS

CHAPTER 54- THE ENABLER

CHAPTER 55- MY DREAM TEAM IN RECOVERY

CHAPTER 56- THE DIRTY DOZEN

CHAPTER 57- TRUE FRIENDS

CHAPTER 58- HISTORY OF OPIUM

CHAPTER 59- LONELINESS

CHAPTER 60- 4 YEARS SOBER

CHAPTER 61- GETTING OUT OF DODGE

CHAPTER 62- WHEN YOU FEEL HOPELESS – PRAY

CHAPTER 63- THE END

EPILOGUE

FOREWORD

Hi John,

Congratulations!

Your family must be very proud of you-I know I am, and I only know you for a short time.

To reveal so much and expanse your trials and success says a lot for you as a person:

Keep up the good work and write some more, you’re a natural born writer!

Charlotte

INTRODUCTION

Today as I sit in Best Buy ready to start my third book I am having a panic attack learning the new technology with this sweet girl Clarisse. She is being very patient with me but I am not leaving until I learn a little more.

I’m parked and just took a Suboxone to calm my nerves as I get ready to go to church with mom. This book named the Blues after the 30 milligram pill which some call Roxy, others oxy, but whatever it is the new killer of the 21st century.

I will start at the beginning of the century and go right through the first decade of death. I’m alive because of the withdrawal medication, Suboxone, after numerous battles to stop using my lover, that blue pill, and failing. In addition to the medicine, I eat healthy, exercise regularly & purchased my puppy, little Mac, a mini dachshund. Little Mac is almost 2 years old and lives with me during the week. On the weekends little mac goes to my daughter’s house to get spoiled. There is no denying that the addition of mac has tightened our family, to the point that we spend holidays and some others days having a meal together. But before I can show you some love, let me educate you on the monster of addiction and how it destroys families and friendships.

This book is dedicated to all the families afflicted buy this killer. I started the century with about a dozen friends and over this decade I lost almost all to addiction. A couple others died of old age or of another disease. As today as I walk mac over to my only friend Don, who is 74, we remember and converse about everything in this crazy world.

Lastly the goal of this book is first to keeping me from going crazy, but most important to help all you addicts and your family realize through my story that if I can do it so could you. So hold on and buckle up for the roller coaster ride of your life.

Because this book is on a subject of a drug that when used illegally the people in this book will have pseudonyms to protect their anonymity and keep some away from the eye of the law. This will also keep me from any lawsuits. Your first lesson is that the blues street value is at about $20 bucks a pill in the year 2000 and you can get a bag of heroin, which will get you higher for $7 bucks a bag. At the stage of the start of this book I am a 44 year old married man living in Middletown N.J. with my wife of 21 years. We have three great kids, Anne 20, Valerie 18 and Tommy 16, all good students and excellent Athlete’s. The great thing was how close the three of them were. Also at this point in my life I not only never took an Oxy, but didn’t know it was even a narcotic used to kill pain after operations. My first operation came in 1975 when at 19 I had a cyst removed from an overlarge testical. I was said to have brass balls but never one as large as a softball. I remember the pain when I had awoken and the nurse asked me to roll over and gave me a needle filled with morphine, a liquid in the Opioid family. Within minutes I felt this warm soothing sensation crawl all over my body and the pain was gone and I was so happy. In a couple hours we repeat the shot and before you know it I’m buzzing the nurse, doing my best acting of a patient in pain. It would be another27 years before I felt that sweet feeling again.

This book is also for guys and girls in my shoes who after a dinner with maybe a group of family members or friends say goodnight I’m going home. Through this book I have a roof over my head, but my behavior has put a sentence on a home with family. You, who have always had a family to go home to are the luckiest people in the world. The one thing in the world I feared was losing them. You who it has happened to, I empathize with you. What is our sentence? 12 years and counting and at the end of this month. It could be life. I’m a chicken and hoping the tick takes the rap. The best time in my life wasn’t playing basketball.

I’m sick again with Lyme’s disease as I write this book. My Therapist has put me back on weekly sessions after almost 4 years because the bacterial serum which was dormant for about 6 years has hit my brain again. You will get a double education on addiction and Lyme’s disease with all the places it hurts your body and brain. We hid this from our children, but now that there in there 30’s it’s time to let it out. If you have young children, meaning 12 and under keep them from this book, but you better read it!

There is no easy way to tell this story, but if I just throw it away like so many have, then how are we going to learn. I’m not a happy person and want to be. It’s been 21 years of living in hell and I can’t take it no more! GOD BLESS YOU!

CHAPTER 1- THE QUESTION ON THE BEACH

In the summer of 1993 I came down with a 105 degree fever, which lasted a week. I thought I was going to die, I got so weak. Also about a month latter two strange things happened. First was serious, I ran a red light, not realizing until I was through it. Then after taking a shower I stood looking in the mirror noticing how good looking I was. No, only kidding with the second one. I didn’t remember if I washed my hair or not. So, I said to myself, that’s right I’m talking to myself now. Didn’t seem like too big a deal because of all the binge drinking I did back in the 70’s, its finally catching up with me.

Then in the spring of 94 I got arthritis in my hands and they got so weak I could hardly turn the key in my car. The final straw was on a Thursday night that month, I became really nervous while at Junior baseball practice in River Plaza and when I got home and told my wife she suggested I go right to the doctor’s. I agreed and after Dr. Garrutto examined me he said you have Lyme disease and I’m sending you to the best doctor in the field, Angelo Scotti, whose office is in Little Silver. Before I left the office I asked Dr. Garrutto how much time I had to live. He got loud with me and said I was crazy, which is the main mental symptom of the disease. He did say I would live as he gave me Scotti’s phone number. Next morning I called Scotti’s office about 5 times before a nurse answered and had me hold for another 5 minutes. By this time you think I was Ralph Cramdine from one of the Honeymooner episodes going hamana, hamana, hamana. She finally came back on and gave me the next available appointment, which was a month later.

That was the longest month of my life as the disease was in my brain and I could not eat, sleep, read or concentrate. Not even on the March Madness Basketball Tournament!! This turned my house upside down because Renee had to take over. I was useless. I tried to play catch with Tommy or shoot hoops with the girls, but it was if I was having a nervous breakdown. I had the jelly legs for hours at a time and when we sat down for one of Mom’s Sunday dinners I would just sit their pushing it around on the plate. And the thing is there was no better a cook then Mom, and she would usually make a fat face at me as I went for thirds.

The worst was work. It would take every bit of energy to finish my job. In the past I could do it in my sleep!

At this time there was also the AIDS epidemic going on around the world. Rumors had started that AIDS was in Keansburg, the town next to where I grew up and minutes from where I was. Although I kept it from everyone, I was paranoid and thought I had AIDS. Which was fine until I thought that I must have given it to the wife and that the kids had it too! It is safe to say I was a basket-case when I finally walked in to see my savior, Dr. Angelo Scotti, who I would later nickname The MEDICINE MAN. I lied to him when he asked questions because I didn’t want him to know I was a deviant with AIDS. All I had to do was take a blood test, but I was too chicken. I would be positive and then have to commit suicide.

In the end, I didn’t need that blood test because I didn’t have AIDS. I had something else. Something I’ve heard of but was not familiar with. I had Lyme’s disease.

When the good doctor asked how depressed and suicidal I was, both answers were off the chart and he subscribed me 100 milligrams of Zoloft, similar to Prozac, which they gave woman. The only bad thing the doctor said was that it takes about a month to kick in. I should have got a speeding ticket for how fast I was driving to the Suburban Pharmacy on Route 35 in Middletown. I bought a bottle of water and took my first pill in the parking lot. Just from that first visit my anxiety was cut in half and the family looked so relieved. I hated putting them through any stress, which is one of the main reasons I quit drinking at 27. That and the wife was starting to lock me out when I stayed out late drinking with the boys back in the early days.

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