Repo Elf: A Cautionary Holiday Tale Not Suitable for Children

By Tony Perri and Tom Sims

Travis Johnson is no ordinary kid. He has caught one of Santas elves in the act of stealing back a gift! Honcho is no ordinary elf. He leads the special squad that take back gifts from naughty children who were only pretending to be nice. Now Santa must step in to resolve the situation. Can Santa forgive Travis? Will Travis get a second chance to do good? Repo Elf is a cautionary tale more for bigger kids and grown-ups than little kids. But everyone can learn something from this story of an elf seeking justice and a kids personal road to redemption.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Sep 30, 2016
• ISBN: 9781532007798

Tony Perri

Tom Sims is an author, filmmaker, and fund development professional from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. He has written two other books, Gabriella Gigabyte, for children, and Flix You Missed, a catalog about films from the past ten years that are often overlooked. He first mentioned the idea of an elf who repossesses gifts from naughty children in his column, Observations from Big Daddy, which he wrote for Parent’s Guide, a local parenting magazine. He is a single dad with two wonderful daughters who are grown. When they were kids, he did not threaten them with the story of Repo Elf, but he did indeed have a cell phone address book entry called Santa’s Office that he would dial every so often to keep the two of them in line. The number for the entry went to toll-free directory assistance. Please don’t judge him.

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REPO ELF

A CAUTIONARY HOLIDAY TALE

NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN

Copyright © 2008, 2016 Tom Sims.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

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Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0778-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-5320-0779-8 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 09/30/2016

To Aly and Julia, my beautiful daughters.

CONTENTS

ONE

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 1 of 8: Scheming to Get the Gift

TWO

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 2 of 8: A New Scheme—Trap an Elf

THREE

Honcho’s Testimony, Part 1 of 3: A Cautionary Tale, Not for Children!

FOUR

Honcho’s Testimony Part 2 of 3: An Elite Squad Rises

FIVE

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 3 of 8: Elf in a Net

SIX

Nick’s Testimony, Part 1 of 1: Taking Action under the Snowcap

SEVEN

Travis Johnson’s Testimony Part 4 of 8: Accused of Making a Deal

EIGHT

Honcho Testimony 3 of 3: Our Time under the Snowcap

NINE

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 5 of 8: Second Chances

TEN

Travis Johnson’s Testimony: Part 6 of 8: Showdown with Dirk

ELEVEN

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 7 of 8: Moment of Truth

TWELVE

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 8 of 8: Simple Solution

ONE

Travis Johnson’s Testimony, Part 1 of 8: Scheming to Get the Gift

Editor’s Note: The following is the first testimony from Travis Johnson to the North Pole Counsel of Regional Vice Presidents, as they wanted to know more about the incident. The Counsel is a small panel made up of Santa VPs overseeing several regions (such as North America, Europe, and the Pacific Rim). Testimonies are short with many breaks in between. These breaks are for drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and whipped cream, eating iced ginger bread cookies, and (of course) taking as many naps as necessary.

My name is Travis Johnson, and I’m ten years old. And I had to learn the hard way what my mom has told me a lot: You have to stand up but not for yourself—for what’s right. There’s a big difference.

Did you ever think the kids you’re hanging out with aren’t any good for you—but you didn’t know what to do about it? It’s a pain to stand up for what’s right. We all want to be liked—it’s natural, my mom says. So we let people say stuff we don’t agree with, and we even let them tell us we’re wrong. Like they got it right and we got it wrong. Like they know better than us. Like we all don’t have to learn the hard way. As if I didn’t.

A couple years ago, I started playing with some other kids in my neighborhood. That’s okay, but I’m not saying they’re like good friends or anything. I just play basketball with them sometimes and hang out at their houses. It’s something to do. I talk to my mom about her friends, and she says sometimes we make friends with people we were just meant to pass a little time with. Then they realize they’re not good friends. I don’t want to do that with Dirk and Angelo. My friend Chris I like spending time with. I guess there’s the difference there too.

Well, one day we’re all at Dirk’s house. When we go to his house, he always wants to stay in the bedroom. He yells at his mom, telling her we don’t want any of her snacks or lemonade. I don’t say anything when he’s doing this. Once, I told his mom I’d take a lemonade, and Dirk practically smacked me—grazing his hand against my arm. His face said, Don’t ask her for anything without him saying it. What I should have said was, Your mom is like my mom—she’s nice, she wants to give us something to drink. Let her. What I said was… nothing. Like I said, it’s a pain to stand up for what’s right.

Dirk’s bedroom smelled like dirty socks. I’ve never told him. I just opened a window. No matter how cold it is outside. That day, we were all talking about Christmas. Everyone wanted something. Angelo wanted a high-hat cymbal for his drum set and Chris wanted a pink leather jacket. Oh, she’s a girl—Chris, I mean. Her parents and mine were in the same bowling league, until my Dad died. Her parents are the best, still wanted her to stay in the bowling league and hang out even after Dad was gone. They hang out a lot together—so we do too. We bowled our first game together when we were three years old. But it’s not like we’re bowling nuts like our parents were or anything, you know.

Anyway I’m telling you nobody but nobody that year