Awful Beautiful Love: Joyful, Painful, Final Days

By Shivdutt Thakur

A college is place where many love stories begin and end. We make friends for life time. Emotions, feelings, lust and desire are there in every heart in college. This story is about love, lust and betrayal it is about friendship.
How one feels when he fails in love, how people fall in love dramatically, how a silent lover gets his love, how a guy so much in love with someone get ditched, how lust over comes love.
This story is all about love and its beautiful and awful aspects.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Partridge Publishing India
• Release date: Oct 7, 2015
• ISBN: 9781482857238

Shivdutt Thakur

Shivdutt Thakur is a young 21 year old writer, belong to Chamba Himachal Pradesh, he has a heart of Rebel. He had his schooling from district town; he completed his graduation in from Govt. College Dharmashala. He is very fond of writing and reading, he is writing since his school days, he have completely different thoughts about surrounding, he written for his student organization Akhil Bhartiya Vidyarthi Parishad (A.B.V.P.) as press person, few of his poetries and article are published in newspapers. He is an active blogger, an adventurer, traveler, he is writing since 7 years. You may reach the author at: Email- [e-mail] phone number- [phone] [phone]

Book preview

Awful

Beautiful

Love

Joyful, Painful, Final Days

Shivdutt Thakur

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Copyright © 2015 by Shivdutt Thakur.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

www.partridgepublishing.com/india

Contents

Chapter-1

Chapter-2

Chapter-3

Chapter-4

Chapter-5

Chapter-6

Chapter-7

Chapter-8

Chapter-9

Chapter-10

Chapter-11

Chapter-12

Chapter-13

Chapter-14

Chapter-15

Dedicated to:

All those who were on

my left and left me and to those who

were on my right and with me right now.

Special Thanks

To my father Dr. Pratap Singh Thakur for believing in me,

To Virender Choudhary, helping throughout with technicalities,

To Dr. Anuksh Sharma as big brother, and psychiatrist for motivating me every day,

To Nitesh Diman my roommate, for kicking my ass, giving my laptop in my hands every night,

To Antoniet Saints my Publishing Consultant at Partridge, to alarming me continuously week by week,

And to all friends who helped me through journey of Awful Beautiful love.

What is Love?

It’s said that love is blind; how love can be blind when it is the only light, without love everyone is blind. The one who is sensitive strong cause he respond to bad and good happening around him. A heart full of love is sensitive and strong at the same time; yeah love brings strength, strength to feel everybody pain and responds to it, it gives strength to feel the pain of destructed soul, pain of broken dreams, and pain of demolished desire can be overcome by love. A heart full of love only loves everybody equally, it doesn’t measure love, cause it knew that love can’t be measured, it knew that it can’t love someone less and other one more, it is free and dedicated for fulfilling its commitments, a loving heart remember everything. The enlighten man have heart full of love.

Love is infectious through who possess crystal heart, love is taking responsibilities, it is morning sunshine and stars twinkling in night, it is rain in drought and comfort in discomfort, or it’s just flawless like a crystal or solar system, it is creator of everything imaginable.

Love is to set loving ones free, let them thrive own their own, like post box in rain taking thousand mails keeping them safe inside, away from extremities but never ever exploit them, like nature created all and set all free to thrive.

Love is free from desire, entanglement, lust, possession; it is true and divine, Love is not blind but it’s only things which allows us to see through,

Love is when raindrops cools land

When sunlight nourishes earth,

When breeze heals wounds,

And unknowns become known.

Love is when river approaches sea

A mountain melts for free

A tree holding soil,

When every evening sun recoil,

Love is in all these undesired acts,

Never lost, never perfects

It is everywhere all around,

Like sky constantly staring at ground

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It was around 12 o’clock in noon, it was desending July, Sun was on hype; new students were inquiring about admission procedure on guidance bureaus at college gate, volunteers of different student organizations were helping them with admissions.

RUSA system was imposed on students, it was hard for students get admission under RUSA which had been total catastrophe since last year for students and teachers, limit was set for enrolling students, there were very few seats under every subject and students were enrolled on the basis of marit, it had brought disappointment to thousands of students willing to study under HPU, many student didn’t get admission, many didn’t get there desired trade, students had applied in colleges far from their homes ’cause they were not sure about getting admission in their home college, a quite impractical education system for a state of Himalaya for poor students.

It was unfair that someone judge someone on the basis of his mark sheets on the basis of percentage he had in his high school, but the university administration and state government was blind folded may be the only reason they thought that credit based semester system will work in state where some districts were covered with snow for 6 months in a years.

Education have been became a business, brilliant minds were not allowed to thrive, questioning old phenomenon is became crime, probably that is reason science never made any massive progresse in last 4 decades.

Sidharth was sitting in Science block of college with 15-16 new students around him, his friend Vikrant was with him. They were helping students with form filling, they were providing them instruction about form filling, as all forms were filled complete Sidharth checked each and every form, asked students to attach their Certificates in a specific order, as all forms were supposed prepare, they walked out of the room with all students with them, the campus is filled with holding against RUSA from his student organization, only his organization is condemning RUSA in Dharmshala college

I hate this college, Sidharth mumbled, he hated crowd always, adjusted his saffron muffler, checked his badge passed disturbed look to Vikrant and asked him for tea, they were fishes of same tank, class fellow but Vikrant was just like other class fellows for him about whom he never cared.

Sidharth gazed at lawn called a guy who was his junior from the same student organization, handed over new students to him for form submission, instructed him what to do as a senior volunteer and campus unit vice president of his student organization, and then he and Vikrant walked toward college gate.

He had attended almost fifty students on that day working since 9 in the morning, now he was unable to breathe because of nicotolysis, his brain was asking for nicotine, he was having a strong urge of smoking because of deficiency of nicotine in his blood, and he had to smoke.

He could have his tea in college canteen, but college canteen was a strange place for him, he rarely been at college canteen in 2 years of college. He passed out with Vikrant, having a gesture less face which was always there when he wanted to avoid people; he was king of his own kingdom and perfect servant for those who need help but right now his blood cells were shouting nicoteen nicoteen.

They walked out to a hut 2 minutes away from college behind under construction college auditorium, Sid was dying for cigarette, he order a king size Gold flake cigarette and two cups of tea, he lit up his cigarette started up his personal chimney, started making smoke rings, he completely ignored Vikrant until he finished his cigarette, for him he and his cigarette were the only two things left in this world, as he finished his cigarette, tea had already arrived to the table. They finished the tea and moved out.

Vikrant was getting late for home so he left for home from college gate, he asked Sidharth to go to his PG too, but Sidharth refused, he had attended the meeting at 3 o’clock, Sidharth entered the college with a comfortable look on his face smelling like an ashtray.

He checked on guidance bureaus of his student organization, if they were overloaded, he found 3 students with their guardians standing by guidance bureaus; he took them with him to the same room he was in before, he helped them with filling the form and took their addresses and phone numbers as per standard procedure so volunteers of his student organization can tell those student about their counseling result.

He went back to the guidance bureaus after he was done with all of them, he was free now there was no more work for him, he had done enough more than others, but he had to stay there till 3 o’clock so he could attended the daily meetings, he was heading meetings since President and sectary of his student organization were absentee continuously. He never talked to volunteers of his student without work; he loved to enjoy his own solitude.

The president and secretary of their student organization were not coming college since admissions had started, so he had to head the meetings. He attended the meeting at 3 o’clock volunteers raised issues; the major raised issue was that their student organization didn’t have enough badges and no sponsor to sponsor badges for them. The issue was really serious, badges were identity of every student organizations; he insured the volunteers that he’ll be talking about it to their full timer senior leader, who technically was supposed to look after such problems.

The meeting ended up in 15 minutes, everybody moved their home so do Sidharth; he used to walk from his college to his PG. As he crossed college boundary he freed his self from the badge he wearing around his neck and the saffron muffler, the two identities of their student organization and lit up a cigarette and called full timer senior leader and told him about the issues raised in the meeting, he told him that he had a sponsor ready for the sponsoring badges for them but he want some authorized person to meet them.

The leader asked Sidharth to look after them at his own but Sidharth refused by saying that he was supposed to handle the media cell that was his duty for the organization he was already handling campus in absence of president and Secretary, this type work belong to sectary or President himself or to the leader who had designed the campus body, and with some argues he convinced their leader to meet the sponsors on next day.

He reached his room by 4 o’clock, he picked up his boxing bandage placed them on his knuckles restated for few minutes and went to his boxing practice, he had restarted his boxing practice in May vacations, boxing was just a game for him he never thought of professional boxing but this time he was thinking of participating in open state boxing trials in Mid september. At exact five he reached sports complex, practiced boxing than banged his butts hard in Gym and he went to running track. The day was usual as his past 10 days, College, admissions, crowd, students, new faces, volunteering, taking meetings, Boxing, Gym, track.

25 June in noon Sidharth went to the sponsors with his leader, they talked about badge deal its layout and design, offered them favor regarded college work and student data, deal was sealed for 2000 badges. Then they came back to college for attending the meeting.

It was first time in 10 day, some else was taking meeting, leader announced about the 2000 badges in the meeting, but some volunteers suggested that they need laminated badge because laminated badge last long and were not wasted. Leader looked at Sidharth and asked him to call sponsors after meeting to tell them about change, and then they proceeded with daily work report.

Senior Leader asked them to plan protest against RUSA and execute that by next day. The meeting was over few volunteers were still in the room planning protest, Sidharth walked out with Leader, and they started talking about complexities with work, senior leader appreciated his work.

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Next day by noon the protest against RUSA was finished, college was rushed with new faces, newcomers were crowded at main gate area over guidance bureaus, Sidharth was supposed to prepare a press note he was supposed to handle media for organization, he had talked to journalists from local newspapers, there around 12-13 newspaper offices in town.

He prepared their press note Xeroxed 12-13 copies at same place he used smoke, Vikrant was with him. He had to wonder around whole town up and down to each newspaper office so asked Vikrant to company him, it was very rear Sidharth asked someone’s company, he preferred to stay alone and short stuff own his own probably that was why he never had to much friend in college and not in student organization he had join.

He was quite self-centered and that’s why his class fellows his collogues even his friends had considered him a jerk, an egoistic guy, but he never cared about but they think.

He and Vikrant walked to every single newspaper office by feet around the town that took 3 hours, it was first time for Vikrant to walk so much, but he didn’t complaint about that. Sidharth took contact number from every newspaper office so he won’t have run that much every time. He thanked