A Scorned Woman

By Summer Dee

Born in Fall River Massachusetts Summer Dee was a product of a single parent
household. After he lost his mother at eight years of age in a car accident, his
father (a hard working shipping and receiving manager) was forced to raise him
and his younger brother with the help of other family members
With the loss of his mother, Summer was still from a very stable loving family, who was
companionate, caring and understanding. There was never a loss for love and support.
Summer eventually fell in love with his high school sweetheart, then later shipping off
to the U.S. Marines. He eventually marries his high school sweetheart several years
later moving to Georgia. Did Summer ever know this woman that now became his
wife, and nightmare? Summer, had to make some hard choices to save his life, and the
lives of other family members.
This journey of strength, courage, determination and a fi ght for justice to survive!
Summer tells a gripping story of several overbearing years of his life to save his son,
and family from a Scorned, deceptive and violent Woman. He tells a story that many
people need to know, and the story that the judicial system needs to hear. He tells a
story that will help save many destructive custody battles and educate our families of
today, when they are on the verge of making the same choices. To contact the author send an email to [e-mail]

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Oct 3, 2013
• ISBN: 9781483697567

Book preview

Copyright © 2013 by Summer Dee.

Library of Congress Control Number:   2013916408

ISBN:      Hardcover      978-1-4836-9755-0

                Softcover       978-1-4836-9754-3

                Ebook           978-1-4836-9756-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Rev. date: 02/07/2014

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

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www.Xlibris.com

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Author’s Note

Introduction

1.   Our Relationship

2.   Going On

3.   The Right One

4.   Fatally Attracted

5.   Destruction

6.   The Challenges

7.   Twists and Turns

8.   Fighting Back

9.   Justice

10.   Standing Ground

11.   Persistence

12.   Stalking/Scorned Woman

13.   Abuse/My Son

14.   My Wife

15.   Family

16.   Final Thoughts

We are what we are today because of what happened yesterday, and our todays will remain horrible for precisely as long as we avoid the necessary confrontation with yesterday.

—Lerone Bennett Jr., 1964

DEDICATION

I dedicate this book to my wife, who has been through livid hell and back with me but has stood by my side when no other woman would have ever done.

I know my heart has found its final destination when I found her…

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I SAT FOR so long to put my tragic experience on paper for the world to see, and that took an understanding from my wife and children. So first and foremost, I dedicate this book to my wonderful family, who inspires me to believe in me. I love them for who I’ve become—thank you.

Specifically to my wonderful wife, whom I adore more than ever, as she has more strength and courage than anyone I have ever met.

To my son (because of the abuse, pain, torture, and suffering that you had experienced by the hands of your mom) and so many children throughout this wonderful world like him, this is your book. My heart, love, and prayers go out to you.

To all those wonderful and patient fathers who stand tall in front of that large brown desk, receiving downgrading orders, and never seem to be heard, this book is a tribute to all of us. One day, we will be seen as an equal (a loving parent) in probate court and not a payment.

Finally, to the most incredible attorney in the world—mine! To Michael J. Holden of South Boston, Massachusetts, thank you for all your hard work, patience, understanding, jokes, and presence. Without you, who’s to say how much worse things could have been! I will love you forever and will always be grateful for you just being you.

And to my friend Francis Murphy, without you, this book would still be just a memory—thank you.

Author’s Note

A few names in this book have been altered for many reasons.

INTRODUCTION

W E CAN ALL agree that the world today is a very violent place to be; it doesn’t seem to get better but worse.

Today, eight of ten women that already have restraining orders die from their attackers. The question is, do restraining orders work? Apparently, they don’t! Not if more people are continually getting hurt and even getting killed.

So what is the answer? Where do people go to get help? How do we protect ourselves without ending up in jail for protecting ourselves? As we all have seen, there has been a major uprise in stalking; it is such an emotional trauma.

We have all seen or heard of the movies like Fatal Attraction and Basic Instinct, and true-to-life stories like that of Amy Fisher, plus many more.

For some people, this is not a movie; they actually live in fear of their attacker on a day-to-day basis with actually no protection from the police. So their daily life becomes a living hell.

Stalkers are very dangerous and should be taken seriously. I believe that they must have a psychological disorder. Many stalkers have proven to be very unpredictable and inconsistent. In their mind, they feel as though they deserve to have you and that you are theirs and nobody else’s.

This book is about a woman who just could not and would not say good-bye. A Scorned Woman: When Your Ex-Wife Turns into Your Worst Nightmare is a psychological thriller that is based on a true story. It is about a woman whose only goal in life is to destroy her son’s father’s life at all costs even if she has to use her son to do it.

This story will capture your mind. It will provide you with realistic statistics, opinions, and vital information, which could possibly save your life and/or keep you sane.

When you complete this book and close the last page and take that last grasp of air, truly think about what you have read. Millions of people just cannot close the book and turn away because this is the type of life they live every day. Their lives are turned upside down into livid hell.

When people say, One person can make a difference, it is true. My ex-wife made a difference in our lives—she changed us forever.

ONE

Our Relationship

M Y MOM WAS killed in a car accident when I was eight years old. We just moved to the suburbs outside of the city in a small town in Massachusetts. She was on her way to pick up my brother at a preschool, just a few miles from home, when a car ran a red light and hit the rear passenger door with the point of the snowplow. The plow punctured my mother’s head. She was rushed to the hospital, and a few months later, she died, and we buried her on Christmas Eve. My life started out poorly, as it was heartbreaking that my mom passed away while I was so young.

When I was twelve years old, for a period until I went in the United States Marines, I was severely intoxicated seven days a week, twenty-four hours a day. I had overdosed three times, the third time being the worst of all. I would often pass out several times due to drinking too much alcohol and was on the edge of death.

At eighteen years old, I had to join the United States Marine Corps just because I knew that I had to in order to live. In a short period of time, I suffered abuse, depression, heartaches, and emotional challenges. Most of my life has been filled with bad experiences, but nothing could have prepared me for the experience and vengeance that a woman can impose upon a man.

This is the woman whom I fell in love with, the woman whom I married, and the same woman whom I share a child with. The woman whom I thought I knew inside and out became the sickest person I had ever known.

This woman became my worst nightmare, and getting out was through the worst experience that ended up carving a lifetime of emotional scars in my life.

I can remember a point in my life when I thought that I knew what true love was all about. I knew that I loved her because I’ve never loved anyone before her, so my heart belonged to her.

We had so many memories that we shared—and the child that we had. Then one day (like a heart attack), I got to know the real woman behind the mask—the woman whom I thought I knew, the woman who carried my heart, the woman whom I once loved, the mother of my child, the woman I shared so much with, and the woman I never wanted to leave—and now I wish she would just go away.

What I could never understand is how two people who once shared a relationship and, at one point in life, cared so much about each other could end up hating each other.

Even with all my dreadful experiences, I’ve always assumed that anything was possible and have always looked at the best of things.

Whenever children are involved in any situation, it is then that the children should be top priority. Every decision should be in their best interest, not ours. There are so many selfish parents that make the children pay an incredible price because of their own anger, pain, and greed.

Divorces can be devastating with a combination of consistent feuding, whether verbally, physically, and emotionally. Lives are torn apart, and they often end up in family courts. Some even more intense and end up in the criminal courts. So the lives that were once a private matter become public knowledge.

My life not only was ripped apart in the courts but also became a major front-page feature on the local newspaper (which had a circulation of twenty-seven thousand papers a day). The story took up almost the whole front page of the newspaper and a section inside on Columbus Day weekend.

I sit here thinking exactly what the day was that my whole life changed. I ask myself, What was it that I did to deserve to have my life turned upside down?

What did I do to have my wife and I deserve to be investigated by the district attorney’s office, Department of Social Services, local police departments, the probate courts, the district courts, etc.?

I realized when it all began—that decision, that exact second, right down to that exact day. If I knew then what I know now, my whole life would be very different, but that’s impossible. What I did on that day was I ended up taking the wrong exit instead of going straight home; I decided to take a different route, a short cut—that was it!

*     *     *

Here is how it all started! It was a beautiful spring night, one of those nights when the moon is so full and so bright that it lights up the entire sky; as you drive along the road, you can see for miles. With the wind blowing so gracefully through the car, I could just drive for hours. It’s so beautiful that I just didn’t want the evening to end because it’s not too hot; it was just right!

The warm wind was blowing through the car on this summer night as we were driving down the highway. My friend Ray Johnson and I were coming from City (the city) when I decided to get off the highway (one exit before the one we would normally take).

Ray has been a friend of mine for quite some time. Ray is quiet and would not hurt a fly. He liked to do whatever I wanted to do and never hesitated to be there for me when I needed him. He had dark-brown hair and weighed twenty to twenty-five pounds more than me. Ray was also two years younger than I was, so that made him fourteen years old.

I wanted the drive to last longer than it would have if I’d taken the highway. As we were proceeding down a different route in our town, we came to an intersection, which we then had to stop. I glanced over to a store to my right (the name of the store was Rudy’s). It was an old red shack, which has been a symbol of our town for quite some time. Well, if you’re facing Rudy’s (on the left side), there was a parking lot, and it was well lit. I noticed three girls over there that drew my attention.

As the light turned green, we slowly proceeded down the street when suddenly they flagged us down, so Ray and I pulled in. As we were approaching them, they began approaching us on foot. When they got close enough to have a visual and realized who we were, it became obvious to the girls that they had made a mistake by calling us over.

As we got close enough to them, one of the girls said, I’m sorry. I thought that you were my brother. He has a car just like this one.

Like just about any man, I took advantage of the situation and started a conversation. I said, Well, maybe it’s meant to be that you called us over by mistake?

She dipped her head over in a shy manner and responded, I have to go now because I’m not allowed to talk to boys in a car.

Ray then said, Is there any one of you girls that are allowed to grow up and talk to boys?

She responded, We are not like other girls. That’s why our families are strict with us. We have to go before we get in trouble!

I said, I will go now, but I really want to have a chance to talk to you again. Where do you usually hang out?

We usually hang out close to home, which is right around the corner.

OK, we will leave you girls before you get in trouble, but I have to see you again. Oh, by the way, what are your names?

My name is Shirley Conte. This is my best friend, Debbie Ashton, and her name is Donna Bern.

Well, Shirley Conte, I will see you soon, I hope!

We parted and went our separate ways, but all the way home, I could not stop talking about her to Ray. Debbie (Shirley’s best friend) was rather large for a young girl and dressed spunky; she was different than the other two girls and seemed to be a tagalong. Shirley and Donna were dressed like preps right to a tee, including their collars, which were opened up and high on their necks. She was very appealing to me for a few reasons: she came off to me as an innocent person, and I also found her to be a cutie rather than pretty. Don’t get me wrong—she was attractive, and I noticed that right off the bat.

Shirley was built strong, and you could tell she played sports, as she kept herself in great shape. Shirley was white, and so were her friends. She had brown silky hair and wore it in two long braids, which I thought was rather quite nice. Her eyes are chocolate brown, and when her head leaned to one side, her eyes blinked two to three times before returning to normal. She had shorts on with a yellow polo shirt. Shirley definitely was different from all the girls that I was associating with in the past and the present time.

After meeting Shirley, all I could do was think about her. I could not get her off my mind. I thought she was so cute, so nice, and innocent. There was something about her that I really liked. She caught my eye like no one has ever done before in my life. I have never been the type of person to commit to anyone; I really enjoyed playing the field, and it’s more fun. As I lay in bed, I thought that if I had someone like her, it was a possibility that I would commit to just her and would enjoy a real relationship.

*     *     *

A few weeks went by, and I became very busy and never found the time to go look for Shirley. It was Monday, and I was in math class on the second floor of the school. I was bringing my exam to the teacher, and the door was open.

Normally, the door was closed because this math teacher demands from his class their full attention. It was rather warm, so the teacher opened the door to allow the air condition to flow more rapidly throughout the room. As I approached the teacher’s desk, which was located in the front of the class near the doorway (the door being to the right of the desk), I glanced out and across the hall to another class—there she was. It was Shirley, and she noticed me as well as I did her.

What were the odds of that happening, especially because we never noticed one another before? After class, we ran into each other, and I said to her, So how have you been?

OK, I guess! as she was walking with her head down.

I said, Do you always have a class here?

Yes, I do! Actually, I usually sit in the back of the room, but someone had my seat.

Lucky for me, I said. This is my chance to open it up to more questions before we go to class.

But before I did, she said, I looked for you, but you never came back!

Well, I felt like an ass because I told her that I would be looking for her, and I never returned. As we walked through the crowded hallways to our classes, I was saying hello to just about everyone I saw. I knew everyone, and she really didn’t. So I looked at her and said, I have had the busiest past few weeks that you could ever imagine, with school coming to an end before summer. I said it with great comfort, and it seemed to work. I really think she believed me. She was going to the first floor, so we said our good-byes and wished to continue our conversation.

I was so excited to know that, no matter what, I would be able to see her at least once a day. As it goes to show, I began to see her a lot more than I thought I would. I began to see her all throughout the day. I never noticed her before and probably passed her so many times in the hall, but I was too occupied to notice. I found it funny when I noticed (for instance) a certain car that I have not seen before, and all of a sudden, it appears everywhere—and so did she—even though it was there all along.

I began to do my homework and find out as much as possible about her as I could. I found out that her brother was in my grade but at a much higher level. I was in the classes that were just enough to pass and say, I graduated from high school, whereas her brother was in classes that helped him prepare for college. We didn’t even hang out with the same type of crowd. She hung out with mostly preps, and I was with the partying crowd. I also found out that she was a gymnast for both a private gym and high school. She was also very smart, she had great grades, and she was not seeing anyone at this moment. Shirley was a freshman, and I was a sophomore.

I knew that we were so different from each other and that we came from two different worlds. All I could think of was that she was so beyond me and that I had no chance of ever going out with her. The more I spoke to her, the more I realized how special she really was. It became weird as though we were getting closer but yet so far away from each other. I hated rejection, but I was falling for her, so I had to decide what to do. Opportunities don’t come often, and when it does, it should be captured and enjoyed.

Summer was coming very soon, and I also knew that if I did not get the guts to ask her out on a date while we were in school, the odds of me getting a date with her during the summer was slim.

*     *     *

It was a Friday morning, and Shirley had gym. I approached the doors to the gym and slowly opened it. The doors were large, old, and red, and the paint was chipping off the door from years past. The door creaked, so I had to open it slowly, knowing that if the gym teacher caught me disturbing the class, he would be very upset. I wanted to get my answer either way and out of my system now regardless of the consequences.

When I first opened the door, she did not see me, so I got the attention through someone else. Shirley looked at me and, with a hand signal, asked me to wait. I watched her approach the teacher and then trot over to the door toward me.

She said, I told him I had to go to the bathroom, so I don’t have much time. What do you want?

My stomach was filled with nerves, and my heart was waiting to burst as I began to say what I had been feeling.

I looked into her eyes, and I knew I was in love with this girl.

You know what I want—I have fallen for you, and I think that you are a terrific person, so different from other girls I know. I felt the sweat beating down my face, and my hands were shaking. This isn’t me! I am so calm with girls. I said, I was wondering—with hesitation!—I would like to see you, and I was wondering if you would like to see me too? My mouth dried right up, and a huge lump began to appear in my throat as I waited, which seemed a lifetime, for the answer.

Shirley, without hesitation and with joy, replied, Of course, I’d like to date you!

We both looked at each other as if to say, it’s about time someone took the step. She had to get back to class, so I let her go and told her I would see her later. I walked away with complete joy and was really looking forward to the summer of 1982. I was just finishing up my sophomore year in high school; I had my own car and the perfect girl that I want by my side—what more can I ask for?

Shirley and I have been talking on the phone for quite some time now, and she was always the one to call me. I was not shocked because some girls that I dated in the past would do the same thing, but I really did not care because the relationship was never going anywhere anyway. There was racism in my town, just like in other places in the world; it was what I called silent racism.

It was the type of racism wherein you were welcomed to be friends with the daughter, but you were not allowed to see her as a boyfriend. Did it happen? Yes, it did! My cousin and I would see girls, and most of the time, no one knew about it for that reason. My cousin and I would call them our silent girlfriends. We could see them as long as their family and sometimes their friends cannot find out. To my cousin and me, this became a normal behavior, and we expected it.

When Shirley would call me, I felt as though I was in the silent-girlfriend mode. The key signs were I will call you, Meet me here, and Don’t tell whomever. I just went along with everything, knowing the answer, but I never asked the question.

The phone rang at the usual time, and I picked it up, and it was Shirley. We spoke for quite some time about a variety of things, and then I had to ask the question my cousin and I would often ask. I said to her, Is your family racist? Just seconds earlier, we kept interrupting each other, dying to say something, and now there was silence. She had to be asked the question no matter what the answer was. She still said nothing, so I continued to ask other questions. I said, Shirley, why is it that I am not allowed to call or pick you up at your house? Is your family prejudiced?

With her voice so silent, she replied, My family is not prejudiced. They just didn’t want me to date anyone at a young age. It has nothing to do with you being black or anything. It really has to do with me being young.

As I sat there on the other line, listening to her explain herself, I could not help but still wonder if that was the truth or not.

OK, Shirley, no problem. I do understand and respect their decision.

Devon, I care for you and want to be with you no matter what they want as long as you have patience and do it my way. If my brothers find out, they will tell my mom and dad, so they cannot find out either, OK?

No problem. If that’s what you have to do to see me, then we’ll do whatever we have to do.

I did not care if they were prejudiced or not. I was going to have the patience to do it her way just as long as she will be with me in the end.

Shirley said her father was a very strict man. He knew where everyone in the whole family was at any time of the day. He would demand that the whole family be home at 5:00 p.m. It was very important for all of them to sit together for dinner. If anyone was not on time, they were grounded. Shirley’s curfew during the summertime was 8:00 p.m.; it was difficult for us to spend any time with her.

Whenever Shirley and I would have the opportunity to meet, her friend Debbie would come with us wherever we went. We would never be alone to spend any quality time together. Debbie was not a very attractive person (both inside and out), and it was obvious that she would be alone for quite some time. I tried to match her up with a few of my friends just to keep her off my back, but that would not work; none of my friends would go for it.

Debbie never had any boyfriends nor did she ever go anywhere without Shirley by her side. I found it to be strange that Shirley was her only friend—I mean her only friend. They have been friends since grade school—and no one else. They claimed that they trusted no one but each other.

Time passed, and Debbie never went away. I would ask Shirley if there was any way it could be just her, and she would say, Then Debbie would have nothing to do. I could think of a few things she could do with herself.

*     *     *

I found Debbie to be a bit jealous of our relationship. Shirley began to tell me that Debbie was trying to tear us apart. Shirley would tell me that Debbie would tell her, What do you see in him? Since he came into your life, you have no time for me like you used to!

One day, I picked up Shirley, and she was rather upset. Before I drove away, I held her tight and began to speak to her softly.

Shirley, I said, are you all right? I asked as I wiped her hair off her face.

I’m fine, Devon! I just have had a rough day, and I’m glad to be with you!

Is there something I can do? You know if there is something that you want to talk about, let’s talk.

As she began to pick her head up, I noticed she had tears in her eyes, so I reached into the glove compartment to get a napkin. I took it and slowly wiped her tears away.

She reached over and grabbed my hands and slowly began to speak.

Devon, this has been one of the greatest summers that I have ever had. I have a great time with you, and I want us to continue to see each other.

She looked down and began to cry again. I knew nothing but bad news was about to come.

She continued to say, Today, Debbie told me to make a choice between you or her. She reminded me that my family would not accept you, so think about that!

My heart dropped, as I knew I was on the verge of losing this wonderful girl to a selfish, jealous person.

I said, So do you think that she is a true friend to make you make a choice like that and then threaten you if the choice is not in her favor?

Devon, I know that she is not my true friend now to do this, but we have been together all our lives, and she is all I have ever had as a friend. I also am so scared that she will tell my family.

So what is your decision, Shirley, do you know?

She replied, Devon, don’t be upset at me. I need some time, please! I don’t want to make a bad decision, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I wish that it was that easy. I really care about you, but I know my family will not accept you, and I will get in trouble.

My heart dropped as I was listening to what she was telling me, and yet I was so angry with Debbie for being so selfish because she was not appealing enough to get a boyfriend.

She asked me to drop her off and to give her some time and she will contact me. As she was leaving my car, I looked right into her eyes, hoping she would see the love I have for her, and I said, You mean so much to me, and I am willing to do whatever I have to keep you in my life. I know you have so much to think about, and I understand that. No matter what your decision will be, I will still love you.

As I drove away, I thought how controlling this girl was over Shirley. The fact of the matter was that Shirley will choose Debbie over me just because she was afraid of her family finding out about us.

*     *     *

It was July 15, 1982 (my seventeenth birthday), and I was looking forward to seeing Shirley. We had spoken on the phone a few times, and it all seemed to be better than I thought. We had made plans to meet for my birthday, and she sounded very encouraging about getting together.

We met at the usual place (two streets down from Rudy’s grocery store), a very quiet street with no activity because it was a dead end.

She jumped into the car so quickly that I thought she would land on my lap. She provided me with a happy-birthday smile, kiss, and gift. I loved everything that she gave me because it was all the stuff for my car, and I loved my car.

Just as the moment seemed to be going well, I watched her put her head down as if she was going to tell me something bad. It was a reflection of the other day.

She said, Devon, I could no longer be with you and continue to be in fear of my family finding out that I was with you. Debbie made that very clear to me that my family would find out.

So you’re telling me, Shirley, that you are going to let her do this to us?

I have no choice but to choose her over you, and it breaks my heart to do it, but it must be done. To be honest with you, Devon, this was the very first time my heart was broken.

I knew I had lost her for good because of Debbie, and my heart was broken also.

I said, Shirley, you could not imagine the pain that I feel because I love you so dearly, and yet I’m angry at you for breaking my heart. You are the first love of my life, and it hurts to know we will not be together.

She began to cry as well as I did and said, I must go, Devon. Debbie is waiting for me. I love you, and I always will.

As I watched her leave and walk down the street, tears began to flow down my face. I had a hard time accepting this breakup because I felt we were meant to be together. I have also had a hard time opening up my heart, and when I did, it was broken. My heart was broken as I drove away feeling very lonely and sad.

*     *     *

Time had passed, and it was now April 1983, my junior year in high school. As much as I had been trying to ignore Shirley, it seemed that she had been going out of her way to run into me. For months now, she had been seeing a friend of mine. His name is Dan Sanders, and I had known him for quite some time. He’s taller than me, with a skinny build (just like me) with black hair. He loved fast cars and had the fastest car in town. Dan was rather quiet and shy with women; in fact, we were all surprised that he had the guts to ask Shirley out.

My town was quite small, and so was the school system, so we all knew each other. There were quite a few of us who hung together. Our click was a group of guys that enjoyed fast cars and motorcycles. Dan was one of the guys who hung with us, so I would see Shirley all the time. But it was different; she would smile at me and make eye contact in a way I felt that she wanted to be with me again.

It wasn’t long before Shirley began to call me and tell me how much she missed being with me. She would tell me that her heart belongs to me no matter whom she was with. I did not care that she was telling this to me while she was seeing someone else because it felt so right, even though it was wrong.

Those calls led to a phone relationship, which led to cheating and a relationship behind her boyfriend’s back. I was wrong, and so was she because her boyfriend did not know we were seeing each other, nor did anyone.

Even though I knew it’s wrong, I was justifying the reasons why it was right. I knew I was selfish, and I was only thinking of myself, and yet I could not stop myself from being with her. We both knew that we are going to be carefree about this cheating relationship and eventually get caught.

It was brought to my attention that Dan found out about Shirley and me. The word was going around school that he was going to attack me when I least expected it and try to kick my ass. Days went on, and I was very cautious as I approached the day.

*     *     *

I was walking down the hall during class time in the morning, when no one was in the hallway. Everyone was in their respective classes, like they were supposed to be, when all of a sudden, the only two people in the halls were Dan and I. When I first saw Dan, my heart pounded, and my feet went numb, not because I was afraid to fight him but because I was caught, and it was time to face up. No doubt the time had arrived for this battle over a woman that we both wanted.

Over the last few days, he had been calling Shirley, shedding tears and pleading his case to win over her heart, and I had been celebrating my victory because destiny had come full circle.

His anger toward me has been building for days now, where I have been on a defense, waiting for the attack. His eyes were as solid as those of a leopard ready to attack his prey. His hands boiled with heat as he clutched them together in preparation to relieve his tensed body.

Not a word was spoken from either one of us; we just attacked each other with a vengeance. Fists were thrown back and forth, and the time had seemed to last a decade before a teacher broke it up. Students were clearing the class rooms, piling all over each other to just get a glimpse of what was to be a huge brawl. It was over just like that! We walked away from each other, never to speak again.

The day was dragging as I wished it would come to a close because I did not feel very satisfied about myself. I was feeling like the scum (that I am), knowing that I hurt someone that I once had considered a friend. I will always remember the hurt and pain in Dan’s eyes as he turned away from me and walked away alone. I knew right then and there that I had hurt someone that I once called a friend. It was the first time I had felt I truly did wrong to someone.

When Shirley began to tell me how she cared for me while she was with him, I should have pushed her away but instead caved in. What drew me back to her in the first place was that she was telling me on the phone, I could never get over you and that I really love you a lot.

She also said that she waited for me, but when she found out that I was seeing someone else, she felt it was time for her to go on. That was when Dan asked her out, and she accepted.

*     *     *

It was now June 1984; my senior year had come to an end. It seemed like yesterday that I was only a little boy playing baseball, and now I was ready to go into the United States Marine Corps in July. After a long fall, winter, and spring without her, this summer will be remarkable. Just as I was looking forward to spending this summer with her, I knew that I was leaving in July and going away for four years. After losing her last year, I’ve longed to be with her, and now we were together.

I knew I had to go, but now I did not want to leave her. There was no way I can go that long without her, so I did not want to go now. My love for her had changed; it had grown into something extraordinary.

Being with Shirley gave me the courage to face the world. I no longer had the fear of facing the world unprepared to succeed. If we were together, we can face it as one.

I told Shirley that I did not want to go now, and I must tell my father, but to face my father and disappoint him would be the largest mountain I would have to climb.

What career was I going to tell him I would choose instead of the Marine Corps? How was I going to convince him that I can make it without having to go in the Marine Corps, especially because I had no intentions of going to college!

I came home and asked my dad to sit with me and that I had something to say to him. I never asked him to do that, so I saw his face disappear, and he looked dazed and confused.

I said, Dad, I decided not to go into the Marine Corps and find a career out here instead. I really do not want to go.

You know, Devon, the best thing you can do is to go in the Marine Corps. I say this because you know you are not going to college, and there is no good-paying job out there unless you get an education. Are you prepared to go to college? The answer is no—I know you’re not! The Marine Corps will train and educate you, and when you come out, there will be so many opportunities for you. I promise you this! When you get out, Shirley, if she loves you, will be there waiting for you.

I had no answer because I knew he was right, but I still wanted to stay. My head was down, as I was feeling that I was not going to get this point across to him. I knew my father, and I also knew his decision was based on the fact that he had a party for me, and there was no way I was going to back out.

So I responded, Dad, you don’t understand!

Before I could finish, he said, If you do not go in the military, you better move out of the house (for my own good). You will see just how difficult it is to support just yourself.

My dad was as serious as I had ever seen him before, and I was so mad that he did not understand my point. I just walked away from him and stormed out of the house. I knew my dad loves me, and what he thinks is best for me really isn’t. I love Shirley, and I don’t ever want to lose her again. There was no doubt that if I should go away, she and I will separate forever, and that would be hard for me to accept. What would the odds be that we would find each other again?

I knew I had to go in the Marine Corps because it was in my best interest. I asked my dad for one favor, though. I asked him if I could just postpone it for one month and that I promise I will still go but in August, and he said that would be fine.

*     *     *

It was August 26, 1984, and I awoke very early this morning due to my new assignment—the United States Marine Corps. I realized that my father was indeed right, and it would be difficult to have the things in life that I wanted without having to change things in my life now. It was a decision that I had to make and had to see through if I had any chance at all to survive what life would hand to me.

Since my mom died when I was eight, my dad has been everything to my brother and me. He was like our main artery in our lives. He has been there for us through everything, and we highly relied on him each and every day. Neither my brother nor I had ever been apart from my dad for any length of time. My dad has had help from people, like family and neighbors, but the bulk of our upbringing has been on his shoulders.

My brother was very attached to my dad, and he never left his side. I believe that he was so afraid to lose my father, and that was the reason why he was so close to him.

We are three years apart and were very close to each other. My brother was named after my father, Albert, but he was known simply as brother. My brother was skinny like me, but with dark silky hair. I have a fro and never liked to cut it. My brother’s skin was darker than mine also, and we used to joke and tell him he was adopted.

When my father would go to the grocery store, my brother would go also. When he was home, he would play with his video games and mostly stay in the yard with his friends. My brother loved sports and knew all the baseball players by their manes and statistics. He was a great kid, and I made it a point to protect him from everything.

My dad was very tough, and sometimes I felt he can be too tough, but I guess that was his way of showing us he loved us so much.

I was old enough to realize that he has a lot of pressure on him to raise two boys and work in a single-parent household. He has to be hard on us but yet care and sympathize with us too. I owe my life to my dad, and I love him more than I had ever told him. He was about five feet seven inches, about 180-190 pounds. My dad has black hair, balding at the top.

They say that my dad resembled a celebrity named Cab Callaway. He was tough and yet so soft. At a drop of a dime, he will cry. My father was loved by so many because he truly was a genuine person.

Today was going to be extremely hard for me to leave because I was leaving the three closest people in my heart: my dad, my brother, and Shirley. It was so hard for me to go that I was scared inside. I felt comfort around these three, and that will go away once they drop me off and drive away.

The drive to the city will only take minutes, but I cannot stop the tears from rolling down my face because of what I was leaving behind that really hurts.

As we came around the corner, I can see the marine recruiter’s car in a distance. I had so much pain in my heart that I had to try my best to contain it.

I looked at Shirley (she was sitting with me in the backseat behind my father), and I hugged her first. I looked at her, knowing it will be some time before we see each other again.

I said, Shirley, there is a part of me that will stay here with you and a part of you that will go with me. I am leaving today for both of us. I know our love is strong enough to handle this separation because it is in both our best interests.

She wept and held me tight, and before I could finish what I had to say, she said, I promise I will love you forever and wait for you no matter how long.

I kissed her and said good-bye. I was going to miss her but not even close to how I would miss my father and brother. I then hugged my dad, and I began to lose it. The tears would not stop; I did not want to let go, but time was whispering away as I saw the marine recruiter over my dad’s shoulder, standing and patiently waiting.

I said, Dad, I cannot tell you what you mean to me and how much I love you. This is hard for me to go, but I know it is the best thing for me. Thank you for never giving up on brother and me. Mom would be proud of you. I love you, Dad.

He replied, I love you too, son.

The hardest one to leave was my little brother. He and I were together a lot, and I felt responsible to watch over him ever since our mom passed away. He was crying ever since we had woken up, and I knew I will miss him the most.

Brother, I said as I cried, looking into his eyes, I promise I will never stop thinking about you. I need you to be careful and watch out for everyone. I also need you to be good to Dad. I will miss you terribly, and I promise I will write you as much as I can. I love you, kid, OK? Be good.

He looked at me as if wondering if I will ever return. His gaze was frightened, and I reassured him I will return, and he will be fine. My heart was the heaviest for him because I love him so much. We both cried so much; I just could not let go of him.

I walked away and got into the car with my recruiter and another marine candidate from City. His name was Bob.

As we drove away, I turned back and saw all of them wiping their tears. My dad was holding my brother and Shirley in his arms, in a sense, reassuring them everything would be OK. I was not concerned what the recruiter or the other marine recruit thought of me, nor was I embarrassed to cry in front of them. I love my family, and that was that.

*     *     *

It went by fast even though it had been the longest three months of my life. Now it’s a day before Thanksgiving of 1984. I graduated from the U.S. Marine Corps and returned home. It was the longest three months of my life without her and my family. I really missed her so much, I can honestly say that, but not even close to how I missed my brother and father.

I was graduating from the United States Marine Corps at Parris Island, South Carolina, and my father, Aunt Eve, and my dad’s fiancée, Teresa, came to see me. When I came home, I ran to my brother. I missed him so much, and he missed me too. I used to be a boy, and in three months, I was broken down and was rebuilt as a man.

I came home a very different person, a person with goals, discipline, direction, leadership, and the knowledge of knowing my potential and me. I was no longer interested in drugs, and the thought of it made me sick. I looked at it now as God gave me a chance. Back when I used to party a lot, I overdosed three times and lived to talk about it. I felt blessed and felt as though I had been given a chance at a better life now—what a great feeling!

I arrived home, and a few days later, I went to the Marine Corps recruiting station. I worked out a deal with them to stay home for a few months. The deal was to recruit people into the Marine Corps. I would go to all the local schools and wherever they needed me to go to recruit people into the Marine Corps.

The district headquarters in Boston, Massachusetts, approved this. The period that I can do this duty was from November 1984 to January 1985 (exactly forty-five days). I was so excited to have this opportunity to be home, and it gave me a chance to recruit enough people and get another promotion.

I was enjoying this time home, and Shirley and I had been getting along so well. It felt like we were together for the first time; we were so in love, doing so many things. I spoke to her about being together and the challenge ahead of us. Then we spoke about separating, and she said, I love you, Devon, and I never want to be without you. We spoke about being faithful to each other even though we would be miles apart for so long. I wanted to ensure that we both had the same faith and confidence in our relationship. After we spoke, I felt so confident that our relationship would test the time.

The forty-five days did go by so fast, and it was time to go, and this time, it was for more than four months. I would be gone for a longer period of time than before. Even though I have not left yet, I already missed my dad, my brother, my aunts, and Shirley; each one of them provided a different type of happiness for me.

*     *     *

A few days later, I woke up in North Carolina, ready to begin the next stage of my Marine Corps training. Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, was a very large Marine Corps facility. It was the largest marine facility on the East Coast and one of the largest marine facilities in the world. This base was so large; I think it was the size of Rhode Island.

There were Marines doing despicable things to one another and the civilians. Here, if you’re not street-smart, you are in trouble because they can feel you out quick. These people party like you never saw before. They rip a place apart, and the military police reacts in seconds, and off goes the marine to the brig.

I gave up that partying life and wanted to come here to change my life, and that was my number-one goal. I did not expect anything less of myself.

I felt Shirley was acting differently on the phone lately. I tried to call her every night because I missed her so much. I felt alone, and all I could think about was her; so when I talk to her, the pain of missing her goes away for a short period. I was not sure how long this long-distance relationship was going to last, but I also did not think it would have the problems early either.

I was shocked that our relationship took a turn for the worse so soon. It was only three weeks until Shirley began to question whether we would make it or not. Our relationship was up and down, and all the inconsistency was because she was not sure if this long-distance relationship would work. Sometimes it seemed as though the more I wanted this to work, the more she didn’t.

We spoke on the phone quite often and usually for a long period of time. I would call her at her house (now that her family has accepted me), so when the telephone bill came in, she would tell me, and I would send her a check to pay for it. One day, when we were on the phone, she said, Devon, I just cannot do it anymore!

It just came out of the blue, and as she said it, my heart hit the floor. When she said those words, my life flashed in front of my eyes, and I knew I did not want to lose her. I had to do whatever I could to keep her in my life.

Shirley, I said, you know I love you so much, and you know that. I wish that you could be with me now, but you can’t, but our hearts travel through the clouds to meet. Give it some time, and it will be fine.

OK, Devon, I will give it a little more time, but I cannot promise anything. This is so difficult, a lot harder than I thought.

Shirley’s parents recently split up, and she now has all the freedom that she never had before. Her dad took a turn for the worse and fell off the wagon and started to drink heavy again, so he just had no care in the world. Now Shirley and her brother were out all hours of the night, and she was feeling good and free. Her father no longer cared, and she said he let her do whatever she wanted to do.

*     *     *

I called home to speak to one of my friends to see how he has been. Throughout our conversation, he told me that he saw Shirley out, and she was not the girl I knew. He said, Devon, she is not the same girl you think she is. She is running wild and dressing the part.

As I sat there on the other line, quiet as can be, my mind was running through a million concerns.

Devon, are you there?

Yes, I’m here. I was just thinking about something, you know. One minute, she tells me that she is home, being faithful, and the next—I paused and felt victimized and so hurt—she is out clubbing!

I got off the phone and called her several times and never reached her. Finally, two days later, we talked.

I called her, and her brother answered and told her I was on the line. She came on and said, Hello, babe! like nothing was wrong.

Shirley, where have you been for the last few days? I have been calling you, and there had been no return calls.

Devon, I have just been hanging out here with my friends and family.

So you have not been going out to clubs or anything?

Devon, you know me better than that. I don’t do things like that. I like being home, and my father would kill me if he found out I was going out like that.

"Someone told me that you have been going out dancing, is that true?

No, it’s not! They are lying to you to split us up. I love you, and you know that. Hey, maybe we should go our own way, what do you think?

Shirley, I know it’s hard, but I do not want to split up. I really want this to work.

We got off the phone like before, giving it another chance.

*     *     *

It was now June 1995, and Shirley was now graduating from high school. I was now stationed in Georgia, which was a great place in the Marines. Now that I was somewhere permanent and she was through with school, we talked about her coming to live with me.

In September 1995, we began to live together on and off. What she did was go back and forth for the next three years from Massachusetts to Georgia. She could never make up her mind what she wanted to do with her life. It was like a roller coaster mentally, and it also affected my wallet. Financially, it was very tough because when she was with me in Georgia, we were living out in town in our own apartment. The Marine Corps would not provide any additional income because we were not married, and Shirley did not work.

When we were together, I saw so many changes in the girl. I saw a girl that I love turn into a hard-charging woman who wanted to be free. She said she felt captured for so long and now wanted to run free. This all came on ever since her parents got separated. She became a lot more lose and outgoing in a different sense. I used to say to myself that she just has never been free because of her father’s strictness.

The day was finally here that Shirley and I decided to sit down and have a serious discussion about our future. We realized that we have problems that had to be worked out. We spoke about how much we loved each other and that if we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, where was our future taking us and would it work? We spoke of getting married when we got home and I was out of the Marine Corps.

We knew that it was very expensive for us to stay together in Georgia, but we really wanted nothing more than to be together. We realized that we were going to get married when we got home in front of our families, so why not now? By getting married, it would reduce the financial burden we have and relieve undue stress on our relationship and allow us to stay together.

It was January 1986 when Shirley and I got married. It was weird because we could not share the good news with anyone; it was just between her and me.

Shirley and I were so happy as we walked into the waiting area before getting married. We were standing there, waiting to go next, when I noticed the judge and his associate leaned over (between the cracked door) to look at us. I did not think that there was anything unusual about that but that he just wanted to see who was next. All of a sudden, his secretary said, The judge cannot marry you today!

Why not! I replied. He is here, isn’t he?